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[INFJ] INFJ needing help

Mr Snuggles

New member
Joined
Jun 2, 2010
Messages
5
MBTI Type
INFJ
Hey I've taken multiple tests and I'm definitely INFJ. Looking at various posts on this forum I've noticed that people talk about the "unhealthy INFJ" and I seem to fall right into this category.

I don't have many friends because I find it hard to be outgoing and confident that others will like me. I generally worry that they will not like how I act, what I say, my opinions on things and my general personality. I worry that I'll end up being "that guy" that everyone finds annoying. I'm also not very good at banter, because of my low self-esteem I take any banter as thinly veiled criticism as I belief there has to be a reason why they just joked that I am lets say unfriendly or they wouldn't have said it. I start to think maybe thats why people don't like me and close my self off more.

The friends I have are close friends that I've had for a fairly long time. I find it hard to open up to new friends because I feel almost out of practice of making friends.

The thing is I want more friends and I like socialising but I can't open myself up enough and stop worrying about what others think about me to do it.
 

Starry

Active member
Joined
May 22, 2010
Messages
6,103
Hey I've taken multiple tests and I'm definitely INFJ. Looking at various posts on this forum I've noticed that people talk about the "unhealthy INFJ" and I seem to fall right into this category.

I don't have many friends because I find it hard to be outgoing and confident that others will like me. I generally worry that they will not like how I act, what I say, my opinions on things and my general personality. I worry that I'll end up being "that guy" that everyone finds annoying. I'm also not very good at banter, because of my low self-esteem I take any banter as thinly veiled criticism as I belief there has to be a reason why they just joked that I am lets say unfriendly or they wouldn't have said it. I start to think maybe thats why people don't like me and close my self off more.

The friends I have are close friends that I've had for a fairly long time. I find it hard to open up to new friends because I feel almost out of practice of making friends.

The thing is I want more friends and I like socialising but I can't open myself up enough and stop worrying about what others think about me to do it.

No one is going to reject 'Mr Snuggles'...or they will have me to contend with! Okay that was weird that I wrote that. It is always dangerous for me to post when I haven't had enough coffee.

You sound so much like an INFJ friend of mine. And it it breaks my heart because he has so much to offer other people.

Many times I come here to read in the morning when I just woke up. I am going to shake the cob-webs from my head and come back to to write more. But I wanted you to know immediately that I understand and that I am here and that I know you can and will overcome this. It is obvious you will in my mind's eye. I will 'talk' to you soon.
 

spin-1/2-nuclei

New member
Joined
May 2, 2010
Messages
381
MBTI Type
INTJ
The friends I have are close friends that I've had for a fairly long time. I find it hard to open up to new friends because I feel almost out of practice of making friends.

The thing is I want more friends and I like socialising but I can't open myself up enough and stop worrying about what others think about me to do it.

I can relate to part of this. I've had the same small group of friends my entire life. I don't typically socialize outside of that group unless it's just casual. I don't know you so any advice I give will be superficial at best.... but personally I try not to worry too much what other people are going to think of me. Especially being that I am lucky to have a loyal group of great friends that already know who I am.. for me that takes the pressure off when I am forced to socialize outside of my circle...

I don't really feel like I have to tailor myself to fit what anyone else might think of me. My advice is to go out there and be yourself and stop worrying if people will like you for it. You'll have to try to lighten up a bit, you can't punish other people for whatever shortcomings you've perceived in yourself. Some people like to joke around and things, if you don't like that just ask them to give you a break and explain why... if they're not assholes they should be willing to back off, and maybe once you get to know them and they get to know you better the joking won't bother you so much. Again, I don't know you, but my guess is you're probably being too hard on yourself.

good luck. :)

Edit: by the way cool name! I have a teddy bear that my older brother gave me when I was like 5 called Snuggles. It actually looks exactly like the bear in the fabric softner commercials which makes it even funnier.
 

Mr Snuggles

New member
Joined
Jun 2, 2010
Messages
5
MBTI Type
INFJ
No one is going to reject 'Mr Snuggles'...or they will have me to contend with! Okay that was weird that I wrote that. It is always dangerous for me to post when I haven't had enough coffee.

You sound so much like an INFJ friend of mine. And it it breaks my heart because he has so much to offer other people.

Many times I come here to read in the morning when I just woke up. I am going to shake the cob-webs from my head and come back to to write more. But I wanted you to know immediately that I understand and that I am here and that I know you can and will overcome this. It is obvious you will in my mind's eye. I will 'talk' to you soon.

I'm looking forward to talking to you!

I can relate to part of this. I've had the same small group of friends my entire life. I don't typically socialize outside of that group unless it's just casual. I don't know you so any advice I give will be superficial at best.... but personally I try not to worry too much what other people are going to think of me. Especially being that I am lucky to have a loyal group of great friends that already know who I am.. for me that takes the pressure off when I am forced to socialize outside of my circle...

I don't really feel like I have to tailor myself to fit what anyone else might think of me. My advice is to go out there and be yourself and stop worrying if people will like you for it. You'll have to try to lighten up a bit, you can't punish other people for whatever shortcomings you've perceived in yourself. Some people like to joke around and things, if you don't like that just ask them to give you a break and explain why... if they're not assholes they should be willing to back off, and maybe once you get to know them and they get to know you better the joking won't bother you so much. Again, I don't know you, but my guess is you're probably being too hard on yourself.

good luck. :)

Edit: by the way cool name! I have a teddy bear that my older brother gave me when I was like 5 called Snuggles. It actually looks exactly like the bear in the fabric softner commercials which makes it even funnier.

Thanks for the advice and thanks for the compliment on the name! I find it hard to get over not worrying about what people thing and I have been trying for a while now. I think I'm getting better.

A problem I suffer (that I admittedly didn't make clear in first post) is that while I'm happy with my circle of friends, these friends all have other friends whereas I don't and they've started to notice that I lack the social skills most people have. They joke that I'm autistic (I happen to be good at maths) when I'm really not, I'm just shy.

I don't dislike social situations, I just feel very nervous because I believe that the person I'm talking to won't like me for what I'm saying, or might find me annoying and even if they are acting nice during the conversation they might just be being polite when actually they hate talking to me.
 

Vasilisa

Symbolic Herald
Joined
Feb 2, 2010
Messages
3,946
Instinctual Variant
so/sx
Hi Mr Snuggles. I applaud you on your courage to open up and post this. I relate to what you said about wanting to meet and interact with new people but finding it hard to get yourself out there. I'm sorry you face so much anxiety about it. It is interesting for me to consider myself in your shoes for a minute. Growing up my family relocated frequently and that forced me to be with new people in unfamiliar situations. Felt like I was always a stranger and my peers were always strangers to me. It was not easy, but there is something to be said for getting through that. The experience builds and it becomes a kind of body of work.

Have you ever heard of therapists who treat people with anxiety disorders by exposing them to what causes the anxiety? Its supposed to take them to the source of their anxiety and make them sit with that anxiety and realize it isn't as catastrophic as they feared. Supposedly the anxiety lessens with the exposures.

What I'm getting at is I wonder if you required yourself to step out of your comfort zone to interact with people, you might slowly start to realize that you can engage in witty repartee with new people, you can open yourself up and not be attacked or shunned, and you are someone people would like to become friends with. I'm not saying you ought to go to a massive summer festival and act like someone you are not to find new buddies. I just wonder if maybe in low key ways (and maybe with your dear friends help, too) you could get to conversing with new people without your fears overcoming you and making you shut down or flee. To do this, you may have to open up to your friends (I know its hard to do) and explain you are naturally shy and its part of your innate nature, but its starting to make you feel anxiety. If you told them what you are struggling with sincerely, I would hope they would stop the teasing and want to help you. What do you think? I feel for you and I just don't know of any easy shortcut way to becoming socially confident. :hug:
 

Thalassa

Permabanned
Joined
May 3, 2009
Messages
25,183
MBTI Type
ISFP
Enneagram
6w7
Instinctual Variant
sx
I love that your name is Mr.Snuggles.
 

CuriousFeeling

From the Undertow
Joined
Dec 18, 2009
Messages
2,937
MBTI Type
INfJ
Enneagram
4w5
Instinctual Variant
sp/sx
As an INFJ that went through the "people probably don't like me" negative self-talk throughout school, I feel compelled to give you some advice that I found helpful for me:

Worrying about what people think of you will only cause more negative self-talk. Negative self talk usually arises from two factors: high sensitivity and low self-esteem. If anything, boosting your self-esteem will help you to manage sensitivity with others. Think about positive traits that you have that you think that others will like. Let these positive qualities come out little by little.

Don't let that negative self-talk get the best of you.

"No matter what you have to learn to live with who you are."
 

whatusername

New member
Joined
Aug 3, 2009
Messages
270
MBTI Type
INFJ
Enneagram
4
What I'm getting at is I wonder if you required yourself to step out of your comfort zone to interact with people, you might slowly start to realize that you can engage in witty repartee with new people, you can open yourself up and not be attacked or shunned, and you are someone people would like to become friends with. I'm not saying you ought to go to a massive summer festival and act like someone you are not to find new buddies.

I totally agree. Sometimes, if you make something a requirement, or (I hate to say this) a chore, then you're almost psyching yourself up to do it. When I was younger, I used to dare myself to make friends. That's how I found my friends.

The fact that you had the courage to post this tells me you can do it. I know you have a genuine interest in people (INFJs, what can we do? Hehe.) so at one point, you're gonna get there.

As for the nagging thought/fear that people may not like you, all I can say is that only you can comfort yourself in the knowledge that, in meeting people, you will be nothing but yourself, entirely. What they choose to do with that is up to them. :)
 

Starry

Active member
Joined
May 22, 2010
Messages
6,103
I don't have many friends because I find it hard to be outgoing and confident that others will like me. I generally worry that they will not like how I act, what I say, my opinions on things and my general personality.

The thing is I want more friends and I like socialising but I can't open myself up enough and stop worrying about what others think about me to do it.

Okay…I’ve had enough coffee. Now I’m ready to respond.‎


Oh Mr. Snuggles - I am so sorry it took me such a long to get back to you. My life has been a bit ‎overwhelming lately and I had no idea, at the time of my original response to you, that the last ‎few days would end up being so hectic. Again, forgive me. I hope you are still around to see ‎that I did in fact return. You came across like such a special person to me in your writing. Like I ‎said, soon you may have more friends than you will know what to do with!‎

It seems like several individuals have provided you some wonderful advice already.‎

Let me share with you a little of the ‘Extravert wisdom’ though… ‎

I have never, ever, ever met another person, that when pressed, doesn’t admit to some feelings of ‎inadequacy in social situations. And it can be any number of things that has them concerned. ‎Believing they are too good looking or not good looking enough. Too smart, too stupid, too rich, ‎too poor…and so on. People just want to be liked, appreciated, accepted…‎

So how do you make friends? Demonstrate to someone that you like, appreciate and accept ‎them. Seriously, you do have to have clever conversation and/or witty things to say. This I ‎promise you. All you need to do in a social situation when interacting with a new-person-soon-‎to-be-friend is:‎
‎1.) Listen with interest (people love to talk about themselves if they feel you are interested). 2.) ‎Smile 3.) Ask questions (this keeps the conversation going/you learn about the person/and ‎demonstrates interest) and 4.) Give sincere compliments (like – ‘That is amazing that you did ‎that!’ or ‘You seem like such an adventurous person!’)‎

If the other person asks you a question and you are still feeling shy or are not ready to open up it is ‎okay to say something like ‘I’ve never done anything like that before’…and then quickly ask ‎them another question about their experience. If you are leaving a social situation and want to ‎contact the person again you can say…’I know I’m going to have more questions about such-‎and-such…what’s your email?’‎

What I’m trying to get at here is that you don’t really HAVE to do anything in the beginning ‎other than the things I outlined above. If you are able to make someone feel truly ‎appreciated…you will have a friend for life – if YOU want them and if YOU feel they are ‎worthy of your friendship. As the friendship evolves…you can begin to open up and share ‎things about yourself when you are feeling more comfortable/less shy.‎

You don’t have to focus on yourself so much. Especially if you remember that everyone is ‎feeling the same nervousness – some may just be better at disguising that fact.‎

I also wanted to say that it is a good thing to be concerned about what other people think. But ‎you can’t think for them. Let them tell you what they think and feel. You just keep asking the ‎questions until such a time you feel comfortable enough to do some more talking.‎
 

Esoteric Wench

Professional Trickster
Joined
Dec 20, 2009
Messages
945
MBTI Type
ENFP
Enneagram
7w8
Hey I've taken multiple tests and I'm definitely INFJ. Looking at various posts on this forum I've noticed that people talk about the "unhealthy INFJ" and I seem to fall right into this category.

I don't have many friends because I find it hard to be outgoing and confident that others will like me. I generally worry that they will not like how I act, what I say, my opinions on things and my general personality. I worry that I'll end up being "that guy" that everyone finds annoying. I'm also not very good at banter, because of my low self-esteem I take any banter as thinly veiled criticism as I belief there has to be a reason why they just joked that I am lets say unfriendly or they wouldn't have said it. I start to think maybe thats why people don't like me and close my self off more.

The friends I have are close friends that I've had for a fairly long time. I find it hard to open up to new friends because I feel almost out of practice of making friends.

The thing is I want more friends and I like socialising but I can't open myself up enough and stop worrying about what others think about me to do it.

Hi Mr. Snuggles. (I love your name. Very evocative.) You're among friends here. I've made so many friends on this forum so this is a great start to pursuing your stated goal of making new friends.

Sometimes I have feel like it's hard for me to make friends, too. That may sound strange because ENFPs can engage inanimate objects in conversation, but just because I talk to someone doesn't mean I let them in my inner circle. It doesn't mean that I open up my heart to them. Also, one of the things that INFJs and ENFPs have in common is dominant Intuition... which can make us feel different than the statistical mainstream. So we have these things in common.

So you are NOT alone! I'm looking forward to getting to know you better as you become involved in this forum. :hug:
 

tommyc

Member
Joined
Jul 31, 2010
Messages
228
MBTI Type
INFJ
Enneagram
4w5
i find it interesting you (mr snuggles) are an infj who feels a deep need to socialise and have more friends. Im the same type but im relatively happy with virtually no friends. i suppose we are in different places in life.

I feel there's little point telling you to 'just relax' or 'try to stop worrying', because from personal experience, it is best just to let yourself worry and be stressed if thats what your body wants to do. it is better to try to figure out the exact reasons for stress and try to combat them.

ive gone off point a bit. I guess my point is i feel like you (mr snuggles) may be going through a difficult stage, but i'm sure your relationships with people will improve given time. You will have ups and downs of self esteem, but just remember when you're languishing in a down, an up is right around the corner.
 

La de Longe

New member
Joined
Feb 24, 2009
Messages
26
MBTI Type
infj
Hey Mr. Snuggles, I'm rather new to this forum too, but it seems like self-loathing is an INFJ rite of passage. Yes, I've completely been there, have known others (of various types) who have been there, and it does seem to get better over time. What's interesting about feeling alone is that you always feel alone in being alone even soooooooo(etc.) many more people than you'd expect have had similar experiences. One thing that I, personally, had to realize was how much I projected my own negative opinions about myself onto others and used that as justification for why people don't seem to like me and why I should withdrawal even further from them. I know that cycle and it sucks. I think that a problem with INFJs is that we're too honest with ourselves. We know where we excel and where we fall short and assume that others can't look past our faults, because we, ourselves, can't see past them. For me, a big thing that I've had to learn is self-acceptance. The less I judge myself, the less I assume others judge me and the more I open can be. Maybe it's not as objective, but does make for a happier life.
 

LadyJaye

Scream down the boulevard
Joined
Nov 6, 2007
Messages
2,062
MBTI Type
ENFP
Enneagram
7w6
Instinctual Variant
so/sx
Hey I've taken multiple tests and I'm definitely INFJ. Looking at various posts on this forum I've noticed that people talk about the "unhealthy INFJ" and I seem to fall right into this category.

I don't have many friends because I find it hard to be outgoing and confident that others will like me. I generally worry that they will not like how I act, what I say, my opinions on things and my general personality. I worry that I'll end up being "that guy" that everyone finds annoying. I'm also not very good at banter, because of my low self-esteem I take any banter as thinly veiled criticism as I belief there has to be a reason why they just joked that I am lets say unfriendly or they wouldn't have said it. I start to think maybe thats why people don't like me and close my self off more.

The friends I have are close friends that I've had for a fairly long time. I find it hard to open up to new friends because I feel almost out of practice of making friends.

The thing is I want more friends and I like socialising but I can't open myself up enough and stop worrying about what others think about me to do it.

Don't worry, sweetheart. It sounds overly simplistic, but it is true : Kindred spirits will always find each other. The biggest challenge for you is to assert your personality on the outside world, doing things that you love to do - when you get the courage to put yourself out there a little, someone will see you and know exactly what you're all about. At least as long as there are ENFP's out there to enjoy you. :)

And truthfully, you have zero control over what people think about you or how they'll react to you, so tying yourself in knots about it won't accomplish anything. I used to get horribly upset at the idea that ANYONE could dislike or willfully misunderstand me - but at some point, you just gotta let it go. It's a wasted effort, and it brings forth no change in your favor. So work on finding things to like about yourself, being comfortable with your internal world, and dismiss the outside commentary. You'll know what comments warrant your attention, which will come from people you know and trust and respect.
 

mochajava

New member
Joined
Jul 28, 2010
Messages
475
MBTI Type
INFJ
Can anyone direct me to the "unhealthy INFJ" posts the OP, Mr Snuggles (everyone loves the name!!) mentioned? I remember being QUIET, like fully unable to respond in conversations, for a year of college because of this anxiety. I still have it, although my life right now involves way more time in a cubicle alone -- and less "people time" is really helping me. As well as modulating how much people-time I get. That's a challenge unto itself, and there are other threads for that.
 

Gloriana

Patron Saint Of Smileys
Joined
Aug 2, 2009
Messages
949
MBTI Type
INFJ
Enneagram
6w5
Hey I've taken multiple tests and I'm definitely INFJ. Looking at various posts on this forum I've noticed that people talk about the "unhealthy INFJ" and I seem to fall right into this category.

I don't have many friends because I find it hard to be outgoing and confident that others will like me. I generally worry that they will not like how I act, what I say, my opinions on things and my general personality. I worry that I'll end up being "that guy" that everyone finds annoying. I'm also not very good at banter, because of my low self-esteem I take any banter as thinly veiled criticism as I belief there has to be a reason why they just joked that I am lets say unfriendly or they wouldn't have said it. I start to think maybe thats why people don't like me and close my self off more.

The friends I have are close friends that I've had for a fairly long time. I find it hard to open up to new friends because I feel almost out of practice of making friends.

The thing is I want more friends and I like socialising but I can't open myself up enough and stop worrying about what others think about me to do it.

I very much relate to this too. Very much!

I'm 32 now, and I think I've pretty much been on a seesaw my whole life in terms of friends and making friends. I'll have a few close friends, then I guess pressure will build that I don't have 'enough' of a social life and I start questioning where I'm at. In my personal situation, I've also had a bad habit of attracting 'friends' that were not truly very good friends at all (I felt 'close' to them but realized it was always me understanding THEM rather than any of them bothering to understand or even remember anything about me, etc).

So then I'll go through these extremely 'socially active' periods that can be both exhilarating and emotionally exhausting. I'll enjoy meeting lots of new people and exposing myself to all this new stimulation for awhile, but I get that thing I think a lot of INFJs understand where it feels like my resource meter is draining down to zero. Then I'll go into a period of withdrawal from social stuff and sometimes even get kind of pissed off and petulant about people depending on what I've just experienced, haha.

I've changed a lot over the years and I'd say I've been learning to balance better, though I don't think I will ever feel the benefits of 'socializing' the way the majority out there seems to. I used to beat myself up for this (like someone else mentioned, the 'self loathing rite of passage') but I've come to realize I'm just different and there's nothing wrong with that.

Think of it this way. Yes, the majority of people out there love being around other people and just BEING around lots of people is enough for them. They get energized even if they don't learn anything new, or come away with anything lasting. There is nothing wrong with that. Still, it doesn't work that way for EVERYONE and there is nothing wrong with that either.

I started to realize, most of the time I felt like such crap about my social life wasn't because I was unhappy with my situation, it was because there were so many others TELLING ME I SHOULD BE. Telling me I was weird and unhealthy. Meanwhile, they didn't seem to care that if I pushed myself too hard in the socializing, I'd feel SICK. I was always told it was because I had social anxiety disorder and had to get over fears.

To a certain extent that was true, but in a lot of ways it was just crap. Wherever there is an overwhelming majority, you're going to find loads of people lining up to tell you why you're abnormal for not adhering to the norms of this majority. That just goes with the territory. I took time out and really tried to see my own preferences and what made me happy WITHOUT factoring in the opinions and pressures of others.

I came to find that yes, I needed to realize I have things to offer in social settings, that I am someone worth talking to, that I have good qualities just like anyone else, and a lot of social success depends on my attitude toward myself rather than how other people react. I basically had to do a lot of work on liking myself. I, too, felt like I was someone people got 'saddled' with in social situations. Thing is, it was like a self-fulfilling prophecy. I thought bad of myself and hence it came out that way in public. I had to forgive myself for this, stop flogging myself to death, and then I had to work on recognizing good things about me (hard, yes, but never impossible :) )

Now, I don't know you personally, but anyone who chooses "Mr Snuggles" as their moniker suggests a little bit of awesome to me. I'm not blowing smoke up your keister either. I get the feeling you might have a lot of generosity, kindness, humor, and so much more inside you but it just hasn't had room to breathe. I might be projecting my own experience, but I get that feeling.

I had to sort of look at myself from the outside and get to like the person I am. This made a huge difference with other people. I've met better friends this way too because the toxic emotional vampires out there seem to KNOW how to pick people who are desperate for attention and validation. They just KNOW. The more confident I've become, the more confident and good natured my friends have become. Basically, me bringing out the best in myself brought out the best in other people.

Not only that, but I've come to accept that I honestly don't need nor want a HUGE social circle and THAT'S OKAY. I've also come to appreciate folks who will never be kindred spirits or soul mates but are fun to hang out with sometimes all the same. I don't focus on what they DON'T have, but what positive things they DO HAVE. So I might see them every few months for bowling night and it's fine.

I've found some good friends who enjoy the same stuff I do and aren't constantly pushing me to be something else. I don't like 'clubbing', I don't like going to bars, I don't like 'partying' for the sake of partying. Not knocking those things, I don't condemn anyone who gets a kick out of it. I just enjoy different things like movie fests with friends, video/board game fests, adventures walking or hiking together, small potluck dinners, stuff like that.

I've found these friends but I've met strings and strings of people who don't like that stuff, and don't take to me either. I have trained myself not to take it so personally because it really isn't. I think we're used to feeling like 'weirdos' or whatever that it almost seems a foregone conclusion something must be wrong with US when someone doesn't take to us. It's not the case though.

There are people I don't take to for a lot of reasons, but it doesn't mean those people are bad, or wrong, or unlovable or any of it (except maybe cruel bullies and such, but that's a different animal). We just don't jive and that's life. It's ok not to jive and it's no one's fault. The more I accepted this and embraced it, the easier it became for me to be around large groups of people.

Also, for me it helped to not have to enter social situations blind. Throw me into a party without a theme or point and I'll sit in the corner all night not knowing what the eff to do. I used to hate myself for it but now I can laugh because I'm just one of those people who suck at going in cold for small talk. I often try opening with a compliment but I usually mess it up. I'm that girl who approaches a guy like:

"Nice T-Shirt! I like that particular blend of cotton because it's softer and doesn't get scratchy! It's awesome fabric, isn't it?"

In my head, that was the PERFECT ice breaker but a lot of times I'd get those "Are you on crack or something?" looks, hahaha. I'm just bad at breaking the ice without knowing ANYTHING about anyone in a room.

I started using Do something, Learn something, Share something, Change something - Meetup.com and this has been amazing for me personally. It takes so much pressure off because these are groups where I know I've got ONE thing in common to start with if I need it, and even though it's only ONE thing, it's such a relief for me personally. Maybe check it out and play around on it. Most groups are free and you can take it at your own pace as to how many or how few meets you go to. This revived my social life in a bit way, and honestly before I found that site I was literally friendless in terms of people in my direct area (my good friends kept in touch often but were spread out around the country/world). It's never impossible :)

I'm going on and on here, suffice it to say I just wanted to chime in with everyone here and say you're not alone. You're not hopeless and you're not 'damaged' or any of that crap. There might be some stuff that needs correcting, but ain't nobody on this planet without some of that.

If you like small social groups and you're content with that, that's okay. If you truly want more people in your life but can't figure out how to get there just yet, there are ways to make this change.

I know sometimes it really does feel like "I'm weird, I suck at life, damn me!!!!". I've been there soooooo many times. It's not true though! Trust me, it's not true!

You're in good company Mr. Snuggles, and I hope you keep posting here! :D
 

Winds of Thor

New member
Joined
Jan 11, 2009
Messages
1,842
MBTI Type
ENTP
Enneagram
3w4
Instinctual Variant
sx/so
I don't have many friends because I find it hard to be outgoing and confident that others will like me. I generally worry that they will not like how I act, what I say, my opinions on things and my general personality.

It is taught in our public schools to like the outgoing, the popular. Well I say that's a bunch of crap. You have some good, caring about you.

And it should be recognized. That's the kind of thing that makes a real good friend, my friend. You're well on a good path. There are plenty of people who will see the good things about you and you don't need worry with it.
 
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