[ENFP] ENFJ and ENFP Females: What do you Hate/Like about them?

[Thalassa]

Am I the only ENFP who doesn't think all ENFPs are god's gift?

Really, people, no. Frequently my own kind bothers the shit out of me.

Oh, but I think ENFPs and ENFJs are both warm, open, lovable, approachable people who are usually fun to be with.

 

[Glycerine]

Interesting, I know I have many faults but moral superiority is definitely not one of them.
I would say my ENFP sister and I are about same on that.

I think I can be manipulative, "know-it-all", controlling, easily annoyed, judgmental (at times), brooding, play the victim, conflict averse, talk too much, passive-aggressive, likes attention, won't let things go, worry too much, won't ask for help, too reserved, noncomittal, anti-authority, gossipy.

Positives: Accepting, open-minded (generally), rather blunt/direct/honest, dependable when it counts, flexible, easy-going, complimentary, diplomatic, considerate, can admit when I am wrong.

Sister negatives: She will spread your business around...she doesn't really have a filter unless you tell her "don't say anything", she will cut you off if you bore her, she's a bit self-centered, and needs constant validation and attention, a little judgmental, she will ram her beliefs down your throat, bossy, gossipy, if she doesn't see the value in it, she will dismiss it even if it's important to the other person, can be really loud and boisterous

Positive: Open-minded, lets things go, fun, affectionate, has good intentions, open to new experiences, great people skills, complimentary, engaging, honest, creative, very individualistic.

 

[Thalassa]

Ha..I think the way you describe your sister sounds pretty ENFP, and I relate to the negatives except for "cuts you off if you bore her"...I've always been pretty intense for an ENFP...I don't necessarily have that path of dead bodies left in my wake...I've had some of the same best friends since high school...I keep in touch with people who meant a lot to me ten or fifteen years ago...I tend to form very deep attachments, have a hard time letting go, am loyal in relationships.

 

[Glycerine]

That's awesome! I was trying really hard to give a balanced view between me and my sister.

 

[Sparrow]

ENFJ pros: Encouraging, friendly, loyal, great leaders, outgoing, responsible, charismatic, always makes an effort to create harmony, strives for win-win solutions, truly cares for people

ENFJ cons: Overly sensitive, people pleasers, takes things to personally, can be melodramatic, forgets to take care of themselves, critical of opinions/attitudes that don't match their own

 

[musicnerd93]

Well, all the ENFP's I know are male, so, I can't really say anything about the female ones. Except I've never met an ENFP I didn't like. I find them very charming and witty and fun to be around. Selfless, loyal friends. Extremely artistic and just all over great people. Though, sometimes they act like they're not paying attention, which I know I'm guilty of as well, so, I should just be quiet.

ENFJ women:

Love: I think they're so much fun! They're energetic, outgoing, love to laugh and can always make me laugh. Sensitive, loyal to their friends, willing to help you when you've got a problem. They also don't really care what anyone thinks about them. Very creative. They're uninhibited and, from what I can tell, make friends very, very easily. They're extremely charming individuals, aren't they?

Dislove: Well, this is just from my own personal experience with an ENFJ, so I can't say its accurate for all. But, it seemed like whenever she was in a relationship, her boyfriend was more important than I was, and if it were him or me dangling off the edge of the cliff, she would choose him. She'd always try to control my life, like when I was perfectly happy being single she would tell me that I needed to find a boyfriend. Or she thought I was too shy and needed to be more outgoing. (Which I like my shy self perfectly the way I am. ) She could also say really callous things sometimes. (But if I let her know it upset me she always apologized and gave me a hug. )

Yeah...that's pretty much it...

 

[Lady_X]

ENFJ's are extremely fake and it is obviously so. They have this social mask they wear and its almost as if you can't get past it. Very manipulative and is the type of person to stab you in the back and do it while smiling wide in your face. Although they are warm, sweet, and open to a certain extent their judgementalism and morally superior attitude is just too much to deal. They seem to know what is best for everyone. They love to know everyone else's business. Very cutthroat in a round about way. Will cut down anyone they view as competition in a passive aggressive way. Like to talk shit and heavily judge others which is in large contrast to the fact that they don't like conflict. Overall really fake females who are really into what they wear and cutting down other females who are prettier, smarter, and more talented than them. :steam:

ENFP's are 100 times more genuine than ENFJ's. Easy to get along with funny, spontaneous, go with the flow, open minded, and likes to try new experiences. Make good friends and are endlessly optimistic. They come across as naive because they don't focus on negative outcomes as much. Hippie, free- spirits. ENFp's are the best friend you can ever ask for.

ENFJ is the best friend you find out later was backstabbing you the whole time.

whoa...wth yo!

 

[angell_m]

Like:
Everything.

Dislike:

 

[Thalassa]

t seemed like whenever she was in a relationship, her boyfriend was more important than I was, and if it were him or me dangling off the edge of the cliff, she would choose him...like when I was perfectly happy being single she would tell me that I needed to find a boyfriend.

Is it really, really fair to try to make your friend choose you over her boyfriend? Maybe that's why she kept saying you might need a boyfriend.

No offense.

 

[Vamp]

Am I the only ENFP who doesn't think all ENFPs are god's gift?

Yes.
The rest of us love our type. And we're egotistical. But really, if we don't who will? All my life all I've ever gotten is the "you're weird, I don't know what to make of you so I'll treat you like a joke" treatment so if anyone can appreciate ENFP-ness I'll darn well help them.

 

[Thalassa]

Yes.
The rest of us love our type. And we're egotistical.

I think that it's the egotistical stuff that I find repulsive. I mean, there ARE undesirable ENFPs....people who are mean, selfish sociopaths, etc.

I just don't like to idealize any type, especially not my own.

But really, if we don't who will?

Apparently we actually get a lot of romantic and sexual attention, as a type.

All my life all I've ever gotten is the "you're weird, I don't know what to make of you so I'll treat you like a joke" treatment so if anyone can appreciate ENFP-ness I'll darn well help them.

Yeah, on one hand I can understand that, but I think all types need to be appreciated and understood, and I find myself getting annoyed other ENFPs sometimes just like anyone else.

 

[You]

They never can make up their mind. The most inconsistent girls in the world - they try manipulating you - and never are straight-forward and direct in communication.

 

[Vamp]

I think that it's the egotistical stuff that I find repulsive. I mean, there ARE undesirable ENFPs....people who are mean, selfish sociopaths, etc.

I just don't like to idealize any type, especially not my own.




Apparently we actually get a lot of romantic and sexual attention, as a type.



Yeah, on one hand I can understand that, but I think all types need to be appreciated and understood, and I find myself getting annoyed other ENFPs sometimes just like anyone else.

I get what you're saying but at the same time I'm not going to guilt myself into self hatred just because ENFPs are not a *gasp* perfect type. I'm not idealizing ENFP as a type but I'm not going to inflict damage on myself over my type.
ENFPs are more of a fetish to those who give us a lot of attention, that's not true appreciation.

 

[Thalassa]

I get what you're saying but at the same time I'm not going to guilt myself into self hatred just because ENFPs are not a *gasp* perfect type. I'm not idealizing ENFP as a type but I'm not going to inflict damage on myself over my type.
ENFPs are more of a fetish to those who give us a lot of attention, that's not true appreciation.

I'm not guilting myself. I've seen some really irritating behavior on this forum, even to the point of being told I'm not an NF for seeing flaws in other people of my own type. That's bothersome. Also, I have an ENFP sister who can be a real selfish bitch. I love her though, and love that there are things we can really relate to each other on. I love my ENFJ and my ISFJ sisters too.

 

[Vamp]

Other NFs and other ENFPs sucking hard won't diminish my liking my type. Or any type. People suck (I suck) and it's got little to do with type. Some behaviors may be "type" related but people suck, period.

 

[Sparrow]

Other NFs and other ENFPs sucking hard won't diminish my liking my type. Or any type. People suck (I suck) and it's got little to do with type. Some behaviors may be "type" related but people suck, period.

I agree...theres sucky people in every type.

 

[Thalassa]

Yeah ...there's sucky people in every type...which is why I'm pointing out that no type is god's gift.

 

[Rebe]

Yup. Ever met a viciously negative INFP? *shudders* It's terrible and terrifying.

I admire (and envy) their radiant, positive and strong energy and their outstanding (shameless) charisma.

 

[Sparrow]

marmalade.sunrise: Your right too! There are ugly people and beautiful people in every type, race, religion, etc, we are all human. I guess this thread is more about what the good and bad are in ENFJs & ENFPs specifically. I know there’s stuff about myself that I hate & love. But yea I agree no one is perfect.

 

[angell_m]

Yup. Ever met a viciously negative INFP? *shudders* It's terrible and terrifying.

I admire (and envy) their radiant, positive and strong energy and their outstanding (shameless) charisma.