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  1. #1
    Join Date
    Mar 2008

    Default Breaking ENFJ romantic relationships

    How hard is it for you guys to get to the point where you cut off a romantic relationship? What all does it take to make you get to that point? Will you stick with it no matter what hell comes your way, or is there a definite line to how much you'll tolerate in trying to make the relationship work? I know you're very loyal and committed types, I want to know what makes that break down in the end.

  2. #2
    Lungs & Lips Locked Unkindloving's Avatar
    Join Date
    Dec 2009
    ENFj None


    A brief readout:
    How much i care
    The severity of the problem
    The consistency of the problem
    Degree of one-sidedness

    If i don't care enough, i won't tolerate much at all. I won't give many second chances and i will be harsh. This is especially made worse by severe and consistent problems.

    If i care immensely, i'll tolerate enough to be considered a doormat at times. I'll give the benefit of the doubt more than i should. I'll hold my tongue on certain issues until they persist too much. I'll give tons of chances to resolve, despite becoming too emotionally invested/drained. When a severe issue shows no sign of being altered and all discussions/attempts lead to one-sided effort, then i am spent on a person.

    I've been learning (thanks to the magic and terror of experience) how to have less doormat qualities.
    Hang on traveling woman - Don't sacrifice your plan
    Cause it will come back to you - Before you lose it on the man

    .:: DWTWD ::.

    There is this thing keeping everyone's lungs and lips locked - It is called fear and it's seeing a great renaissance

  3. #3
    Member Kymlee's Avatar
    Join Date
    Mar 2010


    In my experiences, its very hard for me to turn away from someone, whatever this thing is that we carry, the need to "help" other people, and to NOT hurt them overcomes even our basic need for emotional stability and our own happiness. I have found myself in bad and unhealthy relationships because I always wanted to see the silver lining in a damaged person. This development of caring for ourselves as well as others is something that is a conscious effort and can most definitely be a hardship if not learned quickly. I've talked to a couple other ENJF's that go through the same things, and although we tend to be strong personalities, there is a side to us that wants to "fix" our partners of their bad habits or issues they might have. Actually this year was a big eye opener for me specifically in relationships. It's very difficult to learn to let go when all you've done for years is hold onto the idea that you can be a champion and help everyone and give yourself fully and allow others to continually break your heart.

    Bottom line is, any type of person needs to know their limits, and how NOT to settle for something just because you're afraid of the change, or being alone, etc.
    Hope that was a little helpful.

    Kymlee: Life Story
    Libra (Sun)
    "When you run into someone who is disagreeable to others, you may be sure he is uncomfortable with himself; the amount of pain we inflict upon others is directly proportional to the amount we feel within us."
    -Sydney J. Harris

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