And do the rest of you ever get like this?
Used to, because I was in some sort of personal depression/anti-social phase, but not anymore. I am not normally like that when I am emotionally healthy.
When I got like that I pushed everyone I cared about and who cared about me away. Eventually. Some were quicker to go than others but they all eventually went away. When I came out of that phase (just recently) I regretted it deeply because they were no longer there for me.
I desperately tried to reconnect. But by then these people had hurt and healed and moved on. Sure, they were cordial with me but it was superficial and that deep connection was gone. They had forgiven but had not forgotten, and consequently, lost their desire to connect with me. These were good people and good people are hard to find. I grieve the loss now. I will never ever do that again. Lesson learned.
I guess my point is, if you don't want to lose her as a friend and have the energy, I think you should push through it and compromise by giving her a little more contact. If you make a certain routine out of it (i.e. only talk at the same time everyday or whatever) and stick to it then she will learn when and when not to engage you while minimizing the potential hurt to her. You could tell her that you have to keep the schedule, and yes, this will make you seem rigid but she will get over that and it will get you both what you want.
If you truly like this woman, when you do engage with her at specific times be sure to show interest (i.e. approach her first and have give and take interaction) and be free of any resentment or that will show and will deteriorate the friendship.
On the other hand, if after an honest assessment of what you need right now, you conclude that you will be just fine without her in your life (i.e. you don't value her that much) or that it is more taxing that it's worth to keep her around, then just ignore her as much as you can. Be curt with her in the situations where it's not prudent to ignore her, and never approach her for interaction. She will eventually get the hint. Most humans do. Saying "I'm busy" along with never attempting to interact with her is also a polite and effective way to make her desire to connect with you fade to black quicker.
Colors is completely spot on with her post. My ISFJ sister is perhaps hugest victim of this. What she thinks is self-evident, turns out to be rather easy to miss by most individuals. [And as a heads up, don't backtrack on your established boundaries. My sister does this all the time since she can't help but feel sorry for the other person.]
