[NF] NF women, do you want kids?

[prplchknz]

no

 

[Rebe]

I do want kids and always have.

I have always loved children. I don't always love taking care of them and I have taken care of other people's children since I was a young teenager. Sometimes it's boring, sometimes stressful, sometimes fun, sometimes gross, sometimes frustrating. Spoiled brats are not fun, esp. if they are not your own.

It's not because I am a 'woman' or I am a 'motherly' type, but I am more of a half mentor, half-child myself. I want to adopt children as I feel terrible there are children out there without even the basic foundation to survive and grow, to be given a chance to grow into a person.

I don't necessarily want my own children. I'm really curious, sure and there's some odd little genetics pride going on, but actually giving birth to a child in this body, with these narrow hips ... ugh ... ew ... I do not deal with physical pain well, at all.

Anyway, I'd like to foster the growth of someone. I'd like to take care of someone and raise them to the best of my ability and give someone a chance at life, whatever life ends up meaning to them. I want to love someone more than anyone else in the world. Also, I want someone who is mine, who is a part of me.

 

[ElizaJane]

Wow, what a coincidence that this poll was posted today. I was contemplating posting something similar, but directed at all types, male and female. I am feeling the tick of my biological clock very strongly these days, and my husband and I plan to try very soon. As in next month. And now, as the time nears, I'm getting flashbacks of all those times when I thought it might not be a good idea to bring kids into this world. I mean, who am I to go around creating lives? I always struggled with this, but ultimately I decided that joy in life outweighs the suffering — and I know my husband and I will be great parents. Also, everyone says that having children is the most fulfilling part of life. But then are people just satisfying some need in themselves by having children? Would it be selfish to bring them into the world? (These questions were much more bothersome years ago when I considered myself agnostic though.)

I just wonder if everyone goes through this or if people just pop out kids because that's what people do... without really thinking much about it. I'm pretty sure my sisters didn't think about it much.

 

[Xellotath]

No way in hell, thanks!

In fact, I cant even date people with kids.

Maybe, should the maternal in me win one day, i'll -adopt-.

I'm making it a point to stop my genetic material in this generation. I see no purpose for the species and much less for its propagation.

 

[Phantonym]

I do want to have kids. Biological or adopted or both, doesn't matter. Some day. That day might be far, far away, though. I've never felt this uncontrollable desire to have kids and I haven't dreamt about having them since my childhood. However, the thought of having kids has never intimidated me either. I've heard people around me say time and time again that they'd never have kids because their lives would be over and kids are just in the way, they value their independence too much. I've never really understood that kind of mentality because, you know, if you enter into something believing that it's going to be a disaster, chances are that it will be. So, I guess I still have that idealistic notion that no matter what, everything will be worth it in the end.

 

[Lady_X]

i consider the responsibility of parenthood to be an honor and a privilege and there is nothing i want or need for myself that i value greater than that. there is nothing i cherish more than the love that exists in family.

 

[Edasich]

What the hell is it with these NF polls and excluding guys? :steam:

eh, did you not see the option 'I'm not a woman'? That option made me chuckle.

I definitely want kids. Not until I'm out of uni and have more of an idea of where i'd like to go, though. I do wonder about being pretty introverted and what happens if you have a really extraverted kid? Not that I'd mind how extraverted/ introverted they were, but i just hope i'd have enough energy to keep up with them. Extraverts always seem to have so much energy :O

 

[Thessaly]

Initially I wanted 5. Now I'm down to 3. I've always had an innate desire to spawn my own brood (I generally blame it on being a Cancer rising when I know I won't get eye rolled).

 

[Amargith]

No. I do feel my bioclock going at times when I see my friends with their baby. But no. Really.

 

[21%]

I used to want kids so bad that I thought I would be completely devastated if I found out I could not. Now I'm 26 and the thought that I'm near the age where people make big life decisions like getting married and having kids starts to sound scary. It's like "Of course, I want those things. But now? I'm still a kid! I'm not ready and I won't be ready any time soon!"

But then again, someone told me that no one ever feels they are "ready" for children, then it happens, you panic, and then you realize "Hey, I can do this after all!"

 

[cascadeco]

Well... seeing as I can't relate at all to those who have said they've always wanted kids or 'wanted 5', even at a young age (not that there's anything wrong with that, I just really cannot relate), the most accurate answer out of the two would be 'INFJ and don't want kids'.

In recent years I've been open to the idea of having one, if I met the right person, but even if I did meet the 'right person' I might end up deciding it's something I'm not wanting. Totally ambivalent about it, leaning towards the 'no', I guess. Only thing pushing me towards 'yes' would be worrying I'd be missing out on a really amazing aspect of life.

 

[Queen Kat]

I'm 18 now and I'm going to college in a few months, so this wouldn't be the perfect time to get children for me. But once I finished college, I'd definately want them. There is no particular reason behind it, I just feel like they'd bring a good amount of happiness in my life. And by the way, I'm the only person in my family who is really sane. It would be such a pity to just throw away this awesome DNA of mine. Being a single mother wouldn't be that much of a nightmare, I think. When I was little, my parents didn't have any work and I spent most of my time alone. I don't even have one old memory left of my father from when I was younger than 8, except those times he yelled at my mom or at me. And after a poor early childhood and all this loneliness in my early years I still turned out to be a pretty cool person. I can't even remember any moment when I felt unhappy (except when we celebrated Sinterklaas at my grandma's place and all of my cousins got all these cool and toys and I just got lousy and cheep ones). Being a single mother wouldn't really block your children's way to happiness.

 

[Talisyn]

But then again, someone told me that no one ever feels they are "ready" for children, then it happens, you panic, and then you realize "Hey, I can do this after all!"

True enough. I'm a do, but I wonder how objective that is considering I have 2 children and love them more than life. I never wanted an immense brood, but I think I've always wanted kids- at some point. I did have young parents and it was a +++ with how we relate to one another, energy level, etc compared to my friends with parents who had them past 30. However, if I hadn't met my husband at a younger age... and thus been single longer I think it would have been longer before I had kids, and I don't think that would have bothered me too much either. I really can't say.

 

[Esoteric Wench]

NFs do want kids.... they just want them 10 years later than an ESFJ wants kids.

I laughed so hard when I read this that I almost dropped my soda out of my hand. Fantastic. And, so true.

 

[Quay]

I just think what I feel is so much stronger than that...I'm more than prepared to take the rough with the smooth. I don't think I would ever be able to say that my life felt meaningless or empty...and feeling will be so worth all the "not so fun stuff" that would come with being a parent.

so true...

hmmm...I knew when I was 17 that I wouldn't have kids until I was at least 30.
We'll see what happens. Talk to me in ten years.

I felt this way at 17 too. I was adamant about not having kids for at least another 10 years, and was 28 when my two were born, and I think I'm finished. Really.

But then are people just satisfying some need in themselves by having children? Would it be selfish to bring them into the world? (These questions were much more bothersome years ago when I considered myself agnostic though.)

I just wonder if everyone goes through this or if people just pop out kids because that's what people do... without really thinking much about it. I'm pretty sure my sisters didn't think about it much.

I believe the feeling is innate.

I tend to think of my children as one of the few things I've done right my entire time on this planet.

And I agree with popping out the kids thing too. I despise that and it seems most women I know are guilty of it. And the kids suffer and I hate watching it....wish I could steal all of those kids and go live on a ranch somewhere...

 

[Fidelia]

I always thought I'd have kids. If I had been charting out my ideal life, I would have said I'd like four.

As time has gone on though, I've realized what a huge responsibility having kids is and also how much the world has changed in a very short time. Even if I were to be up for the challenge, I don't know of anyone that has the qualities I would even want to start a marriage with. I am not interested in having kids unless I could provide them with two stable parents. At 33, I would be surprised if I ever met someone I did wish to marry, so I doubt I'll ever have kids. If I did, I wouldn't want to be having them in my 40s.

 

[musicnerd93]

Right now, I know I'm definantly not ready for it. But, one or two children in the future would be nice. Though, in my family it seems to be a tradition that you have to have one child for every year you've been married...Bleh...not my bag. I'm breaking that tradition. One kid, two tops. That's it.

 

[HollyGolightly]

Just to add...I don't want children now, I'm only 18. But if I had to answer whether I wanted children or not I would say yes, definitely. I think I wouldreally regret it if I grew old and was looking back on my life...and I never got the chance to help create a life, love it and raise it. I would really feel that I had missed out.

 

[CuriousFeeling]

I want to have a family when I have a husband, stable career and income, and a house. At this moment, I don't have any of the three criteria listed, and I feel that I'm a bit young to have them yet.

 

[kiddykat]

[YOUTUBE="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=H8KnHK1NskY"]Song Dedication[/YOUTUBE]..to ALL the Great Mamas & Great Mamas to Be out there..