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[NF] NF women, do you want kids?

NF women - do you want children?

  • I'm ENFJ - I want/have children

    Votes: 1 1.1%
  • I'm ENFJ - I do NOT want children

    Votes: 3 3.3%
  • I'm INFJ - I want/have children

    Votes: 22 24.2%
  • I'm INFJ - I do NOT want children

    Votes: 5 5.5%
  • I'm ENFP - I want/have children

    Votes: 11 12.1%
  • I'm ENFP - I do NOT want children

    Votes: 4 4.4%
  • I'm INFP - I want/have children

    Votes: 14 15.4%
  • I'm INFP - I do NOT want children

    Votes: 8 8.8%
  • I'm not NF

    Votes: 5 5.5%
  • I'm not a female

    Votes: 12 13.2%
  • I don't know yet or any other answer that's not in the poll

    Votes: 6 6.6%

  • Total voters
    91

alcea rosea

New member
Joined
Nov 11, 2007
Messages
3,658
MBTI Type
ENFP
Enneagram
7w6
I always had the "strong enough of an innate desire for children", even as a child. I always knew I'll have kids. And now, I do have 3 kids. I think it's so deeply built in me, the need to have children, that there were other option for me. It is in my genes or in my soul or wherever.
 

Chunes

New member
Joined
Sep 9, 2009
Messages
364
MBTI Type
INFP
Enneagram
9w1
No kids for me...I feel mean saying this but I dont want to bring a child up in this fuc*ed up / over populated world, I feel like its selfish (no offense moms and dads). I might consider adopting when I am more established.

If you think about it it's not selfish until you have more than 2. Possibly more if they were had by different partners. One couple can have 2 kids which maintains a 0% growth rate assuming they both survive. Personally, I think we need a negative growth rate in most areas, but I'll be happy with just getting to zero first.
 

Liesl

New member
Joined
Jun 20, 2010
Messages
204
If you think about it it's not selfish until you have more than 2. Possibly more if they were had by different partners. One couple can have 2 kids which maintains a 0% growth rate assuming they both survive. Personally, I think we need a negative growth rate in most areas, but I'll be happy with just getting to zero first.

You're assuming that everyone is going to have children. If Adults X, Y, and Z live in the same community, and Adult X chooses not to have children. Then Adults Y and Z can have three children and maintain the 'zero percent growth rate' that you are speaking of.

Anyway, I would never call someone 'selfish' for choosing to have children unless they didn't have the intention of providing them with the financial, material, and emotional resources that the children would need. Although some parents do anticipate that they can provide these resources and end up being unable to...and that's not selfish, that's just sad and tragic. There's my two cents.
 

stringstheory

THIS bitch
Joined
Jul 12, 2009
Messages
923
MBTI Type
ENFP
Enneagram
1
No kids for me...I feel mean saying this but I dont want to bring a child up in this fuc*ed up / over populated world, I feel like its selfish (no offense moms and dads). I might consider adopting when I am more established.

Not sure how i missed this before, but this is another big factor for me. i'm not sure i'd call it selfish, though i really don't know what to call it to be honest. the increasing disillusionment i'm finding with humans (as a species, i love people) keeps nagging at me. it's kind of a difficult contradiction to come to terms with. in a world such as this i would personally find it more satisfying and beneficial to try and work towards improving the condition of life that currently exists, not to create new life in order to establish my own happy familial unit. plus i'm fucked up as it is, does the world really need MORE of me?

adopting will likely be the way to go for me, if i end up deciding i want children.
 
Joined
Feb 5, 2011
Messages
81
MBTI Type
ENFJ
Enneagram
4w3
I've always known I don't want to have children and I'm not going to have any. I just don't really like them and I think I'll be a horrible mother. So why bring suffering upon myself and some poor kiddie?
 

SilkRoad

Lay the coin on my tongue
Joined
May 26, 2009
Messages
3,932
MBTI Type
INFJ
Enneagram
6w5
Instinctual Variant
sp/sx
I voted for not wanting kids. I don't have a maternal bone in my body and I'm not even in an LTR. However, I could imagine that if I were in a loving marriage the maternal desire might arise. I think my mom was somewhat similar from what she told me. She's not exactly a child person and said she hadn't thought much about kids before she got married. But after a few years of marriage both she and my dad wanted kids. (Not sure how he felt about it from the outset.)
 

mmhmm

meinmeinmein!
Joined
Jul 6, 2010
Messages
2,280
i haven't met anyone i'd like to have kids with. or feel they're the kind
of partner i'd like to raise my kids with. so i don't know. i think if i was
ready to do it on my own, not having a man wouldn't stop me. but
i just never think about it.
 

tibby

New member
Joined
Nov 22, 2008
Messages
682
MBTI Type
fool
One day, yep. It doesn't have to mean having biological children though.
 

iwakar

crush the fences
Joined
May 2, 2007
Messages
4,877
Instinctual Variant
sx/sp
I want to be a mother, but I'm willing to wait until I feel the time is right, even if that means I never do in the end. I will not sacrifice optimal circumstances for all involved on a selfish or desperate whim.

I would try very, very hard to be a good mother and learn from the mistakes and successes of others and myself. In order for any of this to happen, I have to find the right person, and that just hasn't happened yet.

Till then, I have my dog and she is definitely a prelude to parenting. :)
 

INTPness

New member
Joined
Jan 22, 2009
Messages
2,157
MBTI Type
INTP
Enneagram
5w4
Thus far:

INFJ: 18 yes, 5 no (78%)
INFP: 14 yes, 6 no (70%)
ENFP: 10 yes, 4 no (71%)

And then there is,
ENFJ: 1 yes, 3 no (25%)

This makes me think about an ENFJ I know. She had a child 10-ish years ago (unplanned) and she is a great mother, all things considered. But, I notice that she leaves her child with family and friends A LOT. There's like this fierce streak of independence in her - she's always running around, going here or there, involved in social groups, tons of friends, etc. But, very seldom brings her daughter along. From the outside looking in, it's almost as if she has compartmentalized things. She'll be at home with her daughter on most weeknights, put her to bed, get her ready for school in the morning, etc - but if she can get a babysitter (and most weekends), she's hitting the town and having a blast and it's like she wants to live the single life - often times not even wanting to talk much about the kid. Maybe it's just cuz that's her "time off" from being a mom so she wants to be carefree.

I totally would have thought that the ENFP's would have been the ones with a low percentage of yes votes. ENFP's just seem like they don't want to be tied down or stuck at home at all. Like they would want less responsibilities and less obligations, if you will. ENFJ's seem more of the "responsible", structured type with a million different responsibilities while ENFP's seem very "outside the box" and "don't want to be trapped into anything for very long".
 

Offog

New member
Joined
Nov 13, 2010
Messages
99
MBTI Type
INTP
INFJ: 23 votes.
INFP: 20 votes.
ENFP: 14 votes.
ENFJ: 4 votes.

I strongly caution against drawing conclusions about ENFJ's based on such a small sample size.
 

iwakar

crush the fences
Joined
May 2, 2007
Messages
4,877
Instinctual Variant
sx/sp
Having children is the most selfish act and raising them is the most selfless.

...

Dear God, it would serve me right to have multiples on my first go.
 

INTPness

New member
Joined
Jan 22, 2009
Messages
2,157
MBTI Type
INTP
Enneagram
5w4
INFJ: 23 votes.
INFP: 20 votes.
ENFP: 14 votes.
ENFJ: 4 votes.

I strongly caution against drawing conclusions about ENFJ's based on such a small sample size.

Yeah, I'm aware of statistical significance. I'm certainly not going to go out and write a book on my findings. It's just a fun thread and interesting to throw around ideas and get input from the 4 different NF types.
 

Lexicon

Temporal Mechanic
Staff member
Joined
Sep 28, 2008
Messages
12,342
MBTI Type
JINX
Enneagram
5w6
Instinctual Variant
sp/sx
Having children is the most selfish act and raising them is the most selfless.

...

Dear God, it would serve me right to have multiples on my first go.


Yeah I voted on this ages ago, & that still stands [a resounding fuck no].

iwakar puts it in the simplest of terms, perfectly, why one may or may not want them.


If only I could find a way to birth a litter of sphynx kittens. My purpose would be fulfilled in this life.
*continues knitting, humming a soft lullaby*
 

iwakar

crush the fences
Joined
May 2, 2007
Messages
4,877
Instinctual Variant
sx/sp
Yeah I voted on this ages ago, & that still stands [a resounding fuck no].

iwakar puts it in the simplest of terms, perfectly, why one may or may not want them.


If only I could find a way to birth a litter of sphynx kittens. My purpose would be fulfilled in this life.
*continues knitting, humming a soft lullaby*

Y'know, I'm fond of Pharaoh Hounds.
CH+Northgate+As+You+Like+It..jpg



However, I would not want to birth a litter... surry for me?
:laugh:
 
V

violaine

Guest
Score another one for undecided, though I probably will if I can. My problem is being tied to the father of the child(ren) for life in a romantic relationship. No one has been up to scratch yet in that respect. I would feel so sad if I had kids with someone and we had a terrible relationship.

I would consider a non-traditional arrangement. I've actually had a conversation with a friend before about possibly having a child together one day and living next door to each other while we raise the child (as our first priority in life) but still live our lives. It's not such a bad idea to me. I would also happily adopt and will most likely do that anyway.
 

Lily flower

New member
Joined
Jun 28, 2010
Messages
930
MBTI Type
INFJ
Enneagram
2
I am laughing that the INFJ's have the strongest "yes" vote so far, because I have always wanted a lot of children even when I was younger, and now as an adult I have a lot of children!
 
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