[INFJ] Hate an INFJ? Tell us why!

[anticlimatic]

That's a lie. Everybody loves entps
Well except for that mob outside my house

For some reason I find ENTPs almost indistinguishable from INFJs, except that ENTPs turn into toddlers when they don't get their way while INFJs turn into tweens.

 

[Nico_D]

Detecting even the smallest changes in someone's mood, attitude, etc... that powerful ability of yours INFJs, don't use it on me. Feeling vulnerable whenever I'm around you guys is exhausting.

Want to come take it away? Please do.

 

[Betty Blue]

some are mighty awesome

 

[Dreamer]

Hmm, haven't dealt with INFJs personally much so I can't say I have any complaints about them specifically, though one area I can see potentially troublesome for me in dealing with them, is if there is no effort on the INFJ end to keep their Ni/Ti in check. Having a subjective function to bring logic to a subjective processing network such as Ni, to me, seems like a recipe for conspiracy beliefs and outlandish inclinations (a possibility, just to clarify). So just a question to the INFJs out there since I do not process things as you do, how do you keep your intuitions and hunches in check, or keep it reality based just enough, to know when an intuition or thought has gone awry or may be off?

In comparison, by nature, Ne is externalized and requires a sounding board to bounce ideas off others at some point, so it helps keep the subjectivity of Si and Fi in a more reality based realm of understanding. Not to mention, the thinking function is also externalized so it uses a commonly understand sense of logic and understanding to externalize thoughts.

I ask because I've had to keep my brother's Ni in check during our dad's ordeal. He was starting to come to some loopy conclusions and getting himself worked up by tangling his emotions and stress with it all. He's not INFJ but an Ni dom.

Of course... I have my own loopy ideas, but they stem from other things.

 

[Fidelia]

Fe is what balances out Ni. I think having an enfj mother and also being in a Fe heavy profession was very grounding for me. When I'm really upset and discombobulated or really stressed, my Ni can lead me to worry about stupid possibilities, especially if there is no one who can give me more solid information or feedback.

 

[Fidelia]

These are some pitfalls that I could see would be annoying about me.

- Wish to mother or give advice.
- Not talking about stuff in process that is still vulnerable, but sharing insights from past problems.
- Being bad at ending conversations or being a bit bland unless all the stars align correctly.
- Not taking many chances socially, leading to either an incorrect impression, or only showing the parts that I feel are competent. Message is that it's not okay to be imperfect.
- not great at laughing at myself, particularly in front of people. Easily embarrassed.
- annoyingly earnest. Not a big light-hearted fun mode.
- often too monologuey about subjects I'm excited about or too quiet in other settings.
- high horsey when affronted.
- unaware of the intensity level of certain emotions till they've overflowed. Tend to under express.
- avoidance of situations where I am going to feel upset at someone. Always trying to anticipate problems and avoid them rather than learning to roll with them.
- under expressing my opinion,especially in group settings or where I think others will disagree.
- apologizing too much.
- need emotional reassurance that nothing between me and other person has changed. Take negative emotion a bit personally.
- too perfectionistic, and then I procrastinate.

I am more aware of these and other problems than I once was, and I think am getting somewhat better, but I can see how it could be frustrating to deal with.

 

[Dreamer]

Fe is what balances out Ni. I think having an enfj mother and also being in a Fe heavy profession was very grounding for me. When I'm really upset and discombobulated or really stressed, my Ni can lead me to worry about stupid possibilities, especially if there is no one who can give me more solid information or feedback.

Ahh I see I see. Mmm yes, makes sense. Thank you!

As I mentioned, I can come to some loopy insights if I allow myself, and I think that usually ends up from a misreading of someone caused by Ne/Fi, and unless I press further to verify or disprove any quick judgements made, I can come to some extensive psychoanalysis of someone that all stemmed from one misstep or short sightedness. Usually though, it's in the favor of the other person as I can be way too forgiving and give them the benefit of a doubt by default. I've gotten bitten more than a few times by people in the past because of this

 

[entropie]

 

[EcK]

For some reason I find ENTPs almost indistinguishable from INFJs, except that ENTPs turn into toddlers when they don't get their way while INFJs turn into tweens.

Manly toddlers

 

[Galaxy Gazer]

I've met really chill, awesome INFJs and obnoxious INFJs.

What the "obnoxious" ones did that irritated me:

-One in particular would constantly make statements like "I don't judge people" and "you shouldn't generalize" while actually judging people very frequently for not sharing her worldview.

-I've found some of them to be pretty patronizing toward people in the same social group as them, like they were the golden-hearted social butterfly helping the shy outcast reach their full potential. Then again, I've noticed this even more so with ENFJs, but still.

-I've noticed that many of them have a sort of fixture on structure and authority, and seem to side with whoever is in charge even when they are being unfair.

-I'm not sure if this is true for all INFJs, but several of the ones I've met have mentioned disliking/hating certain people who had obvious issues, because they were "disruptive" or "disrespectful" or "annoying." That always seemed unfair and wrong, in my opinion.

-How they generally think they're "enlightened" or "awake" compared to others. Just because someone has differing opinions doesn't mean they're less spiritually healthy, or whatever.

 

[EcK]

You people do realize that infjs are like 1% of the population right?
So half of the people there who've been close friends with like 5 infjs are getting at least half of those mistyped or are seriously telling us they know - on average - around 500 people well enough to type them.

except if they happen to meet these infjs on a typology site I mean.
That's akin to people having strong opinions about 'several people' they know IRL with iqs over 140. Which is 1/260 people. So except if they happened to be in a 'bright kids' class growing up it's kind of unlikely.

So more often than not it's just going to be people being plain wrong or 1 negative experience being pluralized to give it legitimacy. Lots of people will, for example, confuse isfjs for infjs despite the two being quite different creatures.

 

[Forever]

You people do realize that infjs are like 1% of the population right?
So half of the people there who've been close friends with like 5 infjs are getting at least half of those mistyped or are seriously telling us they know - on average - around 500 people well enough to type them.

except if they happen to meet these infjs on a typology site I mean.
That's akin to people having strong opinions about 'several people' they know IRL with iqs over 140. Which is 1/260 people. So except if they happened to be in a 'bright kids' class growing up it's kind of unlikely.

So more often than not it's just going to be people being plain wrong or 1 negative experience being pluralized to give it legitimacy. Lots of people will, for example, confuse isfjs for infjs despite the two being quite different creatures.

Didn't you know everyone on this site lives on Times Square?

 

[thepink-cloakedninja]

Does hating yourself count?

 

[Forever]

Does hating yourself count?

If you're correctly typed, then yes

 

[thepink-cloakedninja]

You people do realize that infjs are like 1% of the population right?
So half of the people there who've been close friends with like 5 infjs are getting at least half of those mistyped or are seriously telling us they know - on average - around 500 people well enough to type them.

except if they happen to meet these infjs on a typology site I mean.
That's akin to people having strong opinions about 'several people' they know IRL with iqs over 140. Which is 1/260 people. So except if they happened to be in a 'bright kids' class growing up it's kind of unlikely.

So more often than not it's just going to be people being plain wrong or 1 negative experience being pluralized to give it legitimacy. Lots of people will, for example, confuse isfjs for infjs despite the two being quite different creatures.

Well, one explanation for knowing lots of INFJs is if one gravitates to social circles that attracts lots of INFJs, such as writing groups/conferences. Someone put together a poll for an international writing group I'm a member of and INFJs (according to the poll) make up 19.1% of the writing group, followed by INFPs at 14.61% Though this is only of members who took the poll, which probably did not include all members, and there are other things that could mess up the accuracy of the poll such as the hypothetical possibility that INFJs are more likely to participate in personality polls.

 

[Forever]

Well, one explanation for knowing lots of INFJs is if one gravitates to social circles that attracts lots of INFJs, such as writing groups/conferences. Someone put together a poll for an international writing group I'm a member of and INFJs (according to the poll) make up 19.1% of the writing group, followed by INFPs at 14.61% Though this is only of members who took the poll, which probably did not include all members, and there are other things that could mess up the accuracy of the poll such as the hypothetical possibility that INFJs are more likely to participate in personality polls.

MBTI is a very poor psychometric test. It's useful when accurate, but terrible in getting accuracy. Those INFJ's and INFP's could be other types within that sample already.

Idk why people here assume that people get it right the first time.

 

[Galaxy Gazer]

You people do realize that infjs are like 1% of the population right?
So half of the people there who've been close friends with like 5 infjs are getting at least half of those mistyped or are seriously telling us they know - on average - around 500 people well enough to type them.

except if they happen to meet these infjs on a typology site I mean.
That's akin to people having strong opinions about 'several people' they know IRL with iqs over 140. Which is 1/260 people. So except if they happened to be in a 'bright kids' class growing up it's kind of unlikely.

So more often than not it's just going to be people being plain wrong or 1 negative experience being pluralized to give it legitimacy. Lots of people will, for example, confuse isfjs for infjs despite the two being quite different creatures.

Except people of the same type or similar types tend to be in the same social groups. I have met 4 definite INFJs (3 of them were really into MBTI for some reason) and I don't know a lot of people. A few years ago, I was surrounded by tons of people who were most likely ESFJs, ESFPs, or ESTPs, but I never really got to know any of them.

 

[thepink-cloakedninja]

MBTI is a very poor psychometric test. It's useful when accurate, but terrible in getting accuracy. Those INFJ's and INFP's could be other types within that sample already.

Idk why people here assume that people get it right the first time.

That is true that typing oneself can be difficult, but if most of them got their type wrong, why did the majority of them flock towards INFJ and INFP when each individual had 15 possible types that weren't their own that they could have gotten? It's a group that attracts INFJs and INFPs because many INFJs and INFPs are novelists, so it makes sense that there's a large amount of them.

 

[Forever]

Except people of the same type or similar types tend to be in the same social groups. I have met 4 definite INFJs (3 of them were really into MBTI for some reason) and I don't know a lot of people. A few years ago, I was surrounded by tons of people who were most likely ESFJs, ESFPs, or ESTPs, but I never really got to know any of them.

Ni doms are independent types though (yeah the F one wants to make people agree with them) but they really distinguish themselves from a group. I don't think it's likely they all chill as one flock. I always use the analogy of Ni doms being beta fish. I had some really rough experiences with other Ni doms (I see one out of years maybe I'm unlucky but yeah)

That is true that typing oneself can be difficult, but if most of them got their type wrong, why did the majority of them flock towards INFJ and INFP when each individual had 15 possible types that weren't their own that they could have gotten? It's a group that attracts INFJs and INFPs because many INFJs and INFPs are novelists, so it makes sense that there's a large amount of them.

That doesn't make sense just because one or two types is the most common result does not make it authentic.
What about the other 14 types? That should raise awareness rather than lessen it.

Do you think NJ and NP types make pop psychology tests exclusively? So you think NJ and NP types are the only type to become novelists? I'm saying those people are mistyped maybe not all of them but a lot of them.

The word choice. Are you introverted or extroverted (introverted is kind of a trend right now) introvert check.
Are you imaginative or realistic? Um of course I'm special Intuitive check. (Everyone believes they're smarter than everyone else)
Are you compassionate? um feeling because I'm not some hard cold ass icy bitch. Feeling check.
Are you disorganized? No I'm not some messy slob. I got my shit together. Judging check.

Tl;dr MBTI has poor word choice.

 

[thepink-cloakedninja]

Ni doms are independent types though (yeah the F one wants to make people agree with them) but they really distinguish themselves from a group. I don't think it's likely they all chill as one flock. I always use the analogy of Ni doms being beta fish. I had some really rough experiences with other Ni doms (I see one out of years maybe I'm unlucky but yeah)



That doesn't make sense just because one or two types is the most common result does not make it authentic.
What about the other 14 types? That should raise awareness rather than lessen it.

Do you think NJ and NP types make pop psychology tests exclusively? So you think NJ and NP types are the only type to become novelists? I'm saying those people are mistyped maybe not all of them but a lot of them.

The word choice. Are you introverted or extroverted (introverted is kind of a trend right now) introvert check.
Are you imaginative or realistic? Um of course I'm special Intuitive check. (Everyone believes they're smarter than everyone else)
Are you compassionate? um feeling because I'm not some hard cold ass icy bitch. Feeling check.
Are you disorganized? No I'm not some messy slob. I got my shit together. Judging check.

Tl;dr MBTI has poor word choice.

I'm sorry but I don't understand your first two statements. Could you rephrase?

Oh no, of course I don't think that NJ and NP types are the only type to become novelists! I said that "many INFJs and INFPs are novelists" not that only INFJs and INFPs are novelists. My two best friends, an ESTJ and ISTJ are both creative writers.

The group took the personality test on 16personalities.com which has no questions phrased like that. The few questions that I could see being a problem are:

"You often get so lost in thought you ignore or forget your surroundings." A writer would often pick this one because a common hallmark of writers is spacing out and imagining new scenes for the current work in progress.

"You consider yourself more practical than creative." My guess would be that most writers would pick creative because a major part of their identity is creative writing so they would be like "of course I'm super creative!!!!"

"An interesting book or video game is often better than a social event." Many many many of the members of this particular writing community are book worms, some having read LOtR about 20 times so yeah, a lot of them probably strongly agreed with this question.

"You rarely get carried away by fantasies and ideas." Most of the members probably disagreed with this one because their favorite hobby is essentially getting carried away by their fantasies and ideas.

"You often get lost in thought while you are walking in nature." Again, writers spacing out and imagining book scenes.

And "You enjoy going to social events that involve dress-up or role-play activities." They all probably strongly agreed with this one because once a year this group has an annual meet up/writers conference, and every day has about 5+ cosplay themes that almost everyone participates in.

So from those questions you would have the preference for intuitives, and one question geared towards introverts.

This is a stereotype, but I would say that the majority of writers are introverts, though I cannot state this without 100% certainty as I've never read any studies on the introvert/extrovert preferences of writers.

As for the feeler preference, good writing has a HUGE emotional component. The goal of a novel is to make the reader emotionally attach to the main character ASAP (though there are exceptions in more experimental novels), so that the reader will keep reading whenever you stick the character in a pickle because he or she wants to find out whether or not the main character will be OK. Good writing also requires the writer to constantly be describing how the main character is feeling, and what the main character is thinking CONSTANTLY. The reader wants to be immersed in the main character's mind, and feel the character's emotions, and so the writer has to always be trying to experience what they imagine the main character is experiencing, so that way the book will be as realistic as possible, and teleport the reader into the character's world.

I've read only one book on the subject of more emotional people becoming readers and writers and have only heard a handful of talks about it, so again, I cannot state that more emotional people are writers with 100% certainty, but I can say with 100% certainty that the majority of writers (writers as in the collective amount of amateur and professional novelists, not just professional novelists because many readers will only read books written by males so male writers often have an easier time being successful as professional novelists) are female due to the emotional component of writing.

So here you have the reason for the large INFX that make up this particular writing group. I cannot say why there are more INFJs than INFPs, though.