[MBTI General] Okay, I am officially confused about myself.

[Fenekk]

I'll be honest - I am rather confident with my typing as INFJ. I have always tested INFJ (in the past, with low J preferences, and now, with higher J and lower N preferences - I attribute that to attempting to develop a more mature view of things as I have moved on into the professional world).

However I don't really understand my extroversion/introversion tendencies. My E/I ratio tends to fluctuate due to the way tests are written. If they are written with the assumption that extroverts want to be around more people, more often, then I test high on introversion. If they assume that extroverts often start conversations, and like to talk, be a part of, and get involved when they are around others, I may get a very low score with introversion (However, generally not enough to be considered an extrovert).

Why does this phenomenon happen? I generally avoid people and social events to a degree that most would call me a recluse. I stay at home and don't like to get out much. Social gatherings exhaust me and I don't understand how some people (like my brother) can be around people ALL THE TIME. However, when I am a part of said social gatherings (often not by choice), I can go as far as to initiate conversation (though I usually am rather talkative as a receiver and listener), get things going, push people to action. I also am highly optimistic and enjoy making jokes. (I am also often this way on the internet, partially because people respond better to me and I don't get exhausted nearly as easily.)

I think the reason that I am talkative in social situations is that I am attempting to use my "extroversion" to control and order people with my Judging side. I want to get things going, so I take it upon myself sometimes to motivate people to action. Also, I think it might be that I am trying to gather information about them by pushing them to reveal themselves, as well. Especially with introverts, I have noticed that I automatically nudge them to participate, even individually sometimes. I will sometimes call someone out if they aren't participating. Also, my Judging side gets even stronger when I am around predominantly Perceiving people. I am a freelance artist who often works with other artists, and I frequently feel like I have to match my Perceiving boss's ratio. I fix his spelling and grammar errors, encourage him to make progress, etc... His motto may be "We need to make some progress every time we meet" but I feel like he needs to expand it to "We need to make some WORTHWHILE progress every time we meet." It can get frustrating for me working with people who are slower to make decisions and move forward.

Is my insight into this completely crazy? I have considered it for a while and it makes sense to me, however, I am curious as to whether it makes sense to others who may be more experienced with this material than I am.

 

[Expanding]

Its comforting to know that im not alone in the infj social exhaustion!

 

[angell_m]

Perhaps you're one of few who are very close to 50/50 on everything? My N/S and F/T fluctuate all the time, but I'm still base INFP.

 

[Fenekk]

Nah, actually I usually come up pretty far in INF; J is the only one that is close, usually within 10 points (assuming 50 is straight down the middle). You'd think I would get a higher extroversion score too, but I don't...

 

[Abstract Thinker]

Nah, actually I usually come up pretty far in INF; J is the only one that is close, usually within 10 points (assuming 50 is straight down the middle). You'd think I would get a higher extroversion score too, but I don't...

As for J & P... here's how I see it:

Do you obey the law because it's the law (J), or because it's the right thing to do. (P)?

 

[Fenekk]

Yeah, I have that wonderful "I agree with both" thing going on there.

However my methods of communication are primarily directive, for sure, which is very J.

Other things I have noticed in research (only concerning INFJ vs INFP) is that INFP is slow to action, and needs as much information as possible, whereas J is quick to action, and works with what they have. I don't gather a lot of information before I make decisions, and if I end up with more information, I alter my decision/ideas to fit it.

Conflict-wise, INFP stays in the middle of things and gathers more information in attempts to work them out. INFJ gets the hell out of there and spends time away from it to work it out. I can provide a recent example of this with me - I have been working a project that had an issue that I could not seem to make out, however, it was a glaring flaw. I couldn't concentrate with that mistake right in front of my face. I had to actually close it down and stop for a while to give myself some time to think about what went wrong and how I could fix it.

But yeah, I don't feel like I am mistyped at all. Just that a few things about me don't really fit in too well with the INFJ archetype - well, we aren't only 16 different types of robots after all, I suppose. I'm mostly trying to work out what it might be specifically that causes these different behaviors or tendencies.

 

[Abstract Thinker]

^ Well-said, and it's perfectly okay to be balanced on some (or all) fronts. I actually envy that sometimes.

 

[Seymour]

I suspect you have some preferences on Te vs Ti and Fe vs Fi. Those might be a better place to start rather than a global "J vs P" question.

 

[Fenekk]

Maybe so, but... the question wasn't about J vs P... It was rather about "am I possibly using my J in a way that makes me seem E?"

So which is it that you think I prefer between Te/Ti and Fe/Fi?

 

[Seymour]

Maybe so, but... the question wasn't about J vs P... It was rather about "am I possibly using my J in a way that makes me seem E?"

So which is it that you think I prefer between Te/Ti and Fe/Fi?

I certainly think it's possible you extravert your judging function (meaning that perhaps your preferred judging function is external and your preferred perceiving function is internal). I was suggesting reading descriptions of Te vs Ti and Fe vs Fi in order to narrow things down a bit. It sounds like you believe you extravert judging, so if so, do you extravert Thinking or Feeling? You might also find the interaction styles helpful in narrowing down your type.

I think that social extraversion and introversion are pretty highly contextual. There is a point at which all but the most extreme extravert will become a quiet observer and a point at which all but the most extreme introvert will crave stimulation. Finding that dividing line can be difficult.

Even as an INFP I have situations in which I have had enough and will take charge if no one else will. So, I think you just have to compare yourself to the other people in your life (as best you can), and see what functions you identify with the most. I do think type is ultimately all about the functions, and reading over them is very helpful in determining type.

Probably this is not quite as specific as you were looking for.

 

[Fenekk]

I've also had the thought before that it could be something like a social reaction to certain situations. I never do this in large groups. I almost never call attention to myself on purpose in a large group, even often in a classroom. I am a lot more extroverted around people I am familiar with. Also, these behaviors of extroversion where I mention that I may sometimes start off to encourage people or try to get something initiated only show up in small groups, especially in a situation where I have to work in a group in a school setting. And I don't exactly jump to it, either - I wait until I am sure nobody else is going to do anything.

So maybe I am just taking this too seriously and thinking it's a bigger deal than it really is - especially now that I am seriously thinking about it, and realizing that it isn't a natural thing for me, but more like a reflex in certain situations, where I am usually sighing inwardly and internally chastising the other people for not doing anything.

Okay, and maybe it's as simple as exercising my Fe. Yeah, maybe. But I am definitely Ti. Te? Yech!