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  1. #21
    Crazy Diamond Billy's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by blomiki View Post
    @Billy

    Hahaha! Started laughing out loud reading your list. I'm the girl of your dreams! Only two points I don't have, including the extra credit ones )

    Pity I'm taken... by another INFJ. They're right, ENFP+INFJ is just the ultimate. Find yourself an ENFP, Billy. You won't be sorry.
    I only know 1, and its a dude, hes one of my best friends though. I am currently courting an ENTJ after my string of INTJ girls, I dont seek NTs i swear they flock to me!
    Ground control to Major Tom

  2. #22
    Senior Member Yloh's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Rainbows View Post
    As someone with a mental illness, and being in the group of individuals with an extremely high functioning level - having this on your "can accept" list is very disturbing. If you honestly have to think about being with someone and "consider" the situation, then maybe you should never be with someone with a mental illness. I know for myself that if someone has to consider that my mental illness might be a deal breaker - I don't want to be anywhere near them relationship or otherwise.
    I think you are taking my "can accept" on mental illness way too personal.

    First of all, I have a sister and grandmother with bipolar disorder (my sister and I get along better than most siblings). I lived with a person for two and a half years who had both bipolar and obsessive compulsive disorder (he is considered on of my best friends ever). I also have a friend with paranoia schizophrenia. Mental illness is nothing new to me and I know how to deal with people with those disorders. That is one reason why I can accept it.

    Also read the quote below as Phoenix 400 hit the nail on the head.

    Quote Originally Posted by Phoenix_400 View Post
    Well, I can kinda see where he's coming from. He did say 'Depending on the situation'. There are a lot of different types of mental illness out there. If you've got someone with an illness that can manifest itself in sudden violent outbursts, that's a legitimate safety concern. What if they fly into a rage and injure you, themselves, or another loved one?

    Example: I had a friend whose ex-wife used to beat herself when she became upset. If he tried to get her to stop, she would turn and attack him. I've also received a few kicks/bites/scratches from trying to subdue her when somebody set her off at a party and she attacked them (Guy refused to defend himself and she would continue the assault when he tried to disengage/leave the party). She also suddenly jumped out of my truck at 20mph after agreeing to leave the party because she decided she wanted to go back and continue trying to kick the person's ass. All it would've taken was for her to grab a knife, gun, bat, etc. and she could've killed/seriously injured someone and not even really meant to do it...or been killed when she jumped out of my truck (broken her neck, got caught under my rear tire, etc.). Then suddenly I'd be facing a police investigation and possible vehicular manslaughter charges for trying to do the right thing on top of the mental/emotional anguish of having someone you know die right in front of you (PTSD is a mother to deal with, speaking from experience). The worst thing is she would blame others for setting her off or not stopping her instead of seeking help for the problem.

    I think the biggest deciding factor on the subject of dating someone with a mental illness is whether or not they're seeking help for the problem. If they're ignoring the problem or not trying to work on it, I'd really rather not deal with it (You can't help someone unless they're willing to help themselves, oftentimes you'll be dragged down by it if you try). If they are seeking help, and depending on how the illness manifests itself, I'd be more likely to stick around and offer them love, support, and encouragement.

  3. #23
    にゃん runvardh's Avatar
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    I'm no pretty picture of mental health either (just look at the inconsistencies in my posts on this board ), but sudden violent outbursts are not fun to deal with unless the person is co-operative in the help end of things. I have people scared when my temper flares up. I haven't done anything in well over a decade, but I don't expect that to be any consolation for someone getting to know me. It sucks, but when something is wrong, it doesn't always affect just the person with the problem.
    Dreams are best served manifest and tangible.

    INFP, 6w7, IEI

    I accept no responsibility, what so ever, for the fact that I exist; I do, however, accept full responsibility for what I do while I exist.

    [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]

  4. #24
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    Quote Originally Posted by Phoenix_400 View Post
    I think the biggest deciding factor on the subject of dating someone with a mental illness is whether or not they're seeking help for the problem. If they're ignoring the problem or not trying to work on it, I'd really rather not deal with it (You can't help someone unless they're willing to help themselves, oftentimes you'll be dragged down by it if you try). If they are seeking help, and depending on how the illness manifests itself, I'd be more likely to stick around and offer them love, support, and encouragement.
    This. Totally this.

  5. #25
    Professional Trickster Esoteric Wench's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Billy View Post
    Must Have:
    pretty face
    attractive body
    Intelligence
    humility
    passion
    compassion
    a respectful nature
    grateful for the small things
    love life
    want a family
    sense of humor
    connect emotionally
    loyalty
    good at sex

    Extra Credit:
    Geek girl / Gamer girl
    Like horror movies (big extra credit)
    into astronomy
    reads a lot / writes
    interested in expanding both mind and soul.

    Deal breaker:
    untrustworthy (cheating, lying, etc)
    domineering/controlling
    obsess on material as the ONLY thing in life.
    judgmental
    careless of other peoples feelings
    obese
    unhygienic
    Yeah, I have to admit that this is sort of a deal breaker for me. I'm in my late 30s. If you haven't figured out how to develop a baseline proficiency in lovemaking by my age... well let me just say that life is too short to spend it with 2 D batteries.

    PS (Competency includes having more than two positions in your repertoire.)


  6. #26
    Professional Trickster Esoteric Wench's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by blomiki View Post
    They're right, ENFP+INFJ is just the ultimate. Find yourself an ENFP, Billy. You won't be sorry.
    Awwww. Sweet.

    I luv me some INFJs!

  7. #27
    Senior Member cafe's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Phoenix_400 View Post
    Well, I can kinda see where he's coming from. He did say 'Depending on the situation'. There are a lot of different types of mental illness out there. If you've got someone with an illness that can manifest itself in sudden violent outbursts, that's a legitimate safety concern. What if they fly into a rage and injure you, themselves, or another loved one?

    Example: I had a friend whose ex-wife used to beat herself when she became upset. If he tried to get her to stop, she would turn and attack him. I've also received a few kicks/bites/scratches from trying to subdue her when somebody set her off at a party and she attacked them (Guy refused to defend himself and she would continue the assault when he tried to disengage/leave the party). She also suddenly jumped out of my truck at 20mph after agreeing to leave the party because she decided she wanted to go back and continue trying to kick the person's ass. All it would've taken was for her to grab a knife, gun, bat, etc. and she could've killed/seriously injured someone and not even really meant to do it...or been killed when she jumped out of my truck (broken her neck, got caught under my rear tire, etc.). Then suddenly I'd be facing a police investigation and possible vehicular manslaughter charges for trying to do the right thing on top of the mental/emotional anguish of having someone you know die right in front of you (PTSD is a mother to deal with, speaking from experience). The worst thing is she would blame others for setting her off or not stopping her instead of seeking help for the problem.

    I think the biggest deciding factor on the subject of dating someone with a mental illness is whether or not they're seeking help for the problem. If they're ignoring the problem or not trying to work on it, I'd really rather not deal with it (You can't help someone unless they're willing to help themselves, oftentimes you'll be dragged down by it if you try). If they are seeking help, and depending on how the illness manifests itself, I'd be more likely to stick around and offer them love, support, and encouragement.
    Uh huh. There is mental illness and there is crazy. Crazy, destructive people (especially if they aren't seeking help) are not good to be in a relationship with.

    A friend of my mom's goes psycho when she gets angry and does things like dump her husband's tool box (it's a big one because he's a contractor) in the middle of the street. The neighbors called the police on them more than once because she was flipping out and and doing crazy stuff. I think they do love each other and they have three kids together, but they keep separating because he can't live with her.

    She's really nice and seems pretty normal when she's not flipped out, so I feel sorry for her, but I would seriously advise anyone I cared about (or just didn't hate) to pass on somebody like that. That's no kind of life.
    “There are two novels that can change a bookish fourteen-year old’s life: The Lord of the Rings and Atlas Shrugged. One is a childish fantasy that often engenders a lifelong obsession with its unbelievable heroes, leading to an emotionally stunted, socially crippled adulthood, unable to deal with the real world. The other, of course, involves orcs.”
    ~ John Rogers

  8. #28
    にゃん runvardh's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Esoteric Wench View Post
    Yeah, I have to admit that this is sort of a deal breaker for me. I'm in my late 30s. If you haven't figured out how to develop a baseline proficiency in lovemaking by my age... well let me just say that life is too short to spend it with 2 D batteries.

    PS (Competency includes having more than two positions in your repertoire.)

    What counts as an individual position? There are so many that are just permutations of a few basic ones.
    Dreams are best served manifest and tangible.

    INFP, 6w7, IEI

    I accept no responsibility, what so ever, for the fact that I exist; I do, however, accept full responsibility for what I do while I exist.

    [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]

  9. #29
    Professional Trickster Esoteric Wench's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by runvardh View Post
    What counts as an individual position? There are so many that are just permutations of a few basic ones.
    Now that's what I love about intuitives. They can see ALL the angles... and I guess I mean that literally.


  10. #30
    Crazy Diamond Billy's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Esoteric Wench View Post
    Yeah, I have to admit that this is sort of a deal breaker for me. I'm in my late 30s. If you haven't figured out how to develop a baseline proficiency in lovemaking by my age... well let me just say that life is too short to spend it with 2 D batteries.

    PS (Competency includes having more than two positions in your repertoire.)

    Totally!

    I never understood some of my friends attraction to virgins... maybe insecurity.
    Ground control to Major Tom

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