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[ENFJ] Common ENFJ Issues

My Fe burns like a white-hot volcano deep inside my...


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Norrsken

self murderer
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Nov 27, 2015
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I remember coming across this judgmental post somewhere on the internet that you ENFJs are emotionally promiscuous, in that you spill your whole soul to your lover, but then do it with other people, and then your lover knows about it and feel not-so special anymore, in a way. What are your thoughts about this and how would you deal with your partner confronting you over this?
 

Adfectus

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Apr 11, 2016
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so/sx
[MENTION=26674]theforsaken[/MENTION] I haven't really been in a romantic relationship long enough to speak on that level, but I used to have a close friend that would get jealous a lot. (We are no longer friends)

I considered her my best friend because we did a lot of things together and had a lot in common. However, I usually tell all of my friends about everything I'm going through because they all have unique perspectives and I feel that sharing personal things inspires them to share and grow too. To her, she took being called "best friend" meant I liked her more than all of my other friends. That's not really true for me. I don't call someone a best friend because I like them more. I choose all of my friends because of their unique qualities and I oppreciate everyone for their differences. It'd be like asking a mother to choose her favorite child... I can't, lol. For me, best friend is more of a label of who I spend the most time with and confide in the most.

I can see how she felt less special because I told a lot of my friends the same things I told her, but it's hard for me to understand why someone wants to feel liked better than other people.

Ok to be quite honest I really don't know how I would handle that situation with a lover... With my friend, I told her what I just stated above and she just got more and more offended as I kept talking. :shock:

Honestly though, it was kind of insulting for her to want to be liked better than my other friends. I'm not the type of person who likes to have favorites, and if I was in a romantic relationship with someone who got jealous of the time I spent with my friends and the way I pour my heart out with them as well I don't think it would really ever work out. It's just how I am. :/
 

Adfectus

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Not really an issue, but more of a question. How do you guys generally get along with ISTXs? I feel like we always highly annoy each other whenever I'm around one.
 

andresimon

Permabanned
Joined
Apr 11, 2015
Messages
249
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ENFP
I think having one of these bad boys for the ENFJs fits quite nicely with the others. So shiny. So... shiny... *eye spirals*

I feel a little unqualified for some stupid reason (I hate reason! Get outta here!) to start this thread because my E/I axis is nearly balanced with one beating out the other at any given time, but big fat whatever!

I learn a lot from the NFJs here.

So learn me. *whips out little slate and chalk and kicks Tom Sawyer*

Easy, they miss too many details to be logical. Highly inconsistent, always exaggerating. Narcissistic when unhealthy. Some of the best people I know.
 

Unkindloving

Lungs & Lips Locked
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Dec 10, 2009
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I remember coming across this judgmental post somewhere on the internet that you ENFJs are emotionally promiscuous, in that you spill your whole soul to your lover, but then do it with other people, and then your lover knows about it and feel not-so special anymore, in a way. What are your thoughts about this and how would you deal with your partner confronting you over this?

Hm I don't spill my whole soul to others, personally. Significant others always get a more intimate view and perspective, although I may share a lot of my overall views and life-happenings with others. It's more about what is given and taken within the relationship vs what storytelling and banter goes on outside of it. If someone is getting the exact same from me that I give to my significant other, then there is an innate issue that has to be resolved.
I've had clingy significant others who felt intimidated by an INTJ best friend of mine for similar reasons, but they were often deluding the reality of our relationship alongside the grandeur of my friendship in their eyes. Often done by the INFPs I'd dated.
 

Unkindloving

Lungs & Lips Locked
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Not really an issue, but more of a question. How do you guys generally get along with ISTXs? I feel like we always highly annoy each other whenever I'm around one.

I believe I've been around one ISTJ and we just simply did Not mesh well. I'd found my character got deep under his skin, and what he presumed my character to be was even more under his skin despite how misguided it was. Other ISTJs have simply struck me as very dry, although not unpleasant. I'm not sure how well we'd tolerate one another at length.
ISTPs, however, I find I like to playfully annoy and generally get along with in most situations. Its often been a "I'm a special snowflake HAAAIII ^___^" from me and a "I'm going to kill you -_-" from them, which is also oddly out of character for me. I've run into one female ISTP that I didn't really get on with in large doses, simply because she is quite catty, but beyond that she was decent people. I just think she didnt interact well with many females over the years so just reverts to the attitude.
 

VILLANELLE

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I can spill my soul at the drop of a hat, I'm just.. too open sometimes. But there are people I know to not be open to.
 

Red Memories

Haunted Echoes
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*relates to a lot of this too although not ENFJ* XD
 

VILLANELLE

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I remember coming across this judgmental post somewhere on the internet that you ENFJs are emotionally promiscuous, in that you spill your whole soul to your lover, but then do it with other people, and then your lover knows about it and feel not-so special anymore, in a way. What are your thoughts about this and how would you deal with your partner confronting you over this?

Something just clicked in my head and now I know why I'm so talkative, or have been, in the past, wow. I've always been the one to spill my soul to strangers, I just want to be friends with people immediately. It seems to have slowed down recently, but even with people I know, I can easily spill my guts. It's just instinct. Although some people I don't, but that's... different. Parents, sometimes. You know. I don't really know how to answer the question except for, that, if I were doing the confronting, I'd feel pretty crappy if I didn't get to see a side of my partner and another person did. I wouldn't feel as special, I'd feel hurt. What do they get that I don't? (Meaning, in treatment of the person and understanding.) So I imagine my partner would feel like that, if I had one, and if I did that to them. That would be shitty, even if unintentionally. I mean, there's nothing wrong with being friendly at all, but sometimes it can be a bit much and it's like, where's the line? Even though I talk a lot and I can overshare, so I don't really know the line. Hell, I start chatting with salespeople at the store and I end up thinking they're my friends... when they're just doing their job.
 

JihadiJohn

Permabanned
Joined
Oct 14, 2017
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10
Pansy, hopeless romantic, obsessed with anything cute, smells of peaches, wears a dress (the men too yes), owns multiple dildos (yes again, the men too, you surprised? yeah me neither), stop sharing our food
 

noneya

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Nov 22, 2017
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This is me 100%
Glad I am not alone but wish I knew how to fix these qualities in myself:huh:
 
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