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[ENFP] Who has thicker skin ENFP or ENFJ ?

Arclight

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I ignored them because I don't think you are making much sense.

I go for understanding. If you don't want to understand there isn't much point in discussion.

You said them..SO if your own words don't make sense to you.. don't put it on me.

I have invited you to ask me for clarifcation and have obviously asked the same of you.
Do you enjoy projecting??
 

Laurie

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I ignored them = your posts. I ignored your posts.

Ok, I'm very sorry I hurt you, I hope it never happens again. Please forgive me, we apparently have a problem communicating with each other.
 

Virtual ghost

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Just a explanation.

The reason why this thread exists is because I am interested in personal opinions and experinces about this topic. The theory does not interest me here.
 

Arclight

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I ignored them = your posts. I ignored your posts.

Ok, I'm very sorry I hurt you, I hope it never happens again. Please forgive me, we apparently have a problem communicating with each other.

Darling, I dated an INFJ and we had a very messy break up..LOL now that hurts ..

You entertain me..
and I have no need to forgive you because you haven't done anything wrong.. have you?
As you said .. we obviously are having trouble communicating .. but that is pretty common amongst human beings.. You have reamined civil despite it all.
 

Forever_Jung

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I am going to ignore this confusing dispute (Maybe it's not a dispute I dunno, it seems quasi-angry though) and just stick my thoughts in here.

Well I would say ENFP's have thicker skin because ENFJ's leads with feeling and have inferior thinking. Also, I find it's harder to get at Fi and make them hurt. Fe would hear an insult and think: 'I am supposed to be insulted' and would probably be upset. I suppose, if you do hit the Fi where it hurts though, it REALLY hurts. But I still think Fi has thicker skin, ultimately. I also think ENFP's would let things go quicker with their inferior Si.
 

sculpting

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That is a difficult question, because my weaknesses are also my strengths, depending upon the context. But sometimes the context requires of me certain things which do not come naturally to me. Hm... let me think about it and get back to you on it with something more concrete.

This ties back to what the knife-wielding-enfp-formerly-known-as-Eluar said earlier-maybe growing a thick skin should not be our objective? Cant speak for the ENFJs, just the enfps.

Also reminds me of Lady X's discussion in relationships about debate and growing tougher to tolerate it.

Should an enfp learn to be less emotionally sensitive? Should we learn to build walls to protect ourselves from the world-these thick skins? We end up doing so just to survive, but should we aim to do so as a way to "grow" stronger?

I dunno. The most beautiful enfps I see are the softest most sensitive ones. They are so gentle and sweet. I am not that at all. My walls are like steel most days. It protects me and makes me impervious to pain, yet it isolates me as well. It isnt good to be this tough skinned for an enfp.
 

proteanmix

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I am going to ignore this confusing dispute (Maybe it's not a dispute I dunno, it seems quasi-angry though) and just stick my thoughts in here.

Well I would say ENFP's have thicker skin because ENFJ's leads with feeling and have inferior thinking. Also, I find it's harder to get at Fi and make them hurt. Fe would hear an insult and think: 'I am supposed to be insulted' and would probably be upset. I suppose, if you do hit the Fi where it hurts though, it REALLY hurts. But I still think Fi has thicker skin, ultimately. I also think ENFP's would let things go quicker with their inferior Si.

Why ignore the dispute in the thread when it's pretty much proving a point? Three NFPs have been going back and forth which each other for dozens of posts over perceived slights and insults.
 

Forever_Jung

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Why ignore the dispute in the thread when it's pretty much proving a point? Three NFPs have been going back and forth which each other for dozens of posts over perceived slights and insults.

HAHA, you're right too! I didn't even notice!
 

Virtual ghost

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This ties back to what the knife-wielding-enfp-formerly-known-as-Eluar said earlier-maybe growing a thick skin should not be our objective? Cant speak for the ENFJs, just the enfps.

Also reminds me of Lady X's discussion in relationships about debate and growing tougher to tolerate it.

Should an enfp learn to be less emotionally sensitive? Should we learn to build walls to protect ourselves from the world-these thick skins? We end up doing so just to survive, but should we aim to do so as a way to "grow" stronger?

I dunno. The most beautiful enfps I see are the softest most sensitive ones. They are so gentle and sweet. I am not that at all. My walls are like steel most days. It protects me and makes me impervious to pain, yet it isolates me as well. It isnt good to be this tough skinned for an enfp.


Perhaps you are using wrong method. (but you can't have a effect on that)


The real thick skin is when you can deal with thing without being hurt. Building walls around yourself is technically nothing more than running away from the problem. (if you are not solving it)
 

Laurie

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Why ignore the dispute in the thread when it's pretty much proving a point? Three NFPs have been going back and forth which each other for dozens of posts over perceived slights and insults.

Wow, that's a unique thing for people to do.

I can't believe I got lumped into a group with No Exit.

I'm enjoying AO giving interpersonal relationship advice.
 

proteanmix

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Wow, that's a unique thing for people to do.

I can't believe I got lumped into a group with No Exit.

I'm enjoying AO giving interpersonal relationship advice.

Am I getting dragged in next? No problemo!

I don't think it's necessarily unique, but for the purposes of answering the OP I think it's ironic the type(s) who started quibbling and such in the thread. Do you think that indicates anything or is it an accident of the universe?
 

SolitaryWalker

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Why ignore the dispute in the thread when it's pretty much proving a point? Three NFPs have been going back and forth which each other for dozens of posts over perceived slights and insults.

A question of what group of people have thicker skin is sociological rather than typological. Ignoring the thread is a good idea because a person's type is only one influence on how thick his skin will be. It is a good way to discourage people from pretending that they could answer such complex questions by arm-chair reasoning. The endeavor is nearly as asinine as someone trying to arrive at groundbreaking conclusions about chemistry or physics without any carefully controlled empirical investigation.

The fact that people who profess to be NFPs here have thinner skin than people who profess to be NFJs does not allow us to assume that all NFJs have thicker skin than any NFP. If we had thousands to represent each type and people from both groups were from different cultures and personal experiences and consistently one type displayed 'thicker-skin' than the other, that'd be a whole different story.
 

Kymlee

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Well I would say ENFP's have thicker skin because ENFJ's leads with feeling and have inferior thinking. /QUOTE]
while I understand you are voicing your opinions here in response to the OP's topic, I think that the use of this phrase could have been worded differently.
I seem to be noticing many a blanket statement in this thread. We are unique individuals, and I don't believe anyone has Inferior ways of thinking, just DIFFERENT.



Continue now :)
 

SolitaryWalker

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Well I would say ENFP's have thicker skin because ENFJ's leads with feeling and have inferior thinking. /QUOTE]

while I understand you are voicing your opinions here in response to the OP's topic, I think that the use of this phrase could have been worded differently.
I seem to be noticing many a blanket statement in this thread. We are unique individuals, and I don't believe anyone has Inferior ways of thinking, just DIFFERENT.

Big difference....

Continue now :)

Read more posts of the kind below and post less.


A question of what group of people have thicker skin is sociological rather than typological. Ignoring the thread is a good idea because a person's type is only one influence on how thick his skin will be. It is a good way to discourage people from pretending that they could answer such complex questions by arm-chair reasoning. The endeavor is nearly as asinine as someone trying to arrive at groundbreaking conclusions about chemistry or physics without any carefully controlled empirical investigation.

The fact that people who profess to be NFPs here have thinner skin than people who profess to be NFJs does not allow us to assume that all NFJs have thicker skin than any NFP. If we had thousands to represent each type and people from both groups were from different cultures and personal experiences and consistently one type displayed 'thicker-skin' than the other, that'd be a whole different story.
 

proteanmix

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This ties back to what the knife-wielding-enfp-formerly-known-as-Eluar said earlier-maybe growing a thick skin should not be our objective? Cant speak for the ENFJs, just the enfps.

Also reminds me of Lady X's discussion in relationships about debate and growing tougher to tolerate it.

Should an enfp learn to be less emotionally sensitive? Should we learn to build walls to protect ourselves from the world-these thick skins? We end up doing so just to survive, but should we aim to do so as a way to "grow" stronger?

I dunno. The most beautiful enfps I see are the softest most sensitive ones. They are so gentle and sweet. I am not that at all. My walls are like steel most days. It protects me and makes me impervious to pain, yet it isolates me as well. It isnt good to be this tough skinned for an enfp.

Offense will come in life, that's a guarantee along with death and taxes.

I don't think being thicker-skinned has to mean being impervious, hardened, or insensitive. For me it's about knowing which battles to fight and what hills I'm willing to die on.

I more or less view being thick-skinned as analogous to building your immune system. You want to be protected enough so that dangerous viruses and pathogens don't kill you, but good bacteria and probiotic thingys are permeable and welcome.

Also, a lot of it is contextual as has been mentioned several times in the thread...what fairly and reasonably sets you off (unjust and incorrect character assaults), what you just brush off as hateration (unfounded gossip that has no bearing on anything), and constructive criticism that should be heeded (weaknesses and areas of improvement).
 

Kymlee

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A question of what group of people have thicker skin is sociological rather than typological. Ignoring the thread is a good idea because a person's type is only one influence on how thick his skin will be. It is a good way to discourage people from pretending that they could answer such complex questions by arm-chair reasoning. The endeavor is nearly as asinine as someone trying to arrive at groundbreaking conclusions about chemistry or physics without any carefully controlled empirical investigation.

The fact that people who profess to be NFPs here have thinner skin than people who profess to be NFJs does not allow us to assume that all NFJs have thicker skin than any NFP. If we had thousands to represent each type and people from both groups were from different cultures and personal experiences and consistently one type displayed 'thicker-skin' than the other, that'd be a whole different story.


ALSO: this post basically sums up the argument with a pretty little bow and sends it on its way. I completely agree. It's rather pointless to continue on a subject that cannot properly be solved by matter of opinions.

Not one person is better or more equipped to handle life's fiery darts than another.
Every person has a story, and that story and ration of experience molds someone into who they presently are.

:)

Good points Solitary!
 

Arclight

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Wow, that's a unique thing for people to do.

I can't believe I got lumped into a group with No Exit.

I'm enjoying AO giving interpersonal relationship advice.

What is so difficult to believe??
You have engaged me in petty squabble have you not?
You still haven't answered why you feel you are qualified to speak on the behalf of all NFs and have therefore done exactly what people are saying.
You got upset and began in earnest to defend yourself instead of explaining yourself..

I think we have done a wondeful job of showing people what thick skin( or lack thereof) is all about. :banana:
 

proteanmix

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A question of what group of people have thicker skin is sociological rather than typological. Ignoring the thread is a good idea because a person's type is only one influence on how thick his skin will be. It is a good way to discourage people from pretending that they could answer such complex questions by arm-chair reasoning. The endeavor is nearly as asinine as someone trying to arrive at groundbreaking conclusions about chemistry or physics without any carefully controlled empirical investigation.

The fact that people who profess to be NFPs here have thinner skin than people who profess to be NFJs does not allow us to assume that all NFJs have thicker skin than any NFP. If we had thousands to represent each type and people from both groups were from different cultures and personal experiences and consistently one type displayed 'thicker-skin' than the other, that'd be a whole different story.

That's true, but I've started thinking about it this way.

This forum is the largest database we have of people who say they fit or are a certain type. Then I think about what opportunities do I have to observe enough people AND ALSO know their MBTI type so that I can start connecting behaviors and tendencies with types.

If I do it at work, I don't have the opportunity for people to know their type in depth and self-confirm. So then I have my best guess as to what their type is (which could be wrong!) and then observe from there. Aside from setting up a little biosphere and having people confirm their type and serve as a control group, the next best thing is this forum. It's not perfect of course and you just gave a very viable reason why it isn't. I try to notice typological tendencies and trends across threads, and I must say my unscientific opinion is this fairly consistent response.
 

sculpting

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Perhaps you are using wrong method. (but you can't have a effect on that)


The real thick skin is when you can deal with thing without being hurt. Building walls around yourself is technically nothing more than running away from the problem. (if you are not solving it)

But using Te walls I can solve problems every effectively and never get hurt. I quell any emotions and just resolve issues. It is very logical and detached and effective.

For an enfp I think growing these Te walls is the way we develop a thick skin-although I'd love to hear alternative suggestions as well because maybe there are other ways??

To use Fi-an enfp core-is that even possible without opening yourself up for emotional hurt? Maybe very experienced Fi users can develop fine resolution in how closely they attach to others so they are not hurt so much by slights?

I really cant say I understand this. I love like a child. To allow another to see and feel my emotions, interact with them via my childlike Fi? This means that I will mirror every bit of the pain and hurt I perceive them to feel. This means that I cannot hurt them in anyway or I will feel that pain tenfold over and feel waves of guilt. This means I endlessly forgive.

Maybe growing Fi rulesets allows us to emotionally protect ourselves more effectively? We learn it is okay not to forgive, it is okay to hurt others sometimes? I dunno...so confused on this issue. It defies logic.
 
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