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[INFP] Common INFP Issues

chubber

failed poetry slam career
Joined
Oct 18, 2013
Messages
4,413
MBTI Type
INTP
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4w5
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sp/sx
Do you guys often get told you're narcissists?
 

Noll

New member
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Oct 12, 2013
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705
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INFP
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4w5
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sp
Do you guys often get told you're narcissists?
Other than being called arrogant on various internet forums - not really. I guess in real life there's some arrogance in me still, but I'm usually too shy for that kind of stuff. It usually does appear in arguments, I've been told I'm too much "I'm right, you're wrong" without any real proof. To me that sounds like bungus!
 

stormtrooper

New member
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Dec 2, 2013
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4
MBTI Type
INFP
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4w5
Most frequent INFP issue? Having problems with themselves, that's for sure. :D

And not to offtop:

I've never met an INFP male who was narcissistic, they were rather walking-complexes kind of people. Only a handful of them were emotionally balanced (thank God I'm among them), and didn't looked like they needed an urgent psychiatrist attention.
 

xenaprincess

Well-known member
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Oct 7, 2011
Messages
5,192
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infp
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6w5
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sp/sx
it's not narcissism. It's self-absorption.

With narcissism there is the connotation of elevating oneself on a pedestal.
That's definitely not the case with us!!!
 

Tyltalis

New member
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Dec 25, 2013
Messages
39
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INFP
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5w6
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sx/sp
Do you guys often get told you're narcissists?
Hahaha, my therapist once seriously asked me this.
Do you guys sometimes feel intimidated by the physical world?
 

Curtis B

New member
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Feb 5, 2014
Messages
45
MBTI Type
INFP
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9w1
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sx
One of my biggest weaknesses falls into the hypersensitivity category.

I've found that if I am TOLD what to do, even if it's the nicest possible way, I won't do it. I can't avoid this, even though I know that I do it.
"Clean your room."
"NO, why are you yelling at me to do something?!?!? Why're you always so mean and critical of me? So what if I'm a little messy?"
"Don't get mad at me!"
"I'm not mad at you! You're the one who's mad at me!"

However if I am ASKED to do something, I will happily oblige, even if it's the same thing.
"Could you please clean your room?"
"Absolutely, I like cleaning :)"
 

renaiziphonts

New member
Joined
Mar 29, 2014
Messages
102
MBTI Type
INFp
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9W1
Instinctual Variant
sx
Do you guys often get told you're narcissists?
Narcissism has always been a complicated subject for me. I am well aware of my ability. I have an IQ above 140, and standardize test in atleast the 95% in each subject. Where does being proud of this cross the line with Narcissism?

Well, for me; the statistical advantage has always been clear, and I have always thought that I must preform better than others (in a dangerously competitive way) but I don't do it because I think I am better, I try and prove myself smarter or stronger or more creative than someone because I know that the numbers say I should, and if I'm not then I am wasting my gift.

By definition, self-loathing and narcissism are polar opposites, but here they draw a fine line. I can not be content with being just average because I know I should be better, not because I think I am better.

My friend once told me that the way I think of my progress is as a pitcher full of water. I see my pitcher as larger, and so I must fill it all the way. If I were a narcissist, I;d think it already full.
 

Mr Nobody

New member
Joined
May 10, 2014
Messages
25
MBTI Type
INxJ
Enneagram
4w5
I tend to hate my own guts every time I flip out at someone... which happens from time to time. (not something I usually see on infp problems). Also have a tendency to start talking about some favorite subject and just go on and on until the other person is not only bored but frustrated... which is followed by the same self-loathing reaction. These are generally two things I have no control over : temper and talking.
 

lecky

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Dec 2, 2007
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6
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Do you guys often get told you're narcissists?

Wow! Never. Selfish or self-absorbed a few times, it surprises me because I didn't even realize my own behavior at the time. I try to evolve as a person, so I keep myself in check. I am very introspective.

Narcissists have zero empathy and that is something INFPs have plenty of. Maybe too much.
 

MadKitten

New member
Joined
May 1, 2014
Messages
41
MBTI Type
INFP
Narcissists have zero empathy and that is something INFPs have plenty of. Maybe too much.

I personally believe that i have had a narcissistic personality disorder - and yes, i have been accused of narcissism and cruelty. :thinking: :wacko:

To your statement lecky i have to say that both extreme ends are unhealthy narcissism: caring too little and caring too much. For example taking care of other persons emotional needs above yourself and extensively is narcissism, you don't recognize your limit's nor the other persons private area. You see...Like being a therapist to another person and attaching him/her this way to you. INFP know how people feel and that's base for manipulation.
Narcissism is not that simple term.

I dont know are these issues only common in INFP's, but like you can see above, my biggest problems have been several mental disorders: borderline personality disorder, narcissm, ptsd, depression, anxiety, social anxiety disorder, panic attacks, bipolar and so forth. My head drives me crazy.
 

Flâneuse

don't ask me
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Jan 16, 2014
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I think INFPs can come across as self-pitying, willfully negative, and/or trying to create drama even when we're not. Sometimes I'll simply be explaining something the way I see it or exploring an idea in (what I see as) a balanced way, and then I'm surprised to find out that the person I'm talking to thinks I'm complaining or intentionally focusing on negative things.
 

Ghost

Megustalations
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Jul 10, 2013
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INFP
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5w4
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I'm surprised to find out that the person I'm talking to thinks I'm complaining or intentionally focusing on negative things.

I get this a lot. People will offer advice on things I don't think are problems, so it seems that the way I phrase my comments leads them to believe I'm discontent. I just said whatever popped into my head. The other person thinks I'm at a crossroads asking "Where do I go from here?" My statements are more like mile markers, and I'm actually saying, "This is where I am right now."
 

limerick

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May 17, 2012
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8
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ESFP
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7
most of my issues in these last many recent years (I forget how many years it is now, seems like it's going on like 5 years now) stem from work & job-related issues. explicitly job-related really because i have my own 'work' i do & it has nothing to do with these jobs that are so draining & stupid. ah, whine whine whine. i've whined about this for years. i've also had issues with feeling unenergized to talk to people. recently small anxiety attacks, one in particular stemming directly from an online job application to CVS drugs. fucking LOL on that one. as an amazing weirdo with limited social skills & no potential for conventional success i just bother a lot of people & they want me to be different but that-
ain't-
happening.

one more thing: gas prices.
 

renaiziphonts

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Mar 29, 2014
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102
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sx
Hey, I don't know if you'll all get this, but do other INFPs feel like they wear masks? Like they steal personality traits from people around them in order to be accepted?
 

Olm the Water King

across the universe
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Aug 12, 2014
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INFP
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sx/so
There was a period when I felt very lonely so I decided to wear a sort of Fe mask for some time in order to socialize more and meet friends. I got quite good at it but it was very exhausting. I still do it sometimes, but not nearly as often.

As of late, I've been putting on a Te mask out of necessity. I've found myself in a situation where one of my main priorities is getting certain things done as efficiently as possible. I'm not sure how succesfull I'm going to be, but I'm hoping for the best.
 

Raffaella

bon vivant
Joined
Jan 25, 2014
Messages
945
absent-minded: "So, after turned the grill off, did you remove the chicken?"

:mellow:

Who doesn't love carcinogens?
 

Arctic Hysteria

an abyss of Nothingness
Joined
Jun 20, 2014
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655
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IxFP
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4w5
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Hey, I don't know if you'll all get this, but do other INFPs feel like they wear masks? Like they steal personality traits from people around them in order to be accepted?
Yes. And hence the identity crisis.
 

oneandonly

New member
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Sep 10, 2014
Messages
109
MBTI Type
INFJ
For INFJs, I think the biggest compliment you can give them is wanting to understand them completely and really know who they are at their core. Not asking seems like a rejection or lack of interest, particularly if they have invested a lot of time trying to get to know and understand you. Also not expressing something in my world usually means that I'm either neutral or holding back something negative (which I would probably only say if asked).

Conversely, I think that probing questions can sometimes be seen as intrusive by INFPs (although I think in person I have a pretty good sense usually of where that line is in relationship to how close we are). INFJs would see it as a compliment that they are interested enough to try to figure out how you work best. The big difference between us is that nothing is seen as totally neutral behaviour. Fe users tend to usually nothing=negative. Therefore if you don't tell an INFJ your positive feelings about them, they will assume there aren't any or that you even are beginning to feel quite negatively towards them. They'll try to ask about it sometimes and that seems even more annoying, I'm sure. I kind of think that INFPs like maintaining some sense of mystery too. If someone were to know everything about them, I think maybe it would engender some feeling of loss or being too exposed even if they really like that person.


So, how would you know if an INFPs feelings towards you are cooling off?


THIS, is exactly how/why my relationship with an INFP ended how it did.

I definitely feel like if you dont say anything, your'e holding back something negative and since the INFP will pull away not communicate and be so distant, The INFJ feels like they are left holding the bags, as if it could only have been important to them.

The is definitely that pervasive feeling of "I need more information"
 

Raffaella

bon vivant
Joined
Jan 25, 2014
Messages
945
I think the ruthlessness I display, due to infantile Te, after someone repeatedly violates my values disturbs me.
 
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