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[INFP] INFP - Do you find yourself, Doubting Yourself?

ComplexMind

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Apr 25, 2010
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I was wondering if it is a common trait for an INFP to doubt him/herself. I feel like I have so much potential but I always find myself rationalizing out of a dream, or an idea. It's always, I'm not extroverted enough, I don't have the tenacity to follow through with it, or I'm just not organized enough or a myriad of things. Do any other INFPs experience this self-deprecating behavior?
 

Arclight

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Nov 5, 2009
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I realize that what I put out into the universe is what I will get back.
I have a tendency to put myself down and doubt myself, but that only makes me self prophetic in the worst kind of way.
You bring to yourself what you project.
Even what seems a gift can be wolf in sheep's clothing.
So think highly of yourself as I am learning to do.
You will attract success.
 

Rebe

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Yes. What I have tried to do with this doubt is tell myself that

i have to stop making excuses. traits can be learned and perfected. no one is born to become competent. you make yourself that way. you go through risks and mistakes, just like everybody else. get out of your head and stop over thinking everything. sometimes you just have to get your hands dirty and do it and see how it goes and what else needs to be done for it to work. establish what you want, what your life is about, what your whole person is about, and outline steps toward it. a lot of the times, because there is so much going on in my head, what i need to do is make a straight-forward list of what's what and focus on what i can do and the idea of 'improvement' and 'progression', not what i can't. :)

the change in attitude won't be overnight, notice that i said 'tried', i am doing MUCH better, but i am still trying, some days are harder than others for me.
 

William K

Uniqueorn
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Aug 13, 2009
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I was wondering if it is a common trait for an INFP to doubt him/herself. I feel like I have so much potential but I always find myself rationalizing out of a dream, or an idea. It's always, I'm not extroverted enough, I don't have the tenacity to follow through with it, or I'm just not organized enough or a myriad of things. Do any other INFPs experience this self-deprecating behavior?

That's the drawback of being an introverted idealist. Your inner world/vision is so grand that reality will rarely jive with it. So you either feel discouraged and angry at reality, or you start blaming yourself for not meeting your goals. The truth is somewhere in the middle. Understanding your limitations is a good step, but at the same time you should not use it as a crutch to say "I cannot do this" or "I will never be successful". Concentrate instead on what you can do, what your gifts are, and start putting them to good use. Don't be discouraged if you don't do a perfect job. Even 51% is better than the average! :D
 

OrangeAppled

Sugar Hiccup
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Mar 20, 2009
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Instinctual Variant
sp/sx
I do it a lot. For awhile I made the conscious effort to replace all negative, self-doubting thoughts with positive ones. It sort of worked.... I took more chances and made some good progress. But then when something doesn't work out, it is easy to slide back into old ways of thinking.
 

BRMC117

is an ambi-turner
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Jan 21, 2010
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781
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only every day. I will think of something and after thinking about it I will find out its flaws and just dismiss it as a failure before it has a chance to become anything. :(
 

ComplexMind

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Apr 25, 2010
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only every day. I will think of something and after thinking about it I will find out its flaws and just dismiss it as a failure before it has a chance to become anything. :(

My process exactly. The only thing that helps me is knowing I have a purpose and also doing those things that I enjoy consistently and learning what comes easiest to me. In those things I feel the most competent. I just persevere through my doubts in order to have progression
 

Darkéy

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Apr 7, 2009
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To quote the eternal Harry Callahan (Magnum Force), "A man's got to know his limitations" but similarly and equally everlasting, "Nothing will come of nothing" (King Lear).

A handful of self-doubt I feel can be a good thing. Sometimes I know I need some of that self criticism to add another person to the discussions going on in my head over a given idea. But you can have too much of a good thing. Sometimes I'm better at it than other times and I'm still learning what makes things tick but I do doubt myself sometimes when perhaps I should be acting on an idea. That being said I know I've done things in the past that at the time I thought to be good ideas. A bit of self doubt there might have landed me in a more profitable situation by holding me back. I guess some kind of balance would be nice. Let me know if you find one... :thinking:
 

niki

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Sep 16, 2007
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exactly my story, as always has been, and still is.

I think it's really exacerbated by our nature to dislike conflict & trying to please everybody, even if that means to NOT say no, and then heed the mainstream society's notions of what's right (or "success") or wrong.
it really often creates a heaviler inner turmoils inside ourselves,
and at the worst point, we become confused, depressed, and feel worthless in this 'practical' world.

But I agree with what some of you said above:
I've learnt that I have so much potentials to offer, that even to give 20% of it is much better than if I didn't do anything.
and that also I thus feel I have some kind of a 'grand purpose' , by living in this often 'too-cold' world, by bringing back more warmth, love, kindness and goodness.
it's what still keeping me going on and keep moving, instead of giving up with my life.

I'm currently also trying to not think too much about things, and just go with the basic (ie: 'progress', or what is in my "locus of control"), just like Rebe said perfectly above.
it's a hard thing to do, as there's often just soooo much going on in my mind, both negatives and positives,..that the worst part is: I ended up NOT DOING anything, or even if I do it, I rarely finish it!

a lot of people around me and even online friends have often felt frustrated with me,
and they're like "Niki, you have so much potentials, especially in music, but why you kept putting off your lives??? what else stopping you??? why you just don't DO things??".

A hard slap of Reality (as I've discussed in my thread here) is eventually what 'woke me up' and starting to take things more seriously,..........and learning & growing, no matter what happens!
 

musicnerd93

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Apr 19, 2010
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A lot. I find that I spend more time dreaming of being a world renowned artist/writer/musician or whatever, more than I do actually sitting and improving my skills. According to my art teacher and my friends, I'm the best artist in the school, but I just don't see it. I think everyone is so much better than me. You know, I think I'm good but I'm not great.

Everyone tells me how much potential I have and that I'll be great in the fine arts field...Though the idea of being an artist appeals to me, I just don't understand why everybody finds me so good and believes in me so much.

So, in brief, yes, I do doubt myself often.
 

stringstheory

THIS bitch
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Jul 12, 2009
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1
Ugh. All. The. Time. i think it's less that i doubt what's happening inside me and more that i doubt my ability to present a clear, understandable version of this process to the rest of the world.

The worst is in the classroom; in my field of study we talk a LOT of theory, something i've always been great at. i know my ideas are thoughtful and would add a lot to the discussion, but in class i find myself doubting my ability to communicate these inner musings to the rest of the class. it's sooooo annoying because usually i will think of something, try and organize my thoughts, write it out so i have a reference....and before i know it the professor or someone else in the class has said exactly what it took me 5 min. to put into a coherent sentence.

My extroversion is rather well developed, i just find that there's SO much swimming around in my head it takes me a long time to catch up with all of it and cut out all the rambling bits. my writing skills tend to be much better, but even still have problems organizing my thoughts for others to understand.
 

Eckhart

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I have much problems with self doubt as well, in many areas.

At school, although I often knew answers (more often than most, also the difficult ones no one knew sometimes), I never by myself participated actively in the lessons. I always had some passive fear that what I will say somehow will be bad. That is bad because my ratio knows very well that I am not stupid, that I was maybe more intelligent than most at school, which was also recognized by many teachers in my written work. Also some teachers very often just gave the question to me although I didn't give a sign that I wanted to speak, and so I had to answer much and mostly it was right. But still I never were able to just get over it.

The same it was with social relationships, though that developed later. I had serious doubts whether I am actually accepted or liked by the people I hang around with at school, and so always kept some distance. Again my ratio is rather sure that I behave stupid, but my doubts were too great. But there I have to say that I had not only one bad experience with people who I thought were my friends, which turned out different and which hurt me.

The problem with the latter is, when I keep that distance all the time people actually really start to think.
 

gromit

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I doubt myself when I get too introspective. When I just do something, it usually works out surprisingly well, or I just figure out how to deal with obstacles as I go along. I don't know if I am INFP or not though.
 

paradox fox

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I was wondering if it is a common trait for an INFP to doubt him/herself. I feel like I have so much potential but I always find myself rationalizing out of a dream, or an idea. It's always, I'm not extroverted enough, I don't have the tenacity to follow through with it, or I'm just not organized enough or a myriad of things. Do any other INFPs experience this self-deprecating behavior?

Only always.
 

FalseHeartDothKnow

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Yes, though I work really hard to slam these to the back of my mind because it could easily turn into self pity, and then it gets really ugly.
I tend to use it instead as a positive to spur on others, instead of thinking 'I'm not good enough at this', I tend to see potential in others and think, 'Oh my, ____, do you know how good at that you are?' The beauty in others, as in any human, is a wonderful thing.
I mean, what if they were having the same doubts about themselves, right?
 

gromit

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I doubt myself when I get too introspective. When I just do something, it usually works out surprisingly well, or I just figure out how to deal with obstacles as I go along. I don't know if I am INFP or not though.

Or when I make a serious error in judgment...
 

MoneyJungle

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Feb 3, 2009
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Self doubt is one of my defining characteristics. It has often been a stumbling block, but it has also been a good filter for which creative projects to pursue and leads me to higher standards in the execution thereof. I pity people who don't have any self doubt. What a narrow existence that must be. As long as you don't let self-doubt cripple you into complete inaction, it can be an asset.
 

gromit

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I pity people who don't have any self doubt. What a narrow existence that must be.

Those are some pretty strong words. Do you believe absence of self doubt is incompatible with depth of experience?
 

flameskull95

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Yes, - Something that holds me back from accomplishing some things that I really want to do, and after I can't do it anymore, I remind my self that there's a difference between what I want, and what I need, just to cheer myself up, but there's still that sinking feeling.
 

Synapse

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Like yes, but of course this would change when I am confident and apparently I am today. Who would of thought. Self doubt is perhaps something that we are utilizing as part of the insecurity drive when those that are closest to us undermine our being. In that respect being INFP living in a predominantly opposite society to ours the reflection would be inward after all and the self doubt would take effect long past the psyche of our minds to reflect those energies that influence us most. its like a parallel junction and the thoughts are scrambled as such and then those self doubting images acrimoniously bounce back towards us, the energies that shouldn't but do, because we think we are then somehow misrepresented as the entities that we are meant to be. And you know what that is a shame because we are incredible just the way we are and we hardly realise that until later in our life when maturation happens. for each of use there are different states that need exist and feel like we are finally discarding those sub states that inhibit us from ourselves and finally trust who we are as people and go forth and be great without the self doubt. :D
 
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