[ENFP] To INFP's and ENFP's...

[OrangeAppled]

I'm very introverted and it would be very unusual for me to be confused with an extrovert. I think when I feel like I am being very outgoing, I seem "normal" to other people. It only feels exuberant to me. If I am really connected to the moment, then it has an intensity that can make others uncomfortable. I think an introvert may have a harder time balancing their energy - it comes out inconsistently.

Since I was young, people have commented that I am very quiet, but those who get to know me well forget I am shy & would not call me "reserved". My childhood ENFP friend would get frustrated with me because she didn't see me as shy, so she thought my reluctance to interact with people was snobbishness.

People exhaust me. Extended interaction for me can be anywhere from 10 minutes to 2 hours, depending on the intensity of it. If I can have moments of pause, then I can last longer, but after around 2 hours I tend to peter out.

I have this feeling of being freed when leaving a social situation. Like, when I am in my car driving off, I feel excited to be alone again.

I'm preoccupied with my own thoughts & exploring my inner world, and that's when I feel most at ease.

 

[lunalove]

Orange, do you find that there is a difference between one-on-one and group interaction? Have people expressed how they see you when you've been in a social situation and you need space? How would you describe how you feel? I usually tune out. I've been told I seem bored...but I've come to realize I'm usually looking for the exit!

It's confusing for me. My mom was an introvert and she didn't want me to be...and told me so outright as a child! I spent most of my life trying to be extroverted for her...I'm thinking I'm more introverted but it's tough to sort it out. (Hope that's not too much info!!) Thanks for your examples...they are helpful to me

 

[Thalassa]

ENFPs are more dependent on other people for our overall happiness, I think, even though we can seem introverted at times. I think Fi doms are much more self-sufficient in that regard although they're NFs.

I think ENFPs are more likely to use Ne/Te and be bossy or confrontational, too, where as the INFP will be more passive-aggressive or withdraw.

 

[lunalove]

ENFPs are more dependent on other people for our overall happiness, I think, even though we can seem introverted at times. I think Fi doms are much more self-sufficient in that regard although they're NFs.

Do you mean ENFP's need more interaction with people or approval from people (or both)?

I think ENFPs are more likely to use Ne/Te and be bossy or confrontational, too, where as the INFP will be more passive-aggressive or withdraw.

I am definitely one to withdraw! I'm not sure I'm passive-aggressive though...I'll have to watch myself for that! Thanks...

 

[OrangeAppled]

Orange, do you find that there is a difference between one-on-one and group interaction? Have people expressed how they see you when you've been in a social situation and you need space? How would you describe how you feel? I usually tune out. I've been told I seem bored...but I've come to realize I'm usually looking for the exit!

Yes, I tend to feel less overwhelmed when one-on-one, but there are still many times I sink into quiet repose. I can be content to just be with someone, and not talk at all. Or I will get very intense in the conversation.

In a group, I am very much a wallflower, and people often ask me if I am tired or unhappy. I just have to step back a bit, and as you say "tune out" in order to maintain sanity. I will come in & out of a conversation because I'll be half listening until something catches my attention. One-on-one, I listen more intently to the other person.

 

[INTP]

I don't mind talking to strangers in some cases. I definitely try to connect with my husband or a close friend's thoughts/feelings...I need a lot of approval. So socially I seem introverted, but if I'm close with someone, extroverted? Quite confusing....thanks for the info

yea but for example if my enfp mom sees a cute dog in a train, she will most likely go talk to the owner and pet the dog. my infp friend would never do that, but if he had a dog i dont think that he would mind if someone would come talk to him and tell how cute his dog is etc. maybe some infps who were really much into dogs could do that in some cases, but starting to talk to strangers just doesent come so naturally to them. and my mom isnt even big dog enthusiast, but she likes cute animals generally

 

[Thalassa]

yea but for example if my enfp mom sees a cute dog in a train, she will most likely go talk to the owner and pet the dog. my infp friend would never do that, but if he had a dog i dont think that he would mind if someone would come talk to him and tell how cute his dog is etc. maybe some infps who were really much into dogs could do that in some cases, but starting to talk to strangers just doesent come so naturally to them

yeah I tell strangers when I'm walking down the street that their dog is cute

 

[lunalove]

Yes, I tend to feel less overwhelmed when one-on-one, but there are still many times I sink into quiet repose. I can be content to just be with someone, and not talk at all. Or I will get very intense in the conversation.

Do people understand when you just get quiet? Do they start to think you're depressed? Or bored? Do you ever get almost manic with someone you're close to...kind o hyper and you'll just talk excitedly about something?

In a group, I am very much a wallflower, and people often ask me if I am tired or unhappy. I just have to step back a bit, and as you say "tune out" in order to maintain sanity. I will come in & out of a conversation because I'll be half listening until something catches my attention. One-on-one, I listen more intently to the other person.

So you do get the "you seem tired/unhappy" bit? It took me years to realize I was simply needing space...close friends seemed more in touch with it than I was I feel lost in groups. Sometimes I will connect with an individual and talk to them. Otherwise I kind of zone out and get very quiet. If I do say something, it's usually awkward and I feel pretty looney lol

 

[lunalove]

INTP and Marmalade, I might go over to a dog owner to pet their dog. I might tell a cashier I like her necklace and ask where she got it. Is this exclusively an extroverted trait then?

 

[boondocked]

I just lost a mini-manifesto written in reply to this thread!! ARRUGGGUGHHH!

I'll coming back to rewrite it, though, because I love this topic! My brother is an INFP; we've talked a LOT about what makes us different and the same.

I'LL BE BACK!

 

[lunalove]

I just lost a mini-manifesto written in reply to this thread!! ARRUGGGUGHHH!

I'll coming back to rewrite it, though, because I love this topic! My brother is an INFP; we've talked a LOT about what makes us different and the same.

I'LL BE BACK!

Thanks boondocked, I look forward to it!

 

[gigi_xo]

its all in the order of the functions.


tis the ONE thing besides she's slightly quieter, that separates me and my INFP best friend

 

[Lady_X]

you know how some extraverts seem very extraverted even one on one tho? i don't think enfps are like that...i think in a group we're obviously extraverts but less likely one on one...it seems that way to me at least....i think it's the ne and bouncing off of so many people at once and one on one we just acclimate our temperature to match or meet in the middle or something.

 

[Laurie]

it's the difference between introversion and extraversion basically. extraverts are out there more and introverts are loners.

Should I be concerned that I read this as "losers" rather than "loners"

 

[yvonne]

Should I be concerned that I read this as "losers" rather than "loners"

yes.

 

[Thalassa]

Should I be concerned that I read this as "losers" rather than "loners"

 

[runvardh]

I'm more likely to drop work at work and not talk about it when I get home; while my brother will come home and won't stop yammering about his day. I go to my room to escape and drift while my brother goes to his room because I've stopped entertaining him. I'm more relaxed when I have a few days to myself while my brother gets mad at me after a few days of no talk. Just for a few differences.

Edit: I also feel like I'm having to take care of a bad girlfriend with none of the perks, while he feels I'm always running away from him.

 

[lunalove]

I'm more likely to drop work at work and not talk about it when I get home; while my brother will come home and won't stop yammering about his day. I go to my room to escape and drift while my brother goes to his room because I've stopped entertaining him. I'm more relaxed when I have a few days to myself while my brother gets mad at me after a few days of no talk. Just for a few differences.

Edit: I also feel like I'm having to take care of a bad girlfriend with none of the perks, while he feels I'm always running away from him.

I'm beginning to think I'm simply a mix or something! I don't like being social most of the time and I feel awkward in social situations, in groups especially. I am more comfortable with strangers funny enough! I have no problem speaking to someone I don't know...but put me in a group of people (whether I know them or not!) and I need a time out! I don't like spending too much time with people...but I do yap about my day or other things on my mind if I feel comfortable with someone. I have to have time to myself or I get cranky and out of sorts. But when hubby needs time to himself, I often wonder if he's mad at me?? *wondering out loud* is it possible to be a mix of INFP and ENFP?

 

[INTP]

I'm beginning to think I'm simply a mix or something! I don't like being social most of the time and I feel awkward in social situations, in groups especially. I am more comfortable with strangers funny enough! I have no problem speaking to someone I don't know...but put me in a group of people (whether I know them or not!) and I need a time out! I don't like spending too much time with people...but I do yap about my day or other things on my mind if I feel comfortable with someone. I have to have time to myself or I get cranky and out of sorts. But when hubby needs time to himself, I often wonder if he's mad at me?? *wondering out loud* is it possible to be a mix of INFP and ENFP?

i think your an infp with low introversion and high extraversion

 

[Lady_X]

I'm beginning to think I'm simply a mix or something! I don't like being social most of the time and I feel awkward in social situations, in groups especially. I am more comfortable with strangers funny enough! I have no problem speaking to someone I don't know...but put me in a group of people (whether I know them or not!) and I need a time out! I don't like spending too much time with people...but I do yap about my day or other things on my mind if I feel comfortable with someone. I have to have time to myself or I get cranky and out of sorts. But when hubby needs time to himself, I often wonder if he's mad at me?? *wondering out loud* is it possible to be a mix of INFP and ENFP?

i said the same thing after i joined. i thought i was infp and then asked if i could just be both haha

i still sometimes wonder way down in there if i'm wrong...no clue why.