[ENFP] Common ENFP issues

[five sounds]

What I see from the outside looks like this. There's the normal everyday "head in the clouds" ENFP who is occasionally unreliable due to being caught up in other things, but there's also the "fighting revolutionary" ENFP who has taken up a cause (it could be anything, and often not very political at all, like pets and animal shelters) and become almost single-mindedly focused on that for a long period of time to the exclusion of others in their life. It's sorta-kinda the same thing, but the second one is so very focused, they don't even seem like ENFPs any more. Lots of "little passions" vs one "big passion", if you will.

Yeah I feel you. I think you'd be surprised at the similarity from the inside though. Like all those "little passions" are probably not as disconnected from each other as they might appear to an outsider. Fi is focused as fuck, and whatever passion might be expressed externally by an ENFP is probably so because of its relevance to a big passion they hold internally. The more those little passions start coming together, the more likely they are to appear cohesive to an outsider.

 

[Rebeka]

Hello there folks! I can relate to that so hard but haven't got to the end yet. Although I can see that in many projects that I need some parameters to really get anything done. If I don't have any frame, I just succumb to going through endless possibilities.

My most difficult problem in life has been the struggle to find a source of income that could feel fulfilling. I can't hold a regular job and don't even want to work in one. Every normal job seems like its not meaningful enough and not challenging enough. This could be one reason why its so blisteringly hard to commit to any job relationship. Luckily I'm now studying a creative field which is meaningful and challenging. This is one aspect of life that should last me a lifetime of endless learning. Now that summer is coming and I can't yet work directly in my chosen field so I tend to think I would rather not get a job at all.

So, my fellow ENFPs, what have you done to make ends meet?

I-m an ENFP and of course I do also find difficulties in ending up a project when motivation has left me away...and I start and give up, then start and give up on another thing much more interesting.... but seemingly I achieve proficiency in none. Its all very frustrating when you analyze youself at this point and discover the so much scattered piece of whatever you are XD. My trick is to hardly commit myself to end it, in spite I can-t stand what I-m doing or viewing no sense in it, sometimes things have to be achieved because you have committed to it, and it-s a task of responsibility that we, ENFP cannot leave our feelings to take away. Think about it

 

[Rebeka]

2) I hate bureaucracy and housework with a vengeance. It is mindboggling boring, always comes back, you're never done with it and it doesn't gain me any satisfaction at all, not to mention it feels like something you get forced into again (see 1)). These days, I've found that if I need to mull things over, I just get started on a simple task that needs doing as well, that way I don't feel pressured for that task and I can put my mind to work on something else.

3) I *suck* at finding things. Like, seriously suck at it. I have my INTJ find it all for me, because, even if I bother, I'll go over a spot 4 times and still not find the item I need.

I LOOOOOL with the number 2!! I DO hate bureaucracy as hell!!, it brings me out or my nerves that non/sense of calls, papers and stuffs that have you occupied on laws and things that lead nowhere but are fuckinly necessary in this life XD with household its true that as long as you-ve finished, there-s nothing to it, because you have to tidy up all over.

Another thing that caugh my attention.... I understand your mate is an INTJ, how are you coping with that inward, coldness and stubborness of behaviour XD

 

[Amargith]

I LOOOOOL with the number 2!! I DO hate bureaucracy as hell!!, it brings me out or my nerves that non/sense of calls, papers and stuffs that have you occupied on laws and things that lead nowhere but are fuckinly necessary in this life XD with household its true that as long as you-ve finished, there-s nothing to it, because you have to tidy up all over.

Another thing that caugh my attention.... I understand your mate is an INTJ, how are you coping with that inward, coldness and stubborness of behaviour XD

He's not like that with me

Don't get me wrong, it's his default 'armor' to deal with the world and yes, he needs time away from that world to recharge. That includes me, to certain extent, that he disappears inside 'his mind' or inside the internet for a minimum of 30min-1h a day to recharge. But he's fine with me being in the same room and even cuddling as I'm not just anyone.

The key part is respect for each other's way of thinking and living, ime. Yes, he can be cold and stubborn but because he respects my judgement and *likes* that I'm weird and extraverted, he values me and isn't like that in his interactions with me. Similarly, I value his rock-anchoring quality, and that stubbornness also translates into decisiveness - something I can be generally bad at because I see so many options. And his introversion means I don't have to constantly be 'on', I can just relax and sit quietly with him in a room and enjoy his company.

Meanwhile, he's not cold with me, in fact, he's rather affectionate and playful when he relaxes.

It also helps that we come to the same conclusions but via a different way. In fact, he is so certain about his conclusions, that at first, it stumped him that I came to the same ones through 'irrational' means he normally would've dismissed or been sceptical about. Iow, my way baffled him but he couldn't argue with the results - and that helps a lot in making them want to interact with you and giving you the benefit of the doubt when you *do* disagree - which effectively neutralises the stubbornness

 

[1487610420]

too many feels

 

[Amargith]

too many feels

Wrong thread, hon, you're looking for the ENTP one

 

[1487610420]

Wrong thread, hon, you're looking for the ENTP one

[ENFP] Common ENFP issues

 

[Amargith]

Precisely. So, find the ENTP one if you need less feelz

 

[Qlip]

Precisely. So, find the ENTP one if you need less feelz

As an ENFP, a common issue for me is that I often feel like I don't have quite enough feels.

 

[Amargith]

As an ENFP, a common issue for me is that I often feel like I don't have quite enough feels.

Really?

I find that other people often have a lot more feelz than I do, but are seriously unaware of them, like, non-stop. It's kinda...weird to watch.

I may be high on the feelz-scale, but at least I know they're there..I think

 

[1487610420]

Precisely. So, find the ENTP one if you need less feelz

your fani

 

[Qlip]

Really?

I find that other people often have a lot more feelz than I do, but are seriously unaware of them, like, non-stop. It's kinda...weird to watch.

I may be high on the feelz-scale, but at least I know they're there..I think

No, I gotcha, I definitely have a pretty good map of my feelings, for good or for bad. And I also see a lot of feeling deniers out there, which is an odd position to take for a human being. I was just saying that often enough I see problems that I wish I cared more about, but don't, or people I wished i had more feeling to reach out to. It was an angle on this ENFP not having near enough feels.

 

[Amargith]

No, I gotcha, I definitely have a pretty good map of my feelings, for good or for bad. And I also see a lot of feeling deniers out there, which is an odd position to take for a human being. I was just saying that often enough I see problems that I wish I cared more about, but don't, or people I wished i had more feeling to reach out to. It was an angle on this ENFP not having near enough feels.

But why do you wish to care more? The thing is, we have a tendency to be gluttons - to want to experience it all, I think. Ime, caring about everything in an intense fashion tends to rip you apart at the seams and makes you ineffective at actually doing something with that.

So count your blessings and focus on those things that do pull at your heart. Meanwhile, know that someone else will take care of those other things. At least, that's the approach Ive had to adopt myself, in order to cope and actually accomplish something

 

[VILLANELLE]

Sometimes I start to do something and half-way through I get really bored. But I feel bad for quitting whatever activity I'm doing.

 

[The Cat]

Okay so this may have already been addressed, but 66 pages is a lot and in just trying to read through one page I've forgotten and remembered this question six times, so I better just ask it now and go back through later: Do any other ENFP find that they've been confused or mistyped themselves as other types over the years, whether on purpose (so as to not feel so vulnerable) or by accident(wanting to relate to the other people in our lives)?

 

[Siúil a Rúin]

Do any ENFPs organize their stuff much? Or plan things out?

I know there are some strongly set stereotypes that describe flightiness in ENFPs, but when I read that Carl Rogers is an ENFP, it broadened my perspective on it. I identify a great deal with the way Rogers thinks as the ideal I strive towards. I've actually wondered if I'm an ENFP, although based on the stereotypes people might think its not possible. I've known extreme ENFPs that have the most outlandish creative energy, and I'm different from them being quieter and more serious, but I may relate more to Ne and Fi than to Ni and Fe. I admire Fe in some people, but I can't honestly say it resonates that much when I read descriptions about social norms, hostessing, and groups. I've never had people over for dinner and I'm fairly old. My only possible connection to Fe is being impacted by the emotional climate around me, but I've wondered if that could be Ne filtered through Fi. The main way I connect with people is exploring ideas. My version of small talk is to try to inspire someone with where their creative idea might lead. People also come up to me and tell me about their feelings, although I don't initiate.

My boyfriend is also either INFJ or ENFP, which once again, based on stereotypes people would think you could never confuse the two, but in some people it seems a bit closer. He organizes his stuff more than I do and is into conspiracy theory which makes me think INFJ, but he doesn't plan for practical future and is rather silly.

Also, my creative output is really all over the map from intensely dark emotional realm to silly rabbit songs for children. Based on how most people produce professionally, I do seem like someone with multiple personality disorder. It creates a bit of a problem for me because for the people who respond to one mode of my creativity would be very put off by the other mode. I use one pseudonym for some work, but it is a noticeable thing the level of contrast.

 

[Dreamer]

Okay so this may have already been addressed, but 66 pages is a lot and in just trying to read through one page I've forgotten and remembered this question six times, so I better just ask it now and go back through later: Do any other ENFP find that they've been confused or mistyped themselves as other types over the years, whether on purpose (so as to not feel so vulnerable) or by accident(wanting to relate to the other people in our lives)?

Functionally, I've had little doubt about my typing. I've gone through multiple times seeing the functions and different stackings with a scalpel to see if I can find flaws in the identification. I do however, find myself bored with the type on occasion and will seek out other types with which to identify with, and the other types I tend to choose, upon reflection, seem to be those types that have whatever it is I'm lacking at the time, in abundance. Almost as though my living through a type, even temporary, will imbue me with that type's characteristics. Sounds really weird huh. For example, I'm currently listed as ESFP. Well, I've been in a funk for some months now, and really, really just need to get out of my head and need to distract myself, and I feel Se is the answer. Usually when I change my typing its because I'm getting into costume and want to try it out a while, get into the mind of that type, and see if I can contort my thinking to that stack. I find it to be a lot of fun!

Have you been confused with your type? I assume so since you ask. What leads to the confusion?

 

[The Cat]

Functionally, I've had little doubt about my typing. I've gone through multiple times seeing the functions and different stackings with a scalpel to see if I can find flaws in the identification. I do however, find myself bored with the type on occasion and will seek out other types with which to identify with, and the other types I tend to choose, upon reflection, seem to be those types that have whatever it is I'm lacking at the time, in abundance. Almost as though my living through a type, even temporary, will imbue me with that type's characteristics. Sounds really weird huh. For example, I'm currently listed as ESFP. Well, I've been in a funk for some months now, and really, really just need to get out of my head and need to distract myself, and I feel Se is the answer. Usually when I change my typing its because I'm getting into costume and want to try it out a while, get into the mind of that type, and see if I can contort my thinking to that stack. I find it to be a lot of fun!

Have you been confused with your type? I assume so since you ask. What leads to the confusion?

Well when I got out of the military, I was feeling like super vulnerable, it's a dark long story, that involved some pretty crippling abuse on the dl. Anyway when I got out I felt like it could happen again at any moment, so I threw up my shields, and when I would take the test for class or what have you, I would get ENTP or INTJ When I came here, I had just figured I was like the worst INTJ ever, but I met a friend, who helped me open up and start looking at things from a more genuine perspective, and now when I answer honestly I get ENFP on all the tests. One article I read said that ENFP's are also the type most likley to mistype themselves as another type, due to...reasons I can't recall, and nor did I book mark it apparently so...shoot, but that's all I was just curious if anyone else ever had done something similar?

 

[Dreamer]

Well when I got out of the military, I was feeling like super vulnerable, it's a dark long story, that involved some pretty crippling abuse on the dl. Anyway when I got out I felt like it could happen again at any moment, so I threw up my shields, and when I would take the test for class or what have you, I would get ENTP or INTJ When I came here, I had just figured I was like the worst INTJ ever, but I met a friend, who helped me open up and start looking at things from a more genuine perspective, and now when I answer honestly I get ENFP on all the tests. One article I read said that ENFP's are also the type most likley to mistype themselves as another type, due to...reasons I can't recall, and nor did I book mark it apparently so...shoot, but that's all I was just curious if anyone else ever had done something similar?

I would imagine the Ne/Fi, that allows ENFPs to connect and understand people so fluidly, would also allow them to see themselves in other personalities as well. It's that ability to be able to stick themselves in another's shoes with Fi, and the Ne to see through another perspective. I imagine it leads one to not just see through the perspective of another type, but to "feel" it, leading them to then identify and see that typing within themselves. That'd be my guess. Though, there could always be other decisions made based off emotion as you bring up, absolutely. If that were the case though, it wouldn't be solely tied to ENFPs and rather, a more personal decision. Though, I understand being an ENFP, you also have the unfortunate reality of not fitting into boxes and labels so cleanly. I'm sure that in itself would create confusion on your end, and externally.

Just tossing out some thoughts.

 

[The Cat]

I would imagine the Ne/Fi, that allows ENFPs to connect and understand people so fluidly, would also allow them to see themselves in other personalities as well. It's that ability to be able to stick themselves in another's shoes with Fi, and the Ne to see through another perspective. I imagine it leads one to not just see through the perspective of another type, but to "feel" it, leading them to then identify and see that typing within themselves. That'd be my guess. Though, there could always be other decisions made based off emotion as you bring up, absolutely. If that were the case though, it wouldn't be solely tied to ENFPs and rather, a more personal decision. Though, I understand being an ENFP, you also have the unfortunate reality of not fitting into boxes and labels so cleanly. I'm sure that in itself would create confusion on your end, and externally.

Just tossing out some thoughts.

This makes so much sense. I'll have to feel these out, but feel free to throw out some more, I may fumble them and have to pick them up later, but I feel this has been very helpful so far ^_^