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[MBTI General] Do do do your dirty words come out to play when you are hurt?

Billy

Crazy Diamond
Joined
Oct 20, 2009
Messages
1,192
MBTI Type
INFJ
I noticed this about myself... I dont always follow through, but when someone hurts me I have an insatiable desire to hurt them back equally or say something back to crush them equally.

I wonder how many types do this, I would assume this is a mostly NF thing. The NTs I have dealt with can be nasty too but they don't ever seem to get hurt and want to hurt back the same way I have seen NF's.

I wonder where this stems from aside form immaturity I mean, some people need to bite back.
 

Thalassa

Permabanned
Joined
May 3, 2009
Messages
25,183
MBTI Type
ISFP
Enneagram
6w7
Instinctual Variant
sx
I'll cut you.
 
E

Epiphany

Guest
I noticed this about myself... I dont always follow through, but when someone hurts me I have an insatiable desire to hurt them back equally or say something back to crush them equally.

I wonder how many types do this, I would assume this is a mostly NF thing. The NTs I have dealt with can be nasty too but they don't ever seem to get hurt and want to hurt back the same way I have seen NF's.

I wonder where this stems from aside form immaturity I mean, some people need to bite back.

I only recall doing this on one occasion. I was extremely drunk and apologized the next day, but the damage was irreversible. I really went for the jugular.

I think unhealthy NF's have the ability to detect a person's emotional pressure points and mutilate them from the inside. Usually, my empathy will stop me, but if my feelings are intense enough and my inhibitions are lowered, I will try to inflict as much pain as possible.
 

whatusername

New member
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Aug 3, 2009
Messages
270
MBTI Type
INFJ
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4
I thought by "dirty words" you mean flat out cussing someone out. Hehe.

But yeah, when I'm backed into a corner by someone who seems to really really want me to get mad at him/her, I attack. And yeah, I somehow seem to know what to say to make it hurt real bad.

(I'm not exactly proud of that. Tears. )
 

Arclight

Permabanned
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Nov 5, 2009
Messages
3,177
MBTI Type
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I noticed this about myself... I dont always follow through, but when someone hurts me I have an insatiable desire to hurt them back equally or say something back to crush them equally.

I wonder how many types do this, I would assume this is a mostly NF thing. The NTs I have dealt with can be nasty too but they don't ever seem to get hurt and want to hurt back the same way I have seen NF's.

I wonder where this stems from aside form immaturity I mean, some people need to bite back.

You said it . it's immature.. It's silly and in most cases it's not equal but goes overboard.
 
P

Phantonym

Guest
Yeah, I can get that way as well. For me it's not even about hurting the other person but to get that every bit of frustration out of myself for eeeeverybody and especially the person who hurt me to see how hurt I really am. It's like I have blinders on when I reach that point because usually I can deal with it on my own.
 

CrystalViolet

lab rat extraordinaire
Joined
Oct 24, 2008
Messages
2,152
MBTI Type
XNFP
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5w4
Instinctual Variant
sx/sp
Hmmm....yes, if I'm feeling hurt, I can cut deep.
 

Esoteric Wench

Professional Trickster
Joined
Dec 20, 2009
Messages
945
MBTI Type
ENFP
Enneagram
7w8
Oh yes. But normally I don't act on my desire. Sometimes, however, I've definitely "pulled out the knife" in retaliation with a perceived slight.

Not Esoteric Wench at her best. <Sigh.>
 

cascadeco

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Oct 7, 2007
Messages
9,083
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9w1
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sp/sx
No; anger is an emotion I don't really experience, and I can't relate to 'getting back' at people.

I also can't think of the last time I was hurt. Yes, I might be upset or bothered by someone's decision and how it impacts me, but that's their prerogative.

(I'm being serious.)

Maybe I've got a glitch in my brain paths and I don't get angry when I 'should' get angry. *shrug* I'm not a pushover, and if something is bothering me I need to discuss it with the person; however, I don't even want to do any discussing until I've really thought about it and can approach it in a calm manner..you know, so as to have an actual discussion.
 

Billy

Crazy Diamond
Joined
Oct 20, 2009
Messages
1,192
MBTI Type
INFJ
No; anger is an emotion I don't really experience, and I can't relate to 'getting back' at people.

I also can't think of the last time I was hurt. Yes, I might be upset or bothered by someone's decision and how it impacts me, but that's their prerogative.

(I'm being serious.)

Maybe I've got a glitch in my brain paths and I don't get angry when I 'should' get angry. *shrug* I'm not a pushover, and if something is bothering me I need to discuss it with the person; however, I don't even want to do any discussing until I've really thought about it and can approach it in a calm manner..you know, so as to have an actual discussion.

You know, most stuff doesnt get to me either, I have a few triggers though which is what I am mostly honing in on. 99% of the time I am pretty serene and it would take a lot to get me to react, but some feelings have that effect.

Betryal is one of those triggers. If I sense that I am being betrayed I will go above and beyond in the situation to jigger it in such a way that the offending parties will come out completely obliterated in some way.
 

mockingbird

New member
Joined
Aug 31, 2009
Messages
249
MBTI Type
INFP
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9w1
I view showing anger as showing my weakness. I don't want people to know how much they've hurt me usually. Don't want to give them the satisfaction. Even when I've let myselF go and spewed my anger, I've always held something back. And even then, I felt like a fool afterwards. I'm sure as a kid I wasn't as guarded and restrained though.
 

Billy

Crazy Diamond
Joined
Oct 20, 2009
Messages
1,192
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And what if a person is not hurt by anything you say ?

Some people arent, fucking NT's that's usually when I would find a way to deny them something they really wanted. A job promotion, relationship with someone else, whatever. We hit what hurts.
 

Billy

Crazy Diamond
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Oct 20, 2009
Messages
1,192
MBTI Type
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I view showing anger as showing my weakness. I don't want people to know how much they've hurt me usually. Don't want to give them the satisfaction. Even when I've let myselF go and spewed my anger, I've always held something back. And even then, I felt like a fool afterwards. I'm sure as a kid I wasn't as guarded and restrained though.

I understand what you mean. The majority of the time I hide all my emotions from people so I can more effortless navigate through them... but once and a while someone will find a way to throw that switch and everything I am and am not seems to change, theres a definite dark side.
 

mockingbird

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Aug 31, 2009
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@ Billy- Know what you mean by a dark side. That's why it's so helpful to have a confidant who isn't shocked and judgemental about your negative feelings.
 

alexshippee

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Joined
Feb 23, 2010
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Infp
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4w5
I know it's very immature of me, but I always want to get back at people. I'm five years older than my brother and he says stupid things all the time. Later on I find myself wanting badly to throw him down the stairs. I hope I wasn't that annoying when i was 15..

When My father acts like an idiot I steal random things in his room that he'll eventually need. Like screwdrivers or all the pens i can find or I replace the batteries in his remote with dead ones. Or i take his good lightbulbs and put in dead ones.

I can't believe I'm saying this right now because it makes me sound like a crazy person, but I do understand what it's like to want to get back at people.
 

Billy

Crazy Diamond
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Oct 20, 2009
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1,192
MBTI Type
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Its odd, I think I have a really harsh tit for tat thing in my head, its been there since I was a child, this decree of what "fairness" means. And I always believed in giving it as good as I got it. I always said if you are good to me, I will be good to you, if you are unhanded with me, I will take you down. I can totally see myself replacing good batteries with dead ones, just for a sense of fairness if like my brother pissed me off, he caused me 22.1% annoyance, on par with *calculating* replace his remotes batteries, even again.

Heh its so immature but how do you exist with people if you cant vent on them properly because theyre too stupid to understand that they are clumsy ogres with other peoples feelings.
 

HollyGolightly

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1w2
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sp/so
Oh Gosh I want to do this so badly when somebody has hurt me. With me, right is right and wrong is wrong...so I am infuriated when somebody intentionally hurts me. But I don't really do anything back. I try to be the bigger person and end up acting overly nice. I come across as almost too calm and controlled...when inside I am sooo ANGRY. I experience this a lot with my mother...I so desperately want to put her down when she puts me down...but I just can't do it, I really can't express my anger. Damn you type one enneagram! And being a big softie of an INFJ doesn't help that much either.
 

Billy

Crazy Diamond
Joined
Oct 20, 2009
Messages
1,192
MBTI Type
INFJ
Oh Gosh I want to do this so badly when somebody has hurt me. With me, right is right and wrong is wrong...so I am infuriated when somebody intentionally hurts me. But I don't really do anything back. I try to be the bigger person and end up acting overly nice. I come across as almost too calm and controlled...when inside I am sooo ANGRY. I experience this a lot with my mother...I so desperately want to put her down when she puts me down...but I just can't do it, I really can't express my anger. Damn you type one enneagram! And being a big softie of an INFJ doesn't help that much either.

hahahaaaa ditto for the most part.
 
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