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[INFJ] INFJs, have you ever?

WildCard

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We were having a farewell party for some kids in my unit whose four years were up and they were leaving. I wanted to chuckle at myself because I actually payed attention to how I acted.

It was quite a large party (there were at least 175 people). I came in and worked my way to the fringes, just watching things. Most of the people I'm familiar with (thus in my "circle") weren't there because they had to work. I was quite tense, even though I knew no one was really paying any attention to me (it's quite easy to blend in like a zebra if you're all wearing fatigues :D ) so I spotted someone sitting alone and slowly made my way over.

And I think I'm rather wierd that way. I gravitate not towards clumps of people, but the loner lurking in the corner. I sat a few tables over and simply examined her for about ten minutes, ate half a dozen cookies, then finally walked over (four cookies later XD ) and started talking.

I think we both were a little shy, but we hit it off very well. I wound up talking to her almost four hours after the party ended.

So I was curious if I was just wierd, or if anyone else did this.

And, if it helps, I'm female.
 

mochajava

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Seems fine to me? I think introverts often look for one-on-one or small groups of people who won't be incredibly boisterous at a party, and that's a wonderful way to enjoy yourself at these types of events. They are pretty unavoidable, so I think it's great that there was a way for you to enjoy yourself there.

What's this about everyone wearing fatigues? Was it a boot camp party? :)
 

kccrush

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Completely understand! At parties I think it's so much easier to find someone and just talk to them. It's great that you enjoyed talking to her and she to you. It's much easier to approach a singular entity than a group of people. At least for me, I find approaching groups to be particularly painful :)
 

Paisley

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Don't let the extraverts make you feel weird. That's exactly what I do at parties WildCard.

Everyone likes to find like minded people in social situations, and for me it's usually the loner intellectual, and I can just "know" whether I can talk freely with someone or not. I'm in my element talking one on one, rather than attempting to blend in with the retarded s-type herd mentality.

While waiting to get my truck fixed with a group of people around, I ended up getting into a conversation with a writer. We talked non-stop for 6 hours (which felt like an hour) about everything, from literature to politics to film/tv, and he and I still email back and forth about his book and the direction he wants me to take in writing. It was kind of amazing meeting someone 11 years older than me and circling the same ideas. My point is that one on one conversations can be cosmic like that, whereas big group conversations are lowest common denominator, ranging from stressful to just plain boring. We're (infj's) true introverts often confused for extraverts because of our love for people and ability to communicate.
 

mochajava

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I like cosmic conversations like @paisley1 describes. Little gifts from life, is how I view them.

Oh! Also, @Wildcard, this post comes at a perfect time for me. I'm going a wedding today all by myself, and I don't know anyone but the bride and groom (I'm his friend from college). But it'll be 35 people, and the bride/groom are crazy introverted only children, so I am sure their friends will be cool (read: weird, like me).

:)
 

Paisley

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I like cosmic conversations like @paisley1 describes. Little gifts from life, is how I view them.

Oh! Also, @Wildcard, this post comes at a perfect time for me. I'm going a wedding today all by myself, and I don't know anyone but the bride and groom (I'm his friend from college). But it'll be 35 people, and the bride/groom are crazy introverted only children, so I am sure their friends will be cool (read: weird, like me).

:)

....or, Gifts from God. (spoken like a true INFJ)
 

Tiltyred

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If you can get me to go, that's me at a party as well. Looking for a soul mate to compare notes with on the mystery of life.
 

tommyc

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interested by comment above concerning introverted only children. makes me wonder if being an only (fairly lonely) child contributed to me being somewhat of a loner infj. maybe when I get older (im only 20 now) i'll mutate into some completely different personality type like estp or something.
 

Fenekk

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Yeah, that sounds just like something I would do. I don't think I'd much care for the groups of people. For me, it's often as though they don't really "exist" in my viable options of things to do. I know they are there, but they go ignored and I pay attention to other things. It's like my mind instantly rules out the possibility of joining those groups.

There are definitely times when I would try to find someone else who isn't a part of the "party" so to say. That type of person can probably relate to me more and vice versa.
 

WildCard

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*grins* Well, I don't feel so strange now :) I was letting my curiosity roam to see if anyone else did something similiar :D

@mochajava: I'm in the USMC, so I guess it could be a fatigue party XD

To be honest, I was shocked at the content in everyone's posts that were so similiar to how I viewed parties and acted. I guess because everyone in my family are mostly extroverts, they drive me insane when they want to do huge, extravagant parties when all I really want is my closest friends and family there.

Like for my 21st birthday in November. They want to take me bar-hopping, and I'm really not all that into it. I'm not a big drinker to begin with (I can't stand the smell of beer, especially stuff like Bud light or other cheap beer) and I really don't want to see people dancing on the bar. If you're wondering, they want to take me to Coyote Ugly >.>
 

mochajava

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I've seen the Coyote Ugly movie... interesting when thought of as a bar + musical in one... I like musicals. But yeah, lots of people do not do these traditions at all.

We ARE similar, it's true! I think that's half of what rocks about this forum if you're an INFJ. You feel less like a crazy freak of nature, particularly when you're younger and figuring these things out. Or older and figuring these things out.

:soap:

Oh, and part with all the crazy customs you can. You never have to do something in the proscribed way. For example, I got married in a fairly normal way for my culture (multiple events, tons of people, meeting loads of relatives, way overdressed) and I just went to a wedding (the one above) with 35 people, no chairs at the ceremony, and a dinner at a fabulous restaurant that we 35 filled up. I thought it was fun to go to and wouldn't suck to be the bride and groom...

Regular weddings means you're a big, shiny, overdone center of attention. Some people love this and make a big deal of it - outfit changes, grand entrances. Me? All of that is torture.
 
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