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  1. #81
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    This thread is funny.


    INFP me: [Insert analysis on behavior]
    INTJ: Isn't that going a bit too far with the assumptions?
    INFP me: Yes, probably, but I didn't mean that... [Insert explanation] (Thoughts: I knew my thoughts were going to be judged. I am a horrible person for judging people. Next time I am going to keep my mouth shut... INTJ is right, I know too little about this - Investigate!]

    ---

    INFP me: [Insert a comment regarding my values]
    INTJ: [Insert a joke]
    INFP me: *laughs* (Thoughts: Yes, it was funny. INTJ knows me.)

    ---

    INFP me: I like you.
    INTJ: ...

    ---

    INTJ: I cried.
    INFP me: Aww. I know.

    ---

    INFP me: [Insert random Ne stuff]
    INTJ: ? I can't concentrate.
    INFP me: ...

    ---

    INFP me: I really like you.
    INTJ: I like discussing with you.

    ---

    INFP me + INTJ: [Insert NiFi stuff]

    ---

    INFP me: [Insert personal stuff]
    INTJ: [Insert Te stuff]
    INFP me: *confusion* [Insert hesitant Te stuff]
    INFP me: I like you.
    INTJ: I like you, too.

    ---

    INFP me: (Thoughts: That person is nice and smart.)
    INTJ: I've got to get to work.
    INFP me: Me too.
    INTJ: See you!
    INFP me: See you!


  2. #82
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    Quote Originally Posted by wired View Post
    This thread is funny.


    INFP me: [Insert analysis on behavior]
    INTJ: Isn't that going a bit too far with the assumptions?
    INFP me: Yes, probably, but I didn't mean that... [Insert explanation] (Thoughts: I knew my thoughts were going to be judged. I am a horrible person for judging people. Next time I am going to keep my mouth shut... INTJ is right, I know too little about this - Investigate!]

    ---

    INFP me: [Insert a comment regarding my values]
    INTJ: [Insert a joke]
    INFP me: *laughs* (Thoughts: Yes, it was funny. INTJ knows me.)

    ---

    INFP me: I like you.
    INTJ: ...

    ---

    INTJ: I cried.
    INFP me: Aww. I know.

    ---

    INFP me: [Insert random Ne stuff]
    INTJ: ? I can't concentrate.
    INFP me: ...

    ---

    INFP me: I really like you.
    INTJ: I like discussing with you.

    ---

    INFP me + INTJ: [Insert NiFi stuff]

    ---

    INFP me: [Insert personal stuff]
    INTJ: [Insert Te stuff]
    INFP me: *confusion* [Insert hesitant Te stuff]
    INFP me: I like you.
    INTJ: I like you, too.

    ---

    INFP me: (Thoughts: That person is nice and smart.)
    INTJ: I've got to get to work.
    INFP me: Me too.
    INTJ: See you!
    INFP me: See you!


    INFP me: [Insert personal stuff]
    INTJ me: [Insert Te stuff]
    INFP: *confusion* -> *rage*
    INFP: No, stop, annoying me already, please just leave okay?.
    INTJ me: What did I do to you? Please tell me.
    INFP: I said no, we can talk about this tomorrow I don't want to talk to you any more. *leaves*


    Simple as that.

    For my INTJ pal here, I just don't blacklist because I'm trying to improve myself to be able to deal with every kind of people, imagine, myself:

    Intuitive aptitude
    Empathy

    good lord.. so much potential I would have..

    Anyway don't see it as a selfish thing, I actually want to understand people since I have to deal with them.

  3. #83
    What is, is. Arthur Schopenhauer's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Sabre View Post
    For my INTJ pal here, I just don't blacklist because I'm trying to improve myself to be able to deal with every kind of people, imagine, myself:

    Intuitive aptitude
    Empathy

    good lord.. so much potential I would have..

    Anyway don't see it as a selfish thing, I actually want to understand people since I have to deal with them.
    Have fun with that.
    INTJ | 5w4 - Sp/Sx/So | 5-4-(9/1) | RLoEI | Melancholic-Choleric | Johari & Nohari

    This will not end well...
    But it will at least be poetic, I suppose...

    Hmm... But what if it does end well?
    Then I suppose it will be a different sort of poetry, a preferable sort...
    A sort I could become accustomed to...



  4. #84
    Uniqueorn William K's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Sabre View Post
    INFP me: [Insert personal stuff]
    INTJ me: [Insert Te stuff]
    INFP: *confusion* -> *rage*
    INFP: No, stop, annoying me already, please just leave okay?.
    INTJ me: What did I do to you? Please tell me.
    INFP: I said no, we can talk about this tomorrow I don't want to talk to you any more. *leaves*


    Simple as that.

    For my INTJ pal here, I just don't blacklist because I'm trying to improve myself to be able to deal with every kind of people, imagine, myself:

    Intuitive aptitude
    Empathy

    good lord.. so much potential I would have..

    Anyway don't see it as a selfish thing, I actually want to understand people since I have to deal with them.
    Sounds like the INFP is pretty stressed out, and it might have little to do with you. She might just be having a bad patch of people questioning her motives. I'm glad to hear that you are trying to communicate instead of just dismissing her.

    Can't speak for other INFPs, but I can have trouble explaining my motivations to others. Probably had too many experiences where I'm all bouncy and excited about something and I explain it to a friend and they look at me like I'm from another planet

    Anyway, as the important decisions I make are tied to my values; explaining how I come to a decision is a very personal thing to me. It feels like I'm exposing myself since my values reflect who I am inside. Only my close family and friends get to see this.

    Ok, now I'm rambling... Back to the question of improving INTJ-INFP communications. Find out where the line between being curious and being pushy is in regards to this specific INFP. When you see the defensive mechanism going into place, pull back a bit and let her think about it for a while.
    4w5, Fi>Ne>Ti>Si>Ni>Fe>Te>Se, sp > so > sx

    appreciates being appreciated, conflicted over conflicts, afraid of being afraid, bad at being bad, predictably unpredictable, consistently inconsistent, remarkably unremarkable...

    I may not agree with what you are feeling, but I will defend to death your right to have a good cry over it

    The whole problem with the world is that fools & fanatics are always so certain of themselves, and wiser people so full of doubts. ~ Bertrand Russell

  5. #85
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    Quote Originally Posted by William K View Post
    Sounds like the INFP is pretty stressed out, and it might have little to do with you. She might just be having a bad patch of people questioning her motives. I'm glad to hear that you are trying to communicate instead of just dismissing her.

    Can't speak for other INFPs, but I can have trouble explaining my motivations to others. Probably had too many experiences where I'm all bouncy and excited about something and I explain it to a friend and they look at me like I'm from another planet

    Anyway, as the important decisions I make are tied to my values; explaining how I come to a decision is a very personal thing to me. It feels like I'm exposing myself since my values reflect who I am inside. Only my close family and friends get to see this.

    Ok, now I'm rambling... Back to the question of improving INTJ-INFP communications. Find out where the line between being curious and being pushy is in regards to this specific INFP. When you see the defensive mechanism going into place, pull back a bit and let her think about it for a while.
    Ill try that out then.

    And MagnificentMind, not every INTJ is the same and actually don't have fun doing it just I think I have to, maybe one day I'll really snap and go back to my "people are useless" way to do things.

  6. #86
    Analytical Dreamer Coriolis's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Talisyn View Post
    Even "why?" can sound trivializing depending on how you say it... delivery is so important-
    If you want me to open up because you are genuinely curious:
    INTJ : I believe in A
    INFP : I believe in B
    INTJ : Oh, I've heard a bit about B, but I chose A because of this. What caused you to decide on B?
    This is so much more verbose, and contains no more information other than that INTJ has heard of B, which may not always be the case. A simple "why?" seems more concise and straightforward, but I get the impression from this thread that INFPs do not prefer it. How do the extra words help? Do they really convey additional meaning, or is it simply considered somehow gentler to use more words to say the same thing? (I have been told in some foreign language classes that using more words to ask a question is more polite.)

  7. #87
    THIS bitch stringstheory's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Coriolis View Post
    This is so much more verbose, and contains no more information other than that INTJ has heard of B, which may not always be the case. A simple "why?" seems more concise and straightforward, but I get the impression from this thread that INFPs do not prefer it. How do the extra words help? Do they really convey additional meaning, or is it simply considered somehow gentler to use more words to say the same thing? (I have been told in some foreign language classes that using more words to ask a question is more polite.)

    Well to me, a simple blunt "why?" sounds like an interrogation. When more words are used to ask me for more information, it SOUNDS, to me, like the other person is more engaged in what i've been talking about and therefore more interested. It may not be true, but when someone is blunt like that while i'm sorta absorbed in deep conversation, it indicates a sort of disinterest. even if I know it's probably just the preferred style of communication, it can be hard to shake off that feeling since I tend to communicate interest by what I perceive as engaging more...so bluntness can sometimes be a little confusing on my end. I can see how someone more sensitive to that could maybe see that as a personal attack of sorts, even if it's really not.

    I and probably other INFPs are looking to have a meaningful discussion. I see what you're saying, but for someone who is more sensitive to this it sounds a lot more like they're being interrogated and less like they are having a friendly discussion sometimes. it's not so much that you're SAYING more, but it sure feels like you are COMMUNICATING more, if that makes sense.
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  8. #88
    ReflecTcelfeR
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    Does a small pause then a 'why' make up for less words?

  9. #89
    THIS bitch stringstheory's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by ReflecttcelfeR View Post
    Does a small pause then a 'why' make up for less words?
    Yeah, it would make it easier for me to think that there is interest, but playing your hypothetical in my head I might still be inclined to think that there's some disconnect. there's a couple factors...some of it also depends on how engaged i perceived you to be before you ask "why". If not, then i might still be unsure. also, how well do i know you? i find i get this reaction more with new friends/acquaintances rather than with people i know REALLY well. Bluntness isn't too natural for me. honestly, what i'm really "looking" for is "oh, huh, because i think *insert your opinion*, so why?". that is what indicates interest to me: dialogue...or my perception of dialogue.

    it's hard to explain well...I can sometimes be a little socially awkward though, so really it's me projecting. i see it as over-analyzing and try to ignore that feeling personally, but others might actually have a strong negative reaction to that and feel it as a personal attack. i dunno.
    I just feel that using more words more helps me communicate more concisely, with you guys it seems like it's generally the opposite.
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  10. #90
    ReflecTcelfeR
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    Quote Originally Posted by stringstheory View Post
    I just feel that using more words more helps me communicate more concisely
    Good strategy for writing essays too. I understand what you are saying.

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