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[MBTI General] NF's not standing NT's

INA

now! in shell form
Joined
Jun 6, 2008
Messages
3,195
MBTI Type
intp
I also resent this idea that an NF needs a T to "think" for them :dry: (and when some NFs say this themselves, I cringe). I think just fine for myself & am in control of my own emotions, thanks! :tongue:.
I can relate. I find it a bit offensive when people talk as if any given holy T will come down from the mountain dispensing rationality to starved Feelers. I also get incensed by Fs who assume that as Fs they have a better handle on people and feelings than all Ts, especially when they assert this while displaying the most selfish/cruel but emotion-driven behavior.
 

prplchknz

Well-known member
Joined
Jun 11, 2007
Messages
34,397
MBTI Type
yupp
i get along with NTs and NFs but I tend to butt heads more with other NFs.
 

Words of Ivory

facettes de la petite mor
Joined
Jun 19, 2010
Messages
492
MBTI Type
INFJ
Some of my best friends are ENTPs. People I have a notoriously hard time getting along with on a personal level have a high tendency to be INTPs.

Make of that what you will.

You can never pigeon-hole with MTBI. WoodsWoman said it best; with maturity comes balance.
 

entropie

Permabanned
Joined
Apr 24, 2008
Messages
16,767
MBTI Type
entp
Enneagram
783
Oh come on, I am at my best when I am being immature :D
 

LightSun

Well-known member
Joined
Aug 9, 2009
Messages
1,107
MBTI Type
INFP
Enneagram
#9
I must confess, i have met many an interesting NT. I do find them fascinating and admire their discipline with mind and calm, cool collected thought. I absolutely strive for a mixture of the two elements of both emotional intelligence as well cognitive discipline. There was something that did astound me, and that was not all NT's happen being rational. Rather they can be overrun by emotion and do not possess the mental discipline i usually attribute to them. I have a thought that what intrigues me with the NT is we are, or happen being both intuitives. That is the bonding solution. Oh by the way a call to arms for the NF's, don't you want to see amore perfect envirionment and the world we live on. I happen having a "change" thread which has not received a response. I am confounded, in addition mortified that there is not a compassionate outpouring of ideas to make this a better planet.
 

mochajava

New member
Joined
Jul 28, 2010
Messages
475
MBTI Type
INFJ
My most exciting and passionate romantic relationships have been with other NFs. The NT ones feel a bit more straightforward, but they do have a stability to them. My "F" is big; I don't know if I could handle anotherone.

I'm currently half of an INTJ-INFJ pair, and it works nicely, though sometimes I feel like I'm very "high maintenance" or I just don't really see what I bring to the table.

I've heard/read a number of NF women, usually NFP's, talk about how, umm, not level-headed??? they are, and how they need a strong T to help show them ?be rational? and less ?emotionally-all-over-the-place?.
Yes, I think I fall into this bucket, unfortunately. But I don't need to be shown how to be rational; if there were a way for me to do that, you wouldn't see that ginormous "F" in my type label. I need someone to not be flying off the handle at the same time as me.

Offhand: I seem to be surrounded by INFJs and INTJs in my life! Maybe these are the only people I can feel close to. The other types we do can do things that seem close (hang out, call each other, share a lot) but it just doesn't feel the same.

@lightsun - I like the concept of your thread, but got overwhelmed at how much there was to read through!
 

chelsea

New member
Joined
Aug 17, 2010
Messages
44
MBTI Type
INFJ
Every NT I have know has been arrogant and cold, lost in politics and their own projects, not open to other points of view at all.

I can't say about all NT's, but I've noticed that from a few NT's on this board. Also some very lovely ones as well of course! :)
 

Vamp

New member
Joined
Jul 2, 2010
Messages
579
MBTI Type
ENFP
I know one confirmed INTP that I always want to strangle most of the time until I guilt him into not being a jackass anymore.

I get along better with ESFPs, ESTJs, and ESFJs. I kinda like sensors. Maybe too much.

I don't know any other ENFPs, :(
 

freeeekyyy

Cheeseburgers
Joined
Feb 13, 2010
Messages
1,384
MBTI Type
INTJ
Enneagram
5w4
Instinctual Variant
sx/sp
I think it depends on whether your dominant function is judging or perceiving. An INFP or ENFJ should be with a fellow NF. However, an ENFP or INFJ I think will do better with an NT. This is what many of the relationship recommendations you see online seem to suggest, too.
 

CzeCze

RETIRED
Joined
Sep 11, 2007
Messages
8,975
MBTI Type
GONE
There are definitely examples of abrasive kinda clueless NTs. There are NTs I am friends with but couldn't imagine dating because I don't really "get" them. Meaning I can't catch their vibe so in a romantic relationship I would just be wondering what is going on. So much of a successful and happy relationship is about nonverbal and how the person makes you feel. I think id just be like hmmmmmmm...with some people. I also couldn't be with a loudmouth NFP or really any type that causes friction but either isn't aware or doesn't care, I think that is the connecting thread with NFs or NTs that people complain about.

This is why I prefer working with Intjs I find that they are refreshingly non emo as opposed to abrasive. I don't mind a lack of warmth or smiley faces but I can bristle at the addition of condecension or undeserved arrogance.

Also nts can be very sweet even warm and sociable. I could see a relationship with one working well I think wonkas description of fe/fe and fi/fi is very true. Of course, I'm quite fond of fe in those I date am friends with as well I think its more they would have problems with me and interpret my behavior as not caring as much as I should.

I also cringe when I hear nf women saying they need the rationality or support of an nt male. That's a really foreign thought to me as I grew up always very confident in my impressive intelligence LOLOL. Srsly though I don't think any of my nf female friends think like this either and would prolly be insulted if you insinuated that. I've said this before but if you need support for your emotional nature another feeler can be great.

I think my experience is different bc I grew up in a very cold nt environment and I had to fend for myself emotionally. Not sure why anyone would seek that out for "comfort" Krajee.
 

musicnerd93

New member
Joined
Apr 19, 2010
Messages
249
MBTI Type
INFP
Enneagram
4w5
I have read a lot about how NF's are supposed to match romantically with NT's. This makes no sense to me. My husband is an ESFJ or an ENFJ and he is wonderful. Every NT I have know has been arrogant and cold, lost in politics and their own projects, not open to other points of view at all. Why in the world do the books match up NF's and NT's?

I read somewhere that N's are naturally attracted to other N's because we admire eachother's creativity.

Personally, NTPs I have no problem with. I quite like them. NTJs, I'm known to not get along with so well, though.

But, yes, romantically speaking, I don't think they should be paired. Do we make good friends with eachother? Absolutly! But romantic partners? No. Don't see it happening. (Except maybe INFP with INTP, I can see.)

Of course, there are many NT-NF relationships that work out very well. It all just depends on the individuals and how well they can handle eachother's weaknesses. If the NT can learn to be more soft when criticizing an NF, and if an NF can learn to not be so fluffy, then I think they get along fine.
 

JivinJeffJones

New member
Joined
Apr 25, 2007
Messages
3,702
MBTI Type
INFP
The young ones can be irritating but you could say that about all the temperaments.
20100713_oldman_250x375.jpg
 

CzeCze

RETIRED
Joined
Sep 11, 2007
Messages
8,975
MBTI Type
GONE
Forgot to say I have nothing against any types or quads. Nf nt can definitely work you see all sorts of real pairings irl described through this forum.. like intp esfj or entj infp. The world is a big place and there is huge variety within one type.
 

mochajava

New member
Joined
Jul 28, 2010
Messages
475
MBTI Type
INFJ
CzeCze: I also cringe when I hear nf women saying they need the rationality or support of an nt male.
Me too. They've fallen prey to so much societal crap, namely the bullshit that says feeling or thinking is better (neither is better nor worse). And then there's the whole gender thing. I like that you're confident in your intelligence.

Tell me more about getting along with NTs... I am not good at getting along w/ abhrasive people whom I don't fundamentally get.

JivinJeffJones: The young ones can be irritating but you could say that about all the temperaments.

You found the PERFECT photo!
 
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Vamp

New member
Joined
Jul 2, 2010
Messages
579
MBTI Type
ENFP
Me too. They've fallen prey to so much societal crap, namely the bullshit that says feeling or thinking is better (neither is better nor worse). And then there's the whole gender thing. I like that your confident in your intelligence.

Tell me more about getting along with NTs... I am not good at getting along w/ abhrasive people whom I don't fundamentally get.



You found the PERFECT photo!

Exactly. It's like saying they're a hysterical headless chicken that needs a Sean Connery or old school 1940s movie type to slap them and stop their silly woman feelings. It's probably not even true for them; they just think it is, it's just that socially we tend to believe that a woman who's a feeler NEEDS a slap.
 

Billy

Crazy Diamond
Joined
Oct 20, 2009
Messages
1,192
MBTI Type
INFJ
It depends on the people involved, but I have yet to be in a relationship with an NT or any T where I felt as though I mattered to them enough.
 

Vamp

New member
Joined
Jul 2, 2010
Messages
579
MBTI Type
ENFP
Why do NTs always (try to) antagonize NFs? Especially when NFs are trying to put over things they have a natural predisposition to (like the social situations thread). Are NTs really that insecure?
 
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