User Tag List

First 1234 Last

Results 11 to 20 of 85

  1. #11
    Senior Member Malkavia's Avatar
    Join Date
    Dec 2009
    MBTI
    ENXP
    Enneagram
    3w4
    Posts
    296

    Default

    Thats how I am and from what I can most ENFPs are.

    I think the thing I am wrestling with right now is I am struggling with the fact that I have just one person at that level. I dont want to sound selfish, but I want more than just one person I can open up to. I have tons of surface level friends, however sometimes when i try to go deeper I do not feel that it is reciprocated.

    This obviously goes with my other thread talking about constantly being the one to push a relationship. They have both been on my mind lately and Ive had a hard time with them both.

  2. #12
    Professional Trickster Esoteric Wench's Avatar
    Join Date
    Dec 2009
    MBTI
    ENFP
    Enneagram
    7w8
    Posts
    949

    Default

    I know the loneliness you're feeling Malkavia. I decided a long time ago to try to be pro-active on finding more such people. I used a two pronged approach.

    #1 - I tried to seek out people who shared my special values. These are mostly but not always other NFs. I learned how to type people on the fly. Then I started becoming better at recognizing such people more quickly. Once I flagged them as an 'inner circle friend candidate', I (in a low key manner) consciously worked at becoming better friends with these people. To befriend people in such a manner seemed a little disconcerting to me at first. It smacked of Machiavellianism which on one level I found distasteful. But I found being lonely more distasteful. I stuck with it and now I have a GREAT set of friend. (Who are mostly NFs, btw.)

    #2 - I used MBTI to recognize and appreciate different types of friendships. For example, I have an ESFP friend who cares about me, but she doesn't have deep meaningful connections with people. She communicates love through her actions and not in the NF heartfelt declarations I am used to. Even though there was a bit of a learning curve for me, I was able to appreciate, as I matured in my understanding of MBTI, her friendship for what it is... very sincere, but a different way of communicating her feelings. By using MBTI to help me figure out the value systems of non-NFs, I do not feel disappointed with my ESFP that she doesn't call me up for long heart-to-heart discussions. I don't even try to get deep, meaningful emotional connections from my ESFP friend. Instead, I get this part of me fulfilled by the INFPs and INFJs in my life.

    Good luck to you and keep me posted on how it goes.

  3. #13
    Senior Member Rebe's Avatar
    Join Date
    Nov 2009
    MBTI
    INFP
    Enneagram
    4sop
    Socionics
    IEE
    Posts
    1,505

    Default

    #2 - I used MBTI to recognize and appreciate different types of friendships. For example, I have an ESFP friend who cares about me, but she doesn't have deep meaningful connections with people. She communicates love through her actions and not in the NF heartfelt declarations I am used to. Even though there was a bit of a learning curve for me, I was able to appreciate, as I matured in my understanding of MBTI, her friendship for what it is... very sincere, but a different way of communicating her feelings. By using MBTI to help me figure out the value systems of non-NFs, I do not feel disappointed with my ESFP that she doesn't call me up for long heart-to-heart discussions. I don't even try to get deep, meaningful emotional connections from my ESFP friend. Instead, I get this part of me fulfilled by the INFPs and INFJs in my life.
    I misunderstood and undervalued my ESFP friend because of this. I didn't realize it until now.

  4. #14
    mrs disregard's Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2007
    MBTI
    INFP
    Posts
    7,855

    Default

    1 close friend, a good amount of friends

    I'm the type to have that one person that I'm closest to and then just have a bunch of amigos.

    My baby all I need when it comes to true friends.

  5. #15
    Professional Trickster Esoteric Wench's Avatar
    Join Date
    Dec 2009
    MBTI
    ENFP
    Enneagram
    7w8
    Posts
    949

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by disregard View Post
    1 close friend, a good amount of friends. I'm the type to have that one person that I'm closest to and then just have a bunch of amigos. My baby all I need when it comes to true friends.
    But if baby gets hit by a bus, you're gonna be screwed. Seems to me we all need a support network with a varied group of friends. Don't put your eggs all in once basket is the cliche that comes to mind.

  6. #16
    mrs disregard's Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2007
    MBTI
    INFP
    Posts
    7,855

    Default

    You are assuming I need him.

    I was fine before him.

  7. #17
    Professional Trickster Esoteric Wench's Avatar
    Join Date
    Dec 2009
    MBTI
    ENFP
    Enneagram
    7w8
    Posts
    949

    Default

    So disregard, are you saying you don't need friends? This puzzles me, especially when I see you're an INFP... a type not known for being overly separatist.

    Don't we all need friends whether introverted or extraverted. Whether strong or weak. Whether young or old. Human beings are social creatures and we need each other.

  8. #18
    mrs disregard's Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2007
    MBTI
    INFP
    Posts
    7,855

    Default

    I've had a few close friends, but most of my life has been spent in solitude. I'm not exaggerating. So, I know from experience I don't need friends, but my life is much better with them (or him).

  9. #19
    mrs disregard's Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2007
    MBTI
    INFP
    Posts
    7,855

    Default

    And you're seeing me as an INFP. Don't be blinded by type theory. It's not real.

  10. #20
    mrs disregard's Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2007
    MBTI
    INFP
    Posts
    7,855

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Esoteric Wench View Post
    So disregard, are you saying you don't need friends? This puzzles me, especially when I see you're an INFP... a type not known for being overly separatist.

    Don't we all need friends whether introverted or extraverted. Whether strong or weak. Whether young or old. Human beings are social creatures and we need each other.
    And I never said I didn't socialise. I socialise a lot at work. I just don't have their phone numbers or hang out with them in my own time.

Similar Threads

  1. Replies: 37
    Last Post: 11-06-2013, 01:23 PM
  2. Close friend
    By Halfjillhalfjack in forum What's my Type?
    Replies: 13
    Last Post: 05-12-2010, 02:10 PM
  3. [ISTP] ISTPs, close friends and need for space
    By Rachelinpa in forum The SP Arthouse (ESFP, ISFP, ESTP, ISTP)
    Replies: 14
    Last Post: 10-08-2009, 09:34 PM
  4. [ISFP] need advice: how to be a better friend to a ISFP boy
    By Peace in forum The SP Arthouse (ESFP, ISFP, ESTP, ISTP)
    Replies: 5
    Last Post: 07-06-2009, 12:11 AM

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts