• You are currently viewing our forum as a guest, which gives you limited access to view most discussions and access our other features. By joining our free community, you will have access to additional post topics, communicate privately with other members (PM), view blogs, respond to polls, upload content, and access many other special features. Registration is fast, simple and absolutely free, so please join our community today! Just click here to register. You should turn your Ad Blocker off for this site or certain features may not work properly. If you have any problems with the registration process or your account login, please contact us by clicking here.

[INFP] Common INFP Issues

Blackout

Permabanned
Joined
Aug 16, 2015
Messages
1,356
MBTI Type
infp
Enneagram
4w3
Instinctual Variant
sx/so
I like strong women, the only problem is that I do have a backbone, and I will not stand being micro-managed or ordered around, and I find a lot of women who sort of fit that description are like that. I mean, they want to be in charge, and it's like, I am not taking that shit. No sir.

NO ONE IS THE BOSS OF ME!!
 

Blackout

Permabanned
Joined
Aug 16, 2015
Messages
1,356
MBTI Type
infp
Enneagram
4w3
Instinctual Variant
sx/so
The life of INFP males:
13506201.gif

carnie-1.jpg

images

Carnies-04.jpg

01-carnies.jpg
 

Heaven's Child

New member
Joined
Nov 1, 2015
Messages
7
MBTI Type
INFP
Enneagram
4w5
Instinctual Variant
sp/so
Please disregard if this doesn't apply to you. No such thing as universal truth in my humble opinion.

1 Initially trusting people but then growing to find out they're not as great as my imagination made them out to be.
2 Using my imagination to create my own sense of identity because I fear that I have no unique identity at all.
3 Making bad life choices because I was trying to be somebody I'm not.
4 Wasting too much time. Procrastination on a *massive scale*
5 Not being able to stay employed for long. So far anyway. I hope this changes and I can keep a solid occupation. I need one.
6 Taking things personally without even realizing I was taking it personally. I just thought the person meant to offend me. Feel free to tell me otherwise.
7 Falling into a fantasy type of love with almost anybody that both brings out the best in me, and makes me feel better just to be around them.
8 Seeing the best in almost everybody else thus making me feel very insecure about myself. This also leads to me having an unrealistic view of famous people that did bad things. (For example, I like Joseph Stalin, even though I am well aware of all the evil things he did to so many people. Not trying to defend him but he had an abusive father, which probably led to him joining Lenin. Please don't try to convince me that I shouldn't like him. I'm just willing to overlook his vices. I think everybody does that to some extent with famous people they want to admire.)

I can agree with pretty much all of this...

1 When I think about a person, their image in my head gets better and better over time and it's a shock when I find out that they aren't actually like that...
2 A good friend already told me once during a fight that I should behave more authentic and not so fake. I thought about it a lot after he said that but I couldn't really say what's "authentic" about me...
3 For a few years during highschool, I really tried to be an extrovert. I was basically just stressing myself out and my grades got worse.
4 I did my scientifical project for school (we have more that one year to write it) within the last two weeks.
5 I can't say anything about that so far
6 I managed to get this under control a bit but when I was younger, people frequently told me that I can't take criticism
7 This one depends a bit on the situation
8 I usually choose to see the best in other people since there are so many other people who will only see the worst. Everyone has a right for at least a bit of emotional support. But it doesn't always make me feel insecure... it depends
 

ir_rational

New member
Joined
Jan 27, 2014
Messages
2
MBTI Type
INFP
Enneagram
4w3
Instinctual Variant
sx
Are INFPs innately "lazy," for lack of a more endearing term? I find that I must always summon a lot of energy to get through a task if it isn't something I really feel like doing in that moment. But, now that I think about it, what I just described I'm sure most people can relate to. I just notice it is something I really struggle with.

Also, due to my "idealistic" nature, I find that I really struggle with depression/melancholy and keeping the little grey cloud above my head at bay... I'm always day dreaming about the next thing, what could be, and struggle to live in the moment.

Also, most of the time I am completely consumed by my own love for my SO. It's like a feeling of claustrophobia where I am trapping myself in my own feelings for him, and completely idolize him.

Just a few "issues" I have as an INFP.
 

melomania

New member
Joined
Dec 22, 2014
Messages
56
MBTI Type
INFP
Are INFPs innately "lazy," for lack of a more endearing term? I find that I must always summon a lot of energy to get through a task if it isn't something I really feel like doing in that moment. But, now that I think about it, what I just described I'm sure most people can relate to. I just notice it is something I really struggle with.

Also, due to my "idealistic" nature, I find that I really struggle with depression/melancholy and keeping the little grey cloud above my head at bay... I'm always day dreaming about the next thing, what could be, and struggle to live in the moment.

Also, most of the time I am completely consumed by my own love for my SO. It's like a feeling of claustrophobia where I am trapping myself in my own feelings for him, and completely idolize him.

Just a few "issues" I have as an INFP.

I can relate to everything that you mentioned here. I tend to have absolutely no motivation to get things done unless I am in my "manically excited about something" mode. I get really excited about a new path or new ideas/philosophies, new career options, new things to study at school, etc. Then after awhile, I tend to lose steam and move on to something completely different. I agree that a lack of motivation due to not wanting to do something is surely a problem that people from all personality types struggle with to some extent, but personally, I find this issue to be somewhat debilitating for me. When I need to get things done that I don't want to do, the drive to NOT do these things feels so powerful and many times, it overpowers my ability to get up and do it anyways.

Idealism is also something that I struggle with often and, while I am very proud of being this way, it definitely bites me in the ass a lot because I am constantly setting myself up for disappointment due to having unrealistic expectations of how people and the world SHOULD be. This also makes it very hard for me to forgive myself and others for making mistakes, but it is something I am working on.

I am also completely consumed by my love for my SO. The whole world ceases to exist for me when we are together and my attention is completely captivated by him on a constant basis. I idealized him much more when we first met, but we have been together for over 5 years now and we have lived together for 4 of those years and, after that much time, you get to know a person's true character and see all of their flaws and assets for what they really are. I must admit that it took me awhile to see many wonderful things about his personality because I had this preconceived and totally idealistic image of him in my mind. I thought of him like this superhuman saint-like figure, and that led to some very harsh critique on my part whenever he did something that didn't fit into this notion that I was holding. Now, I still see him as a saint, because he is the most pure-of-heart person that I know, but now what I see is more rooted in reality and I try not to hold him up to the same unrealistic standards that I hold myself to.
 

Lsjnzy13

New member
Joined
Nov 23, 2015
Messages
33
MBTI Type
ESTJ
Enneagram
IDK
[*]Social Disregard and/or Cluelessness - Our lack of Fe and reliance on Fi tends to make us seemingly unaware of societal expectations. Even when we are aware of them, we may see such expectations as an attack on our individual expression and autonomy. Our Fi focus may also cause us to appear quirky or dress inappropriately for a given situation. Also, we may experience unnecessary conflict with Fe-users because we are unaware of the message we are sending by opting out of important rituals and traditions. We tend to be bad at initiating contact with others, which may send a message that we are selfishly disinterested in other people.

Agree with your other three points, but the problem with me is that while I can relate to almost everything said about INFPs, my functions do not match. Fi is actually among my more inferior functions and my dominant functions are actually Ne and Fe, hence why so many people think I'm EXFP. Would you say it's possible for someone to be a stereotypical INFP yet have the cognitive functions Ne>Fe>Se>Te?
 

MaybeOneDay

New member
Joined
Dec 26, 2015
Messages
1
MBTI Type
INFP
Enneagram
4w5
That's exactly it. The major problems most INFP's have is related to the fact that INFP's don't have many positives related to finding happiness in life. Whenever talking about the positives of being an INFP it's all about being very accepting and non-judgemental - being empathic and an emotional sponge to help other types to go on and live their happy lives. Being an INFP is not beneficial when it comes to actually achieving something in life or being happy. This is why INFP is the most likely type to have depression. It's not easy to live as a type that doesn't have any strengths that would help themselves find fulfillment and happiness in life or even finding means to pay their bills.
 

OrangeAppled

Sugar Hiccup
Joined
Mar 20, 2009
Messages
7,626
MBTI Type
INFP
Enneagram
4w5
Instinctual Variant
sp/sx
Please disregard if this doesn't apply to you. No such thing as universal truth in my humble opinion.

- Initially trusting people but then growing to find out they're not as great as my imagination made them out to be.
- Using my imagination to create my own sense of identity because I fear that I have no unique identity at all.
- Making bad life choices because I was trying to be somebody I'm not.
- Wasting too much time. Procrastination on a *massive scale*
- Not being able to stay employed for long. So far anyway. I hope this changes and I can keep a solid occupation. I need one.
- Taking things personally without even realizing I was taking it personally. I just thought the person meant to offend me. Feel free to tell me otherwise.
- Falling into a fantasy type of love with almost anybody that both brings out the best in me, and makes me feel better just to be around them.
- Seeing the best in almost everybody else thus making me feel very insecure about myself. This also leads to me having an unrealistic view of famous people that did bad things. (For example, I like Joseph Stalin, even though I am well aware of all the evil things he did to so many people. Not trying to defend him but he had an abusive father, which probably led to him joining Lenin. Please don't try to convince me that I shouldn't like him. I'm just willing to overlook his vices. I think everybody does that to some extent with famous people they want to admire.)

1. Yes, I've come to terms with why INFPs get the "naive" label sometimes. It stems from giving too much benefit of the doubt and seeing people in terms of their potential instead of who they are actually showing up as. That bubble definitely bursts eventually.
2. Yes
3. Not sure about that....I have made some good life choices because of this! Stepping outside my ego was a good thing.
I have also made some common choices which people are sold that they should do, and I found they did not make me happy. I don't think I was trying to be someone else, but I actually bought into the illusion.
4. I have had weeks, months, years that I have wasted in "chrysalis" mode (credit [MENTION=20783]Grey[/MENTION]beard for that). But maybe it was not a waste if I came out certain insights into myself and life. Some people never get there until the infamous midlife crisis. I procrastinate mildly on a smaller scale, but deadlines are enough to motivate me and I usually meet them with success. Goofing off is also a part of my creative process. ;)
5. I have never been fired and all employers have been sad to see me go. I dont get jobs easily as I make bad first impressions and have trouble selling myself. I am valued over time though. I also do get very sick of a job approx 1 year in. The first 6 months are great, the next 6 tolerable, and then I am extremely bored of it. I did stick with a job for 3.5 years once. That was the longest thus far....
6. I have been told I do this sometimes, but I also think others can be passive-aggressive and deny it when you call them on their BS. Mostly I now chalk up stuff to being about the other person (ie their own insecurity) which makes it easier to brush off. I also remind myself how much I stick my foot in my mouth.
7. No. I am even picky about fantasy loves. :D
I tend to instead project a fantasy onto someone who has some semblance of some ideal. I have lessened this by paying attention to how I actually feel DURING interactions with them. Often, I find there was no real attraction or even liking of the person, but it was just a fantasy that I stuck on them. So payng attention to how I feel in real time has been helpful in lessening this. It might be nice to like someone because they actually make me feel GOOD. :D
8. Hm, I never thought how seeing the best in people was affecting me that way! I always thought this was a good trait, but I see now how it fuels envy and too-high expectations for myself. Of course, when this bubble pops (as previously noted), the pendulum can swing to exaggerated criticism of the person.... :X


Do you guys use humour to hide/protect your inner sanctum from invaders? Act sarcastic or silly to keep people at a certain distance? Do you ever feel like you have an external persona that acts as a shield, and helps you meet surface demands? Do most people realize how sensitive you truly are?

I find my playful side a vulnerable aspect of myself. I usually don't get humorous/silly with people until comfortable. People may think I am quite serious until then. This has eased up a bit with age though.
I probably do use sarcasm to obscure. The wry, half-jokes are a way of revealing feelings that seem too vulnerable to be discussed straight-on. Instead of keeping people at a distance, I feel like I am testing the water with them.
The external persona I have is a really reserved, blank person. I can even seem emotionless to some, but not in the robotic way of an IxTJ. Internally I am pretty colorful and perhaps even emotionally intense, but in many surface interactions I don't convey much personality. My close family and friends think I am a "character", in contrast. I think it is more of a shell than a persona....
This has lessened a LOT with age, although initially or in certain situations I may still appear very reserved. I feel less inhibited now than simply trying to reserve energy for when I, uh, care more.
As for meeting surface demands, besides conserving energy by going blank, I probably am just polite, but aloof. I can unfortunately garner suspicion because I don't volunteer much info about myself. Because I like fashion, people may also think I am shallow. I dont seek to prove I am deep or smart though. Given my online rep for being a bit heavy, that's probably surprising.
I think people misinterpret my sensitivity. They think it is all about me and not larger values, things which affect other people too. They also project offense onto me when I feel none. They tiptoe when it's unnecessary. I think this is because when I am sensitive, they don't know or understand why, making it unpredictable to them. I don't think I am more sensitive than others, given how much will roll off my back that offends others, but it is over such different stuff (often very hard to pinpoint in concrete terms) that it seems like I am especially sensitive. So they do see how sensitive I am, I think, but they still don't get it.
 

hipsterpeterpan

New member
Joined
Jan 23, 2016
Messages
29
MBTI Type
INFP
Enneagram
4w5
Instinctual Variant
sp/so
Can anyone else relate to feeling annoying by just being ourselves? Like, I always feel like I'm annoying when I'm talking about something I'm passionate about, whether it be something to do with my idealistic values or something "unimportant" like fiction. I also kind of want to share my interests with people, but will try to do this passive-aggressively (like having my favorite songs playing when someone else is in the house, hoping they'll hear it and enjoy it with me). But then I remind myself to stop or shut up because I feel like I'm annoying everyone around me. Anyone relate to this?
 

Norrsken

self murderer
Joined
Nov 27, 2015
Messages
3,633
MBTI Type
ENFJ
Instinctual Variant
sx/so
Internally screaming when you know you have forgotten something incredibly important.
 

Puffypolma

Bizarre Love Triangle
Joined
Feb 9, 2016
Messages
169
MBTI Type
INFP
Enneagram
496
Can anyone else relate to feeling annoying by just being ourselves? Like, I always feel like I'm annoying when I'm talking about something I'm passionate about, whether it be something to do with my idealistic values or something "unimportant" like fiction. I also kind of want to share my interests with people, but will try to do this passive-aggressively (like having my favorite songs playing when someone else is in the house, hoping they'll hear it and enjoy it with me). But then I remind myself to stop or shut up because I feel like I'm annoying everyone around me. Anyone relate to this?

Same
 

AnneG

New member
Joined
Feb 27, 2016
Messages
6
MBTI Type
INFP
Enneagram
4
Hi!

I was just wondering if this is an INFP trait or just an evolved trait (read: coping mechanism)

Are there any INFP's (or NP's, I think) who really enjoy organising?

I tend to find that I am no good at keeping things neat on a daily basis (routine averse), but I sometimes jump in and organise the hell out of something. I love clearing things out and tossing as much as possible. My room and work-space have things "grouped" and I know exactly where things are (even if it is under a pile of the same kind of thing). My desk at work is always cleared at the end of the day (not during working hours... then it is a mess of all I am working on) and my car tends to only have the odd water bottle lying about.

Curious if this is a personal quirk or something personality related.
 

AnneG

New member
Joined
Feb 27, 2016
Messages
6
MBTI Type
INFP
Enneagram
4
Can anyone else relate to feeling annoying by just being ourselves? Like, I always feel like I'm annoying when I'm talking about something I'm passionate about, whether it be something to do with my idealistic values or something "unimportant" like fiction. I also kind of want to share my interests with people, but will try to do this passive-aggressively (like having my favorite songs playing when someone else is in the house, hoping they'll hear it and enjoy it with me). But then I remind myself to stop or shut up because I feel like I'm annoying everyone around me. Anyone relate to this?

Exactly! I was just having a discussion with my dad about MBIT and I got so annoyed with myself because I felt like I was trapping him in the discussion. I would NEVER force myself on anyone but my closest family and friends, but sometimes I feel like I have to force myself on them or I'd never get the chance to open up.

I get so frustrated when people use me as their emotional dumping ground without reciprocating. I love being the dumping ground, don't misunderstand, but it is so rare that I get to "let go". I'm equating emotion with things we are passionate about because I think the two are linked for our types ;)

Loooove your username, by the way. I've had a crush on Peter Pan since forever.
 

AnneG

New member
Joined
Feb 27, 2016
Messages
6
MBTI Type
INFP
Enneagram
4
Internally screaming when you know you have forgotten something incredibly important.

Oh man, yes. And it happens way too often. Birthdays and other important events in other people's lives.
 

AnneG

New member
Joined
Feb 27, 2016
Messages
6
MBTI Type
INFP
Enneagram
4
I personally believe that i have had a narcissistic personality disorder - and yes, i have been accused of narcissism and cruelty. :thinking: :wacko:

To your statement lecky i have to say that both extreme ends are unhealthy narcissism: caring too little and caring too much. For example taking care of other persons emotional needs above yourself and extensively is narcissism, you don't recognize your limit's nor the other persons private area. You see...Like being a therapist to another person and attaching him/her this way to you. INFP know how people feel and that's base for manipulation.
Narcissism is not that simple term.

I dont know are these issues only common in INFP's, but like you can see above, my biggest problems have been several mental disorders: borderline personality disorder, narcissm, ptsd, depression, anxiety, social anxiety disorder, panic attacks, bipolar and so forth. My head drives me crazy.

If you haven't, check out Podcast - Episode 0055 - INFP Personality Type Advice

I am in no way affiliated with it, it has just helped me, as an INFP, sooooo much.

I think, as INFP's, we have the ability to delve into emotion in a very intense way. In conjunction with our imaginations, we also have the ability to really "see" ourselves having mental disorders, when in reality it is just that we are willing to explore the dark side of the human psyche.

Because we are also so incredibly idealistic and tend to want everything around us to be morally perfect (whatever your morals may be), we start to believe that, if we have the ability to "go there" in our minds, we are probably inherently messed up.

Some of us might really have a problem extricating ourselves from those dark places, so I am not trying to undermine anyone really suffering from a disorder. It just helped me to understand why I always feel there was something wrong with me.

Every human being has dark and light. INFP's just tend to be willing to explore both places, which is what gives us the ability to understand and really empathise with almost anyone.
 
Joined
Dec 5, 2015
Messages
25
MBTI Type
INxP
Enneagram
4w5
Instinctual Variant
sp/sx
Hi!

I was just wondering if this is an INFP trait or just an evolved trait (read: coping mechanism)

Are there any INFP's (or NP's, I think) who really enjoy organising?

I tend to find that I am no good at keeping things neat on a daily basis (routine averse), but I sometimes jump in and organise the hell out of something. I love clearing things out and tossing as much as possible. My room and work-space have things "grouped" and I know exactly where things are (even if it is under a pile of the same kind of thing). My desk at work is always cleared at the end of the day (not during working hours... then it is a mess of all I am working on) and my car tends to only have the odd water bottle lying about.

Curious if this is a personal quirk or something personality related.

When I'm stressed, I tidy things. More like EVERYTHING. It helps me think objectively, and I tend to make important decisions while I tidy. When my external life i disorganized, my head is disorganized. So I guess you could say I do use general organization as a coping mechanism.
 

Radian

New member
Joined
Mar 6, 2016
Messages
78
Enneagram
5w4
Instinctual Variant
so/sx
hello.:hi:
I don't know if this applies to you guys, but-- don't you hate it when you can't give a reason in arguments? Especially in social, political stuff? Maybe it's just me?


 
Top