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[MBTI General] How do you cope with housework and daily life details?

Kate7

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Jun 6, 2010
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enfp
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Man, I struggle with this big time. Any hints on how not to let everything take over and stress you out all the time. I seem so shit at remembering things and fitting it all in is a huge chore. Yet I don't like to live in a mess ... any older wiser NF's out there who know how we can SJ those wee parts of our life so we can get on with the other, so much more INTERESTING stuff!!?
 

gromit

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Fun first, fit in details around it, buy underwear if you run out.
 

spin-1/2-nuclei

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381
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INTJ
Man, I struggle with this big time. Any hints on how not to let everything take over and stress you out all the time. I seem so shit at remembering things and fitting it all in is a huge chore. Yet I don't like to live in a mess ... any older wiser NF's out there who know how we can SJ those wee parts of our life so we can get on with the other, so much more INTERESTING stuff!!?

I'm not an NF, but as far as cleaning the house goes... this is what I do (I work in a lab though so you probably won't need the same frequency).. every morning I clean the bathroom after I shower etc, briefly - it takes about 5 minutes... Then twice a week I really clean it - takes about 20 or 30 minutes.

I always clean the kitchen after each use - takes about 5 or 10 minutes... if I'm cooking I tend to clean while I'm cooking...

I have hardwood floors and no carpeting so I dust and mop every weekend - takes about 2 or 3 hours depending on the time of year, but I typically combine this with brainstorming for work, watching TV, or listening to music.

So basically in short if you don't let it pile up it's really a lot easier to clean things...

For other stuff... buy a giant dry erase board and put it up on your wall, write down the things you need to get done in some really annoying color and happily erase them as they are completed. We did this system for our INTP friend and it works great for him.

good luck. :)
 

Lux

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Aug 6, 2009
Messages
1,458
Hehehehe, yeah, I hate all of this stuff too. At this point, after being married to a neat-freak busy body for many years it had pretty much become habit. Now, though I just pick up throughout the day, whenever I want to. I do something small, then I do something I want to do, then I do something small again. I break it up into little manageable tasks. When I do have to do the big things, I have a playlist that inspires me to clean. With bills and things, I usually just make sure I leave them out where I will see them... Otherwise they will get put into a random pile, so I keep them where I can see them and I order them by date.

So my advice is to do the boring stuff in-between the fun stuff. That's what I do. Or you can marry a neat-freak that doesn't like to clean for themselves. The choice is yours. :D
 

Arclight

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Lists ,lists and more lists.
I write lists just to remind me to write more lists.
 

Yloh

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Jul 31, 2009
Messages
183
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ENFJ
Well I clean up after myself as to prevent any mess. I am single, so I only do things like clean the bathroom, vacuum the floor, etc only once a week.

When things get too messy I tend to get really intimidated and have to do everything in small parts to complete a large cleaning project.
 

CuriousFeeling

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For me, what helps is to make set cleaning and laundry days during the week. Usually it's Thursday for cleaning, and Monday and Friday for laundry. I listen to music while doing the cleaning, or just letting my brain travel off in some other place other than the cleaning. Gives me an opportunity to think of what I'm going to create.
 

Yloh

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Jul 31, 2009
Messages
183
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ENFJ
For me, what helps is to make set cleaning and laundry days during the week. Usually it's Thursday for cleaning, and Monday and Friday for laundry. I listen to music while doing the cleaning, or just letting my brain travel off in some other place other than the cleaning. Gives me an opportunity to think of what I'm going to create.

This helps me a lot. :yes:
 

cafe

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I have a large family and I'm really pretty horrible about keeping up with stuff. So far the only thing that has really helped is podcast novels. If I'm listing to a good story while I'm doing stuff, it hardly feels like work.

Podiobooks FTW! Librivox is pretty good, too. Both are free.
 

Halla74

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Jan 20, 2009
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Man, I struggle with this big time. Any hints on how not to let everything take over and stress you out all the time. I seem so shit at remembering things and fitting it all in is a huge chore.

ANSWER 1:
The answer to your question is to integrate form and function.

Minimize your household composition.

Get rid of "stuff" that does not have a regular (used 1x per year or more) purpose.

If there is less stuff strewn everywhere, then there is less to clean, less to become unwieldy, and more time to focus on life itself...

ANSWER 2:
You must also integrate your HOUSEHOLD CLEANING into your DAILY ROUTINE.

If you start with a clean house, and then let it go to shit, it will likely take you several hours (or the proverbial "weekend") to get it back in order.

BUT - if you start with a clean house (2 days work, wall to wall, and floor to ceiling, just accept that as an initiation fee)...

...AND then commit to performing common household tasks as it becomes necessary to do them (and not just when the whole place has gone to hell in a handbasket) then your home will never stray too far from its ideal state.

ASSUMPTION:
Saturday: Clean entire pig sty

HALLA'S EASY-PEEZY MAINTENANCE SCHEDULE:
(1) Sunday: Do the dishes/tidy up the kitchen
(2) Monday: Do one or two loads of laundry
(3) Tuesday: Spray mildew remover in the shower, pour bleach in the toilet bowl
(4) Wednesday: Sweep and vaccuum!
(5) Thursday: Take the garbage and recycling out
(6) Friday: De-clutter, and then have a glass of wine as you enjoy your posh pimp crib.
(7) Saturday: You are free to do as you choose, and your house is clean, go forth and frolic, and prosper...

Yet I don't like to live in a mess ... any older wiser NF's out there who know how we can SJ those wee parts of our life so we can get on with the other, so much more INTERESTING stuff!!?

See above. I'm married to an NF, and understand how you all revel in idealizing about the world in all its various potential wonderful conformations, and have seen how such meander-dreaming can cause a disconnect with the pigsty of reality. BUT - I have also seen and enjoyed many conformations of the world as you intended it to be for me, and enjoyed it very, very much, so if I can offer a little practical counsel to keep the miracles flowing my way, I'm able to be selfless enough to make that happen... :newwink:

Be organized to the point that it is a benefit to your life, not a burden. If your environment is pleasing to your eyes, and you can find all you need when you need it, then you have accomplished creating a HOME and not just A PLACE TO THROW YOUR STUFF. :happy:
 

cafe

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I will see if I can try that, Halla. My ISTP dad is coming over 'sometime this week' so I've got to clean up anyway. He's not exactly a neat-freak but let's just say he's a lot neater than I am. :whistling:
 

Halla74

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I will see if I can try that, Halla. My ISTP dad is coming over 'sometime this week' so I've got to clean up anyway. He's not exactly a neat-freak but let's just say he's a lot neater than I am. :whistling:

Go for it! :rock:

I keep my house clean and orderly enough for ME to be happy. Everyone else's needs are inconsequential. If they don't like the layout or the state of things they can pitch in and clean it to their liking. :laugh:

Admittedly though, I am ~51% P/~49% J so I am hardly a slob, but I assure you I am not a neat freak either...
 

Esoteric Wench

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Dec 20, 2009
Messages
945
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ANSWER 1:
The answer to your question is to integrate form and function.

Minimize your household composition.

Get rid of "stuff" that does not have a regular (used 1x per year or more) purpose.

If there is less stuff strewn everywhere, then there is less to clean, less to become unwieldy, and more time to focus on life itself...

ANSWER 2:
You must also integrate your HOUSEHOLD CLEANING into your DAILY ROUTINE.

If you start with a clean house, and then let it go to shit, it will likely take you several hours (or the proverbial "weekend") to get it back in order.

BUT - if you start with a clean house (2 days work, wall to wall, and floor to ceiling, just accept that as an initiation fee)...

...AND then commit to performing common household tasks as it becomes necessary to do them (and not just when the whole place has gone to hell in a handbasket) then your home will never stray too far from its ideal state.

ASSUMPTION:
Saturday: Clean entire pig sty

HALLA'S EASY-PEEZY MAINTENANCE SCHEDULE:
(1) Sunday: Do the dishes/tidy up the kitchen
(2) Monday: Do one or two loads of laundry
(3) Tuesday: Spray mildew remover in the shower, pour bleach in the toilet bowl
(4) Wednesday: Sweep and vaccuum!
(5) Thursday: Take the garbage and recycling out
(6) Friday: De-clutter, and then have a glass of wine as you enjoy your posh pimp crib.
(7) Saturday: You are free to do as you choose, and your house is clean, go forth and frolic, and prosper...



See above. I'm married to an NF, and understand how you all revel in idealizing about the world in all its various potential wonderful conformations, and have seen how such meander-dreaming can cause a disconnect with the pigsty of reality. BUT - I have also seen and enjoyed many conformations of the world as you intended it to be for me, and enjoyed it very, very much, so if I can offer a little practical counsel to keep the miracles flowing my way, I'm able to be selfless enough to make that happen... :newwink:

Be organized to the point that it is a benefit to your life, not a burden. If your environment is pleasing to your eyes, and you can find all you need when you need it, then you have accomplished creating a HOME and not just A PLACE TO THROW YOUR STUFF. :happy:

I may very well have to rethink my decision to never date an S again*. Wow! It might totally be worth the S/N communication gap to have my life kept in order like this.



*ISTPs are the exception.
 

ceecee

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Apr 22, 2008
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I very much subscribe to the 80/20 rule of time management in most aspects of life. When it comes to housework and daily tasks I want the highest result in the most efficient way. I absolutely agree that minimizing the "stuff" is the best place to start. Lists are a good next step. Keep in mind that when you stay on top of things, the less you will have to do on a daily basis. Don't wait until you're knee deep in shit to start. Organization is easily maintainable when you already have some order. Then you can get on with the more fun stuff.

Do one load of laundry every day instead of waiting to do it all on one day. Deep clean the bathrooms once a week and just daily upkeep (sinks, toilets) that takes a couple minutes. Wash dishes/load dishwasher as you cook, don't pile everything in the sink. Don't get me wrong, I'm not anal and uptight about cleaning. I grew up in that kind of house and it's not healthy. Plus I have a housekeeper that comes once a week for the bigger cleaning jobs so most of my job is upkeep. I work, I pay for her services so I see this as simple delegation and nothing more.

I'm also married to an NF who also subscribes to the 80/20 rule. That makes things a whole lot easier for us as a couple.
 

nynesneg

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Oct 18, 2009
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Man, I struggle with this big time. Any hints on how not to let everything take over and stress you out all the time. I seem so shit at remembering things and fitting it all in is a huge chore. Yet I don't like to live in a mess ... any older wiser NF's out there who know how we can SJ those wee parts of our life so we can get on with the other, so much more INTERESTING stuff!!?

Um.... I live and die by lists and sticky notes. Compulsively.
I keep everything in a schedule my planner, there's no way I could remember otherwise since I'm generally gone 12-14 hours during the day.

I have a routine. When I get home I put my bags of stuff away (gym, lunch, school bag, laptop, purse, clothes etc). Everything has a place. Then I get most those bags ready again the night before.

Sometimes stacks pile up on my desk during the week, but I always put stuff away on the weekends because I can't focus on work if my space isn't clean. I frequently write to-do lists on scratch paper when I get home to help me remember stuff. I've probably impared my short term memory because I use lists so much. Even for just a few things to remember them, and it really helps me focus when I get home and use my time productively.

Closet drawer organization, and cleaning bathrooms are a different story, and dusting forget it. ;)

Gotta utilize that natural J darling! :D You'll get the hang of it.
Routines and I love each other...:wubbie: If I don't have my weekly pattern my whole fitness schedule and stuff gets thrown off.
 

King sns

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Nov 4, 2008
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I am extremely strange when it comes to chores and I'm almost embarrassed to be typing this. Must be my Te trying to compensate for the rest of me... but here goes.

Daily: (With alarms set.)
10 minute bedroom cleanup
20 minute house cleanup
30 minute "business" (bill paying and phone calling and emailing and whatever other paperwork.)

"Cleanup" includes laundry and taking out the trash etc.- so like during room cleanup if there is a full hamper I will throw in laundry first and switch it next time there is a "cleanup." So if it's Monday "cleanup" I will take out the trash. And if it's Tuesday "cleanup" I will take the bucket back in. I love a clean house but I hate chores. And that's how I do it. My house actually runs quite smoothly when I follow my little rules. It seems almost a little rainmanish or something weird. But at least this way I can keep in mind that chores end eventually and I am 10X happier when I'm done.

I try to do cleanup and business first thing so I can enjoy the rest of my day! (Well.. I try..)
 
P

Phantonym

Guest
Setting up a simple but efficient system and following it is the best tactic, in my opinion. Or at least it works for me. :laugh: When it comes to cleaning up the house or organizing my stuff, my strategy is simple - don't make a mess and you won't have to clean it up. I try not to let things pile up to the point where I'd rather sell my place than clean it. I do the things that can be done immediately, such as cleaning up the dishes or getting stuff in the laundry and I do them fast not to let the thought of "meh, I can do that later on" to interfere because I already know that things will pile up that way. The bigger stuff do take some time to get started, mostly depending on my mood. But, for me, all of this is easily done because I don't have loads of stuff or pets or children to storm around the house like a tornado.

I guess my advice would be to maybe come up with a plan and definitely write it down. If you have other people living with you, make sure to include them as well, don't try to tackle this all on your own because this will just get you frustrated. If you live alone, make a simple plan and stick to it even if you don't really feel like it and try to find at least something fun in doing the things. Combine it with things that are pleasant for you, maybe listen to your favourite music or something like that. Try to keep in mind that postponing doing stuff will not get you anywhere but being frustrated when you think about all the things you should be doing. It's better to get things out of the way so that you could enjoy doing much more interesting stuff.

Good luck. :)

Edit: Haha, I didn't read other responses before replying, so sorry for being redundant.
 

Flutterby

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May 27, 2010
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5
I don't know if you already know of it, but there's this Fly Lady website that's designed for people who have trouble with housework. I know it's a bit cheesy but it helped me out a lot a few years back when I was struggling with depression. She basically says the same things that everyone else said like declutter, daily maintenance but she gives you that extra little boost if you're severely lacking in motivation.

One of her best tips is to set a timer for fifteen minutes. If you mentally tell yourself that you can stop when the timer goes off you will often find that the housework wasn't that bad after all and once you get started you don't want to stop. Or you actually start to enjoy it. Or maybe that's just me. :)
 

Esoteric Wench

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I don't know if you already know of it, but there's this Fly Lady website that's designed for people who have trouble with housework. I know it's a bit cheesy but it helped me out a lot a few years back when I was struggling with depression. She basically says the same things that everyone else said like declutter, daily maintenance but she gives you that extra little boost if you're severely lacking in motivation.

One of her best tips is to set a timer for fifteen minutes. If you mentally tell yourself that you can stop when the timer goes off you will often find that the housework wasn't that bad after all and once you get started you don't want to stop. Or you actually start to enjoy it. Or maybe that's just me. :)

The advice is really good. You can read more about it here: FlyLady - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia

However, I had a very hard time getting past all that girlie girl fluff. But I tend to be out of the female mainstream on such things. As long as it works for people, then who am I to roll my eyes at the cutesiness.
 
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