I'm with SillySapienne on this one. Sounds like ESFP or another type. I have had my own share of self-esteem issues over the years, but NEVER EVER NEVER have I been jealous of my friends (or boyfriends for that matter). This does not sound ENFP at all.
I think SillySapienne hit the nail on the head about the Fi being in play here. Auxiliary Fi mean that I get great / sincere enjoyment when watching those around me experience happiness and success. Furthermore, it would tell me that not being happy for my friends is morally wrong.
Bad tests, poorly thought out answers, etc. can cause skewing on test results. I'd step back and observe my friend to see if I could deduce what type she is... then if I felt sure she was really an ENFP, I'd give her a figurative whack on the back of the head. Her feelings might get hurt, but this isn't necessarily a bad thing. Sounds like she's being a self-centered insecure person... and NOT a very good friend to you. Sometimes we need to get "whacked on the back of the head" by a friend to realize our own idiocy.
Thank you!!!!
MDP, you erred in titling this thread ENFP possessiveness and
jealousy with friendships
Seriously.
You and she had a romantic relationship, though it may seem/be platonic now, if this chick, is in fact an ENFP, she is VERY MUCH, a.) insecure and b.) still in love/infatuated with you.
I have NEVER been jealous of anyone, EVER, I think jealousy and envy are disgusting behaviors.
I will feel sorry for myself, I will go into my shell, and self-destruct, but I would and will NEVER WANT TO HURT ANYONE ELSE, EVER.
FUCK, I even feel guilty when I'm depressed because this hurts the ones I love, but I can't help it. :sad:
Also,
I CANNOT STAND THOSE WHO INFECT THEIR MISERY ONTO OTHERS, YUCK, YUCK, YUCK, AND DESPICABLE!!!!
I've NEVER EVER EVER EVER EVER EVER EVER EVER EVER EVER been jealous of my friends, nor have I ever been possessive of them.
I believe that people should do what they want, I HATE FORCE, AND BEING FORCED, so I will never force you to do or be someone or something you're not, or you don't want to.
I actually started a thread regarding jealousy, I do feel it, strictly in a romantic context, when I feel on shaky ground, that my love is not being reciprocated, that I am dating and loving an asshole, and this fear leads me to be jealous when he is attentive to other people/things, when in my ideal world he'd *want* to spend all his free time with me.
Here is a caveat, though, and no, I am not getting on some moral high-horse, but those who know me well, understand that I am a "freak" in this regard, that being how little I compare myself to others, I don't get a sense of self worth by measuring myself against others, never have, never will, I get my sense of self-worth from within, of course I want validation, but only from those I love, respect and admire, but, shit, I like being me, as crazy as I am, I've never felt threatened by someone else, never, you do you, I do me.
I've never understood, firsthand, this rampant tendency amongst human beings, (that being the impulse to constantly compare oneself to others, hierarchically, i.e. she's smarter than me, she has a better body than me, she has more money than me...) I observe it all the time, but I've never felt it firsthand, I dunno, the down-side to this is that I am very self-involved, I score incredibly high in intraspection, I have this almost 28 year relationship with myself, I've got my books, my journals, my thoughts, my art, my pictures, my memories, I dunno, I will help others, when they need and ask for my help, and I love to make others better, just overall, happier, more self-aware, anything at all I can do to contribute positively to their lives, this also gives me immense meaning, helping others.
Historically, I have had, hmm, bad luck with close girlfriends, I only like to devote my attention to one person at a time, i.e. I prefer one on one human contact, and this has led to many of my friends hating each other and hating on each other, and vying for my time and attention.
I hate being pulled.
So, yeah, I've experienced the OPPOSITE of the OP, in that I've NEVER been possessive over anyone nor jealous.
And, Pitseleh
You bring up a good point, hahahahhaa, I tend to, hmm, have more rigid standards for whom I would deem to be real ENFPs, in fact, when I joined this site, I thought I never met another ENFP in my entire life, which actually might still be the case, but I know an ENFP when I see one, (on this site), but I am heavily biased, as in, when I took the MBTI, an came out as an ENFP, and read all the different profiles, I was in complete and utter shock, one of the most crazy experiences of my life, taking a 70 something questionnaire and being categorized as an ENFP and for the first time in my life, reading a description that described me to a T.
I spent my entire life feeling like a freak, I'm also an enneagram 4w5, and reading these profiles regarding, fuck, who I was, and why I do what I do, and my faults, and what I love, and why I live my life, well, it was shocking in the best way possible.
However, what people NEED TO UNDERSTAND IS THIS:
Very few people actually fully exemplify each of the 16 archetypes, which makes perfect sense, when I took the test, there were maybe 5 questions that I coulda answered either way, but the rest were ridiculously easy for me to answer, like duh, of course, you know?
God, sorry, I'm twired so I am going all over the place.
Yes, Fi is subjective, and internally derived, but I dunno, I am wary when one's Fi values are well, I'll just be honest, My "Fi" is my god, it's been with me my entire life, an inner voice, channeled to and through me, ego-less, quiet, whispering the Truth, even when I don't want to hear it, god dammit!!!
I would be a saint if I always listened and acted in accordance with my Fi, my Fi is sooooo fucking pure, and it has never failed me, or others, ever, rather, I have failed it, I have ignored it, but it's still there, sadly I am one who is incapable of being delusional.
Mayhaps that explains my predilection for depression, that combined with the fact that we live in a world where human beings can be so fucking awful, bleh.
I don't want to go down that path, right now.
So anyway...
She is the only woman I've been with. I prefer men.
It was an experience that felt natural so I went with it but I quickly cut it off when she crossed a known boundary of mine.
So once a lover of an ENFP always a lover to an ENFP?
Is she a full blown lesbian?
Ouch, you " quickly cut it off when she crossed a known boundary of mine."
That would suck, and I know from experience because, back in the day, my ISTP broke my heart TWICE, but the time he really crushed it was when he quickly cut me out of his life, it was like going 100 to 0 in a day's time. Awful, it took me a full year and some change to get over that, I wallowed, gah, don't wanna engage in an Fi-Si loop, right now, wow, he really fucked me up, and guess what, it was his fucking fault, and he knew it, deep deep deep deep down inside he knew it, he was experiencing a horrible depression at the time, and I think he couldn't be with me because he couldn't even be, if that makes sense, so in retrospect, I don't even blame him, though it hurt like hell.
I don't think she was. We didn't know each other that well when we dated and she was dating someone else also at the time.
She confuses me whenever she talks about when we dated. I ended it for very specific reasons which her actions caused.
But then later she says it could have worked if I liked girls as much as guys.
She recently told me she thinks I have the most sex appeal of anyone she knows. She doesn't know why she's so attracted to me but she feels a "pull" towards me.
I take this stuff with a grain of salt. Her emotions seem to switch so often. I can never fully trust them. Sometimes I wonder if we live the same reality.
ENTJ friend says that she only does this with me.
*Slaps you across the fiz-ace and throws you into a cold shower, WAKE UP, MAN,
Oy, ISTPs can be so dense regarding romantic affairs, it's cute, but annoying as hell.
THIS CHICK LIKES YOU, A LOT, A WHOLE LOT.
SHE WANTS YOU BACK.
A LOT.
A WHOLE LOT.
SHE IS INFATUATED WITH YOU.
LIKE, DUH!!!!
