Hi Pink, sorry I've been so long in replying!

Common interests, I find, as do most people, are essential to maintaining a (more than physical) relationship. There has to be some communal staging area where you both meet, and by "commonality" I mean a similar driving passion.
Very interesting, I'd like to learn more about his - to try and find a general framework that would be compatible with all ENFJ relationships.

If it's not the same passion, there has to be a commonality or duality between the differing passions or things will NOT work out.
I'd like to know more about how these kinds of differences could be compensated for. I get that people don't always have to agree, but somtimes they do need to have at least 1 fundamental thing in common.

We had common and/or harmonizing interests
Sounds like a duality relationship.

Makes sense to me about Cobain. He had the punk attitude, only revamped for a newer climate.
Yeah, I agree. I think that his music had punk in it, but Cobains genius has to take that and then articulate it into a sound which was compatible with Pop.

He liked Cobain, thought Kurt was a "new thing" and a total waste when he heard Cobain had committed suicide.
I agree, I still miss Cobain and the great music he would have written had he lived.

And she gets the punk attitude and admires it in us.
I like her.

She knows what it's like to be neglected and knocked around and treated like garbage and physically beat up.
Ouch, I have a little empathy with that.

. Punks are survivors.
Yeah, i guess they need to be.