[INFP] Question for INFPs - Ideal Mate?

[SpankyMcFly]

I have only been in 3 serious and long term relationships and I'm currently in one, sorta (long story, laff). As such the infos that I can share are based purely on analysis from a distance involving none of the finer nuances you only learn about when you are actually in a relationship with someone.

I found out about MBTI through an online dating website (OKCupid specifically). After discovering MBTI I started paying attention to wether or not people I found interesting had taken the MBTI and what their results were. It became a little game of me trying to guess their type by their profile then comparing that to the results. The following is based purely on information given to me by others in their online profile.

I found INFP's to be the best match by a good margin.
INFJ's came in second.
NT's came in 3rd.

There was only one female that sparked my interest that was not one of the above "types". Turns out she was an ISTJ accountant *boggle*.

P.S. My wife (seperated) is a very lovely ESTP , granted I want to snap her neck at times which she gets a kick out of... but yeah good stuff.

 

[grapesoda]

INTP, I think.

 

[Thessaly]

ENFJ is pretty good, but I wish they weren't so bossy and detail-oriented!

That's just women in general.

 

[Moonflower]

It's hard for me to think about without dividing types into levels. Level 4 are types who I generally love being around and have rarely ever had problems with. Level 1 are people I've never been able connect with at all, and who just have too many traits which aren't compatible with me.

When I mention "Certain Circumstances", I'm talking about people having the known problems with their type under control and not leaking everywhere.



Level 4 - Very Much YES, Any Time At All
ENFP
INFP
ISFP

Level 3 - Definate YES if Certain Circumstances Are Met
INFJ (really on the borderline of Level 3 and 4)
ENFJ
ISTP
ESTP
INTP
INTJ
ENTP

Level 2 - Small Maybe if Certain Circumstances Are Met
ESFP (on the border of Level 2 and 3)
ENTJ
ESFJ
ISFJ

Level 1 - On Another Planet (I've never been able to relate to people on this level in the slightest)
ISTJ
ESTJ

 

[KDude]

One of the most important things for me is that I would like someone to take some of the load of being "Alpha-like" half of the time. I'm not going to live up to someone's vicarious daddy ideal. I admire strength in others myself. I would rather find an equal. Not someone who puts a bunch of pressure to take care of everything and "needs a man" all of the time or insults any of my sensitivities if I'm not Clint Eastwood or something every day of the week. I like women who basically don't care about what men can do for them.

 

[Anew Leaf]

I am a sucker for just about any ENTP

I have found their type to the best mix of intriguing/balance to my own. I don't have to play at being an extravert, I get to be my emotional self, and I get to enjoy their awesome calm and logic.

I just need to find my missing ENTP soulmate

 

[Thessaly]

I hears ya!

 

[xpersephonex]

I seem to be only ever attracted to INxPs, ENTPs (e6) and ENFJs (e4). Its pretty damn consistent...

 

[Elfboy]

I could see an INFP working well with:
1) INTJ
2) ENFP
3) ESFP
4) ENTJ (if you're dealing with a confident INFP and a gentle, caring ENTJ, then it could work and probably have wonderful chemistry)
- I don't know what it is about NFPs and NTJs, but we seem to get things about each other that other types seem to miss (most of the NFPs I know seem much more similar to NTJs than to either NFJs or NTPs
- I don't really see an INFP working well with an FJ. they may look similar on the outside, but they would probably have trouble understanding each other
PS: I don't have a ton of experience with dating and I realize that this is a loose generalization at best, so please feel free to fill me in if I'm missing something

 

[OrangeAppled]

^ I don't get the NFP-NTJ thing actually. I've dated a few INTJs briefly and it was "meh". ENFJs, on the other hand, are like candy to me. Maybe that's not good for long term, but still....there's something natural about it.
I'm dating an INFJ now & there's also a unique connection; we just get each other. I never had that with the INTJs; I always felt like an enigma. Although, I know it could've just been them as individuals.

 

[Elfboy]

^ I don't get the NFP-NTJ thing actually. I've dated a few INTJs briefly and it was "meh". ENFJs, on the other hand, are like candy to me. Maybe that's not good for long term, but still....there's something natural about it.
I'm dating an INFJ now & there's also a unique connection; we just get each other. I never had that with the INTJs; I always felt like an enigma. Although, I know it could've just been them as individuals.

interesting, I've always found that NTJs are the only other type that seems to get me. my NTJ best friend feels the same way about NFPs. NFJs do not get me at all. they think they do and think that I have all the same values as they do...I don't

 

[SpankyMcFly]

Color me in for an INFP/INFP coupling.

Incoming rant:

My current wife is an ESFP. Those SP's have this live and let live attitude and are very irreverant/irrelevant which is fine at times, like when I take life or myself too seriously. Sometimes though I just want someone to validate me or entertain the idea that I might be right in taking something seriously, if only on a conversational/intellectual level. SJ's? HAhaha (falls off chair) This pretty much means no S's for me.

Rant Over.

I think SP's were "created" just to piss in the corn flakes of the SJ's and keep them in check. One group demanding their freedom & independence and the other trying to enforce the rules.

 

[Santosha]

I'm still unconvinced on my E/I pref.. so I'll chime in

I hear INFP-ENFJ pairing is ideal. I've been close friends with two ENFJ's.. lovely people.. could NEVER date one. Fe/Fi clash too strong.

I think that the idea of your opposite with the shared communication style may really be most functional for relations. ENFP-INTJ ... INFP/ENTJ etc.
Unfortunately, there hasn't been many studies on this. We NEED more studies, behaviorists!

The few studies I do find show INFP/ESTJ and INFP/ISTJ as common pairings. Ofcours these studies are often done by groups focusing on relationship problems. MEH.

Edit: Also heard the INTJ-INFP dynamic mentioned a few times.

 

[SpankyMcFly]

The few studies I do find show INFP/ESTJ and INFP/ISTJ as common pairings. Ofcours these studies are often done by groups focusing on relationship problems. MEH.

Edit: Also heard the INTJ-INFP dynamic mentioned a few times.

I'd put money on the fact that they are assuming male T, female F.

 

[Santosha]

I'd put money on the fact that they are assuming male T, female F.

Maybe.

Bottom line, I can't BELIEVE there are not more studies focusing on long-term, happy relation pairings. wtf is that about? There are studies showing that 82% of people prefer their toilet paper to hang over the top instead of under. But life partner? Nah, that's of no importance.......

 

[nolla]

Bottom line, I can't BELIEVE there are not more studies focusing on long-term, happy relation pairings.

That's because they're so hard to find. Statisticians get bored.

 

[Thessaly]

I really dig EPs....EPs never grow up....it's awesome.

 

[SRT]

I'd say an IXFJ for me. maybe ENFJ

 

[Moonflower]

Lately, I've been finding that I've always had a very unique relationships with all the INTJs I know. It feels like I can understand them on a very deep level, even though we approach the world in such different ways.

 

[Anna intuitive]

I've been married for thirty-some years to an ENFP. At this stage I'm really happy I made that choice. It's just so relaxing and I've been able to get on and do things I wanted to do. I knew he would be open to me being a growing person. The downside is that neither of us is particularly practical - he handles the house, and I handle the money and we kind of get by. But the emotional warmth and acceptance is wonderful. Admittedly he's a very sunny ENFP, and that means a lot to me because it balances out my tendency towards dark moods.