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  1. #671
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    Quote Originally Posted by Littleclaypot View Post
    Wow, a lot of this really spoke to me, but especially having long gaps in correspondence. I am notorious for this and some of my extrovert type friends don't get it. They understand I don't mean to disappear but I still feel guilty about it. Sometimes I just can't help it and need to hide out for awhile. Anyone else feel this way, and if so, how do you cope?
    This sounds just like me. Friends will get mad and impatient for you neglecting a conversation or leaving them. A lot of them seem like they want to talk all day. I love talking to my friends but sometimes, you do need a little break from it. What I've been trying to do is not lose track of time and remember when I've gone too long without answering. I think it can look selfish, although that's not our aim.
    The future's... made of...

  2. #672
    Parody Parrot
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    Quote Originally Posted by Littleclaypot View Post
    Wow, a lot of this really spoke to me, but especially having long gaps in correspondence. I am notorious for this and some of my extrovert type friends don't get it. They understand I don't mean to disappear but I still feel guilty about it. Sometimes I just can't help it and need to hide out for awhile. Anyone else feel this way, and if so, how do you cope?
    Yes very familiar. Not necessarily in terms of correspondence (but that happens too) but more in terms of staying in touch overall. All my friends know this by now and respect that without taking it personally. I had to explain this need for alone time to one friend in particular and ever since he totally understands. The less people pressure me to go out and do something, the more likely I'll actually show up.
    "I’m forever near a stereo saying, ‘What the fuck is this garbage?’ And the answer is always the Red Hot Chili Peppers" ~ Nick Cave

  3. #673
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    Quote Originally Posted by virtualinsanity View Post
    This sounds just like me. Friends will get mad and impatient for you neglecting a conversation or leaving them. A lot of them seem like they want to talk all day. I love talking to my friends but sometimes, you do need a little break from it. What I've been trying to do is not lose track of time and remember when I've gone too long without answering. I think it can look selfish, although that's not our aim.
    I'm glad I'm not the only one. I guess all we can do is be more mindful of it.. I just hate for someone to think of me as a "bad friend," ya know?

  4. #674
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    Quote Originally Posted by meowington View Post
    Yes very familiar. Not necessarily in terms of correspondence (but that happens too) but more in terms of staying in touch overall. All my friends know this by now and respect that without taking it personally. I had to explain this need for alone time to one friend in particular and ever since he totally understands. The less people pressure me to go out and do something, the more likely I'll actually show up.
    Yes!! Staying in touch is hard.. I just don't feel the need sometimes. I've really been having this problem with family lately. Particular family members try to drag me into their problems and I just don't have the energy to deal with it anymore. I also hate that pressure to go out, too!
    Likes meowington, WatchlessThyme liked this post

  5. #675
    Fe this! Z Buck McFate's Avatar
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    I'm just a little bit impressed by this INFJ description, annoying site graphics notwithstanding. Some of the things are dead on.

    Things like this:

    INFJs are often perfectionistic, looking for ultimate compatibility, and yet also look for someone with whom they can grow and improve in tandem. Needless to say, this is a tall order, and INFJs should try to remember that they are a particularly rare personality type their thinking process is just going to be different from most people around them and it's alienating and will always be somewhat alienating, and even if they find someone compatible in that sense, the odds that they will also share every interest are slim. If they don’t learn to meet others halfway and recognize that the kind of self-improvement and depth they demand is simply exhausting for many types, INFJs are likely end up abandoning healthy friendships in their infancy, in search of more perfect compatibilities.

    (ftfy, 16personalities)

    I think it's funny the work "compatibility" came up, because it seems to be such an INFJ buzzword in this forum. So either this person has read this forum or it really is a universal INFJ buzzword. (Or some third option that's not occurring to me. Point is, INFJs gots to have the compatibilitys.)

    The things under the "career paths" and "workplace habits" tabs struck a chord too.
    Reality is a collective hunch. -Lily Tomlin

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    Likes Peter Deadpan liked this post

  6. #676
    Don't touch me. Peter Deadpan's Avatar
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    Guys... I'm struggling, or more accurately, frustrated. I know I'm not alone in feeling like this, but I'm worried I'm not gonna find a romantic life partner worthy of me but who also finds me worthy of them. I need advice on how I can quit obsessing over this. Please note my types, lol... knowing them helps me feel more "normal" or at least typical in behavior, but I'm still embarrassed by my desire/preoccupation with finding Mr. Right. I'm working towards developing hobbies and healthier habits, but ffs, this problem is at my core and I don't know what to do about it. I know I shouldn't stay single forever by pushing guys away, but I also know I can't be crazy picky either, right??? The hard part is that I'm actually very socially anxious, so tips like "join a group" or "meet new people through friends" are completely out for me atm. Online dating is... ugh... depressing, discouraging, and also how I met my last ex, so leaves a bad taste in my mouth. (I do finally feel about 80% over my ex, so that is at least a positive growth milestone).

    To be clear, I'm more frustrated than desperate, more anxious than lonely, more confused than depressed. I'm not sure that's any better, lol, but I'm no longer some sad sack of shit.

    Also, I think men are intimidated by me, especially the types I like (introverted intuitive types). Do you think I'd intimidate guys and make it too hard for them to approach me??? Also, I'm open to suggestions for what types you guys think would be a good match for me, even though I have some ideas of my own (no, not just INFJ either).

    Thanks guys!!! (Insert awkward joke to lighten the mood and distract from my transparency/vulnerability)
    dead·pan
    /ˈded,pan/
    adjective: deliberately impassive or expressionless.

    ¯\_(ツ)_/¯



  7. #677
    Don't touch me. Peter Deadpan's Avatar
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    ^^^Already regretting this post.
    dead·pan
    /ˈded,pan/
    adjective: deliberately impassive or expressionless.

    ¯\_(ツ)_/¯



  8. #678
    one way trip Abendrot's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Peter Deadpan View Post
    I'm worried I'm not gonna find a romantic life partner worthy of me but who also finds me worthy of them. I need advice on how I can quit obsessing over this.
    First of all, I like the way you think about "worthiness". It is very similar to my outlook.

    I think you are placing undue importance on a relationship with a man. I say that the best way to work it out is to solve your issues first, and then find someone you can share your happiness with. My belief is that happy people become happier in a relationship, and miserable people become more miserable. Therefore the priority should be happiness first, relationship second. Well, I think this advice generally applies for men, but it might be a bit of a stretch for women. Still, maybe you need to take it easy (or at least, easier than you are taking it right now), and look for relationships to arise more naturally.

    Quote Originally Posted by Peter Deadpan View Post
    To be clear, I'm more frustrated than desperate, more anxious than lonely, more confused than depressed. I'm not sure that's any better, lol, but I'm no longer some sad sack of shit.
    That's good. Cut yourself some slack for making progress, and encourage yourself to keep it up.

    Quote Originally Posted by Peter Deadpan View Post
    this problem is at my core and I don't know what to do about it.
    Is there a more fundamental issue that you are not discussing?

    Quote Originally Posted by Peter Deadpan View Post
    Do you think I'd intimidate guys and make it too hard for them to approach me?
    I don't think you are intimidating. You are very open and approachable, actually. If a man is intimidated by you, he is probably not worth your time.

    Quote Originally Posted by Peter Deadpan View Post
    The hard part is that I'm actually very socially anxious, so tips like "join a group" or "meet new people through friends" are completely out for me atm.
    Really? I would never have guessed from the antics you pull on this forum.
    Likes Peter Deadpan, fidelia liked this post

  9. #679
    Don't touch me. Peter Deadpan's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Abendrot View Post
    First of all, I like the way you think about "worthiness". It is very similar to my outlook.

    I think you are placing undue importance on a relationship with a man. I say that the best way to work it out is to solve your issues first, and then find someone you can share your happiness with. My belief is that happy people become happier in a relationship, and miserable people become more miserable. Therefore the priority should be happiness first, relationship second. Well, I think this advice generally applies for men, but it might be a bit of a stretch for women. Still, maybe you need to take it easy (or at least, easier than you are taking it right now), and look for relationships to arise more naturally.



    That's good. Cut yourself some slack for making progress, and encourage yourself to keep it up.



    Is there a more fundamental issue that you are not discussing?
    Not really, besides basic self-esteem issues. I think I'm at a point where my awareness of my issues is actually of benefit to me though. They're not as destructive anymore. (These are core 4 fears, and I think Sx makes me more preoccupied with desire/intensity)


    I don't think you are intimidating. You are very open, actually. If a guy is intimidated by you, he is probably not worth your time.
    Thank you, I needed to hear that.


    Really? I would never have guessed from the antics you pull on this forum.
    Yeah, I get that a lot. I'm like this on Facebook too, but the Internet is a pretty safe place to let loose. I'm also like this with my closest friends, but with others I appear almost 5-ish at times (shocking, I know). The thing with social anxiety is that it's not predictable, so I have no idea which side of me will present in social situations. I can be painfully awkward/quiet or the life of the party.
    dead·pan
    /ˈded,pan/
    adjective: deliberately impassive or expressionless.

    ¯\_(ツ)_/¯



  10. #680
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    Do you guys think Aux Fe can be triggered through Tert Ti?

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