• You are currently viewing our forum as a guest, which gives you limited access to view most discussions and access our other features. By joining our free community, you will have access to additional post topics, communicate privately with other members (PM), view blogs, respond to polls, upload content, and access many other special features. Registration is fast, simple and absolutely free, so please join our community today! Just click here to register. You should turn your Ad Blocker off for this site or certain features may not work properly. If you have any problems with the registration process or your account login, please contact us by clicking here.

[NF] Do NFs focus on what is said more than most people?

JFrombaugh

New member
Joined
Jan 27, 2010
Messages
64
MBTI Type
INFP
Enneagram
9w1
Instinctual Variant
sp/sx
I am just curious because I seem to be a lot like this myself. I learned in middle school that only 7% of a person's message in communication is communicated through the actual spoken words (the other 93% is body language & tone of voice). But for NF types it seems to be more.

For example, I know that INFPs & INFJs can sometimes take offense and get hurt when people jokingly make fun of them (even if body language and tone suggest they don't really mean it), and one ENFJ woman I know tends to get even more worked up when she hears someone say “relax” or “calm down” because what she hears is that the other person thinks she’s being irrational over nothing, which generally makes her do anything but calm down.

I would also mention that this seems to be more apparant when certain things are said depending on the person, and I DO pay attention to body language and tone of voice a lot too, but...it just seems that we NFs spend a LOT of time reflecting on things other people have said or done, and we try to find meaning in speech, so sometimes our N's deductive reasoning can get distorted by our F's emotions in that regard.

Is this true for you guys too or am I just totally off in space here?
 

Lady_X

Well-known member
Joined
Oct 27, 2008
Messages
18,235
MBTI Type
ENFP
Enneagram
784
Instinctual Variant
sx/sp
i think we focus on what is implied more than most.
 

AphroditeGoneAwry

failure to thrive
Joined
Feb 20, 2009
Messages
5,585
MBTI Type
INfj
Enneagram
451
Instinctual Variant
sx/so
I hear dick when people talk. seriously. I am paying attention to everything else pretty much but what they say. And I think that statistic is innaccurate. I think people's exact words can be highly illuminating. My Se dom/aux peeps pick up on more of everything than I do. I'm too busy trying to intuit the whys to focus on the whats.

I hate to be told to 'calm down' too simply because it implies there is something wrong with being passionate. I get heated and excited sometimes. It's just how I am. It's the person who's telling me to calm down that needs to calm down. :mad:

I'm an INFJ btw. :)
 

Thalassa

Permabanned
Joined
May 3, 2009
Messages
25,183
MBTI Type
ISFP
Enneagram
6w7
Instinctual Variant
sx
I pay lots of attention to body language, facial expression, eye contact, etc.

I do tend to overanalyze people's words sometimes, though, that could be it.
 

CuriousFeeling

From the Undertow
Joined
Dec 18, 2009
Messages
2,937
MBTI Type
INfJ
Enneagram
4w5
Instinctual Variant
sp/sx
Guilty as charged of this kind of thing. Constantly have to remind myself not to take things personally. lol
 

Unkindloving

Lungs & Lips Locked
Joined
Dec 10, 2009
Messages
2,963
MBTI Type
ENFJ
Enneagram
4w5
I observe absolutely everything. I know this is typical, but i'm rarely incorrect about what i deduce from analyzing what has been said and in what context.
It's a bit obnoxious at times, especially when others are oblivious to their own meanings when i'm in tune with them. However, i don't take offense too frequently. I think that's a bigger problem and people who get offended easily should work on tuning out if they can.

Hidden meanings are like buried treasure.
 

valentine

New member
Joined
May 29, 2009
Messages
106
MBTI Type
intj
Enneagram
5w4
Instinctual Variant
so/sp
i think we focus on what is implied more than most.

Its pretty much this for me. While people can say something, their words have a totally differing connotation. Words have so many implications. I'm pretty oblivious to things like body language however. I'm sure this accounts for my odd interpretations of things.
 

musicnerd93

New member
Joined
Apr 19, 2010
Messages
249
MBTI Type
INFP
Enneagram
4w5
I overanalyze words a lot and take criticism where none was intended, if that's what you mean.
 

JFrombaugh

New member
Joined
Jan 27, 2010
Messages
64
MBTI Type
INFP
Enneagram
9w1
Instinctual Variant
sp/sx
A lot of times when I take these certain spoken words to heart, I also have this voice in the back of my mind that's telling me "If he had intended to (insert perceived action), I think he would have such and such" but it doesn't change the fact that the words themselves still invoke that emotional response.

It's kind of hard to explain, but I think most NFs will know what I mean.

I hate to be told to 'calm down' too simply because it implies there is something wrong with being passionate. I get heated and excited sometimes. It's just how I am. It's the person who's telling me to calm down that needs to calm down. :mad:

I'm an INFJ btw. :)

This is one of the many apparant paradoxes about INFJs, because from what I've seen their typical approach when they are "counseling" is to try to comfort the other person and calm them down. But yeah, don't tell an INFJ that she's too sensitive or overreacting if you know what's good for ya. :)
 

OrangeAppled

Sugar Hiccup
Joined
Mar 20, 2009
Messages
7,626
MBTI Type
INFP
Enneagram
4w5
Instinctual Variant
sp/sx
i think we focus on what is implied more than most.

:yes:

I read between lines and am very sensitive to word choice & phrasing. Tone of voice is more noticeable for me than body language & facial expressions though. I can't say I read people that well physically, even if I note it. I pick up on emotional vibes better.

I would say I also pay almost as much attention to what is not said as to what is said. That can certainly make you prone to seeing criticism where there is none & adding meaning that was not intended. Funny how it does not work the other way for me - I tend to qualify compliments and not take them very seriously, which basically devalues their meaning.
 

William K

Uniqueorn
Joined
Aug 13, 2009
Messages
986
MBTI Type
INFP
Enneagram
4w5
Personally speaking, I feel I have an internal model of the world in my head. Think of it like a huge jigsaw puzzle. Whenever I get an input (vocal or otherwise), I try to see how it fits into this puzzle. Sometimes it fits perfectly and everything is fine. But sometimes it doesn't and that's where the intuitive part of me often gets me in trouble, as it tends to over-analyse, over-generalise and jump to conclusions.
 

Yloh

New member
Joined
Jul 31, 2009
Messages
183
MBTI Type
ENFJ
Reading people's faces and voices is super easy for me. Reading body language, however, is still something that takes more energy to try and read than the other two, which takes no energy.

I also really read into the current situation, past situations, and where the situation is headed to really get a full picture on what is going on.

It is ultimately looking at the big picture. What is the big picture of what is being said? I gather clues from every little detail that I can find (emotions, situations past, present, and future, motive, etc) to connect the pieces together.
 

SillySapienne

`~~Philosoflying~~`
Joined
Jan 14, 2008
Messages
9,801
MBTI Type
ENFP
Enneagram
4w5
Context, history, the person with whom I'm talking to, their body language, their tone, all of these plus what they are verbally saying go into my mind when I try to hear what they are *actually* saying.

:)
 

Rebe

New member
Joined
Nov 15, 2009
Messages
1,431
MBTI Type
INFP
Enneagram
4sop
I am hyper-sensitive to other people's tone, body language, general vibe... I am usually right too, usually. I like to be prepared and I like to say the right things so I look for clues as to how to act. I too often say things without thinking or go overboard sometimes so I am careful to keep my craziness to myself around people who would not ... appreciate it, haha. I think we definitely do and sometimes, it is a positive thing and sometimes it is a negative thing. If it becomes too much of a negative aspect of yourself and in your life, you need to balance it out and not care too much. But being aware of other people's intentions, because people do have hidden, unspoken intentions, can be useful. There are people who are always straight-forward and there are those who are not and is quite manipulative so studying behavior, facial and tone patterns and such is good. People can say whatever they want, anything can come out of their mouths, but it is not as easy to blatantly lie with the more subtle aspects of communication. I dislike it when people dismiss it as unimportant.
 

Southern Kross

Away with the fairies
Joined
Dec 22, 2008
Messages
2,910
MBTI Type
INFP
Enneagram
4w5
Instinctual Variant
so/sp
I don't tend to look at people as they are speaking so I often miss body language. It's very hard for me to hear what someone is saying if I don't. I think its because I'm a very much a visual thinker and when I look at someone, the body language and facial expression drown out the words.

This probably makes it more likely to misinterpret what people say but then it is very likely that this isn't an INFP thing...

As for picking up clues that provide insight to character, this rarely happens for me on the spot. Later, when I think about what a person said, how they said it and how they behaved I piece together theories about them. If I try to think about this at the time I wander into anti-social zone out mode which isn't usually appropriate.
 
P

Phantonym

Guest
I also really read into the current situation, past situations, and where the situation is headed to really get a full picture on what is going on.

It is ultimately looking at the big picture. What is the big picture of what is being said? I gather clues from every little detail that I can find (emotions, situations past, present, and future, motive, etc) to connect the pieces together.

This is exactly what I do as well.

I tend to overanalyze things, well, just about everything. I feel that I have to do this to convince myself that I've perceived things exactly the way they are and take into account what is said and what could be left unsaid. I do try not to jump into conclusions and I certainly don't think that whatever I come up with is the absolute truth. I realize that there are no certainties with anything.

In "real" life, the body language, tone of voice, facial expressions and so on can be helpful but usually I'm not really that aware of observing them. It's like I already "know" without paying that much attention to it and when I doubt, I can focus more for a bit.

However, in online interactions, I really miss the nonverbal communication cues and therefore the analyzing process goes into overdrive. Sometimes every single word, every sentence structure gets chewed to the point of nausea and I can't help it, I feel helpless if I can't at least make an effort to try to piece together the big picture. :doh:
 

MoneyJungle

New member
Joined
Feb 3, 2009
Messages
41
MBTI Type
INFP
For example, I know that INFPs & INFJs can sometimes take offense and get hurt when people jokingly make fun of them (even if body language and tone suggest they don't really mean it)

A lot of the time supposedly good natured ribbing is animosity veiled by a fake smile. I didn't begin to notice this as a power play until fairly recently in life. People often just want to insult others while maintaining plausible deniability when they become offended. I can overlook this type of behavior of it is actually funny/insightful.
 
Last edited:

Eckhart

New member
Joined
Jan 6, 2010
Messages
1,090
MBTI Type
INFP
Enneagram
???
It happens often that people say something without much intention and I overanalyze those words, usually in negative way, so that I look out for criticism and get hurt for nothing (or at least they say so) :doh:
 

Virtual ghost

Complex paradigm
Joined
Jun 6, 2008
Messages
19,769
Tell me something NFs, how wrong it is to say something like this to someone who is close to you.



To be honest with you, I don't really appreciate that you did this for me and the fact you did it personally means nothing to me.





This is what my mother got a few years back for buying me a birthday persent
 
P

Phantonym

Guest
Tell me something NFs, how wrong it is to say something like this to someone who is close to you.


To be honest with you, I don't really appreciate that you did this for me and the fact you did it personally means nothing to me.


This is what my mother got a few years back for buying me a birthday persent

:rofl1: You crack me up, AO. Is she still trying to get you presents? I get your rationale but yeah...it's inconsiderate. One could also argue that it's inconsiderate to keep ignoring what the other person wants or needs. But I'm sure your mother had the best intentions in mind and it meant something to her, an expression that she cares about you. It's not wrong to express your opinion but it's all about the wording because this is the sure way to hurt people's feelings when it's not really necessary. If you want things to go your way, it might be best to try to take an approach that wouldn't be so blunt but rather that explains your reasons some more.
 
Top