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[NF] The NF Males' List of Deal Breakers (Rip off)

Billy

Crazy Diamond
Joined
Oct 20, 2009
Messages
1,192
MBTI Type
INFJ
@Billy

Hahaha! Started laughing out loud reading your list. I'm the girl of your dreams! Only two points I don't have, including the extra credit ones :))

Pity I'm taken... by another INFJ. They're right, ENFP+INFJ is just the ultimate. Find yourself an ENFP, Billy. You won't be sorry.

I only know 1, and its a dude, hes one of my best friends though. I am currently courting an ENTJ after my string of INTJ girls, I dont seek NTs i swear they flock to me!
 

Yloh

New member
Joined
Jul 31, 2009
Messages
183
MBTI Type
ENFJ
As someone with a mental illness, and being in the group of individuals with an extremely high functioning level - having this on your "can accept" list is very disturbing. If you honestly have to think about being with someone and "consider" the situation, then maybe you should never be with someone with a mental illness. I know for myself that if someone has to consider that my mental illness might be a deal breaker - I don't want to be anywhere near them relationship or otherwise.

I think you are taking my "can accept" on mental illness way too personal.

First of all, I have a sister and grandmother with bipolar disorder (my sister and I get along better than most siblings). I lived with a person for two and a half years who had both bipolar and obsessive compulsive disorder (he is considered on of my best friends ever). I also have a friend with paranoia schizophrenia. Mental illness is nothing new to me and I know how to deal with people with those disorders. That is one reason why I can accept it.

Also read the quote below as Phoenix 400 hit the nail on the head.

Well, I can kinda see where he's coming from. He did say 'Depending on the situation'. There are a lot of different types of mental illness out there. If you've got someone with an illness that can manifest itself in sudden violent outbursts, that's a legitimate safety concern. What if they fly into a rage and injure you, themselves, or another loved one?

Example: I had a friend whose ex-wife used to beat herself when she became upset. If he tried to get her to stop, she would turn and attack him. I've also received a few kicks/bites/scratches from trying to subdue her when somebody set her off at a party and she attacked them (Guy refused to defend himself and she would continue the assault when he tried to disengage/leave the party). She also suddenly jumped out of my truck at 20mph after agreeing to leave the party because she decided she wanted to go back and continue trying to kick the person's ass. All it would've taken was for her to grab a knife, gun, bat, etc. and she could've killed/seriously injured someone and not even really meant to do it...or been killed when she jumped out of my truck (broken her neck, got caught under my rear tire, etc.). Then suddenly I'd be facing a police investigation and possible vehicular manslaughter charges for trying to do the right thing on top of the mental/emotional anguish of having someone you know die right in front of you (PTSD is a mother to deal with, speaking from experience). The worst thing is she would blame others for setting her off or not stopping her instead of seeking help for the problem.

I think the biggest deciding factor on the subject of dating someone with a mental illness is whether or not they're seeking help for the problem. If they're ignoring the problem or not trying to work on it, I'd really rather not deal with it (You can't help someone unless they're willing to help themselves, oftentimes you'll be dragged down by it if you try). If they are seeking help, and depending on how the illness manifests itself, I'd be more likely to stick around and offer them love, support, and encouragement.
 

runvardh

にゃん
Joined
Jun 23, 2007
Messages
8,541
MBTI Type
INFP
Enneagram
6w7
Instinctual Variant
sx/so
I'm no pretty picture of mental health either (just look at the inconsistencies in my posts on this board :doh:), but sudden violent outbursts are not fun to deal with unless the person is co-operative in the help end of things. I have people scared when my temper flares up. I haven't done anything in well over a decade, but I don't expect that to be any consolation for someone getting to know me. It sucks, but when something is wrong, it doesn't always affect just the person with the problem.
 

Thalassa

Permabanned
Joined
May 3, 2009
Messages
25,183
MBTI Type
ISFP
Enneagram
6w7
Instinctual Variant
sx
I think the biggest deciding factor on the subject of dating someone with a mental illness is whether or not they're seeking help for the problem. If they're ignoring the problem or not trying to work on it, I'd really rather not deal with it (You can't help someone unless they're willing to help themselves, oftentimes you'll be dragged down by it if you try). If they are seeking help, and depending on how the illness manifests itself, I'd be more likely to stick around and offer them love, support, and encouragement.

This. Totally this.
 

Esoteric Wench

Professional Trickster
Joined
Dec 20, 2009
Messages
945
MBTI Type
ENFP
Enneagram
7w8
Must Have:
pretty face
attractive body
Intelligence
humility
passion
compassion
a respectful nature
grateful for the small things
love life
want a family
sense of humor
connect emotionally
loyalty
good at sex

Extra Credit:
Geek girl / Gamer girl
Like horror movies (big extra credit)
into astronomy
reads a lot / writes
interested in expanding both mind and soul.

Deal breaker:
untrustworthy (cheating, lying, etc)
domineering/controlling
obsess on material as the ONLY thing in life.
judgmental
careless of other peoples feelings
obese
unhygienic

Yeah, I have to admit that this is sort of a deal breaker for me. I'm in my late 30s. If you haven't figured out how to develop a baseline proficiency in lovemaking by my age... well let me just say that life is too short to spend it with 2 D batteries.

PS (Competency includes having more than two positions in your repertoire.)

:rofl1:
 

cafe

Well-known member
Joined
Apr 19, 2007
Messages
9,827
MBTI Type
INFJ
Enneagram
9w1
Well, I can kinda see where he's coming from. He did say 'Depending on the situation'. There are a lot of different types of mental illness out there. If you've got someone with an illness that can manifest itself in sudden violent outbursts, that's a legitimate safety concern. What if they fly into a rage and injure you, themselves, or another loved one?

Example: I had a friend whose ex-wife used to beat herself when she became upset. If he tried to get her to stop, she would turn and attack him. I've also received a few kicks/bites/scratches from trying to subdue her when somebody set her off at a party and she attacked them (Guy refused to defend himself and she would continue the assault when he tried to disengage/leave the party). She also suddenly jumped out of my truck at 20mph after agreeing to leave the party because she decided she wanted to go back and continue trying to kick the person's ass. All it would've taken was for her to grab a knife, gun, bat, etc. and she could've killed/seriously injured someone and not even really meant to do it...or been killed when she jumped out of my truck (broken her neck, got caught under my rear tire, etc.). Then suddenly I'd be facing a police investigation and possible vehicular manslaughter charges for trying to do the right thing on top of the mental/emotional anguish of having someone you know die right in front of you (PTSD is a mother to deal with, speaking from experience). The worst thing is she would blame others for setting her off or not stopping her instead of seeking help for the problem.

I think the biggest deciding factor on the subject of dating someone with a mental illness is whether or not they're seeking help for the problem. If they're ignoring the problem or not trying to work on it, I'd really rather not deal with it (You can't help someone unless they're willing to help themselves, oftentimes you'll be dragged down by it if you try). If they are seeking help, and depending on how the illness manifests itself, I'd be more likely to stick around and offer them love, support, and encouragement.
Uh huh. There is mental illness and there is crazy. Crazy, destructive people (especially if they aren't seeking help) are not good to be in a relationship with.

A friend of my mom's goes psycho when she gets angry and does things like dump her husband's tool box (it's a big one because he's a contractor) in the middle of the street. The neighbors called the police on them more than once because she was flipping out and and doing crazy stuff. I think they do love each other and they have three kids together, but they keep separating because he can't live with her.

She's really nice and seems pretty normal when she's not flipped out, so I feel sorry for her, but I would seriously advise anyone I cared about (or just didn't hate) to pass on somebody like that. That's no kind of life.
 

runvardh

にゃん
Joined
Jun 23, 2007
Messages
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Yeah, I have to admit that this is sort of a deal breaker for me. I'm in my late 30s. If you haven't figured out how to develop a baseline proficiency in lovemaking by my age... well let me just say that life is too short to spend it with 2 D batteries.

PS (Competency includes having more than two positions in your repertoire.)

:rofl1:

What counts as an individual position? There are so many that are just permutations of a few basic ones.
 

Esoteric Wench

Professional Trickster
Joined
Dec 20, 2009
Messages
945
MBTI Type
ENFP
Enneagram
7w8
What counts as an individual position? There are so many that are just permutations of a few basic ones.

Now that's what I love about intuitives. They can see ALL the angles... and I guess I mean that literally.

:smile::smile::smile:
 

Billy

Crazy Diamond
Joined
Oct 20, 2009
Messages
1,192
MBTI Type
INFJ
Yeah, I have to admit that this is sort of a deal breaker for me. I'm in my late 30s. If you haven't figured out how to develop a baseline proficiency in lovemaking by my age... well let me just say that life is too short to spend it with 2 D batteries.

PS (Competency includes having more than two positions in your repertoire.)

:rofl1:

Totally! ;)

I never understood some of my friends attraction to virgins... maybe insecurity.
 

runvardh

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Messages
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Now that's what I love about intuitives. They can see ALL the angles... and I guess I mean that literally.

:smile::smile::smile:

Angles, rotations, suspentions, a few other things that would need to be in the Mature section...
 

Billy

Crazy Diamond
Joined
Oct 20, 2009
Messages
1,192
MBTI Type
INFJ
What counts as an individual position? There are so many that are just permutations of a few basic ones.

Good point, essentially we're only trying to hit the same few spots lol
 

runvardh

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Good point, essentially we're only trying to hit the same few spots lol

Exactly... after that is how artistic you want to be in doing it.
 

Billy

Crazy Diamond
Joined
Oct 20, 2009
Messages
1,192
MBTI Type
INFJ
Exactly... after that is how artistic you want to be in doing it.

Like pushing your woman down flat on the bed from doggy style and just working the g spot against the bed... so much fun :D
 

Esoteric Wench

Professional Trickster
Joined
Dec 20, 2009
Messages
945
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ENFP
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Like pushing your woman down flat on the bed from doggy style and just working the g spot against the bed... so much fun :D

Ha! Oh my God! Billy, you may be my dream man.

An INFJ who isn't afraid of talkin' naughty.

I have to go take a shower now.

:harhar:
 

runvardh

にゃん
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I'd have to post in the mature section to discuss things I'd like to experiment with if I had a girl open enough to it.
 

Billy

Crazy Diamond
Joined
Oct 20, 2009
Messages
1,192
MBTI Type
INFJ
Ha! Oh my God! Billy, you may be my dream man.

An INFJ who isn't afraid of talkin' naughty.

I have to go take a shower now.

:harhar:

haha sorrrrry

Actually im not, im such a hornball. My preferred method of expressing my feelings is physically typically, that can show up in so many ways especially sexually :p i like entirely too much adventurous stuff. Still looking for someone to tie me up :p
 

Billy

Crazy Diamond
Joined
Oct 20, 2009
Messages
1,192
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INFJ
I'd have to post in the mature section to discuss things I'd like to experiment with if I had a girl open enough to it.

I know it, and thats just the mild stuff, the crap im into is NUTSO. Is it wrong that I love being used and discounted as a person and selfishly used/abused for someone elses sexual gratification? I wonder if thats the Fe in me...
 

runvardh

にゃん
Joined
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I know it, and thats just the mild stuff, the crap im into is NUTSO. Is it wrong that I love being used and discounted as a person and selfishly used/abused for someone elses sexual gratification? I wonder if thats the Fe in me...

Some days I enjoy it, other days I want to be the boss, some days I want to fight with her for control. Other ideas include carnival rides, suspended ropes and loops, zero G...
 

Billy

Crazy Diamond
Joined
Oct 20, 2009
Messages
1,192
MBTI Type
INFJ
Some days I enjoy it, other days I want to be the boss, some days I want to fight with her for control. Other ideas include carnival rides, suspended ropes and loops, zero G...

Hells yeah I love trading control/power sexually. You're spot on, some days I just want to be the male in the situation and be a brute. Toss her around, rip the underwear and bra off, i dont mean aggressively remove I mean rip. Ugh.
 
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