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[INFJ] Care and feeding of an INFJ

mochajava

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Jul 28, 2010
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475
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INFJ
All of the profile sites say that life is hard for the INFJ. Here's 404 Not Found
Life is not necessarily easy for the INFJ, but they are capable of great depth of feeling and personal achievement.

When you're withdrawing from extreme giving/social activity/exhaustion/burnout, what are you doing? What revives and replenishes you? How do you spend your time? :workout: or :hug: or :headphne:?

I'm new to this forum :hi: (joined 7/28), but it's already helped me immensely.
 
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Phantonym

Guest
The small things help me the most when I feel like cocooning from the world. Music, sleep, books, movies, fresh air, exercise, the combo of all those. Things that get my creative juices flowing in a way that I can distract my mind so that I would have constructive thoughts that get things resolved.

I'm the one who makes my life hard for myself the most. Personally, I think it's pointless to blame outside factors, I can't escape getting caught with my thoughts and I end up in a static loop.
 

mochajava

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Jul 28, 2010
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Thanks, Sky is BLUE! How much withdrawn/me-time do you think serves you best? Do you do these things on a daily basis? My thoughts can make my life sad / difficult sometimes too... I think for me, I've only recently realized I have "INFJ-needs" and let myself withdraw when I need to. It's marvelous though. My "Ni" has come out and work with beautiful results. This forum, and people like you, are helping me with that ina big way so thank you!

-writing
-blogging
-exercise, particularly something like boxing or weightlifting
-novels
-reading
-novels. more novels. novels in bed. novels outdoors. novels at coffeeshops.
-coffeeshops.
-journaling
-nature, hiking
-cooking and listening to folk music
-folk music
-cuddling w/ my hubby
 

Tiltyred

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I was thinking about this today and wondering if it has to do with type. Speaking of folk music, I like to put on music that I like to sing to, and sing while doing hand sewing. Very simple sewing, just blanket stitch or blind stitch, nothing complicated. I spent about 12 hours doing that this weekend and it was really good for me. Ironing is good for that, too, but I like sewing best. What is that about?

P.S. There's a movie called Seraphine about a French woman who was a maid/laundress and an artist. Here's the wiki about her:
Séraphine Louis - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia
She was mentally ill, so that skews things, but during the scenes when she was painting, I felt right there with her. She painted and sang.
 

Sailboat

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Joined
Jul 11, 2010
Messages
69
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INFJ
Write, listen to music, dream, paint, play piano, bake, organize, drive, watch movies, go out in nature.

I like to sing while I do things, too :)
 

mmhmm

meinmeinmein!
Joined
Jul 6, 2010
Messages
2,280
i hang out with a male infj.

when he's not being incredibly sugary sweet,
he's hiking in the hills. has this wonderful
child like innocence about him. loves to see
loves to explore.

when he recharges alone, and comes back to
tell me about it, it's always such a joy to listen
to his adventures.
 

Horrible Aesthete

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Like others here, I write, watch films, commune with nature, and spend a ridiculous amount of time on the internet. More often than not, I accomplish absolutely nothing more profound than randomly searching out interesting videos on youtube, or posting little rants like this one. I feel that, for me at least, it is less about what I am doing, and more about the solitude. It is that simple, I need ample amounts of time to myself; just me and my thoughts. I need to be away from other humans, all other humans.

I do enjoy writing as more than a distraction, however, and I need unconstrained time to myself to accomplish this. "Me time" does nothing for my internal well-being if it is constrained by an impending deadline. It is a fine line, the need for solitude, and the underlying need for companionship that inevitably crops up.
 

mochajava

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Jul 28, 2010
Messages
475
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INFJ
Tiltyred:
I was thinking about this today and wondering if it has to do with type. Speaking of folk music, I like to put on music that I like to sing to, and sing while doing hand sewing. Very simple sewing, just blanket stitch or blind stitch, nothing complicated. I spent about 12 hours doing that this weekend and it was really good for me. Ironing is good for that, too, but I like sewing best. What is that about?

I think the repetitive motion is calming and comforting. I like knitting scarves a lot. I used to do it all day, throughout classes and meetings when I was 17 or 18. Quirky, sure, but it calmed me and helped my concentration so much.

Have you seen the movie Eat, Drink, Man, Woman? There is so much in this movie that's expressed through cooking - huge, beautiful, drawn out scenes of it. Not instructional like a cooking show. Sensual. I just find watching someone do something with intense focus (even someone shaving very carefully) to be really comforting and beautiful. This movie is a good example of that for me.

It's good to hear of everyone's re-charging activities and that I'm simply not alone in not wanting to go out to noisy boisterous things often.
 

SilkRoad

Lay the coin on my tongue
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I read a lot...a lot. I have certain "comfort reading" books that might be particularly good if I need to recharge - often children's books that I've loved since I was 11 or so.

If I go out to do something when I'm in that mental/emotional place where I need recharging, it might be to an art gallery or classical music concert or something.

And, having dinner with a good friend or a few good friends can help a lot. But unfortunately, if I'm burned out because of a lot of emotional stress or whatever, I may mainly need to allow a lot of time to go by before I will really feel much better.
 

whatusername

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Aug 3, 2009
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I can actually tell when I'm feeling stressed or burnt out: I write more. That, and I become more quiet, withdraw physically or emotionally (if physical detachment is not allowed), only to come back energized.

Time alone is usually spent reading, listening to good music (at least music I prefer).
 

ItsAGuy

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Aug 6, 2010
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All of the profile sites say that life is hard for the INFJ. Here's http://www.personalitypage.com/INFJ.html:


When you're withdrawing from extreme giving/social activity/exhaustion/burnout, what are you doing? What revives and replenishes you? How do you spend your time? :workout: or :hug: or :headphne:?

I'm new to this forum :hi: (joined 7/28), but it's already helped me immensely.

Edit: misread the post; so I will re-answer. I find that a lot of the other replies reflect my own male-infjness. I enjoy getting away... from everyone. Hence, wilderness. Mountaintops, hiking, a roadtrip. I even delve into the more creative aspects like writing (put away a 125000 word novel last year... but it needs editing desperately.)

The one thing is, without something to come back to, I find I have no energy even to go out and recharge.
 

mochajava

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Jul 28, 2010
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Love that I'm in the company of fellow readers/writers. Btw, if you have a blog and want another reader/commenter -- I'm in :)

@SilkRoad - This makes so much sense to me. I like reading books with a lot of emotions on the page (like Obama's autobiographical books) because it means not having to play out my own. Maybe... an art gallery sounds fantastic right now.

@whatusername - What do you write? Journals, fiction, blog?

Everyone -- how can you tell when you're burnt out? How do you prevent it?

Me: I switch from dressing 'nice' to dressing 'down'. The old jeans, flip-flops will all come out. I don't want to work as many hours. I start going for extremely long runs. I keep my schedule very light, even when it comes to fun things. I have a feeling I'll cancel social engagement, or at least I dread them (they often turn out to be fun).

Mountaintops, hiking, a roadtrip.

Let's go!
 

ItsAGuy

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Love that I'm in the company of fellow readers/writers. Btw, if you have a blog and want another reader/commenter -- I'm in :)

Pff, haha... I'm currently designing some blog software from the ground up... my crush, an ISFJ, is doing a drawing of me to be used in the final layout when it is done. The whole point of the darn thing is to get me to learn a new programming language, and then use it to write short stories, whine and bitch about politics and environmentalism, post my photography, and gush over my talented friends. It'll be a while before it's done since i've little time left over after my dayjob.
 

ItsAGuy

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Everyone -- how can you tell when you're burnt out? How do you prevent it?

I've been burnted out for so long, I don't even know how to answer the question. I'm trying personal projects that may eventually some day wrest me from my job and maybe win me a little attention from other humangs, but my energy level for it is so low that progress is slow at best. I find I dive into bouts of Oblivion (the game, not the state of being) or Dwarf Fortress when I reaaally need to stick my brain on something other than myself.
 

entropie

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Feeding the predator [the uncut view on things by an entp]

Dear diary,

today my infj has come up with a new idea. Now she doesnt want to study medicine, tho she already applied for it and we went thru all the paperwork, today she wants to go into economics and tho I didnt tell her that involves a lot of math what she doesnt like, she nevertheless got pissed at me about something else ( this time it was the way I hang the towel in the bathroom ).

In the morning she was all happy and totally driving me crazy with her excitement and after midday she was deep-down depressed. She decided that she wants to go on a roadtrip this evening, tho we are totally broke atm and since we just were in a climbing course last weekend I thought to maybe point that out, what ended in more troubles. :)

I then cooked for her and she was happy again.

Later on she told me about a problem her best friend had, she was deeply involved in the feelings ( of another person ) and with me being a kinda reactive person, it dragged my own mood down thru the floor. Glad we already talked about that and she knows when it happens.

Dear diary,

feeding the irrational mood swings, ideas and feelings about life of my infj sometimes is like:

[YOUTUBE="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EQ94JSw2_-c&feature=related"].[/YOUTUBE]

but does not feeding it really make up for not sharing this passionate, affectionate and insightful life of living, the onness I have with this person ?

Hell no !! :D
 

SilkRoad

Lay the coin on my tongue
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@SilkRoad - This makes so much sense to me. I like reading books with a lot of emotions on the page (like Obama's autobiographical books) because it means not having to play out my own. Maybe... an art gallery sounds fantastic right now.

...

Everyone -- how can you tell when you're burnt out? How do you prevent it?


Let's go!

I was so stressed for months over the winter and I was just reading like a maniac. Even more than usual, and that's saying a lot. I like children's books and especially children's fantasy because I find them both escapist and comforting.

I'm fortunate to live in a city with some of the greatest cultural riches in the world on my doorstep. When I go to one of the great galleries and stand in front of a favourite painting, everything always makes a bit more sense and I feel calmer and comforted.

I can tell that I'm getting burnt out when I start thinking that I want to take people-hating classes and that sort of thing :( At the moment, I'm thinking I need to: take one step at a time for the stuff I need to get done (there's a lot right now, all of it at least somewhat stressful), and step away from difficult people issues in my life. See that thread about people unloading on you and not caring :(
 

cafe

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I hide in my room and read, avoiding social contact as much as possible. If I am too busy or I'm not left to recharge, I usually end up getting sick and then it takes longer to re-enter the land of the living, so to speak. When I have underlying stressors (like right now our livelihood is unstable) I have less tolerance for other stuff and fall into the hermit funk much easier.

I get harebrained schemes all the time about what I want to do for my second career, but truthfully, I'd rather not have to have one. When I've worked before, I've usually not minded most of the work, but the people --- eep! I'm always getting my feelings hurt or getting angry about how people treat each other (or me). I just can't resignedly accept that that's just how people are and ignore. I'd be so much happier if I could. I find we are rather an obnoxious species in general, but I can't quite give up on us.
 

whatusername

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Love that I'm in the company of fellow readers/writers. Btw, if you have a blog and want another reader/commenter -- I'm in :)

@whatusername - What do you write? Journals, fiction, blog?

Everyone -- how can you tell when you're burnt out? How do you prevent it?

I actually don't write fiction. I find the creation of another world to be a stressful undertaking, which is why I have huge respect for good fictionists.

I write poetry; I like its compact nature, I like how, instead of a world, I just get to create a place, or an event. It's something I don't get to do often nowadays, because of work, but I do it whenever I can.

I do write in my journal longhand, I bring it with me wherever I go (a cliche, I know...) Images, random sentences, questions, it's the very definition of spontaneous writing, which is most helpful to an INFJ brain, I guess.

Like I said earlier, when I find myself writing more than usual, I know there's something there. Usually, I can't tell when I am en route to burning out, I usually discover it after the fact. :doh:
 

Aquarelle

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Jun 16, 2010
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I need a looooot of alone time. Since my husband works a swing shift and I work a normal 8-4, I get a lot of alone time, but unevenly spaced out over the month. My months typically look like this:
Week 1: Husband works day shift and has weekend off. I get no alone time.
Week 2: Husband works night shift. I get semi-alone time from about 8-3 on Saturday and Sunday while he sleeps. So about 14 hours of alone time.
Week 3: Husband has a couple days off and then works afternoon shift (2:30-10:30pm). I get alone time in the evenings on weekdays and all afternoon/evening on weekends. So about 35 hours of alone time.
Week 4: Husband has a couple days left of afternoons, a couple days off, then starts day shift again. I get about 29 hours of alone time.

Usually by the time afternoon shift comes along, I am SOOOO ready for alone time that I can't wait. Then by the end of afternoon shift, I really miss my husband and am ready for day shift. :tongue:

When I have alone time, I like to watch TV, usually reruns of Star Trek or something like that, or work on one of my various projects (scrapbooking, sewing, etc). Also read, play on the internet, practice my flute, or even run errands or clean. I love to sing while I am running errands or cleaning.
 

mochajava

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Jul 28, 2010
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Whatusername:
I bring it with me wherever I go (a cliche, I know...)

Apparently you write couplets too! I see them everywhere after reading _A Suitable Boy_ (a ponderous novel)
 
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