• You are currently viewing our forum as a guest, which gives you limited access to view most discussions and access our other features. By joining our free community, you will have access to additional post topics, communicate privately with other members (PM), view blogs, respond to polls, upload content, and access many other special features. Registration is fast, simple and absolutely free, so please join our community today! Just click here to register. You should turn your Ad Blocker off for this site or certain features may not work properly. If you have any problems with the registration process or your account login, please contact us by clicking here.

[MBTI General] xNFP females, do you tend to be better friends with males?

Magic Poriferan

^He pronks, too!
Joined
Nov 4, 2007
Messages
14,081
MBTI Type
Yin
Enneagram
One
Instinctual Variant
sx/sp
I respect your point of view. However, have you not expressed in the past issues of gender confusion?

Other people have been confused about my gender. :laugh:

You can only say I'm gender confused if such things include having no desire to fit into expected gender roles. But I think that would be an inappropriate definition.

I am a straight male, and I've not felt that I was anything else.
 

Synarch

Once Was
Joined
Oct 14, 2008
Messages
8,445
MBTI Type
ENTP
And...where did this thread go? LOL.

[YOUTUBE="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YEon8uTWW30"]This is How We Do[/YOUTUBE]


I think it's usually pretty clear when a straight dude is just talking to you or interested in you because they find you attractive and want to be more than friends. I have found that XNFPs, particularly INFPs are really bad at recognizing/gauging this.

Why them in particular?
 
R

ReflecTcelfeR

Guest
I believe that sexual tension is natural and needed for a relationship to form some depth. I relate this sexual tension in the same way as feeding egos. Complimenting each other on who you are causes a unique depth that common interests begins to create, but often dies out because nothing but that exists within the relationship. Some form of attraction must be there in order for you to start a relationship, or so I would imagine. As something piqued your interest in the first place. This holds most true when you intiate the friendship.
 

Synarch

Once Was
Joined
Oct 14, 2008
Messages
8,445
MBTI Type
ENTP
You can only say I'm gender confused if such things include having no desire to fit into expected gender roles. But I think that would be an inappropriate definition.

That sounds like gender confusion to me. In practice, as a straight man how do you not fit into accepted gender roles?
 

Southern Kross

Away with the fairies
Joined
Dec 22, 2008
Messages
2,910
MBTI Type
INFP
Enneagram
4w5
Instinctual Variant
so/sp
I take you at your word.

However...

In these cases, are you available, are they available, and, how attractive are you?

These factors dictate the strength of the attraction.
There has been cases where both of us (me and certain male friends) have been available and there has been no issue.

And I'm not hideous if that's what you're suggesting! :ranting: :D

Do you feel passing attraction to your female friends Synarch? If so what is it that incites it? How do you react when you feel it - do you panic and try to clear it from your mind or do you just secretly enjoy the moment?
 

Synarch

Once Was
Joined
Oct 14, 2008
Messages
8,445
MBTI Type
ENTP
Do you feel passing attraction to your female friends Synarch? If so what is it that incites it? How do you react when you feel it - do you panic and try to clear it from your mind or do you just secretly enjoy the moment?

On the occasions when it has happened, I don't enjoy it. It makes me feel endangered and vulnerable.
 

Magic Poriferan

^He pronks, too!
Joined
Nov 4, 2007
Messages
14,081
MBTI Type
Yin
Enneagram
One
Instinctual Variant
sx/sp
That sounds like gender confusion to me. In practice, as a straight man how do you not fit into accepted gender roles?

Passive. Gentle. Not very commanding (in spite of what some people on this forum would probably assume). Self-deprecating/sef-doubting. Unambitious. Don't want a job. Rather take care of things than be a provider. Very monogomous. Need lots of asexual affection. Can be very sensitive (to certain people). Vain. Pre-occupied with receiving love. Chatty.

Those are some psychological traits of mine that are generally considered feminine, not masculine. There are more material/superficial traits as well, but I find those pretty silly.

Like, I'm interested in clothing. Very touchy about my hair, I need to keep it long. I like to skip. I own stuffed animals. People tell me the way I stand when I'm idle looks like a woman, etc... :laugh:

But I don't think any of that makes me gender confused. I have learned that they contradict what is supposedly masculine, a heterosexual man, accoridng to this society. But they don't make me less of a man to me. I do not desire to change my genitals, or refer to myself as a female. I want to have sex with women often. I am not turned-on at all by men. That's good enough for me.
 

Synarch

Once Was
Joined
Oct 14, 2008
Messages
8,445
MBTI Type
ENTP
Passive. Gentle. Not very commanding (in spite of what some people on this forum would probably assume). Self-deprecating/sef-doubting. Unambitious. Don't want a job. Rather take care of things than be a provider. Very monogomous. Need lots of asexual affection. Can be very sensitive (to certain people). Vain. Pre-occupied with receiving love. Chatty.

Those are some psychological traits of mine that are generally considered feminine, not masculine. There are more material/superficial traits as well, but I find those pretty silly.

Like, I'm interested in clothing. Very touchy about my hair, I need to keep it long. I like to skip. I own stuffed animals. People tell me the way I stand when I'm idle looks like a woman, etc... :laugh:

But I don't think any of that makes me gender confused. I have learned that they contradict what is supposedly masculine, a heterosexual man, accoridng to this society. But they don't make me less of a man to me. I do not desire to change my genitals, or refer to myself as a female. I want to have sex with women often. I am not turned-on at all by men. That's good enough for me.

Do you like women like you? Or, do you like them a bit masculine?
 
R

ReflecTcelfeR

Guest
Why do you feel that way?

I have recently contemplated on my friendships and how I have acted on the feelings that have arrived and the consequences that came with it. I would rather not be lonely than have something more than a friendship right now... seeing as how I have isolated myself from my friends because of my actions. And in the circle of friends I am a part of I have had feelings for core members which radiate out to the surrounding friends. I'm just tired of being lonely. I already don't relate with most people because I'm just strange luckily my strange-ness is slightly charming.

One step at a time.
 

Thalassa

Permabanned
Joined
May 3, 2009
Messages
25,183
MBTI Type
ISFP
Enneagram
6w7
Instinctual Variant
sx
Not necessarily. I've always had male friends though, as far back as I can remember, even in elementary school. I get along well with guys.

But some of my closest, dearest friends are women.
 

Synarch

Once Was
Joined
Oct 14, 2008
Messages
8,445
MBTI Type
ENTP
I have recently contemplated on my friendships and how I have acted on the feelings that have arrived and the consequences that came with it. I would rather not be lonely than have something more than a friendship right now... seeing as how I have isolated myself from my friends because of my actions. And in the circle of friends I am a part of I have had feelings for core members which radiate out to the surrounding friends. I'm just tired of being lonely. I already don't relate with most people because I'm just strange luckily my strange-ness is slightly charming.

You're never alone. Just remember that.

Why don't you contact one of your friends and let them know you miss them?
 

CzeCze

RETIRED
Joined
Sep 11, 2007
Messages
8,975
MBTI Type
GONE
Wait...did this thread about an XNFP female asking other XNFP females to share personal experiences get hijacked by some ENTP males? You just can't stay away can you. :thelook: :nono: and :laugh:

Wait...Is Reflect a dood? It's hard to tell ENTP gender on the forum...You can compare and contrast with the questions you've asked MagicP...that'll be another opportunity to take this thread further away from the OP! LOL.

Synarch said:
Why them [XNFPs] in particular?

I think XNFPs can be really bad at gauging boundaries and appropriate signals. There are several threads already on the forum specifically about XNFPs attracting the wrong kind of attention, etc. INFPs moreso than ENFPs, I think partially because introversion makes you more receptive/likely target to and of peoples energies and advances.

I have seen this in personal observation as well in three INFPs I have dated. It causes a lot of problems for them and in their personal relationships.

I also think personality type does play a part in how you perceive or understand your own personal beauty and how others react to it. For instance I think in general INTX women are (intellectually) aware of their beauty but don't really "care" and their personalities keep unwanted advances at bay and they don't have to worry about giving mixed signals.
 

OrangeAppled

Sugar Hiccup
Joined
Mar 20, 2009
Messages
7,626
MBTI Type
INFP
Enneagram
4w5
Instinctual Variant
sp/sx
Not necessarily. I've always had male friends though, as far back as I can remember, even in elementary school. I get along well with guys.

I've had male friends since I was a small child also. My best guy friend and I have been friends since birth practically. We played together as babies & were penpals when he moved away. I suppose this is why I am familiar with the brother-sister dynamic concept despite not being close to my half-brother.
 
R

ReflecTcelfeR

Guest
You're never alone. Just remember that.

Why don't you contact one of your friends and let them know you miss them?

Strangly enough this thread, and what it has become, is the direct reason why I don't contact friends first (girls that is). I feel that showing any want of contact with them appears as if I'm trying to form something more than a friendship, because I suppose I assume what I'm thinking about is also what I'm thinking about (this being sexual in nature). Luckily, one of my friends, whaddyaknow a girl contacted me today just to see how I was doing... it was nice.

Thank you, Synarch... it's hard to remember that sometimes.
 

Synarch

Once Was
Joined
Oct 14, 2008
Messages
8,445
MBTI Type
ENTP
Wait...did this thread about an XNFP female asking other XNFP females to share personal experiences get hijacked by some ENTP males? You just can't stay away can you. :thelook: :nono: and :laugh:

It was the only thread with any action. Unfortunately, things get slow and we have to crash threads where we are about as welcome as ants at a picnic. Sigh. In my own defense, I look at a thread as multiple conversations at once since any person has the ability to bring back whatever point they like. Things are not as linear as they sometimes end up being.

I think XNFPs can be really bad at gauging boundaries and appropriate signals. There are several threads already on the forum specifically about XNFPs attracting the wrong kind of attention, etc. INFPs moreso than ENFPs, I think partially because introversion makes you more receptive/likely target to and of peoples energies and advances.

I have seen this in personal observation as well in three INFPs I have dated. It causes a lot of problems for them and in their personal relationships.

I also think personality type does play a part in how you perceive or understand your own personal beauty and how others react to it. For instance I think in general INTX women are (intellectually) aware of their beauty but don't really "care" and their personalities keep unwanted advances at bay and they don't have to worry about giving mixed signals.

I do think that XNFP's are sometimes so inclusive and accepting of others that it works against them because they are not really prepared for boundary crossers, being such reticent boundary crossers themselves.
 
R

ReflecTcelfeR

Guest
Wait...did this thread about an XNFP female asking other XNFP females to share personal experiences get hijacked by some ENTP males? You just can't stay away can you. :thelook: :nono: and :laugh:

Wait...Is Reflect a dood? It's hard to tell ENTP gender on the forum...

I am, and we did.
 
Top