[ENFP] Who has thicker skin ENFP or ENFJ ?

[Amargith]

Depends on what you're discussing. Generally speaking, I think that it's way easier to ruffle an ENFJs feathers when you are rude and not politically correct etc and display a definite lack of interest in caring about others, whereas an ENFP will be way more easily offended if you attack who they are as a person and what they believe strongly in.

Likewise an ENFP will try to udnerstand why the person is rude, or not politcally correct or not caring about others, whereas the ENFJ will be more likely to calmly address the personal critiscisms as they often value how others see them for personal growth purposes, especially if those criticisms include values that are held high in that community.

I also personally think it might be easier to dismiss someone dissing your beliefs and who you are when you feel that you've got the entire community backing you up in what you believe and who you are, aka social protocol. For an ENFP it's a rocky road of individualism, causing you to sometimes self-doubt, making criticism that much more painful. At the same time the ENFP is way more likely to be curious as to why an individual is not believing in the same things they are (caring for others), or why they are rude, whereas an ENFJ will feel the urge to teach and defend the values held up by the community as important for the group.

 

[sculpting]

Thick skin is not an NF goal unless you are jaded and even then you are focusing on something that isn't an inherent strength so you are wasting energy on it.

yes.

ENFPs tend to take things much more personally, HOWEVER, they also have to solve the problem. When someone criticizes them Ive noticed (at least with me and other ENFPs I know) they have to figure out why. ENFPs can become obsessed with fixing things if they have to do with people.

Yes. I cant ignore the truth, and have to dig through it to resolve and evaluate.

 

[Thalassa]

Depends on what you're discussing. Generally speaking, I think that it's way easier to ruffle an ENFJs feathers when you are rude and not politically correct etc and display a definite lack of interest in caring about others, whereas an ENFP will be way more easily offended if you attack who they are as a person and what they believe strongly in.

Likewise an ENFP will try to udnerstand why the person is rude, or not politcally correct or not caring about others, whereas the ENFJ will be more likely to calmly address the personal critiscisms as they often value how others see them for personal growth purposes, especially if those criticisms include values that are held high in that community.

I also personally think it might be easier to dismiss someone dissing your beliefs and who you are when you feel that you've got the entire community backing you up in what you believe and who you are, aka social protocol. For an ENFP it's a rocky road of individualism, causing you to sometimes self-doubt, making criticism that much more painful. At the same time the ENFP is way more likely to be curious as to why an individual is not believing in the same things they are (caring for others), or why they are rude, whereas an ENFJ will feel the urge to teach and defend the values held up by the community as important for the group.

Great points here.

 

[chris1207]

As an ENFJ, when I'm confronted, I back off because I feel that I have insufficient information to win the argument. A lot of ENFJ rationale revolves around inductive logic via Ni<Se subconscious interpolation. Then once we've realized these underlying concepts we have tools for Fe to use in argument. For many arguments, NT will find that ENFJ rationale is quite shady even incorrect but when it comes to arguments about people and their interrelationships, it's iron-clad. It's like comparing a drawing that someone did from memory to one done by an idiot-savant. The detail and clarity of personal argumentation is impressive.

Back to the main, if it's not a subject I really care about why should I continue to argue? Especially, when, if I care, I can gather my forces and Zerg you when we have our next opportunity to argue a point. My J certainly isn't going to let me remember every last detail of your argument.

 

[chris1207]

At the same time the ENFP is way more likely to be curious as to why an individual is not believing in the same things they are (caring for others), or why they are rude, whereas an ENFJ will feel the urge to teach and defend the values held up by the community as important for the group.

Yeah, I agree with your entire post. It's like the other person is a moron and I have to correct them. If I care about you it should be effortless but if I don't it just seems like a big ole pile of work just landed on my desk. I will avoid the work if I deem the outcome to not be beneficial to me.

 

[Laurie]

Yes.. dropping my baggage of past hurts and not letting affect me is growth.. This is obtained by not being so sensitive to the things that once hurt me.. or as people call it, "growing" a thicker skin.. see? that phrase even uses the word grow..

I get what you mean.. You mean to blanket all NF's by defining in your opinion, what our goals should be. As if we are one big collective incapable of free thought or deciding for ourselves what would serve us best.
You could easily solve this by claiming something as opinion rather than fact.
That is what I am going on about.
You might think all ENFJs and ENFPs think exactly like you and that, therefore, qualifies you to make blanket statements about HOW they should behave.. But it doesn't really. If that were true, I would like all ENFs equally.. and I don't
Life would be pretty boring if everything fit into neat little boxes.
Just because one person with an anagram does one thing, doesn't mean ALL people with the same anagram would..

You even tried to compare me to other INFPs that you know..

Now take 2 INFPs .. one Christian and one Muslim and tell me they think and behave exactly alike.. or that their values are on par.. They will have similar passions about their beliefs and the comparison will end there.
I doubt they will get along very well at all.. So similar and yet so different ..
just like we all are.

You need to look up some threads started by Victor, you might enjoy them.

I'm not trying to box anyone in. We are talking about people who are defined by a personality model. It's not perfect, it's just a model. This conversation is tired and makes the INFPs that start them look loopy.

Besides, are you really bringing this crap up in a thread about which enfx type is more ___? Shouldn't you be railing against the OP rather than me? It's my type he is boxing up. If I cry will that help? I like how you boxed in the muslim and christian at the end of your post, btw.

 

[Thalassa]

You assume that having a "thick skin" is growth. Dealing with things that hurt me in a productive way would be growth. Learning not to jump the gun when someone hurts me would be growth. A thicker skin is not, in my estimation, something to desire to have. One unique thing I see with NFs is that we let things "get" to us, that is a good thing as long as we learn how to deal with whatever "gets" to us.

You may be missing that I spent many years trying to figure out the "final goal" of who I am "supposed" to be. I didn't do a very good job changing into anything else that people were appearing to value over ENFP traits and I'm learning that I need to work within my strengths and not try to accept someone else's definition of what I "should" be.

I relate to this. I know that other people in my life at many points seemed to want me to be an ESFJ, and even in my late teens I knew better than that, though I would have some latent guilt that I didn't fit the mold.

I put more pressure on myself in my late teens and twenties for not being an INTx. I put a limitation on myself that I should be more academic, more rational...I used to have interest in psychiatry and even detective work (and I still do, but only in terms of reading or watching movies about it) and would berate myself for being such a "weak" person...that I couldn't be some god-like INTJ who could handle working in a state hospital or for the FBI. I'm not shitting you, I used to really feel bad about myself for not being a person who could pursue these interests IRL, like there was something sick or damaged about me. Even after I grew out of that, I still wanted to be some sort of INTx academic, like I thought that I should go to grad school, and there was no other acceptable path in life.

It's only fairly recently that I've started accepting me for who I am, and not just seeing myself as inherently childish or weak or broken. MBTI has actually helped me somewhat with that.

 

[Arclight]

You need to look up some threads started by Victor, you might enjoy them.

I'm not trying to box anyone in. We are talking about people who are defined by a personality model. It's not perfect, it's just a model. This conversation is tired and makes the INFPs that start them look loopy.

Besides, are you really bringing this crap up in a thread about which enfx type is more ___? Shouldn't you be railing against the OP rather than me? It's my type he is boxing up. If I cry will that help? I like how you boxed in the muslim and christian at the end of your post, btw.

YAK YAK YAK YAK!!!

If this bores you so much then please stop talking about it.
own what you said .. and move along!! :hi:

Victor at least stands by what he says and doesn't tear his leg muscles trying to back pedal his way out of it.

 

[Laurie]

Are you serious or are you an "INFP troll"?

 

[Nonsensical]

I kind of get the impression that ENFJs would go down first because of their stronger reliance upon social acceptance. ENFPs can still function without it. Maybe it has something to do with Fe vs. Fi.

 

[Arclight]

Are you serious or are you an "INFP troll"?

I am not a troll.. I am serious, but probably not as much as you might think I am.

I took offense to your statements about what the goals of NFs are. It's my problem really, much more than yours.
But I simply can not help myself when people make blanket statements and do not qualify them as opinions.
If you said "I think the goal of every NF.... " My Fi wouldn't have gotten all fussed.
Instead of asking me what I meant and to clarify.. You went off.. So I just came along for the ride.
So back on topic then.. Literally it's a sore spot with me, or, tender skin that does not like to get rubbed. growing a thick skin in those places should then be my goal, whether it fits into your perception of how an NF should behave or not. My goal is not your goal nor any other NF's goal.My goal is to grow to be the best ME I can be.
See I can make sense and play nice if you can too.

I for one do not believe for 1 second that Fi doms are all warm and fuzzy like they are stereotyped to be. especially Fi Dom males with lots of sore spots.

You telling me how I ought to behave based on some online functions test result is not a good way for me to grow because it seeks to limit my experience by fitting yours ..

now can we please put this to bed??

 

[funkoozies1]

YAK YAK YAK YAK!!!

If this bores you so much then please stop talking about it.
own what you said .. and move along!! :hi:

Victor at least stands by what he says and doesn't tear his leg muscles trying to back pedal his out of it.

no, It 's not boring . It 's so funny !

 

[Thalassa]

I am not a troll.. I am serious, but probably not as much as you might think I am.

I took offense to your statements about what the goals of NFs are. It's my problem really, much more than yours.
But I simply can not help myself when people make blanket statements and do not qualify them as opinions.
If you said "I think the goal of every NF.... " My Fi wouldn't have gotten all fussed.
Instead of asking me what I meant and to clarify.. You went off.. So I just came along for the ride.
So back on topic then.. Literally it's a sore spot with me, or, tender skin that does not like to get rubbed. growing a thick skin in those places should then be my goal, whether it fits into your perception of how an NF should behave or not. My goal is not your goal nor any other NF's goal.My goal is to grow to be the best ME I can be.
See I can make sense and play nice if you can too.

I for one do not believe for 1 second that Fi doms are all warm and fuzzy like they are stereotyped to be. especially Fi Dom males with lots of sore spots.

You telling me how I ought to behave based on some online functions test result is not a good way for me to grow because it seeks to limit my experience by fitting yours ..

now can we please put this to bed??

Thick skin: you obviously don't have it.

 

[Arclight]

This message is hidden because marmalade.sunrise is on your ignore list. :hi:

 

[Glycerine]

I kind of get the impression that ENFJs would go down first because of their stronger reliance upon social acceptance. ENFPs can still function without it. Maybe it has something to do with Fe vs. Fi.

I think it depends... what you described is probably where ENFPs would have the thicker skin but I think ENFJs have the thicker skin when someone crosses their values.

 

[Thalassa]

This message is hidden because marmalade.sunrise is on your ignore list. :hi:

And you obviously read it since you felt a need to respond. Don't even try to lie - if you hadn't read it, you wouldn't know it was in reponse to your post.

Grow up.

 

[Arclight]

LOL I know you are talking to me.. it's obvious from the fact you have been posting after me and no one else is quoting you.
It's so obvious that I can make this post in total confidence that your last post was probably some tirade about how I must be reading your crap or how else would I know you are talking to me..
Yes!!!! You are THAT transparent. and I am that clever..

 

[Thalassa]

LOL I know you are talking to me.. it's obvious from the fact you have been posting after me and no one else is quoting you.
It's so obvious that I can make this post in total confidence that your last post was probably some tirade about how I must be reading your crap or how else would I know you are talking to me..
Yes!!!! You are THAT transparent. and I am that clever..

I think there might be something wrong with you. You don't put someone on ignore so that you can keep talking to them. Kind of defeats the purpose.

 

[Arclight]

This message is hidden because marmalade.sunrise is on your ignore list.

Get mad!!!!

 

[Thalassa]

I'm not mad. You can ignore me all you want. Except that you aren't. You keep talking to me. There's nothing I can say to add to the way you're making yourself look.