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[INFJ] INFJ intense and deep

kyli_ryan

Member
Joined
Jul 16, 2010
Messages
288
MBTI Type
INFJ
Enneagram
2wX
Instinctual Variant
so/sx
I know I'm intense and a deep thinker, and for the most part I like that about myself. BUT, I also am terrible at taking criticism - I take things much too personally and can sometimes make mountains out of molehills.

I can totally relate to being referred to as "intense" and "deep," and it's definitely not always in a good way. I don't, however, take myself TOO seriously and am able to take criticism faily well... especially because I'm my own worst critic. ;)
I find that people who are critical of me because of my "intensity" are generally put off by my striving to "figure them out"... even when I don't purposely set out to do it, I usually become the most involved with those people that I feel "need" me emotionally. I think that those kinds of people are also the ones who are least likely to be open to my prying and "fix it" nature.
 

CuriousFeeling

From the Undertow
Joined
Dec 18, 2009
Messages
2,937
MBTI Type
INfJ
Enneagram
4w5
Instinctual Variant
sp/sx
I can come off as intense and serious, a bit headstrong too, but when I loosen up with someone I feel I can trust, then the deep stuff comes out. I love discussing philosophical topics, meanings of song lyrics and art, how and why things happen in life, scientific conversations, you name it. The more emotional the conversation gets, especially discussing about the beauty of music and art, the better.

Trouble is, sometimes my emotional intensity over things I enjoy or value sometimes might make people think I'm weird. I sometimes take myself way too seriously, and go off somewhere on my own and brood for a bit whenever I'm angry at myself. Yay for being sensitive!
 

kccrush

New member
Joined
Apr 23, 2010
Messages
53
MBTI Type
INFJ
Yeah, it's one thing when you're boss calls you intense (as in stop it, you're scaring the junior level employees...) and when your gf says you're intense (as in where'd I find you, you're amazing...). Either way, it is probably just because of the things you're saying and the way you react to the world, which is probably nothing like this other person has ever considered. Alas, that's the unique and mysterious (not always understood) way of the INFJ. :)
 

The Outsider

New member
Joined
Feb 3, 2009
Messages
2,418
MBTI Type
intp
Enneagram
5w4
Instinctual Variant
sx
I don't think the thread title is necessarily correct. In fact, it's likely incorrect more often than it is correct, though there are exceptions.
 

mochajava

New member
Joined
Jul 28, 2010
Messages
475
MBTI Type
INFJ
I read through all these descriptions and was like, "this sounds like me". Goodness, this forum is getting addictive. To quote some in particular (until I figure out "multi-quoting"), here are the ones I really liked:
-aquarelle
-CuriousFeeling
-kyli_ryan
-cascadeco - my social life is easier when I can access that bubbly side I've got. But with the people I value most? I need to express both.
-eclare
-KLessard
 

Moiety

New member
Joined
Aug 3, 2008
Messages
5,996
MBTI Type
ISFJ
He wasn't smoking anything! The description he gave sounds very much like an INFJ and fits me quite well, too. :yes:

Well, nothing sounded particularly INFJ. Maybe the first part about past and future, but even that...it could be another type.

Anyway, that's not the point, I was joking. I certainly don't feel INFJs are this immense pile of mystery though. Not any more than each other type in it's own way. I just see INFJs as megalomaniac. In a passive Fe way.
 
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Phantonym

Guest
I certainly don't feel INFJs are this immense pile of mystery though. Not any more than each other type in it's own way.

Agreed.

I just see INFJs as megalomaniac. In a passive Fe way.

:laugh: Would this be a portrayal by INFJs about themselves or by other people about INFJs?
 

Rachel

New member
Joined
Aug 12, 2010
Messages
71
MBTI Type
INFX
Enneagram
5w4
I used to revel in this deep/intense description of the INFJ. But then i realized it's, at least in my case, it's true but not really. It creates an impression of something special hidden underneath which needs to be uncovered like a precious treasure *rolls eyes*, and that's how i see other types responding when they think "look, a deep and intense INFJ!". It creates unrealistic expectations of what will be uncovered underneath. Not sure it's necessary to have "deep/intense" conversations with someone to feel a connection with them. Most people are probably pretty normal, and not that unusual underneath. I think there are some who are afraid (including myself) that if they don't maintain this deepness or intensity that the interest in them may subside.
 

Onceajoan

New member
Joined
Apr 22, 2010
Messages
239
MBTI Type
INFJ
Enneagram
1w2
Do you ask lots of questions? Do you respond in a serious or inquisitive manner to often light-hearted remarks? Do you randomly start deep and thought-provoking conversations with little incentive from other people? Do you point out a lot of things you notice to people? Are you extremely forward and open about your opinions and observations?

Me ^

They can probably sense your emotional charge underneath the surface of calm reserve.

True.

I used to revel in this deep/intense description of the INFJ. But then i realized it's, at least in my case, it's true but not really. It creates an impression of something special hidden underneath which needs to be uncovered like a precious treasure *rolls eyes*, and that's how i see other types responding when they think "look, a deep and intense INFJ!".

That's because others don't understand. Intensity can be equated with being a drama queen. But it's not how I experience intensity at all. It's not something I try to intentionally inflict upon others or for the purposes of showing off. Intensity is something I feel. It's a burning that's always been there. Both a blessing and a curse. Most of the time, I feel that I'm holding myself back. I don't even let most people see it for fear of being judged. Sometimes people will call me intense and I'm not even sure where they picked up on it.

I also don't think deep and intense are the same thing incidentally. A person can possess an intensity or energy about them and not be deep insofar as being intellectual, philosophical or self reflective.

Not sure it's necessary to have "deep/intense" conversations with someone to feel a connection with them.

No. It's not. But for me it's more meaningful. And I'd like to feel I live a meaningful existence sometimes (if only in my mind).

I think there are some who are afraid (including myself) that if they don't maintain this deepness or intensity that the interest in them may subside.

I'm afraid if I fully express my intensity that interest in me may subside.

I think INFPs are slightly less intense than INFJs because we have this weird tendency to skip along rivers singing "This is the song that never ends".

I don't agree. INFPs are just as intense. They're just better as hiding it.
 

Rachel

New member
Joined
Aug 12, 2010
Messages
71
MBTI Type
INFX
Enneagram
5w4
That's because others don't understand. Intensity can be equated with being a drama queen. But it's not how I experience intensity at all. It's not something I try to intentionally inflict upon others or for the purposes of showing off. Intensity is something I feel. It's a burning that's always been there. Both a blessing and a curse. Most of the time, I feel that I'm holding myself back. I don't even let most people see it for fear of being judged. Sometimes people will call me intense and I'm not even sure where they picked up on it.

Yeah, know the feeling. But I guess my point was more that there is so much focus on the depth/intensity that maybe we're missing the forest because we're looking at the trees. I also think it makes this quality seem so exotic that it makes us less relatable or knowable to anyone who wants a friendship/relationship.

I also don't think deep and intense are the same thing incidentally. A person can possess an intensity or energy about them and not be deep insofar as being intellectual, philosophical or self reflective.

Agree. They shouldn't be confused. Although in the case of the average INFJ, both traits are somehow always interconnected.
 
Joined
Feb 4, 2009
Messages
580
MBTI Type
INFJ
Enneagram
4w5
Well, nothing sounded particularly INFJ. Maybe the first part about past and future, but even that...it could be another type.

Anyway, that's not the point, I was joking. I certainly don't feel INFJs are this immense pile of mystery though. Not any more than each other type in it's own way. I just see INFJs as megalomaniac. In a passive Fe way.

Perhaps you haven't gotten to know one well enough, then.
 
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