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[MBTI General] Attracted to sadness?

deep rain

New member
Joined
Jul 1, 2007
Messages
61
MBTI Type
ENFP
Do you feel it a waste of time or something you hate to feel to linger in sadness when you can be happy, or do you like it and it feels okay to you? Almost like it's vital or repleneshing to dwell on it sometimes?
 

MerkW

New member
Joined
Aug 10, 2007
Messages
534
I'm no NF, so I'm not sure how well I can answer your question. However, I have in fact read that INxx types in general tend to be attracted to gloomy, macabre, or sad atmospheres.
 

Eileen

New member
Joined
Apr 19, 2007
Messages
2,179
MBTI Type
INFJ
Enneagram
6?
I can appreciate my sadness as a profound human experience sometimes. I'm not always in a hurry to leave it.
 

wolfmaiden14

*ears perk up*
Joined
Oct 14, 2007
Messages
590
MBTI Type
Infx
I usually feel guilty for feeling sad, even though I wish I wouldn't because I think it's a totally healthy thing ...more along the lines of "You know it's going to get better, and you'll be fine in time.. so just suck it up until then!"

Though I do think it's necessary to actually feel the pain/sadness in order to let it go. If I try to fight it, it usually fights back even harder. I just try not to linger on it.
 

GZA

Resident Snot-Nose
Joined
Aug 13, 2007
Messages
1,771
MBTI Type
infp
I can appreciate my sadness as a profound human experience sometimes. I'm not always in a hurry to leave it.
Haha, me too. :D

Its not like I'd ever want to be sad for a long time, its more that I realize that when I am sad, its part of the human experience. Its something deep and authentic, emotions, and feeling a veriety of them is worthwhile and feels productive in a sense.

What really bothers me is frustration. Theres no way to grow from that :steam:
 

surgery

New member
Joined
Sep 28, 2007
Messages
257
MBTI Type
INFP
Enneagram
Four
I find that relishing the emotion for a while helps me to eventually move on. As for being attracted to sad things, I find sombre art, moods, etc. have their own special beauty.
 

redacted

Well-known member
Joined
Nov 28, 2007
Messages
4,223
sometimes it feels really good to work through/deal with your emotions.

for me, even though i might feel sad dealing with emotions, i always feel good about myself for not taking the easy way out -- repression.

i definitely don't like to go around moping and being a burden, though -- i can always suppress my emotions until i can deal with them in a comfortable environment. but dealing with them is key; otherwise you'll end up acting out in less healthy ways.
 

Siúil a Rúin

when the colors fade
Joined
Apr 23, 2007
Messages
14,037
MBTI Type
ISFP
Enneagram
496
Instinctual Variant
sp/sx
I appreciate a certain reflective melancholy and bittersweetness that speaks to some truth about reality. I don't like being sad personally and am tired of such things. I like having some energy and joy.
 

Atomic Fiend

New member
Joined
Nov 16, 2007
Messages
7,275
I think it's the other way around. Sadness has the uncanny ability to find you at the most inopportune of moments.
 

Lethe

Obsession.
Joined
Aug 26, 2007
Messages
801
MBTI Type
iNtJ
Enneagram
152
Instinctual Variant
so/sx
I agree with the majority here - I enjoy sadness because it's the moment where I usually find the best solutions.

In fact, melancholy is one of my favorite emotions - its aesthetic and subliminal qualities are astonding. ;)

It's not to be confused with depression though.

Deep Rain: Fantastic avatar! :) *thumbs up*
 

Domino

ENFJ In Chains
Joined
Nov 5, 2007
Messages
11,429
MBTI Type
eNFJ
Enneagram
4w3
Instinctual Variant
sx/so
I'm in a storm most of the time, with breaks in between for overcast drizzle. Not a sunshine kind of person. I like shady places. And I think there's a distinct difference between wallowing in a depressive funk and being a person naturally disposed toward "gloom".

Not all flowers blush for the sun, as the Arabs say.
 

helen

New member
Joined
Nov 20, 2007
Messages
241
MBTI Type
INFJ
An occasional melancholy lingering of the thoughts, a pause for mourning and grieving over the sadder events of life, seems to me valuable and no waste of time. It's a kind of honoring of aspects of human experience that can be properly honored in no other way. Usually the mood fades away naturally when it should. It can be prompted (in me) by a real life happening, or by contemplating certain novels, plays, music, and poems.

I do not equate this healthy kind of sadness with depression or my occasional extended bouts of grumpiness and irritability, which I consider unhealthy and unproductive and try to shake myself out of as best I can. :)
 

Totenkindly

@.~*virinaĉo*~.@
Joined
Apr 19, 2007
Messages
50,191
MBTI Type
BELF
Enneagram
594
Instinctual Variant
sx/sp
Do you feel it a waste of time or something you hate to feel to linger in sadness when you can be happy, or do you like it and it feels okay to you? Almost like it's vital or repleneshing to dwell on it sometimes?

Sadness/Melancholy is an intense feeling, so it can inspire me to create and comprehend things. (It is far more useful to me than indifference or apathy.)

Besides that, however, it's not really a choice to be sad. If I'm sad, then it is honest to be sad. If I'm happy, then it's honest to be happy. I don't like to push emotions away just because they're negative, if I have something that I should truly feel negative about. It's like a denial of truth to me.
 

OctaviaCaesar

New member
Joined
Oct 18, 2007
Messages
211
MBTI Type
INFJ
I feel like I always need to have a strong sense of yearning or I am not myself; a yearning for something that I can never have--not material, but like a knight in shining armor or something as mythical and mystical.

Please, please someone tell me that this somehow makes sense.:blush:
 

Totenkindly

@.~*virinaĉo*~.@
Joined
Apr 19, 2007
Messages
50,191
MBTI Type
BELF
Enneagram
594
Instinctual Variant
sx/sp
I feel like I always need to have a strong sense of yearning or I am not myself; a yearning for something that I can never have--not material, but like a knight in shining armor or something as mythical and mystical. Please, please someone tell me that this somehow makes sense.:blush:

Yes, it does make sense.

Or, at least, you are not alone.

The sense that there is something bigger, deeper, more brilliant, more substantial, the thing that gives life to the universe and meaning to life, out there somewhere... and we can't quite see it, no matter how hard we try.

Infuriatingly elusive... like the brilliant butterfly whose wings you can brush the tips of your fingers against but cannot quite capture. *sigh*
 

cafe

Well-known member
Joined
Apr 19, 2007
Messages
9,827
MBTI Type
INFJ
Enneagram
9w1
Most of my favorite songs are at least a little sad. I love them because of the feeling of not-aloneness for lack of a better word. When the song expresses the richness and depth of the the (to steal from Octavia) yearning that, to me, is part of the human condition, it makes me feel connected to life. It somehow is also joyful maybe because the sad means we feel and if we feel we still live. I don't know.

In life in general, I'm a pessimistically happy person. There is always the shadow of sadness, but I try to keep my face toward the light, if that makes any sense.
 

Domino

ENFJ In Chains
Joined
Nov 5, 2007
Messages
11,429
MBTI Type
eNFJ
Enneagram
4w3
Instinctual Variant
sx/so
I feel like I always need to have a strong sense of yearning or I am not myself; a yearning for something that I can never have--not material, but like a knight in shining armor or something as mythical and mystical.

Please, please someone tell me that this somehow makes sense.:blush:


Perfect total sense.
 

wolfmaiden14

*ears perk up*
Joined
Oct 14, 2007
Messages
590
MBTI Type
Infx
Yes, it does make sense.

Or, at least, you are not alone.

The sense that there is something bigger, deeper, more brilliant, more substantial, the thing that gives life to the universe and meaning to life, out there somewhere... and we can't quite see it, no matter how hard we try.

Infuriatingly elusive... like the brilliant butterfly whose wings you can brush the tips of your fingers against but cannot quite capture. *sigh*


Second that same opinion, Octavia!
 

JivinJeffJones

New member
Joined
Apr 25, 2007
Messages
3,702
MBTI Type
INFP
Depressed women are brutally hot. I don't know why this should be the case, but they are just too hot for me to argue. It's hard to cheer them up or help them because you just wanna say "DON'T! EVER! CHANGE!"

I realize that this isn't what the OP was addressing, but I thought it should be said before we all disappear into a bottomless scented bower of NFery.
 
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