[MBTI General] Attracted to sadness?

[Domino]

You and your Goth girls. XX OO

 

[JivinJeffJones]

You and your Goth girls. XX OO

It's not just Goth girls. She could be a depressed cheerleader and I...I...





If anyone needs me I'll be in my bunk.

View attachment 1009

 

[htb]

OP: When I was younger, yes, but not after I realized it could kill me -- so now I fend the black dog off.

 

[Sandy]

Music of any kind is one of my greatest passions...

WHEN I WAS YOUNGER... (Sheesh, I've been saying that a lot ) I wondered why I was drawn to, identified mostly with, and was moved deeply by the power of minor music (classical or otherwise). I chocked it up to my stressful home situation, however my siblings didn't react the same way.

Thankfully, I think I got most of the sadness out of my system, however I still appreciate just about any minor music.

 

[chippinchunk]

It's not really the attraction to sadness, it's more of an attraction to depth of feeling.

 

[arcticangel02]

It's not really the attraction to saddness, it's more of an attraction to deep feeling.

Oh yes! That sounds exactly like what I wanted to express.

I'm a naturally cheerful person, and I am rarely truly 'sad' or 'depressed'. If I am, it's usually a momentary thing, and I dislike it enough not to want to linger.

But on the other hand, a lot of the music I listen to and I adore is so sad and depressing and bleak. But chippinchunk hit it on the head - I love that sort of music because there's so much passion and strength and depth to the sadness that just absorbs me without usually making me sad, too. It's wonderful.

Of course, there is the occasional cheerful song that I love as intensely as the sad ones, but there's a fine, fine line between being boring and banal and being overly cheesy when you're dealing with positive emotions.

 

[cascadeco]

Hmm...let me see if I can articulate this!

I don't know that I'm 'attracted' to sadness. I mean, I'm 'attracted' to joy and passion and zest too. Maybe I'm attracted to realness, because all of them are part of life.

I feel like it's a rarity when I am experiencing just ONE emotion - and when I'm able to isolate my experience into just one emotion, then I can really be 'comfortable' in it, and bask in it, if you will. With sadness...pure sadness...that's more melancholy for me, and it's more of a quiet emotion; very contemplative, and actually kind of objective. Just recognizing there is a lot about the world and our existance that IS sad. Or certain books will make me feel sad deep within...but it's not so much that I wallow in it, it's just a recognition. I was feeling it a lot while reading a book recently called 'A Fine Balance'. It was just a beautiful, but very sad, book...and the sadness made it beautiful. I don't know...anyway, I don't associate pure sadness as 'bad'.

Negative emotional experiences for me though are when I have a million emotions running simultaneously, and I'm unable to isolate them. So negative for me is usually the following emotion (and yes, experiencing all of them simultaneously is what's difficult for me) -- upset/confused/anxious/bitter/guilt/self-bashing/despair/negativity/irritation/panic. Like, the combo of ALL of those at once is what's negative for me. Imagine that. :rolli: So for me, it can be difficult to get to the root of what's going on - and it's only when I do that that the onslaught of all of the emotions will dissipate and I'll be left with just one. I know that must sound weird.

But pure sadness - no, that's just fine.

PS - and by the way, I'm not always experiencing negative emotions!! I can be quite happy/joyous on the other hand. I think it's a pretty equal balance of all of it.

 

[Hirsch63]

I am certainly more attracted to "sad" art (paintings, music, drama, etc), I feel it is simply more "real" and reflective of the majority of human experience. Melancholy is a sweet form of sadness; a cultivation of the enriching aspects of sombre reflection. Happiness is exceptional...something we pursue in hope and that I feel cannot be forced. This makes happiness all the more genuinely sweeter and satisfying when it is achieved.

This is not (as mentioned earlier in the thread) the sadness of Depression...a spiraling out of control of our mood...Like happiness accelerating into Mania. Walking around excessively dour and woe begotten is about as useful as walking around saccharine sweet and aggresively effusive. Any of these may reflect a serious imbalance in some aspect of our physicality.

I try to enjoy a balance of quiet, reflective happy and sad reflections...both enrich my exisitence and help maintain a sort of contentment while I travel through this place and time.

 

[runvardh]

Storm and rain, the chaos outside matching the chaos inside - It is then my soul finds peace...

 

[cafe]

It's not really the attraction to sadness, it's more of an attraction to depth of feeling.

Yep. That's it.

 

[shen]

is it just me or has anyone noticed how it just touches the edges of time and makes you kind of half smile, which goes unnoticed until the very last memory/thought fades.....or is that something else

 

[Athenian200]

Do you feel it a waste of time or something you hate to feel to linger in sadness when you can be happy, or do you like it and it feels okay to you? Almost like it's vital or repleneshing to dwell on it sometimes?

Sometimes, maybe. Lingering in it for a while, maybe for a few hours/days is fine and cathartic at times, but much longer than that, and I'll try to find a way out. This is best if it's not terribly intense or causing me extreme, immediate grief.

If the sadness/pain is too severe, I might be forced to "shut down" emotionally and try to ignore the feelings for a while, until I can get things sorted out. It's extremely eerie/unnerving to think about the times when that happened though, so I do my best to keep things from getting that bad. I think it's only happened two/three times, thankfully.

 

[Sandy]

You know, as much as I was ATTRACTED to emotional things, I never showed it outright. I smile a lot. People didn't ever really notice the turmoil inside of me.

Maybe, too, that's why I enjoy comedy so much. It helps me keep my attraction to the sad things in balance.

So much to think about...

 

[Domino]

I like to call my sad-happy sensation "Despair-ilarity".

 

[the state i am in]

i feel like a liar and thief if i haven't tasted all the colors of the rainbow. you have a palette and you just want it all, every hue, depth, richness, saturation, mixing, stirring, blending. it's the life that is distinctly human, therefore it is holy.

it's easy for me to get confused and fall into the trap that the only purpose and only art of life is intense feeling. transforming life into a performance on the body. watch her mourn and you'll instantly fall in love. it is true in a way that words are not (no more lies!). it breaks human bodies but spirits can still fight back. and how i want to reach out, want to reach you

ahh, reading too many tragedies, the hero always dies, embarking never to return. the finality, the big questions that are presented in suffering, struggle, torment, yearning, melancholy, hope, despair, loss big beautiful faith, a loving gesture with the total innocence and purity of a child's eyes...

if you don't go down deep in the shit you can never rise up and feel the perfect accelerated ascent as you peer over the clouds. there are very valid reasons why people love rollercoasters, you're never asleep and never faking it and you're always always! alive

also, sad songs yes. melancholy, yes. all my favorite music, really, except i also love the ones capable of the epiphany, the ascent, the moment when they feel it all and start floating off the ground. people who have experienced profound sadness know secrets that are the key to the heart.

 

[whimsical]

i find there is something poetic in sadness even though it may be unbearable at times

 

[SillySapienne]

I am so sensitive to human sadness that it makes going out to public places *really* *really* difficult for me, at times.

For entirely selfish reasons, I would and do love to make people feel happy, and in general, love and aspire to elevate people's spirits and outlooks on life. In other words, help make people feel better about themselves and their situations, do what I can to make them see something positive about themselves or their lives, that they themselves may not see.

Regarding misery and miserable people, however...

I've been miserable before, and strongly believe that miserable people should quarantine themselves, (while finding and engaging in treatment that's well-suited for their specific needs), because misery is a highly toxic, and infectious, deeply-rooted, pathological state, and innocents need and should not be infected/affected by miserable souls, though sadly, every day,they are.

To answer the OP, however, yeah, I am kinda attracted to sadness. :/

 

[Antreus]

When I am depressed it is usually then when I become at my highest, incredibly self-aware of myself, how I fit in a situation, how my environment is affecting me and a lot of other indicaters. Being depressed for me is just my body's way of saying something is going on, my barometer is peaking, analyze the events going on right now. Reflect over your relationships, reflect, reflect, reflect.

Depression always ends with a revelatory upswing and it is usually because I have found the key and I in a sense die to old habits once I lift out of depression. Depression needs to be understood at the root, then you will find the flower and it's fruit.

Remember to eat good and sleep. Meditation has helped me and being conscious of my habits as I do them. These are very important if not the most important to your happiness as they help you diagnose yourself. Which is completely contrary to what I actually carry out. ( I smoke cigarettes for example ) It's so easy for me not to sleep ( always reading something or some other thing online ) and also very easy for me not to take care of my bodily needs. I just forget about myself.

Take time to dwell on yourself. I always get out of my depression when I self-reflect and then project that understanding outwards in some material, physical, or conversational way. What I am doing now is very, very therapeutic for me. You need to share your life and insights, otherwise you become like a sponge unable to draw in more life and you become your own poison and very much mired. Writing is a very useful tool, even if you write to yourself. You are your own shrink, any other I have had only seems like a consolation prize. There's not much weight as much as I can convey and impart to me, myself, just by listening to my own body and mind instinctively.

As my friend Niko told me, an NT I am sure of it. Being emotional can be a good thing. And let me add in, 'If you know how to use it.' And honestly it gets even the best of us who know how to respond to it assertively. It's very subtle sometimes your not even aware until it hits you like a sack of bricks. Uncanny yeah. I've debated and abated the mere fact that my existence seems trivial and small in the scope of the world but somehow that makes me sane. Yes this life is fleeting, yes it is downright cynical and at times discouraging, depressing, all the suffering you feel intrinsically in your being and I see no use in preserving it or want to completely lock down. Do I fear the end of the world, no. I fear not having connected emotionally with enough people. And in this world I have found the memories I make with these connections are always my highest joy.

All my achievements, my schooling, my artwork, pondering a life 'career' I have made at first I thought they were mere prestige, illusions, entanglements to keep me busy and indifferent, pretentious, safe and secure, dying. But I have come to realize they are in fact links and chains, a myriad of ribbons I wrap around myself so that I can connect with and relate with as many people and opportunities to help more and more people and to connect with them ever more emotionally to find the root of for myself, what truly is it about humanity that drives me to such ends. What is it all really?

Depression is your personal life tutor if you know how to listen. And listening is the highest generosity at times you can give, as I am sure you know. However you forget to give generously most of all to yourself.

 

[Nonsensical]

I always an attracted to sad songs and movies. I thrive off of melancholy and I don't mind feeling like it even when I can be happy. I can't stay in a depressive mood for a long time, though..as I need some light. I can go from being very happy and excited to melancholic and back in a matter of hours.

 

[Stanton Moore]

My most creative moments as a musician have come through pain/sorrow. I wish it were not so, but it is...