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  1. #61
    Junior Member rogue1's Avatar
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    Jan 2010


    Quote Originally Posted by LindseyLadybug View Post
    I've discovered that I have a huge need for touch (as in non-sexual touch like hugs, etc). The problem is, I don't like being touched by just anyone. If I'm not close to a person, I don't necessarily want them touching me. But when it's a friend I'm close to, it means the world. I have a couple of friends who recognize this and occasionally hug me, etc. But sometimes when I'm sad, I just want someone to hold me (as childish as that sounds). I don't know how to ask for that. I have enough trouble asking for things like that because I was raised to believe that emotional needs aren't important. The friends who will do this are already always doing for others so I feel like I'm burdening them if I ask. I do things for them to give them a break and make them feel loved. There are so many times when I feel so alone but can't bring myself to ask for support without sounding like a whiny and needy person. It's not like I don't like being alone. I enjoy it and consider myself fairly independent. I had a friend tell me that because I don't ask for hardly anything from others because I'm afraid of their rejection, that my life is kind of bleak. I guess my question is, can anyone else relate to this dilemma? Or has anyone figured out the solution?

    Love Languages Test

    I am very much like that, and when I figured out that everyone has a love language "love tank" (so to speak) I found a part of me that was missing. Those needs are filled in a way we understand them, and we will usually try to love someone else with our love language style.
    A friend of mine(Words of Affimation) was going through a hard time and so I(physical touch) tried to comfort him with hugs and stuff(it was nice but not what he really needed). Everything I said was a little hard and not very kind and I watched him wither inside. Thankfully I saw what I was trying to do and I changed it(as best as I could), to positive, kind, words. In one day his joy began to come back around.
    This is a very neat relationship tool.

  2. #62
    Member themightybob's Avatar
    Join Date
    Mar 2010


    I am like this as well, possibly it stems from having a rather cold family as a child. If i told anyone who knew me in person about this they would think i was kidding. I am a pretty large guy with a very masculine disposition for the most part.

    I once thought that i was an INFJ that just ignored my emotions as a defense mechanism because of things like this.

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