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  1. #22861
    Pasta Goddess ThisName's Avatar
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    School says I have class from 8:30 until 17:30. Me says no. Brain says; you need sleep my child, sleep longer, devour that extra hour! So I listen to brain.





    Now I forgot if I already took my meds or not... Halp. I remember looking at them, but did I swallow them too ??? I feel as if I should sleep indeed. I am high on sleep deprivation. :')
    “I can’t explain what I mean. And even if I could, I’m not sure I’d feel like it.”

    - J.D. Salinger, The Catcher in the Rye
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  2. #22862
    Moderator Yuu's Avatar
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    Better. Last night I was so ill I wanted to die. I may have, my lips were cold and blue!
    I honestly contemplated never going to dialysis again.

    When things been at their ‘worst’ I never got too down because I knew was temporary, that it would get better, but honestly, I don’t feel that way anymore. Things only get worse and I have no hope they will improve.

    - I have no hope my husband will ever get a job, and because of that, no hope we will ever move out of this fucking ghetto
    - I have no hope of getting off dialysis again. I told my Dr “ YES! I want to do the work to get on a kidney transplant list!” That has gone nowhere
    - I have no hope of ever getting a therapist; I told my social worker I desperately need one, that has gone nowhere
    - I was told that I had been referred to a spine Dr, that has no gone nowhere
    - I was told I had been referred to a pain specialist (because my Dr refuses to give me a damned thing for the chronic back and knee pain, nor anything for the splitting headaches which start every other day after dialysis and go well into the next day
    - I have no hope that my husband is ever gong to deal with whatever issues he has and become are more self- aware person I do not need to walk on eggshells around

    The biggest problem, is that I never really needed ‘ hope’ in the past because to me ‘hope’ is not much different than ‘luck’ and I always had it within my power to fix things myself.
    None of the above problems are within my control, they are all things I must rely on others to handle and I HATE it. The vast majority of people just don’t give a shit about things that aren’t their problem, that or they are just too lazy and unmotivated, happy to lie around because ‘ it’s too haaaard’ I wish they would just hand over their resources t9 me. I could make life better for all of us, but nope, they must keep all of the power so they can continue doing nothing with it.

    Oh right, I said I was feeling better, I am, physically.
    " Do something, even if it's wrong."

    " I don't wanna have to but I will, if that's what I'm supposed to do
    We don't wanna set up for the kill, but that's what I'm 'bout to do."

  3. #22863
    幽霊||๏ sᴇxʏ ʜᴇxʏ Hexcoder's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by ThisName View Post
    Now I forgot if I already took my meds or not... Halp. I remember looking at them, but did I swallow them too ??? I feel as if I should sleep indeed. I am high on sleep deprivation. :')
    I used to have this issue frequently until I bought a weekly pill container and downloaded a meds tracker called CareZone.
    #r3c0de

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  4. #22864
    Moderator Yuu's Avatar
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    Angry. Violated. Degraded. Dehumanized. Just saw the list of tests to be put on the transplant list. I’d rather stay on dialysis.

    SO angry, so tired of being forced to do put with things that I find so utterly violating and against everything I believe in, in ways people never have to, would never ask to be, would argue is ‘ against their basic rights’.

    Wish I could claim ‘ conscientious objector’. But no, that only works for people who want to infect their children and endanger everyone around them. Not for individuals who are just tired of being violated in a way that affects only themselves.
    " Do something, even if it's wrong."

    " I don't wanna have to but I will, if that's what I'm supposed to do
    We don't wanna set up for the kill, but that's what I'm 'bout to do."

  5. #22865
    幽霊||๏ sᴇxʏ ʜᴇxʏ Hexcoder's Avatar
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    Most people dont care about the problems, etc. of people they dont know.I am apparently not most people, just naive for expecting people to give a damn about their own species the same way I do.
    #r3c0de

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  6. #22866
    幽霊||๏ sᴇxʏ ʜᴇxʏ Hexcoder's Avatar
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    #r3c0de

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  7. #22867
    Saprophytic Aphrodite Peter Deadpan's Avatar
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    I mean I could go for a full 8 hours of sleep...
    Perpetual mood


    "It is not the personality's task to tell the truth,
    but to seem to, try to, or try to seem to."


    Philip Trussell

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  8. #22868
    H Y P E R B E A M Earl Grey's Avatar
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    S K Y K I N G
    I wanna be the very best, like no one ever was

  9. #22869
    H Y P E R B E A M Earl Grey's Avatar
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    Egh. Blaegh. Belgh. BLEIGHAGEAG
    S K Y K I N G
    I wanna be the very best, like no one ever was
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  10. #22870
    Moderator Yuu's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Peter Deadpan View Post
    I mean I could go for a full 8 hours of sleep...
    It’s certainly the season for it. Dark. Grey. Cold. Fuck that. * goes back to bad*
    " Do something, even if it's wrong."

    " I don't wanna have to but I will, if that's what I'm supposed to do
    We don't wanna set up for the kill, but that's what I'm 'bout to do."
    Likes Peter Deadpan liked this post

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