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[ENFP] Ask an ENFP

Crescent Fresh

Diving into Ni-space
Joined
Mar 17, 2011
Messages
802
MBTI Type
INFJ
Enneagram
4w5
Where you concerned with the fact that he was posting too much on a forum and you felt this made him look over zealous to others? As in you were concerned about his image or how he was presenting himself? Or was this symbolic about how you were feeling with regards to the relationship in general? Like he was spending too much time doing something other than being with you? I'm not quite sure.

"Yes" (the first two questions).

Keep in mind that the posting community only consist of 30 members, and that we're all friends IRL. So I wouldn't want others to think badly of him (and being the oldest). Given the fact that we're both moderators as well.



What I can tell you is that yes, a lot of ENFPs do not handle criticism well. I think this, possibly, stems from a few different things. One of them being...that many ENFPs have been criticized THEIR ENTIRE LIVES for merely being themselves. Too late, too happy, too fast, too excited, too revealing, too friendly, too funny…and on and on and on.

That's exactly what he complained to me about his mother as well. He said things like he would rather want to feel motivated by receiving compliments rather than criticisms, no matter how minor the criticism is. So I've been extra careful not to hurt his feelings.

Though I think that's also when people start to misunderstand ENFPs as their modes of expression can be out of the social norms. My real intention is try to help them to avoid the unfavorable consequences of any actions that might seem inappropriate, whereas he consider the importance of trial-and-error and wouldn't want to be judge beforehand. But yeah, I understand your P.O.V.s too.


I challenge anyone to challenge me here. Being born ENFP in a world…yah I’ll say it…an SJ world where there are time limits and rule and regulations and appropriate ways to behave in a social structure that goes completely against your ways of behaving…is not the easiest of fates.

To be honest, sometimes I felt they have this strong impulsive behavior to go against any type of hierarchy or authority. And it seems to me that it has to do with their upbringings during childhood.



When someone has a criticism of me it is probably best to just come out and say it (no sugar-coating). But if it doesn’t involve something fairly serious in nature…like I am unwittingly hurting someone else with my behavior…or am TOTALLY embarrassing myself and don’t realize it (keyword totally)…then I probably won’t be very responsive to it. It will just be like every other criticism I have received due to ENFPness.

Through my trial-and-error, I honestly felt it's rather damaging to do it without any sugar-coating. But the biggest irony here is that, (which I'm not sure of other ENFPs in general) he does unconsciously criticize others without thinking how that might affect our emotions as well (especially INFJs, as we also can be hard on taking criticisms).

I still remember one day we all joke about how our different our communication style are (mind you, this is done not discussed privately but in front of a small group of friends). He then mentioned I have a tendency to 'repeat' a few phrases whenever we chit-chat. We had a good laugh. But then he suddenly go into details about this habit as time-wasting and ineffective and it almost felt like I was being locked up in tiny seminar room being the subject of a professor.

Just recently, I found out from another friend that he told her privately in PM, asking her to make constructive posts instead of easy one-liner (though he did ask her politely). Anyhow, I just felt it's such an unfair deal for him not reciprocating judgments from others.

This might not have to do with ENFPs, and perhaps it's just him, but I do find in numerous occasions that he has a hard time to speak out his mind when it comes to pointing out others' flaws. On the contrary, he seems to be OK to confide it with a few trusted ones--which has caused him many unnecessary conflicts when people discovered it. :(




Anyways, I hope other ENFPs won't take my posts as criticism against them as I'm trying to understand my ENFP friend on a deeper level. :)
 

Lady_X

Well-known member
Joined
Oct 27, 2008
Messages
18,235
MBTI Type
ENFP
Enneagram
784
Instinctual Variant
sx/sp
Okay- necro!

Not because I think anybody cares to hear more about what enfps think haha but because I'm curious just how similar our answers might be

So if anyone wants to pretend to need to know stuff please do! :D
 

JAVO

.
Joined
Apr 24, 2007
Messages
9,053
MBTI Type
eNTP
Do ENFPs like ice cream? *




*Critical information I need to know for a scholarly article I'm writing. Or maybe not. ;)
 

five sounds

MyPeeSmellsLikeCoffee247
Joined
Jul 17, 2013
Messages
5,393
MBTI Type
ENFP
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729
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sx/sp
Do ENFPs like ice cream? *




*Critical information I need to know for a scholarly article I'm writing. Or maybe not. ;)

Literally my favorite sweet treat.
 

Amargith

Hotel California
Joined
Nov 5, 2008
Messages
14,717
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4dw
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sx/so
Do ENFPs like ice cream? *




*Critical information I need to know for a scholarly article I'm writing. Or maybe not. ;)

I do - but only seasonally and only if it is chocolate chip :heart:
 

Lady_X

Well-known member
Joined
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Messages
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Do ENFPs like ice cream? *




*Critical information I need to know for a scholarly article I'm writing. Or maybe not. ;)
Ya know... I do. I might love it. I can't be sure because I don't often crave it but sometimes it's just lovely.

Also thanks for playing! Haha :laugh:
 

JAVO

.
Joined
Apr 24, 2007
Messages
9,053
MBTI Type
eNTP
Literally my favorite sweet treat.
I do - but only seasonally and only if it is chocolate chip :heart:
Ya know... I do. I might love it. I can't be sure because I don't often crave it but sometimes it's just lovely.

Also thanks for playing! Haha :laugh:

See now, an NT might tend to respond with, "What flavor?" :D

Amargith's response was closest to that. Maybe she's been hanging around NTs too much? :laugh: ;)
 

Lady_X

Well-known member
Joined
Oct 27, 2008
Messages
18,235
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Look I've got approximately 10 min left of entertainment here!!

Someone play with me! Haha
 

kquirk

amateur cartographer
Joined
Jul 28, 2013
Messages
221
MBTI Type
INTJ
Enneagram
593
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sp/so
What do you want for Christmas/your birthday?
 

Lady_X

Well-known member
Joined
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See now, an NT might tend to respond with, "What flavor?" :D

Amargith's response was closest to that. Maybe she's been hanging around NTs too much? :laugh: ;)
Does that mean you are??

Hmm I like all flavors! I kinda always switch it up.
 

Amargith

Hotel California
Joined
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14,717
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See now, an NT might tend to respond with, "What flavor?" :D

Amargith's response was closest to that. Maybe she's been hanging around NTs too much? :laugh: ;)

I've learned to cover my ass over the years :laugh:
 

digesthisickness

✿ڿڰۣஇღ♥ wut ♥ღஇڿڰۣ✿
Joined
Apr 24, 2007
Messages
3,248
MBTI Type
ENTP
See now, an NT might tend to respond with, "What flavor?" :D

Amargith's response was closest to that. Maybe she's been hanging around NTs too much? :laugh: ;)

Actually, that was the first thing that came to mind. "Depends. What flavor?"

:shock:
 

Lady_X

Well-known member
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What do you want for Christmas/your birthday?

I want a very specific hand bag camera purse deal that will fit my laptop :D

Or... A vacation. I really could use even just a lil weekend trip.
 

five sounds

MyPeeSmellsLikeCoffee247
Joined
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See now, an NT might tend to respond with, "What flavor?" :D

Amargith's response was closest to that. Maybe she's been hanging around NTs too much? :laugh: ;)

I also like to switch it up. Love classic vanilla though.

What do you want for Christmas/your birthday?

Lol! A nice yoga mat and some musique. Trip sounds good too!
 

AzulEyes

New member
Joined
May 16, 2012
Messages
622
MBTI Type
ENFP
Enneagram
7w6
Instinctual Variant
sx/so
I like soft serve ice cream. But I mostly like chocolate. Pure chocolate- like good stuff. :)
 

Amargith

Hotel California
Joined
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14,717
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What do you want for Christmas/your birthday?

*hops on lap*

I want a pony, and an ipad mini with keyboard, and and and *licks lollipop*
 
S

Stansmith

Guest
Whats your approach to aesthetics? What usually catches your eye visually?
 
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