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[NF] What do NFs think of INTJs?

Scott N Denver

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It really depends on the person for me. The INTJs I've met seem to fall into two categories. I'm not saying there are only two kinds of INTJ of course, people are complex creatures who come in all types. That said, I haven't met many INTJs, so this is what I've learned from very limited experience.

There are -

The arrogant, elitest INTJs who think they're just way smarter than everyone else. They may even be partially right; they are often extremely competent people who are highly intelligent. However, when they act in the arrogant manner, they're a chore to be around, so while I usually respect these people, I have a tendency to avoid them.

. Depending on the INTJ I have problems with their sometimes rigid world view which makes an otherwise very intelligent person seem pretty dumb.

Like any other TJ I'm wary of their effects in other people's lives and try to be always there to prevent them from hurting/harming others unnecessarily.

I've noticed the same thing. I guess the INTJs I've known are either (1) arrogant *ssholes who know they are right and aren't afraid to point out the error in your logic, or (2) incredible complex, great thinkers with subtle creativity and a hell of a lot of humility.

The second kind are wonderful, intellectually challenging, very adorable in my book. The first kind... well ugh! It becomes my personal mission to knock them down a peg, but I never seem to be able to penetrate their armor because they dismiss me out of hand because I'm <Insert pat arrogant INTJ reason here.>

I've met LOTS of NTJ's, and in general I have a very dim or negative view of many of them.
 
G

Glycerine

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They seem to fit into two categories to me. 1) nice, generally intelligent, insightful. 2) Arrogant elitist pricks who USUALLY are overconfident in their intelligence, However, i have met mostly the former of INTJs. :) I have a generally positive view of them.
 

SillySapienne

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Gee, I wonder why Lex Talionis wants to know... ;)
 

CzeCze

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The few suspected/confirmed INTJs that I've met, I've liked them just fine. One XNTJ friend my other friends call "extremely awkward". I think that's harsh, she's not awkward, she just has no Fe and doesn't care to make conversation and do expected things for the sake of doing them...like make small talk. I think working for an ENTJ I could bristle but in a social context we get along fine. One ENTJ (alpha) female friend of ours commented she likes me because she likes "assertive people" and she is always criticizing/correcting an INTP acquaintance of ours. The INTP finds her "terrifying" LOL.

For me, I think an INTJs level-headedness, directness, and lack of emo is very refreshing. It's...honest?
 

Scott N Denver

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For me, I think an INTJs level-headedness, directness, and lack of emo is very refreshing. It's...honest?

Apparently *someone* has never had the *privilege* of having NTj's tell you that your emotions are stupid, having emotions is stupid, being emotional is stupid, expecting emotionla validation form others is stupid and delusional, your an idiot, your ideas are idiotic, your ideals are delusional hogwash, that your a wimp, that you should quit crying/being a wimp and toughen the fuck up, that you should quit caring, that you should giving a damn about other people, that you should quit giving a damn what other people think, that most people are stupid, that all other people are stupid,....

Not all of those were said to me, but all of them are things I've heard NTJ's directly say to others

"I can't believe how fucking idiotic other people are" is a statement I have heard many times from various NTJ's, and while it does have some validity [nobody is highly skilled at everything afterall], it seems extremely unfair IMO. It makes me want to yell in their face "I can't believe how much of a fucking emotional-idiot you are!", but alas, I refrain from saying that :D
 

Scott N Denver

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Why is that?

I think that the posts I quoted from, including the below, speak quite well for themselves

They seem to fit into two categories to me. 1) nice, generally intelligent, insightful. 2) Arrogant elitist pricks who USUALLY are overconfident in their intelligence, However, i have met mostly the former of INTJs. :) I have a generally positive view of them.
 

Robopop

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They seem to fit into two categories to me. 1) nice, generally intelligent, insightful. 2) Arrogant elitist pricks who USUALLY are overconfident in their intelligence, However, i have met mostly the former of INTJs. :) I have a generally positive view of them.

Gee, I wonder what group Lex is in? :huh:
 

Thalassa

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For me, I think an INTJs level-headedness, directness, and lack of emo is very refreshing. It's...honest?

It's not only refreshing, it's enviable. How wonderful to have such a magnificent and highly refined sense of self-control. I haven't been close to many INTJs, but I do know that their coolness can DEFINITELY be a bit hurtful, and somehow I still respect them.

Their harshness in debate on message boards doesn't bother me, I think, because it's so level and direct, and often cut with wit and dry humor. It lacks the overt manipulative agenda that irks me so in those darling, darling ENTPs :rolleyes2:.

Theoretically -and in fiction - I tend to idealize their personality type. If I could pick a person to be in charge, it would be an intelligent, balanced NTJ. From what I've observed they don't seem nearly as "evil" and actually are much less robotic than stereotypes paint them.
 
H

Hate

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Mere curiosity.

Do you hate us? Adore us? Anything in between?

I respect them.

The thing I’ve noticed most about my relationship with my INTJ friends IRL is that we have a mutual respect for each other..I have a really good INTJ friend IRL and he helps me out a lot.. Majority of my friends are criminals and my INTJ friend owns a few businesses.. So he will create opportunities for me to work and make extra money so I don’t get sucked back into that lifestyle..He will even create opportunities for me to work when he could’ve done the job for himself.

My INTJ friend likes to do everything for himself… So the fact that he lets me be manager and trusts me to get the work done without micromanaging is a huge compliment.. He will also pay me according to how good of a job he thinks I did even when it comes at the expense of his profits…. I find this to be extremely generous.

I also take it as a huge compliment that my INTJ friend discusses things with me and takes my advice into consideration.. And shockingly enough he has actually applied my advice to his life before…The thing that I love most about my INTJ friend is that he is extremely honest, upfront, and even generous.. He might be a workaholic, but he says he can’t help it.. The last time he gave me a bonus… He said something about himself which I found hilarious… About himself he said, “I’m an awesome boss, f*uck yeah I am.”
 

CzeCze

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Apparently *someone* has never had the *privilege* of having NTj's tell you that your emotions are stupid, having emotions is stupid, being emotional is stupid, expecting emotionla validation form others is stupid and delusional, your an idiot, your ideas are idiotic, your ideals are delusional hogwash, that your a wimp, that you should quit crying/being a wimp and toughen the fuck up, that you should quit caring, that you should giving a damn about other people, that you should quit giving a damn what other people think, that most people are stupid, that all other people are stupid,....

Not all of those were said to me, but all of them are things I've heard NTJ's directly say to others

"I can't believe how fucking idiotic other people are" is a statement I have heard many times from various NTJ's, and while it does have some validity [nobody is highly skilled at everything afterall], it seems extremely unfair IMO. It makes me want to yell in their face "I can't believe how much of a fucking emotional-idiot you are!", but alas, I refrain from saying that :D

LOL if that someone was me, than no.

I totally forgot that one of my friends who moved away is an INTJ female.

I think with many NT types, they have to respect your base intelligence before you get their non "so-and-so is a fucking idiotic" side lol.

XNTJs that I've observed IRL simply do not care if you know they think something is wack or dislike something or someone.

However, unlike ENTPs that I have seen on this board, INTJs I know IRL don't seem to go on about it or try to belittle people for an ego stroke. They just state it.

If they don't like you, you know it, but they don't provoke you or go after you (again that is much more an ENTP trait I have noticed, again, just on this forum) In general. That's what I've observed.

The whole 'that's just the way it is' vibe is much easier for me to handle and I can take it or leave it. It vibes better with my personality than someone who is always trolling people and likes to poke at people for amusement.

Your description of INTJs makes them seem very trollish and hostile, trollish behavior in general is no fun :alttongue: but again, I haven't observed this IRL from INTJs.
 

OrangeAppled

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I don't find INTJs all that charming...but I don't dislike them either. They are just....there.

I've dated approx 3 INTJs, and one was the longest I've ever seen anyone. There was some strange curiosity that kept me seeing him longer than I usually date someone. However, I came to find him as dull and self-absorbed as the other INTJs. His social skills were a bit better though, as far as attempting to make conversation (even if it involved 40 minute soliloquies on anime). Maybe he was interesting deep down, but he made little attempt to engage me & actually get to know me. The self-absorption explains why some belittle others so much - I don't believe those INTJs really know people deeply, but they think they do by assuming they are all the same. You can't make that mistake with an INFP :nono:

My basic negative impression of INTJs is dull, dull, dull, self-absorbed, uber geeky, dull, boring, condescending, dull, and a bit arrogant (not the most arrogant of the NTs though).

My basic positive impression is they tend to be book smart, independent, strange (that's a plus in my book), and to have interests outside of the usual mundane crap people like. They can be very funny too, as long as they don't get too mean-spirited. I find them waaaay less argumentative than other NTs, but then I wonder if they dismiss more internally (is it just less curiosity of other people's perspectives?).

My younger cousin is an INTJ, and I feel more sympathetic towards him since he gets a lot of flak from family. He's a smart kid, but he knows it, which makes it unimpressive to everyone (including me - and since everyone in our family is rather book smart, no one really puts up with arrogant intellectual BS). He comes off as rude and cold, and shows almost no personality (has the robot thing going on). As an INXX who has dealt with SF negative reaction to me as a teen, I feel sorry for him, because they plain don't like him and call him "that creep" behind his back. I don't think he is a creep, but the kid is NOT very pleasant. It doesn't help that his INFJ mom thinks he is the answer to the world & feeds his ego... and now I'm on a tangent...

Their harshness in debate on message boards doesn't bother me, I think, because it's so level and direct, and often cut with wit and dry humor. It lacks the overt manipulative agenda that irks me so in those darling, darling ENTPs :rolleyes2:.

I will give them that - they seem less manipulative than NTPs, and from my experience, are less manipulative. There's a directness that can be refreshing.
 

woolgatherer

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Apparently *someone* has never had the *privilege* of having NTj's tell you that your emotions are stupid, having emotions is stupid, being emotional is stupid, expecting emotionla validation form others is stupid and delusional, your an idiot, your ideas are idiotic, your ideals are delusional hogwash, that your a wimp, that you should quit crying/being a wimp and toughen the fuck up, that you should quit caring, that you should giving a damn about other people, that you should quit giving a damn what other people think, that most people are stupid, that all other people are stupid,....

Yes, god, my dad is an INTJ and he says things like that to me about myself and about other people pretty often. He's really quite abrasive, insensitive, unsupportive, and at times controlling... not to mention extremely fussy/picky over the smallest things like how you phrase a question, or that you even asked such a stupid question in the first place. He acts like everything is a given, and that he is right even when he seems to be just guessing. I feel nervous doing the most mundane things around him because he's likely to point out how I'm cutting a loaf of bread wrong or whatever else. I find that a lot of casual conversations turn into a drawn out irritating argument. He also has a temper.

His good qualities are that he's intelligent and likes to learn, he knows about a lot of things, he's liberal minded, and occasionally he will listen to you when you're arguing a point and admit that you could be right. But if he weren't my father I wouldn't want to know him at all. He is probably more of a negative version of an INTJ though, and I'm not sure if I've known any others. Maybe they're not all so bad, but I'm finding I tend to associate with other Ps.
 

sculpting

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Apparently *someone* has never had the *privilege* of having NTj's tell you that your emotions are stupid, having emotions is stupid, being emotional is stupid, expecting emotionla validation form others is stupid and delusional, your an idiot, your ideas are idiotic, your ideals are delusional hogwash, that your a wimp, that you should quit crying/being a wimp and toughen the fuck up, that you should quit caring, that you should giving a damn about other people, that you should quit giving a damn what other people think, that most people are stupid, that all other people are stupid,....

Not all of those were said to me, but all of them are things I've heard NTJ's directly say to others

"I can't believe how fucking idiotic other people are" is a statement I have heard many times from various NTJ's, and while it does have some validity [nobody is highly skilled at everything afterall], it seems extremely unfair IMO. It makes me want to yell in their face "I can't believe how much of a fucking emotional-idiot you are!", but alas, I refrain from saying that :D

Scott how old were these folks? The youngest INTJ I have known was about 24-and he was silent-we butted heads, he was wrong, then we mutually respected each other. The rest were older but none of them were in your face/rude to this extent you mention above. I have no doubt they think these things-but they dont tend to voice them out loud. Even when very close to me, they seemed forgiving of others having emotions?

Maybe part of the reason enfps can get along with these guys a bit better than INFPs...is well..sometimes I find myself thinking stuff like the above too...Never to the level of hostility in your quote..but kinda the same vein...I understand it isnt very nice, but under great amounts of stress I will shut off emotions, and push for task completion. I dont do this to INFPs-more some of the ISFJs I work with as they will place group harmony over finishing tasks.

those guys above sound really brutal though...you have said they were nasty in the past. Did they share these displays often?
 

musicnerd93

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I don't really know too many INTJ's, so I couldn't tell ya! Sorry.
 
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