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[ENFJ] ESFJ or ENFJ?

Lily flower

New member
Joined
Jun 28, 2010
Messages
930
MBTI Type
INFJ
Enneagram
2
I am trying to figure out if my husband is an ESFJ or an ENFJ. When he takes the online tests, he always comes out ESFJ, but when I read the descriptions in books, he always sounds like an ENFJ. His MO is compassion/charm. Everyone tells him their deepest secrets within hours of knowing him. He & I click amazingly well, (I'm an INFJ) but I am obviously way more N than he is - he is much more grounded than I am.

What is the best way to tell the difference?
 

Thalassa

Permabanned
Joined
May 3, 2009
Messages
25,183
MBTI Type
ISFP
Enneagram
6w7
Instinctual Variant
sx
You could click really well with him for any number of reasons, that doesn't necessarily mean he's an NFJ.

The fact that he's less N than you and is more "grounded" may indicate in and of itself that he's ESFJ...it's more common to be SJ than any other temperament.

An ESFJ is going to be a more practical person, more "hands on" and less theoretical, and pay more attention to detail because of auxillary Si. Si places emphasis on experience, memory, and order, where as Ni is going to be more abstract and theoretical, and will seem (or even claim) to "just know" things.

Having charm and compassion is common in SFJs just like NFJs, especially ExFJs. His ability to get people to open up to him is probably just his Fe dom.
 

ReadingRainbows

Cat Wench
Joined
Jan 28, 2009
Messages
1,885
MBTI Type
ENFJ
Enneagram
6w7
Instinctual Variant
sx/sp
Most healthy types of any type click well together :)
 
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