[INFJ] Hate an INFJ? Tell us why!

[Forever]

Well if all I learned from this thread, I can apparently turn people on with no effort. Ok. My job here is done.

 

[Kelly777]

Condescending is the word.

My mother and I got into some disagreements a few years ago. She ended up telling me that I was "uppity". I was pissed at her for two years and seriously had no idea what she was talking about. I think, for me, that comes from intuiting what would be good for someone and getting frustrated when that person doesn't want to listen. I can understand that it can come off as condescending. I have to laugh at myself when I sound uppity now

 

[Forever]

 

[applebell]

Sample size: 12 typed INFJs
INFJs are both stubbornly adherent to an emotionally based value system and hypocritical in their implementation of said value system. Their emotional manipulation is used to enhance their internal vision of themselves as inherently special. However they do this in a harmful manner that few other mbti types are able to pick up on and thus leave a trail of damage behind them. They claim to care deeply for others and yet what they value the most is the perpetuation of their glorified self image and emotional value system. If this self image must come at the expense of others, so be it but they will use their skills of manipulation to make themselves appear in the right. They are inherently selfish, and are far too stubborn and insecure to see it. They are insecure and thus overcompensate by blaming their flaws on others. They always find their FastTrack speech and imagined path to the moral highground despite its utter fiction. Their utter selfishness keeps them from seeing and admitting the harm they do unto others and they rather focus on their own internal suffering feeling themselves to be some sort of sacrificing martyr. Over time I have seen time and time again that the major quality which holds them from any realm of self improvement is the combination of insecurity and overgrown pride to compensate. The stubborn inability to see themselves as they are, ie not blessed with superhuman abilities and rather one of us lowly humans, keeps them from accepting justified criticism and actually progressing in their growth. Their emotional manipulation and self obsessed suffering allow a potent combination that helps deter all self improvement because it evokes confused sympathy of those they emotionally manipulate. Even the most skilled emotional players of Myers Briggs fall prey to their manipulation. It is unfortunate and I hope I come across Infjs who would be deemed mature and on the path of self actualization of their psychological type. Unfortunately I have not and have seen the trail of psychological damage left in their "suffering martyr" exit paths leaving people hurt and believing the infjs insecurities and flaws are their own. Thankfully they are relatively simple to spot since a simple statement undermining their belief that they are unique unclassifiable superbeings suffering all of humanity's ails for us heathens who do not know how will prompt quick and decisive rebuttal from an infj. Hence easily avoided.


However I do retain some hope of encountering an INFJ mature enough to move beyond their pride and see their desires as they are. They are not inherently bad desires but implemented in a manipulative way causes great damage. Additionally I am aware they do not intend harm which they deserve due credit for. However the refusal to see themselves as they are and be honest with themselves leads to unnecessary drama and hurt.

 

[Amargith]

This. ^^^^^^^ Damn it. It's true though.

interesting.. I have the opposite reaction. I like Infjs but one hint of condescension and im out the door.
how does that work for you?

 

[Lord Lavender]

Not a confirmed INFJ but someone i believe to be INFJ. I disliked them (Hate is a strong word) as they were passive aggressive, had a heavy maytar complex (For instance I would kindly offer to do work then she would say its "okay" then passively aggressively complain about how much other people always make her do everything even when others offer to help). She was also in general a grumpy and moody person. On the other hand my mother is an INFJ and we get on very well so it is the person not the type.

 

[skimpit]

I read Amargith's user-name as 'ermergerd'

Anyway, I've only known one INFJ so far in my life. She wasn't nice, nor particularly rude. She was somewhere in between. She had her obsessions, and once she delved into them you couldn't get her out. I understand they like to follow one path and stay focused, but this was a little unfair considering I had just gotten over some major insecurities and anxiety, and figured she'd like me better after I was a nicer person to deal with. But no, she still kept to her phone and would avoid me like the plague. I tried everything to talk to her, to get in her head, but it wouldn't work. To this day I'm not entirely sure if she was truly INFJ, I thought her more extroverted, but a lot of the things she said certainly sounded NF.

So basically, I didn't hate her, but I was always slightly afraid she'd hurt me. (Keep in mind I don't type everyone INFJ who I think is a manipulative meanie, but she seemed to have it double. . .)

The INFJs I've come across on this forum seem nice. Granted, I think only a few are correctly typed so there's that. But the ones who are don't seem awful. If anything, they're as quirky, sarcastic and strange as is expected of the type.

 

[Riva]

Too bored to find out whether i have already contributed to this thread. Hopey what i say next wouldnt contradict my previous post in this thread if i had any.

I dont see any reason to hate infps (and isfps). What i dislike most in others - in addition to back stabbing, lying, ass kissing and others sociopathic tendencies which are hated by most - are disgusting bullies and people who ride high horses.

Ifps are neither of those. I havent even seen them being much passive aggressive.

I havent associated or recall associating infps close enough to comment on this - maybe they have the undependable issue commonly seen in intps? If they do, there you go. That would be a reason to hate you guys.

 

[Rebeka]

no doubts, they are the healers of thw world

 

[ceecee]

no doubts, they are the healers of thw world

Sure. When they aren't in the corner crying about the current state of the world.

 

[Rebeka]

I'm liking you all DDDDD

 

[INTerran]

Well...my mother has called me arrogant, selfish, cold, unfriendly, prideful, etc...but that is really just because she doesn't understand my need to NOT talk many times. She says that I come across as rude and condescending, but I am truly not trying to be that way...I just don't want to do all the idle chit chat, how's the weather BS, especially if I do not know the person that well.

 

[thoughtlost]

Hmm, I think that the condescending INFJs (the more blatant ones) are the 4w5s. Once you get to know them, you'll realize that they truly do not value others ...yet they talk to you anyway instead of going full-on snob and ignoring you. They approach you with the air of knowing they are better (however they define it).

That's the part that doesn't make sense to me. They talk to me even as they know/think I am beneath them. I think that's rude. Well, I guess I understand why they talk to me. They literally forced to talk to people who are less than them because no one is better than them... so they'd be lonely if they ignored everyone. I wish they would ignore me because I hate that they think they are better than me (which is fine because there are skills they have that I don't have such not being so absent-minded, but what really grates me is that they devalue the aspects that I am good at just so they remain superior).

And this is NOT because they are introverted/don't talk a lot/keep to themselves. That's more an INFP thing (or simply an introvert thing mostly). INFJs truly will tell you to your face that they realize that they are better than everyone (including their closest friends) and tell you that they don't think that your perspective matters to them. And then they'll go on a rant about their perspective because it is "oh so important and it should matter to everyone but it doesn't".

I don't want to change them (because you legitimately cannot ...they will die being superior and even after death they will be superior still), but I at least hope that they can be sympathetic/understanding to the fact that it doesn't feel good to be with someone who thinks they are better than them. As long as they understand that ...that's fine. I can tolerate it.

Interestingly, 4w3 INFJs are not as bad since they seek external validation on some level. But with a 4w5, they totally make you feel like the only reason why they are friends with you is for a really shitty reason, whatever that reason may be.

 

[INTerran]

I happen to be a 9w1 INFJ. The labels that she puts on me stem from me not fitting in to what she would like me to fit into I think. I definitely don't see myself as better than others. And I truly don't try to be rude or condescending. I am quiet and reserved though. And I do need more time than typical to recharge, especially if I'm stressed, tired, or have been in overly social environments. I'm a preschool teacher, so I literally talk all day long, and sometimes just don't want to talk. I am actually pretty close to the middle of INFJ/INTJ though, so maybe I do unintentionally coming across as that way. :/

 

[anticlimatic]

The worst thing I can say about INFJs is that their appeal has diminishing returns. They really lead with their best foot, so the more you get to know them, the more their projected facade- and worse, their projected depth, becomes more and more transparent. So the less interesting they become, the less trustworthy and valuable your relationship with them becomes, and so on and so on.

It's a pleasant and entertaining fakeness initially, but they really are "as fake as plastic dogshit" as an INTJ friend of mine with INFJ room mates puts it.

 

[EcK]

LOL. Like I know any INFJs well enough to hate them.

Actually, I don't believe I hate anyone.

Well sure, but the people you DID hate have a way of dissapearing, don't they.

 

[EcK]

Infjs are fine. I mean don't take me wrong they tend to be over-caring dorks but hey. That's what hair ruffling is for.

Cat ladies are more concerning [MENTION=5494]Amargith[/MENTION]

 

[Merced]

Here's a bad experience with an INFJ, since this is a hate thread:
INFJ: You aren't an ENFP because you seem really judging to me.
Me: Judging isn't a function, could you elaborate?
INFJ: What do you mean functions? You are just more J than P.
Me: Yeah but that's not how it works.
INFJ: But I'm an ENFP and you are nothing like me so you can't be an ENFP.
Me: That's also not how it fucking works.
INFJ: See? That's your problem. You can never accept being wrong. Just admit you're an ENFJ.

The few people I know irl who know anything about MBTI constantly try to mistype me and other people because they follow that dumb fucking chart thing-y with the E vs I, N vs S, T vs F, P vs J bastardization and it pisses me off so much. "But you're social and really friendly so you have to be an ExFJ." Fuck you and fuck Fe.

 

[EcK]

Here's a bad experience with an INFJ, since this is a hate thread:
INFJ: You aren't an ENFP because you seem really judging to me.
Me: Judging isn't a function, could you elaborate?
INFJ: What do you mean functions? You are just more J than P.
Me: Yeah but that's not how it works.
INFJ: But I'm an ENFP and you are nothing like me so you can't be an ENFP.
Me: That's also not how it fucking works.
INFJ: See? That's your problem. You can never accept being wrong. Just admit you're an ENFJ.

The few people I know irl who know anything about MBTI constantly try to mistype me and other people because they follow that dumb fucking chart thing-y with the E vs I, N vs S, T vs F, P vs J bastardization and it pisses me off so much. "But you're social and really friendly so you have to be an ExFJ." Fuck you and fuck Fe.

That dumb chart is how mbti works - though lf course it's a self assessment. Except if you have a specific dumb information chart in mind.

 

[Merced]

That dumb chart is how mbti works - though lf course it's a self assessment. Except if you have a specific dumb information chart in mind.

I'm talking about this shit:

Because that isn't how MBTI types work.