[ENFP] Who has thicker skin ENFP or ENFJ ?

[sculpting]

Easier said than done of course, but even slowing down enough to think all that can create enough distance between me and the cause. This process helps me and the more I do it, the more I find a certain level of peace internally. Some situations I can do it in 10 minutes, others may take months or years to work through this. I can tell you right now, focusing on anger, hurt, offense, frustration, and pain only makes things worse. That shit feeds upon itself, kinda like an Ouroboros.

oooo, this is weird...but I have to feel that pain. I actually have to allow it time to process, even a few days. I will feel, feel, feel, pain or hurt in cycles. It cycles through anger a bit-but the pain is where the lesson gets learned?

After a few days, suddenly my view will have shifted-not logically, but internally my emotionally mindset will differ. I think this may be new Fi rules/values being built. I can feel my emotional response being discordant in places and that as I allow myself to feel, my brain is sorting out the wrinkles. It feels like solving math problems using handfuls of pudding, WTF-but the final emotional answer trumps whatever Te logical answer I already had developed. Or I can logically understand something, but I still have to "feel" the answer, to be okay with it. Freaky weird.

The trick-I cannot learn these emotional lessons by watching other people learn them like I can with Te. I seem to have to feel them myself.

 

[Thalassa]

Was that comment in defense of your little kitty heart?

No.

 

[Ratsimoan]

I am going to ignore this confusing dispute (Maybe it's not a dispute I dunno, it seems quasi-angry though) and just stick my thoughts in here.

Well I would say ENFP's have thicker skin because ENFJ's leads with feeling and have inferior thinking. Also, I find it's harder to get at Fi and make them hurt. Fe would hear an insult and think: 'I am supposed to be insulted' and would probably be upset. I suppose, if you do hit the Fi where it hurts though, it REALLY hurts. But I still think Fi has thicker skin, ultimately. I also think ENFP's would let things go quicker with their inferior Si.

So true, I tend to let things go quickly because I hate conflict and the nasty feeling it gives off. I don't know who has the thickest skin-enfj and enfp. But all I know is a person can't hurt me unless- I know you personally or you come at my values and beliefs. Like someone said on the thread, certain things might hurt enfp and not enfj and vs. All I know we're one of the sensitive types.

 

[Virtual ghost]

Resurrection.

 

[stalemate]

Resurrection.

How could you? This hurts...

 

[skylights]

well, for the easy answer, ENFJ.

thing is, we both take it personally. we both get hurt and angry. but ENFJs protect themselves (and others) with walls of interpersonal removal. ENFPs don't; no Fe. we either open up or we fight back.

chart - in general,

if they think you are right in your criticism:

• ENFJ will take it more rationally outwardly, but may hurt inside
• ENFP will be more openly hurt/embarrassed

if they think you are wrong in your criticism:

• ENFJ will be condescending or give cold shoulder
• ENFP will launch fiery argument

 

[ChocolateMoose123]

They are evenly non-thick skinned. They just show their hurt differently. From my experience, it's easy to tell when an ENFP is upset or hurt about something so it's easier to deal with issues right then and there. ENFJ's are better at hiding it and then they bring it up at a later event to discuss. So ENFJ's just seem to hold onto it for a longer period of time.

 

[syndatha]

I'm not sure if it only pertains to me (other ENFJs, feel free to chime in), but i am not at all for political correctness, do not get insulted easily (or much at all), and can be extremely abrasive.

It may be a 4w5 contribution or a situational thing.

I'm a thin-skinned little bitch if there's a problem between myself and someone i genuinely care about, but apart from that i'm quite solid.
Where do the other ENFs feel their subjective weak spots are?

I think my weak spot has to do with not feeling competent. Apart from that, I'm pretty thick skinned.

 

[HotpinkHeatwave]

ENFPs. We have Fi. We're not openly emotional.

Personally, I am very thick-skinned. I'm hard to truly offend, and I can stand up for myself.

all the ENFJs I know are overly emotional and dramatic as HELL. It seems as if something ALWAYS has to be wrong in their lives.

 

[rav3n]

They are evenly non-thick skinned. They just show their hurt differently. From my experience, it's easy to tell when an ENFP is upset or hurt about something so it's easier to deal with issues right then and there. ENFJ's are better at hiding it and then they bring it up at a later event to discuss. So ENFJ's just seem to hold onto it for a longer period of time.

I was going to post ENFJ when comparing my real life ENFJ and ENFP friends. But you're right. The ENFJ holds grudges and the issue will come out at a later date, in a sideways manner.

 

[Glycerine]

ENFPs. We have Fi. We're not openly emotional.

Personally, I am very thick-skinned. I'm hard to truly offend, and I can stand up for myself.

all the ENFJs I know are overly emotional and dramatic as HELL. It seems as if something ALWAYS has to be wrong in their lives.

F=/= emotions. The "openly emotional" depends on who it is, not type. There are some good examples on this forum for both camps.

 

[HotpinkHeatwave]

F=/= emotions. The "openly emotional" depends on who it is, not type. There are some good examples on this forum for both camps.

Eh, from experience, I feel correct.

 

[Laurie]

We are both thick skinned. When your insides are sweet and mushy you have to work extra hard to respond to life and look like everyone else.

 

[stalemate]

I started to say that my ENFJ coworkers seem really thin skinned to me, but now I'm thinking it is more that they are overly concerned about other people. I feel like they are always walking on eggshells making sure they don't make anyone even the slightest bit irritated. I can't tell if the ENFJ themselves is actually thin skinned or not because all their "sweet and mushy" stuff is so externally focused.

 

[entropie]

enfj definitly, they can stand far more animal sex jokes before calling the police

 

[Glycerine]

Eh, from experience, I feel correct.

That's cool!

I started to say that my ENFJ coworkers seem really thin skinned to me, but now I'm thinking it is more that they are overly concerned about other people. I feel like they are always walking on eggshells making sure they don't make anyone even the slightest bit irritated. I can't tell if the ENFJ themselves is actually thin skinned or not because all their "sweet and mushy" stuff is so externally focused.

I am kind of like that but in the end, I don't really give a shit and will speak my mind.

In some ways, "ENFJs" seem MUCH more detached but in other ways, ENFPs won't let others get to them.... if that makes sense.

 

[Thalassa]

Eh, from experience, I feel correct.

Actually I strongly believe you are incorrect. INFPs are more likely to not show emotion publicly or often because of Fi dominance, but ENFPs can be quite dramatic because of extroversion. The standing up for yourself, etc. is Te push (on Fi, it's not just Te by itself) and it's the point I was trying to make earlier in this thread about ENFPs maybe seeming "meaner" or "tougher" because of the ability to build Te walls, or to lash out, but in truth ENFPs do that because Fi tends to actually take things more personally than Fe.

I stand by my assertion that ENFJs can have outbursts or get emotional or whatever, but Fe tends to actually be more detached, which is why NFJs can continue to produce nurturing and help to others even when they've taken a blow to their personal feelings. I'm not saying that's always healthy, but there it is.

I've also questioned whether you're actually ENFP and could be an ExTP type...

 

[Thalassa]

well, for the easy answer, ENFJ.

thing is, we both take it personally. we both get hurt and angry. but ENFJs protect themselves (and others) with walls of interpersonal removal. ENFPs don't; no Fe. we either open up or we fight back.

chart - in general,

if they think you are right in your criticism:

• ENFJ will take it more rationally outwardly, but may hurt inside
• ENFP will be more openly hurt/embarrassed

if they think you are wrong in your criticism:

• ENFJ will be condescending or give cold shoulder
• ENFP will launch fiery argument

Pretty much THIS.

 

[alcea rosea]

ENFJ's, I think, although they might be the ones who are hurt faster but I think they recover faster. (?)

 

[syndatha]

ENFJ's, I think, although they might be the ones who are hurt faster but I think they recover faster. (?)

I'm far more inclined to become vindictive than hurt.