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Thread: Ask an ENFP

  1. #411
    abcdenfp Abcdenfp's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Sacrophagus View Post
    ENFP women. Let us entertain the next scenario: We're married, and you're feeling sick for few days. I put to halt my plans and take care of you. Amidst this chain of events I receive a call. Our 16 years old daughter tripped and harmed her head. Apparently she took that adorable clumsy demeanor from her mother. I make sure you don't need anything, and I leave after uttering the words "Darling, I will be back.", and before you start asking them, I say "Shhh. You take care of yourself while I'm away", while I kiss you on your forehead, avoiding the rain of questions a tenderhearted ENFP would ask even when she's bedridden. **sigh** I then go fetch our daughter, take her to the hospital, do the necessary thorough protocole to make sure she's fine, and take her back home. When we arrive, I instruct our daughter to wear a sleep cap to hide her bandages, and camouflage the whole thing in her sleeping attire. I come to see you, take your hand, and ask you "Have you been a good girl while I'm gone?", triggering your ENFP senses. "Yes, my love... hum, is our daughter back?". Naturally, you knew someone else came home from the footsteps, or perhaps, you're hiding cameras at home, I don't know. Damn, now I need to know if you're hiding cameras or not. Anyway. I call forth our daughter, and you get suspicious. "My daughter....Since when do you sleep in PJs?", you say in a funny voice. Fuck it. Our daughter must know about the benefits of sleeping naked, or, she simply does strip tease in front of camera, and if her mom comes in, her being naked is very convenient. Wait, strip tease involves clothes. She must merely know about the benefits of sleeping naked. I should have more faith in our daughter's moral compass. Or, or maybe our daughter sleeps in a different kind of attire. Maybe her mom is testing us. Maybe you are testing us. Nonetheless, our daughter remains focused and replies "Daddy bought them for me", I did, "and he wants me to put them on because he likes it that way." Okay, her reply sounded like I have a kink for this thing, but let's see what you reply "Ahhh, good girl". We dodged a bullet. Or did we? I don't know how the hell you did that stunt, but you just out of nowhere unpredictably jumped on our daughter and took off that cap. You can now see all of her bandages, and comes then the serious question: How would you react regarding everything that happened and how are you going to perceive the motive behind this series of actions?
    I have another perspective to present to you, do you see that in the above senario you have taken your partners right to make a decision regarding your daughter away from her? You've assumed that by not telling her your shielding her from a stressful situation, however you haven't given her the right to decide how to handle it for herself.. if you had presented her with what was happening with your daughter honestly perhaps because she knows from previous experience she can lean on you safely she may have said " my love, I can't I'm physically incapable, will you handle and keep me posted every step of the way?!"
    You still are her hero saving the day but you allowed her to be a part of the process, and when you get home the three of you can have an amazing shared experience of what the day was like for all of you VS you spinning a tale to shield her from something she doesn't need shielding from.
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  2. #412
    Mastermind Fieldmarshal Sacrophagus's Avatar
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    Time for the finale, shall we?

    @ Starry, now in the instance I talked to you, I mentioned my parents. Giving the context, they come to make you interpret things, even though it's nowhere literally said, that my father never allowed her to be part of the process. You will surely not question the use, and assume they come to back up my first claim. Argumentum ex silentio ad lapidem.
    "I won't let you come in my feelings' way about you, nor about our children."
    No one can actually come in the way of anyone's feelings. We're responsible for the way we feel, and fair enough, I will be the one to come in my feelings' way, change my thoughts, and own them.

    What's going on?

    Well, say that my query was to exact the way I think about things, vs the way I thought others thought about things, in a very cunning manner. Though some were very predictable.

    You didn't fail me, Starry. For one, the love you display is worthy of praise, along with your concern and understanding. That's a trait that will allow an INTJ to open up to you and eventually change the way he behaves because he's fond of you and of your kindheartedness.
    Allowing the other to slowly show us their layers, slowly but surely, as opposed to try to make them feel guilty for not to, "you're treating me like a porcelain doll", or trying to suffocate them with animosity into submission, like @Amargith , which is only going to drive the other away.

    If an INTJ loves you, cares about you, and you give him room to internalize your emotional needs, he will re-program himself into so. Literally.

    Now, @Abcdenfp, you're very aware of all this, since you're very in tune with your emotions and the emotions of others, constantly looking for a way to understand people better, and improving the way you communicate with them, consciously mindful to how it affects them. We would've never broken that chain of trust, nor thought about it, since you're never only about yourself in such situations, and you approach with genuine care, like you always do.

    Otherwise, INTJ scenario aside, I'll personally include my wife in my endeavors, however silly they might seem. She's my companion in crime, my council, and my partner, through the thick and thin.

  3. #413
    Its time. Cassandra's Avatar
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    That's funny. I remember taking that risk when me and my intj encountered that situation. He lied to me to protect me and save himself a serious head ache (being efficient) and i saw through it. We were friends at the time. I didnt guilt trip him, just made it clear it was a deal breaker for me. When he did it again and hung up on him 4 times and distanced myself a good while.

    He realised that a) i knew him too well to believe his lies and b) it wasnt efficient at all, but mostly c) i was someone who knew him so intimately he d never have to lie. Even for my benefit. I tend to like sll information and emotion, even the ugly stuff. And as @Abcdenfp stated, i like my freedom of choice. The porcelaindoll wasnt a guilttrip, its just a fact. It is the way i experience cthat kind of lie. And yes, id communicate that honestly to my husband - as i did to my then friend, now life partner. It brought us closer together because he no longer felt he had to hide stuff from everyone to protect them.

    I also briefly mentioned this convo to him and he also suggested that the dynamic between your parents looks very similar to that of his own parents. As he got older,he realised that the trust and shielding was for the kids benefit and things very much got discussed behind closed doors. That the trust between his parents and the division of labour in fact stemmed from those conversations and turned into perfected routines over the years that would lead to the kind of trust without words. Now, i dont know you, or your parents, but is there a chance that that might ve been the case?

    Because, what i was objecting to was the lack of communication itself

  4. #414
    IBleedPumpkinJuice thepumpkinpot's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by riva View Post
    @nfps

    If a powerful alien force conquers Earth and threatens to kill 100 million people every hour till you clean the huge mess in your room how many people would die?
    That'd never happen. My apartment is 98 percent of the time in an immaculate condition. I personally not only find a tidy and clean place more comfortable and attractive, and am used to it from when I was growing up, but also I find when your mind tends to be chaotic, keeping your environment clean and tidy helps keeping your mind organized. I can only speak for myself in this regard though, I don't know if it'd help fellow ENFPs.

    I do wonder though if ENFPs having chaotic apartments/rooms is just a cliché or not.
    .

    On afternoons I walk the graves
    The rusted cars, the mine shaft caves
    I'm away for weeks
    Arrive at night
    It's just me among the weeds
    Among the ghosts, among the leaves.



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    Please ignore certain spelling and grammatical errors, English is not my mother tongue.

  5. #415
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    Quote Originally Posted by riva View Post
    @nfps

    If a powerful alien force conquers Earth and threatens to kill 100 million people every hour till you clean the huge mess in your room how many people would die?
    Hahaha! Humanity is royally screwed.

    Seriously though. These aliens conquered Earth yet they're obsessed with the cleanliness of my room? Do they have OCD?

  6. #416
    Senior Member Riva's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Population: 1 View Post
    Hahaha! Humanity is royally screwed.

    Seriously though. These aliens conquered Earth yet they're obsessed with the cleanliness of my room? Do they have OCD?
    The aliens are enneagram 1s of course .
    .
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  7. #417
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    Quote Originally Posted by Cat Brainz View Post
    Based on my understanding I think Fi sub-type ENFPs are far less likey to hide behind a Te wall than Ne sub types based on the theory. I see a similar thing with ENTPs as Fe subtype ENTPs are far less "jerkish" and far more depedent in many ways,. Think Chandler from Friends who is a Fe subtype ENTP (Him being a 6w7 doesnt help things) and see how insecure he is lol compared to the cocky ENTP stereotype.

    Heh I do as well in many ways. I put on a troll front to hide myself to a degree as I find my trollish side helps defuse conflict and negativity keeping things light and shallow which is the So front until Sx kicks in then I wanna like be super deep with you. I've always seen So/Sx as like starting off with a party in your stylish lounge then scanning the crowd for those who you like and think will be good one on one and taking them to your embarrassing hobbies shed to get deeper with them so in other words the facade is dropped with a select few.
    Man this is super fascinating to me Brainz and I can't thank you enough for knowing this would expand my understanding or that that this needed to be said. It was kinda amazing to me too because we both went in the same place with the same info... (I "idea generate" a bizillion times faster than I read.)

    I recognize my bias in all of this but I always see the purest love and the most genuine self-sacrifice out of the "jerks" and "trolls" haha!! I'm pretty damn serious here though. We don't get the credit for it. If I were to use these concepts to express it I guess I would say that it is the Ji-ENPs that get the credit for being how the Je-ENPs actually are. It is impossible to hide something you don't have

  8. #418
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    Quote Originally Posted by Dreamer View Post
    Hahaha wait, what was he using? I must've missed this hideous thing. Oh @Cat Brainz, you silly guy
    omg did you see it yet? That was the Cheshire Cat from Alice in Satanland...

  9. #419
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    Quote Originally Posted by Lloyd View Post
    If you are in a group of friends and there is an INFP in that group, would someone think you're smarter than the INFP? If you think so, in what way? If not, why?

    Well I always consider the INFP "ENFP Lite"

    I routinely call on INFPs here to explain what I'm saying in order to look less crazy...
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  10. #420
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    Quote Originally Posted by Starry View Post
    I routinely call on INFPs here to explain what I'm saying in order to look less crazy...
    How much would you pay? For a reasonable rate I'll be your interpreter. Note: I will work for chocolate.

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