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[MBTI General] NF's not standing NT's

Tabula

New member
Joined
Jun 16, 2010
Messages
302
MBTI Type
IxFx
Enneagram
9w1
Instinctual Variant
so/sx
There are many I have great respect and admiration for. I have noticed a general trend in my relations with some of them (of course, as always, it depends on the individual, but this is just something I've noticed); I am usually intimidated by/ill at ease with INTP women and ENTP (ESTPs, too) men. I don't really know why, and this is my issue, not theirs, but I still think it's relevant, as, I think, it has something to do with communication. With the few confirmed INTJs I've known personally, (1 woman 2 men) there seemed to be this "mutual understanding" that went on. I felt more comfortable sharing some very personal problems with one of the men, than with my NF friend. I never feel like they are judging me, and there is this sense of saintly patience and calmness that surrounds every interaction I have had with them. I really appreciate their insight and vision into things, as well as when I would ask for help with something, this INTJ man would help me to come up with some REAL applicable answers, and all without even a hint of judgment or any feeling of having been personally criticized/talked down to. I always knew that he was critiquing my ideas, and not me. (I realize that with xNTPs, it is usually the same thing. What I mean is that, I never FEEL personally criticized when an xNTJ says it, but do when an xNTP does something similar. Again, this is totally my problem, as it's not the xNTPs' responsibility to ascertain and adhere to my style of interaction/communication. I just think that the communication style/dynamic of mine and xNTJs' is more compatible/complementary, naturally. This is something I definitely need to work on.) Even with some xNTJs that I have had only brief contact with, I felt this same thing to a lesser degree. I realize this sounds very one-way, and this is not the only thing I appreciate about them. Just on a personal level, this has been my experience.

Of every type, theoretically/hypothetically at least, I think that I am most compatible with an xNTJ.
 

lunalum

Super Senior Member
Joined
Dec 20, 2008
Messages
2,706
MBTI Type
ZNTP
Enneagram
7w6
Instinctual Variant
sp/so
NTP's are really awesome when they develop Extroverted Feeling. That's all I have to say.

How much developing is needed for awesome, may I ask?

The Fe in a lot of INTPs is lucky to get a little bit of sunlight. Actually being aware of it, I think, would be a lot of development.

I'm not as terrible at extroverted feeling as I may seem. My social cluelessness goes beyond type. I am very nice to people, as far as I'm aware, but if someone was hurt by something I said, I wouldn't be able to tell unless they practically slapped me and said "I'm angry, goshdarnit!" The key to being able to stand such cluelessness is to go and tell us in literal terms how you are feeling. Blame incompetence before meanness.

Other than that, I don't see a reason for NFs to not stand all NTs. There are some that have issues that go beyond type, but others that are cool, and others that are balanced enough that type doesn't present issues at all. And I think I am getting along with NFs pretty well so far...
 

Arclight

Permabanned
Joined
Nov 5, 2009
Messages
3,177
MBTI Type
INFJ
Enneagram
6w5
They have this nasty tendency to attack the person, instead of the idea, when they don't agree with something..
 
A

A window to the soul

Guest
I have read a lot about how NF's are supposed to match romantically with NT's. This makes no sense to me. My husband is an ESFJ or an ENFJ and he is wonderful. Every NT I have know has been arrogant and cold, lost in politics and their own projects, not open to other points of view at all. Why in the world do the books match up NF's and NT's?

That does not describe NT's as a whole. If you allow yourself to become jaded by nilly willy past experiences, then you limit your future possibilities. There are jackasses in every type.

:jesus:
 

skylights

i love
Joined
Jul 6, 2010
Messages
7,756
MBTI Type
INFP
Enneagram
6w7
Instinctual Variant
so/sx
They have this nasty tendency to attack the person, instead of the idea, when they don't agree with something..

yeah. that'd be my complaint too. that's NTPs though, mainly ENTPs. i've never really felt attacked by an NTJ. they just are cold and ignore people. ;)

Your fingers slipped alot, you're forgiven.

:laugh:

i generally really like NTs. probably connect with them better on average than any of the other non-NF types. no problems from this NF.
 
G

Glycerine

Guest
I really don't mind NTs. Most i know are very socially aware but at the same they will vent to how incompetent some people are.
 

Torai

New member
Joined
May 7, 2008
Messages
88
MBTI Type
INFJ
Enneagram
9w1
Instinctual Variant
sx/so
I don't need a lot of Extroverted Feeling. The more they have, the more I prefer them, though. Just enough to not attack me and my ideas every chance they get. This does not describe all NTP's. I am aware of that, but a few of them are prone to that.

On the bright side, NTPs are incredibly funny. :D
 

Chiharu

New member
Joined
Feb 22, 2011
Messages
662
MBTI Type
ENFP
Enneagram
7w6
Instinctual Variant
sx/so
It depends what the NF or NT is looking for, I guess.

Being ENFP, I'm attracted to many different types of people, for different reasons. With NTs, I'm really drawn to INTJ men. Other the other hand, I am incapable of getting along with NT women for any extended period of time. My experience with male NTs is that I usually frighten them off, but I seem to meet mostly INTP's and ENTP's, and my experience with INTJ seemed much more positive.

NFs and NTs are generally paired together because they speak the same language, but are different enough to attract.

S's speak a different language, and communication is so important in a relationship. NF's speak the same language, but are more similar. As an NF, SPs are mysterious because we're so different and seem like better friends to me, with the possible exception of ESFPs for me personally, and SJs don't attract me at all... they're great friends, but a relationship with an SJ sounds horrific to me.

With other NFs... I'm drawn to other ENFPs romantically, but I wonder sometimes if that sort relationship would burn out. Does anyone have any experience with that? As for INFJs, which ENFPs are often paired with... it doesn't work for me, and I don't know why. It's the sort of relationship where everything seems like it should work. I think with the shared NF making you so similar, the I/E J/P difference is just irritating.
 

Elfboy

Certified Sausage Smoker
Joined
Nov 26, 2008
Messages
9,625
MBTI Type
ENFP
Enneagram
5w4
Instinctual Variant
sx/sp
I love NTs. if anything, NFJs get on my nerves (actually, FJs in general really get on my nerves with their emotional emplosivity and incessant guilt tripping). all you need to do to get along with an NT is ask them about something they know about or share a piece of information with them that they might find useful.
 

Elfboy

Certified Sausage Smoker
Joined
Nov 26, 2008
Messages
9,625
MBTI Type
ENFP
Enneagram
5w4
Instinctual Variant
sx/sp
It depends what the NF or NT is looking for, I guess.

Being ENFP, I'm attracted to many different types of people, for different reasons. With NTs, I'm really drawn to INTJ men. Other the other hand, I am incapable of getting along with NT women for any extended period of time. My experience with male NTs is that I usually frighten them off, but I seem to meet mostly INTP's and ENTP's, and my experience with INTJ seemed much more positive.

NFs and NTs are generally paired together because they speak the same language, but are different enough to attract.

S's speak a different language, and communication is so important in a relationship. NF's speak the same language, but are more similar. As an NF, SPs are mysterious because we're so different and seem like better friends to me, with the possible exception of ESFPs for me personally, and SJs don't attract me at all... they're great friends, but a relationship with an SJ sounds horrific to me.

With other NFs... I'm drawn to other ENFPs romantically, but I wonder sometimes if that sort relationship would burn out. Does anyone have any experience with that?
As for INFJs, which ENFPs are often paired with... it doesn't work for me, and I don't know why. It's the sort of relationship where everything seems like it should work. I think with the shared NF making you so similar, the I/E J/P difference is just irritating.

SO true, but to answer your question, I'm not sure how 2 ENFPs in a relationship could possibly get boring. you have not 1 but 2 Ne doms with Fi which equals adventure, suspense. romance and spontineity (and lots of sex lol). ENFPs come in so much variety too that it's impossible to get bored. trying to burn out an ENFP is like trying to peel all the layers off of a moon sized onion.
 
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