[INFJ] Hate an INFJ? Tell us why!

[EcK]

I'm talking about this shit:

Because that isn't how MBTI types work.

If you mean typing. Yes this how it works. While specific descriptions of preference might be simplified it doesn't make them wrong.

You can disagree with mbti's usefulness etc. But that's unrelated to the basis behind the testing. Which is indeed based on preferences spread across 4 bipolar dimensions.

 

[EcK]

Hmm, I think that the condescending INFJs (the more blatant ones) are the 4w5s. Once you get to know them, you'll realize that they truly do not value others ...yet they talk to you anyway instead of going full-on snob and ignoring you. They approach you with the air of knowing they are better (however they define it).

That's the part that doesn't make sense to me. They talk to me even as they know/think I am beneath them. I think that's rude. Well, I guess I understand why they talk to me. They literally forced to talk to people who are less than them because no one is better than them... so they'd be lonely if they ignored everyone. I wish they would ignore me because I hate that they think they are better than me (which is fine because there are skills they have that I don't have such not being so absent-minded, but what really grates me is that they devalue the aspects that I am good at just so they remain superior).

And this is NOT because they are introverted/don't talk a lot/keep to themselves. That's more an INFP thing (or simply an introvert thing mostly). INFJs truly will tell you to your face that they realize that they are better than everyone (including their closest friends) and tell you that they don't think that your perspective matters to them. And then they'll go on a rant about their perspective because it is "oh so important and it should matter to everyone but it doesn't".

I don't want to change them (because you legitimately cannot ...they will die being superior and even after death they will be superior still), but I at least hope that they can be sympathetic/understanding to the fact that it doesn't feel good to be with someone who thinks they are better than them. As long as they understand that ...that's fine. I can tolerate it.

Interestingly, 4w3 INFJs are not as bad since they seek external validation on some level. But with a 4w5, they totally make you feel like the only reason why they are friends with you is for a really shitty reason, whatever that reason may be.

I feel butthurted-ness and a vague belief in tarot cards in your past.

 

[EcK]

Hey will you look at that, 31 people voted "Awesome!" Nice...

attitude vs behavior in social animals. I would not get my hopes up if I were you

Also your poll doesn't really offer much nuance.

 

[Merced]

If you mean typing. Yes this how it works. While specific descriptions of preference might be simplified it doesn't make them wrong.

You can disagree with mbti's usefulness etc. But that's unrelated to the basis behind the testing. Which is indeed based on preferences spread across 4 bipolar dimensions.

MBTI types are based on function stacks, not letters. Function axes are what people look at when they type. As in Fe-Ti, Te-Fi, Ne-Si, Si-Ne. So if you were to self asses, you wouldn't look at these super broad descriptions, you would look at your functions and how they fall into place for you.

This over simplification makes it wrong. Especially for IxxPs and IxxJs, who lead with judging and perceiving functions respectively.

 

[Cloudpatrol]

Infjs are fine. I mean don't take me wrong they tend to be over-caring dorks but hey. That's what hair ruffling is for.

Cat ladies are more concerning [MENTION=5494]Amargith[/MENTION]

(I confess that gif is a little creepy )

 

[hazelsees]

Wow. It's been a very long time since I've visited this forum. I can see nothing has changed.

Still not sure I understand this (online) hatred for a specific type. It's so weird to me.

Someone posts some "thing" or attribute of their INFJ ex, friend, relative and so on...
Then most INFJs here can't really relate to whatever bad thing the "INFJ" supposedly did. And we say that...or hint that maybe their "INFJ" person isn't really an INFJ. Then all hell breaks loose. "You just can't see how you really are...you're in denial...You think you're so rare and special and don't want anyone else in the world to be an INFJ, blah, blah, blah."

Then go to another thread pointing out something "negative" about another type. For example, last time I checked in (many months ago) a person had posted something "negative" about an ENFP that she knows. Guess what? The ENFPs on the forum did exactly above (the same thing the INFJs did/do) "It's doubtful that an ENFP would act that way, I never do that...your friend probably isn't an ENFP....and so on...
And guess what again. Not one INFJ (or any other type) accused the ENFP of the things that everyone feels free to say to the INFJs.
Like I said, it's so weird how it's okay for everyone to gang up on this particular type. It's interesting to me even. I've actually put quite a bit of thought into it in the past.

For one. It's a given that if anyone comes to this forum with a bad experience associated with an INFJ, than the situation is exactly as the person describes. There's no other perspectives--it's just as this person said. AND the bad person (INFJ) is FOR sure an INFJ because this person said so. AND every other INFJ is guilty of the behavior of the INFJ in the story. Even if we can't relate. BUT we must answer for the behavior of this person...and accept that it's our behavior too. If this person raped someone. We've raped someone too.

Then...well, I'm not sure if it's just people who spend their life online and don't have many relationships outside of the online world (not that it's a bad thing, but it is a different way of being). But...I'm an INFJ. And some of my most favorite people are INFPs...which seem to all but hate INFJs here on this forum. And the crazy thing is, these INFPs (in my real life--not online) seem to like me too. Two of my interns have been INFPs. They have enjoyed working with me according to other parties. My favorite past co-worker is an INFP. We have the best relationship. Our interests are similar and we really just get along so well.

and here's another thing. This INFJ doesn't want to be a special snowflake. This attribute belongs to another type. I am SO excited if I think someone else is an INFJ. I SO want to be understood. That is my biggest and greatest desire--to be understood. And it doesn't happen on this forum. There's been a few of the more mature nonINFJ NF's who think they understand, but they don't. In the past, I read through their comments and nope...they aren't getting it. BECAUSE honestly, we are saying the same things they are...but just in a different way. In our language. But it's twisted into something opposing when it's not.

I also get all of my flaws only too well.
The three people that I am closest too all have Fi as their auxiliary. They point out often that I can't just let them have their feelings--anger/hurt/etc. Instead, I have to present different perspectives. In fact, one just said yesterday, "why do you always make excuses for everyone?" I know that when I deal with these dear people, I need to NOT offer perspectives, but just let them have theirs. I should not say..."maybe that person who wronged you had a bad day...maybe their grandma died, maybe their spouse left them, maybe they lost their job." I just need to acknowledge the wrong that was done to them and
not look at the reasons why. Just because I live my life this way, I should not expect others to look at different perspectives. I'm trying to do better with this, but it's as natural to me as breathing.

Anyway...y'all keep on hating INFJs and I'll keep on being me and trying to better myself more each day. But please know, that this forum isn't helpful. It's hurtful if anything. It's not that an INFJ can't take criticism...but this is different and if you can't see it, then you're unaware...and probably don't care.
Years ago, when I first came here, I thought these "hate" threads were funny and people were just laughing at themselves and having fun, until I realized that isn't the case here.
Don't worry about replying. I won't be back...well, maybe I'll check in a few months.

 

[Forever]

Wow. It's been a very long time since I've visited this forum. I can see nothing has changed.

Still not sure I understand this (online) hatred for a specific type. It's so weird to me.

Someone posts some "thing" or attribute of their INFJ ex, friend, relative and so on...
Then most INFJs here can't really relate to whatever bad thing the "INFJ" supposedly did. And we say that...or hint that maybe their "INFJ" person isn't really an INFJ. Then all hell breaks loose. "You just can't see how you really are...you're in denial...You think you're so rare and special and don't want anyone else in the world to be an INFJ, blah, blah, blah."

Then go to another thread pointing out something "negative" about another type. For example, last time I checked in (many months ago) a person had posted something "negative" about an ENFP that she knows. Guess what? The ENFPs on the forum did exactly above (the same thing the INFJs did/do) "It's doubtful that an ENFP would act that way, I never do that...your friend probably isn't an ENFP....and so on...
And guess what again. Not one INFJ (or any other type) accused the ENFP of the things that everyone feels free to say to the INFJs.
Like I said, it's so weird how it's okay for everyone to gang up on this particular type. It's interesting to me even. I've actually put quite a bit of thought into it in the past.

For one. It's a given that if anyone comes to this forum with a bad experience associated with an INFJ, than the situation is exactly as the person describes. There's no other perspectives--it's just as this person said. AND the bad person (INFJ) is FOR sure an INFJ because this person said so. AND every other INFJ is guilty of the behavior of the INFJ in the story. Even if we can't relate. BUT we must answer for the behavior of this person...and accept that it's our behavior too. If this person raped someone. We've raped someone too.

Then...well, I'm not sure if it's just people who spend their life online and don't have many relationships outside of the online world (not that it's a bad thing, but it is a different way of being). But...I'm an INFJ. And some of my most favorite people are INFPs...which seem to all but hate INFJs here on this forum. And the crazy thing is, these INFPs (in my real life--not online) seem to like me too. Two of my interns have been INFPs. They have enjoyed working with me according to other parties. My favorite past co-worker is an INFP. We have the best relationship. Our interests are similar and we really just get along so well.

and here's another thing. This INFJ doesn't want to be a special snowflake. This attribute belongs to another type. I am SO excited if I think someone else is an INFJ. I SO want to be understood. That is my biggest and greatest desire--to be understood. And it doesn't happen on this forum. There's been a few of the more mature nonINFJ NF's who think they understand, but they don't. In the past, I read through their comments and nope...they aren't getting it. BECAUSE honestly, we are saying the same things they are...but just in a different way. In our language. But it's twisted into something opposing when it's not.

I also get all of my flaws only too well.
The three people that I am closest too all have Fi as their auxiliary. They point out often that I can't just let them have their feelings--anger/hurt/etc. Instead, I have to present different perspectives. In fact, one just said yesterday, "why do you always make excuses for everyone?" I know that when I deal with these dear people, I need to NOT offer perspectives, but just let them have theirs. I should not say..."maybe that person who wronged you had a bad day...maybe their grandma died, maybe their spouse left them, maybe they lost their job." I just need to acknowledge the wrong that was done to them and
not look at the reasons why. Just because I live my life this way, I should not expect others to look at different perspectives. I'm trying to do better with this, but it's as natural to me as breathing.

Anyway...y'all keep on hating INFJs and I'll keep on being me and trying to better myself more each day. But please know, that this forum isn't helpful. It's hurtful if anything. It's not that an INFJ can't take criticism...but this is different and if you can't see it, then you're unaware...and probably don't care.
Years ago, when I first came here, I thought these "hate" threads were funny and people were just laughing at themselves and having fun, until I realized that isn't the case here.
Don't worry about replying. I won't be back...well, maybe I'll check in a few months.

They'll never understand. They just need someone to blame on to use as their scapegoat for their social inadequacies

 

[Forever]

I happen to be a 9w1 INFJ. The labels that she puts on me stem from me not fitting in to what she would like me to fit into I think. I definitely don't see myself as better than others. And I truly don't try to be rude or condescending. I am quiet and reserved though. And I do need more time than typical to recharge, especially if I'm stressed, tired, or have been in overly social environments. I'm a preschool teacher, so I literally talk all day long, and sometimes just don't want to talk. I am actually pretty close to the middle of INFJ/INTJ though, so maybe I do unintentionally coming across as that way. :/

What made you decide you wanted to become a preschool teacher with a dynamic of being an INxJ?

Usually sensors like to teach lower grades as its more hands on/consistent and universities are filled more intuitive professors, being theory lovers and wanting to research and find new things.

 

[Amargith]

Infjs are fine. I mean don't take me wrong they tend to be over-caring dorks but hey. That's what hair ruffling is for.

Cat ladies are more concerning [MENTION=5494]Amargith[/MENTION]

*********************************************



Meanwhile, despite this thread being started by an INFJ over 6 years ago, it's clear that feedback is no longer appreciated, so maybe it should get closed

 

[Yara the Corpse]

fuck off

 

[INTerran]

I also teach college history, and I am working on my second Master's degree in Early Childhood to be able to teach EC at college...which is my ultimate goal. My career path has been a winding road that lead me to EC, and I really am fulfilled working with my four year olds seeing their growth and development.

 

[Z Buck McFate]

Wow. It's been a very long time since I've visited this forum. I can see nothing has changed.

Still not sure I understand this (online) hatred for a specific type. It's so weird to me.

Someone posts some "thing" or attribute of their INFJ ex, friend, relative and so on...
Then most INFJs here can't really relate to whatever bad thing the "INFJ" supposedly did. And we say that...or hint that maybe their "INFJ" person isn't really an INFJ. Then all hell breaks loose. "You just can't see how you really are...you're in denial...You think you're so rare and special and don't want anyone else in the world to be an INFJ, blah, blah, blah."

Then go to another thread pointing out something "negative" about another type. For example, last time I checked in (many months ago) a person had posted something "negative" about an ENFP that she knows. Guess what? The ENFPs on the forum did exactly above (the same thing the INFJs did/do) "It's doubtful that an ENFP would act that way, I never do that...your friend probably isn't an ENFP....and so on...
And guess what again. Not one INFJ (or any other type) accused the ENFP of the things that everyone feels free to say to the INFJs.
Like I said, it's so weird how it's okay for everyone to gang up on this particular type. It's interesting to me even. I've actually put quite a bit of thought into it in the past.

For one. It's a given that if anyone comes to this forum with a bad experience associated with an INFJ, than the situation is exactly as the person describes. There's no other perspectives--it's just as this person said. AND the bad person (INFJ) is FOR sure an INFJ because this person said so. AND every other INFJ is guilty of the behavior of the INFJ in the story. Even if we can't relate. BUT we must answer for the behavior of this person...and accept that it's our behavior too. If this person raped someone. We've raped someone too.

Then...well, I'm not sure if it's just people who spend their life online and don't have many relationships outside of the online world (not that it's a bad thing, but it is a different way of being). But...I'm an INFJ. And some of my most favorite people are INFPs...which seem to all but hate INFJs here on this forum. And the crazy thing is, these INFPs (in my real life--not online) seem to like me too. Two of my interns have been INFPs. They have enjoyed working with me according to other parties. My favorite past co-worker is an INFP. We have the best relationship. Our interests are similar and we really just get along so well.

and here's another thing. This INFJ doesn't want to be a special snowflake. This attribute belongs to another type. I am SO excited if I think someone else is an INFJ. I SO want to be understood. That is my biggest and greatest desire--to be understood. And it doesn't happen on this forum. There's been a few of the more mature nonINFJ NF's who think they understand, but they don't. In the past, I read through their comments and nope...they aren't getting it. BECAUSE honestly, we are saying the same things they are...but just in a different way. In our language. But it's twisted into something opposing when it's not.

I also get all of my flaws only too well.
The three people that I am closest too all have Fi as their auxiliary. They point out often that I can't just let them have their feelings--anger/hurt/etc. Instead, I have to present different perspectives. In fact, one just said yesterday, "why do you always make excuses for everyone?" I know that when I deal with these dear people, I need to NOT offer perspectives, but just let them have theirs. I should not say..."maybe that person who wronged you had a bad day...maybe their grandma died, maybe their spouse left them, maybe they lost their job." I just need to acknowledge the wrong that was done to them and
not look at the reasons why. Just because I live my life this way, I should not expect others to look at different perspectives. I'm trying to do better with this, but it's as natural to me as breathing.

Anyway...y'all keep on hating INFJs and I'll keep on being me and trying to better myself more each day. But please know, that this forum isn't helpful. It's hurtful if anything. It's not that an INFJ can't take criticism...but this is different and if you can't see it, then you're unaware...and probably don't care.
Years ago, when I first came here, I thought these "hate" threads were funny and people were just laughing at themselves and having fun, until I realized that isn't the case here.
Don't worry about replying. I won't be back...well, maybe I'll check in a few months

.

If anything, I just wish these kinds of threads yielded helpful feedback, instead of (almost) always seeming to yield feedback that doesn't really seem like a fit. Even when someone is describing INFJ behavior, it's usually so loaded with incorrect assumptions and/or clouded by vitriol or some need to control the perception of others that it's practically useless. It would be great if feedback about INFJs were offered in observable behavior format, including the reason why that observable behavior has consequences that we might not be aware of.

I think people post here more to vent and get their feelings validated more than to offer feedback though, so I can understand why there's a bad reaction to INFJ reactions like this. (I do wish there were a thread for people to offer rational, calm feedback though- for the purpose of helping INFJs see it, not to validate their own feelings. And yeah, the hypocrisy of other types being able to say something like all that^ without a big manipulative backlash can be very frustrating, but whatever.)

 

[hjgbujhghg]

I don't know enough INFJs to hate them

 

[Forever]

It's literally absurd to hate a type. It's an abstraction without specific behavior but rather on cognition. Pretty much every race has their said type laced in their own cultural reality. So I'd see it's pretty small minded to hate someone because of such a narrow fixation. There can be advice true. But to hate honestly comes out of immaturity.

 

[meowington]

It's literally absurd to hate a type.

Yeah totally agree. When I first learned about MBTI about a decade ago I used to do that. Like I had this one aquintance who was a jackass and type XXXX, so all types XXXX must be a bit like that. I've learned that that is not true. For one because people can be jackasses for a reason beyond your own scope, and I should not judge them anyway, but secondly cause within the same type you can have all sorts of flavors. It's basically the same as judging people on their appearances.
I only know one INFJ with certainty except myself and I love her cause she's extremely punctual like me. Someone you can depend on.

 

[Amargith]

Oh my god.

Enough already. We get it.

It's funny - yes, other types get defensive in their own way in their hate threads, as well, as people vent there as well, and yes, they do attribute things to a type that may not be universal - I know Ive thought that more than once in an enfp thread and responded to it, so no, it's not exactly an INFJ hate thread only phenomenon, and yes, you guys got slammed the most recently, and had several threads at the same time going with an INFP/INFJ conflict blowing up on you, so I get that there is a certain sensitivity to this, but seriously?

This thread is 6, count em, 6 years old and got recently resurrected. *Every* type has threads like that, AND it was started by an INFJ asking for it- the hate title was tongue-in-cheek.

And let's not even get into the irony of pretty much giving a serious demonstration of just about *every* trait that's been mentioned in this thread

Add some INFJ's don't like feedback unless it's been stamped and approved in format, size and content to the fucking list. Tertiary Ti for the fucking win.


Can we close this fucking whine fest already? I think it would be in everybody's best interest, at this point.

 

[EcK]

Wow. It's been a very long time since I've visited this forum. I can see nothing has changed.

Still not sure I understand this (online) hatred for a specific type. It's so weird to me.

Someone posts some "thing" or attribute of their INFJ ex, friend, relative and so on...
Then most INFJs here can't really relate to whatever bad thing the "INFJ" supposedly did. And we say that...or hint that maybe their "INFJ" person isn't really an INFJ. Then all hell breaks loose. "You just can't see how you really are...you're in denial...You think you're so rare and special and don't want anyone else in the world to be an INFJ, blah, blah, blah."

Then go to another thread pointing out something "negative" about another type. For example, last time I checked in (many months ago) a person had posted something "negative" about an ENFP that she knows. Guess what? The ENFPs on the forum did exactly above (the same thing the INFJs did/do) "It's doubtful that an ENFP would act that way, I never do that...your friend probably isn't an ENFP....and so on...
And guess what again. Not one INFJ (or any other type) accused the ENFP of the things that everyone feels free to say to the INFJs.
Like I said, it's so weird how it's okay for everyone to gang up on this particular type. It's interesting to me even. I've actually put quite a bit of thought into it in the past.

For one. It's a given that if anyone comes to this forum with a bad experience associated with an INFJ, than the situation is exactly as the person describes. There's no other perspectives--it's just as this person said. AND the bad person (INFJ) is FOR sure an INFJ because this person said so. AND every other INFJ is guilty of the behavior of the INFJ in the story. Even if we can't relate. BUT we must answer for the behavior of this person...and accept that it's our behavior too. If this person raped someone. We've raped someone too.

Then...well, I'm not sure if it's just people who spend their life online and don't have many relationships outside of the online world (not that it's a bad thing, but it is a different way of being). But...I'm an INFJ. And some of my most favorite people are INFPs...which seem to all but hate INFJs here on this forum. And the crazy thing is, these INFPs (in my real life--not online) seem to like me too. Two of my interns have been INFPs. They have enjoyed working with me according to other parties. My favorite past co-worker is an INFP. We have the best relationship. Our interests are similar and we really just get along so well.

and here's another thing. This INFJ doesn't want to be a special snowflake. This attribute belongs to another type. I am SO excited if I think someone else is an INFJ. I SO want to be understood. That is my biggest and greatest desire--to be understood. And it doesn't happen on this forum. There's been a few of the more mature nonINFJ NF's who think they understand, but they don't. In the past, I read through their comments and nope...they aren't getting it. BECAUSE honestly, we are saying the same things they are...but just in a different way. In our language. But it's twisted into something opposing when it's not.

I also get all of my flaws only too well.
The three people that I am closest too all have Fi as their auxiliary. They point out often that I can't just let them have their feelings--anger/hurt/etc. Instead, I have to present different perspectives. In fact, one just said yesterday, "why do you always make excuses for everyone?" I know that when I deal with these dear people, I need to NOT offer perspectives, but just let them have theirs. I should not say..."maybe that person who wronged you had a bad day...maybe their grandma died, maybe their spouse left them, maybe they lost their job." I just need to acknowledge the wrong that was done to them and
not look at the reasons why. Just because I live my life this way, I should not expect others to look at different perspectives. I'm trying to do better with this, but it's as natural to me as breathing.

Anyway...y'all keep on hating INFJs and I'll keep on being me and trying to better myself more each day. But please know, that this forum isn't helpful. It's hurtful if anything. It's not that an INFJ can't take criticism...but this is different and if you can't see it, then you're unaware...and probably don't care.
Years ago, when I first came here, I thought these "hate" threads were funny and people were just laughing at themselves and having fun, until I realized that isn't the case here.
Don't worry about replying. I won't be back...well, maybe I'll check in a few months.

Well the people who geniunely confuse one experience with a rule are retarded. So ya know. Take it with a grain of salt.

However a "bash" thread is often quite a "second degree" kind of thing, except for the aforementioned retards, of course.

Furthermore as [MENTION=5494]Amargith[/MENTION] mentioned there are thread like that on most types. Especially enfps - as they are the worst

So I wouldn't say infjs are in any way singled out in that matter. It is true however that - in my experience - infjs are sensitive to criticism (not the only ones obviously). However that doesn't mean there's any witch hunt going on.

As far as I know infjs are - on average - amongst the most well liked people.

 

[EcK]

Oh my god.

Enough already. We get it.

It's funny - yes, other types get defensive in their own way in their hate threads, as well, as people vent there as well, and yes, they do attribute things to a type that may not be universal - I know Ive thought that more than once in an enfp thread and responded to it, so no, it's not exactly an INFJ hate thread only phenomenon, and yes, you guys got slammed the most recently, and had several threads at the same time going with an INFP/INFJ conflict blowing up on you, so I get that there is a certain sensitivity to this, but seriously?

This thread is 6, count em, 6 years old and got recently resurrected. *Every* type has threads like that, AND it was started by an INFJ asking for it- the hate title was tongue-in-cheek.

And let's not even get into the irony of pretty much giving a serious demonstration of just about *every* trait that's been mentioned in this thread

Add some INFJ's don't like feedback unless it's been stamped and approved in format, size and content to the fucking list. Tertiary TI for the fucking win.


Can we close this fucking whine fest already? I think it would be in everybody's best interest, at this point.

That's a lie. Everybody loves entps
Well except for that mob outside my house

 

[EcK]

TI for the fucking win.

Agreed

 

[skimpit]

[MENTION=19719]Forever[/MENTION]: My mom's an INJ and likes children. So she says. Because she works with small children all the time. Childhood education is what degree she got, and her low tolerance for bull shows in how over the years she's slowly crept to the higher grades. What I'm saying is that she started out with the youngins, so it's not uncommon.

Also, this is called the hate an INFJ thread. I logged on just to say this. It's not "hate all INFJs" or "hate those people" thread. If people misconstrue it as a hate thread, that's their fault. Hate threads are easily banned on like every forum, and this is obviously a storytelling type of thing. Then, just maybe, it'd be witchhunting. But it's not right now.

Now let me go find the INTJ version of this so I don't have to explode into tears.