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  1. #22851
    Bismuth's Xmas Gift 🥰 Amethyst Archon's Avatar
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    Anxious and repetitive like my head feels like a broken record rather than the vibrant explorer it should be.
    9w1 7w6 2w3 Pisces Sun-Libra Moon-Libra Rising



    💎My Beautiful Bismuth💎
    You are my treasured sweet little daisy, my Queen and most importantly of all my best friend in the whole wide world. I love you so much!

  2. #22852
    darkened dreams Ravenetta's Avatar
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    Nerves or something I've been eating the last two days is leaving my stomach in bad shape. I don't think it's flu. I have been forcing myself with schoolwork and drinking a few beers, which I've mostly cut out, but I've also eaten popcorn which I think may have a bad effect. So I'm kinda bleh right now, but I'm close to being done with the semester, so hopeful, but I'll have to recuperate from all of this.
    bunny omi


  3. #22853
    H Y P E R B E A M Earl Grey's Avatar
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    Him, looking completely and utterly distressed, going to a friend and finally showing a sliver of vulnerability:

    "What if things were... Different? What if... Things happened different? Do you think... I would have been one of those party extroverts?"
    [friend is silent, he reads it as friend being baffled that he'd say something so inconsequential]
    "THIS IS A SERIOUS CONCERN DON'T YOU '???' ME"
    S K Y K I N G
    I wanna be the very best, like no one ever was
    Likes ThisName liked this post

  4. #22854
    幽霊||๏ sᴇxʏ ʜᴇxʏ Hexcoder's Avatar
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    WOOHOO
    It's my weekend

    Not
    because im working mandatory overtime
    fuck you job

  5. #22855
    Moderator Yuu's Avatar
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    From one hotel to another. I don’t mind. I love hotels. I’ve always been very happy staying in places like that; where you only have one room to myself but can go downstairs for anything else I want when I want. I am even more motivated to get up in the morning ( hence it begining six am and my ass is downstairs with a coffee and breakfast.
    I would be quite happy if I had to live here the rest of my life.

    Unfortunately, this hotel is booked past Wed. Not a big deal, I can stay at number of fancy hotels in Redmond but traffic is SO awful between there are Dialysis that I’d need to leave around 4 to get there by 6:00. ( they are about 6 mi apart.) This hotel is only a few blocks away from aforementioned Dialysis center.

    Also, while I was looking forward to getting some sleep these beds are too hard-though not as bad as the ine’s in Portland.

    I guess I would say I am mostly happy. At the very least I can say I am no longer living in half of a house with no accesable kitchen/ dining room.
    " Do something, even if it's wrong."

    " I don't wanna have to but I will, if that's what I'm supposed to do
    We don't wanna set up for the kill, but that's what I'm 'bout to do."

  6. #22856
    H Y P E R B E A M Earl Grey's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Yuu View Post
    From one hotel to another. I don’t mind. I love hotels. I’ve always been very happy staying in places like that; where you only have one room to myself but can go downstairs for anything else I want when I want.
    Oh my god. This is why the 'houses' I build in sims end up as literal mansions. I mean seriously, it can take a sim 30-60 sim minutes to go from the upper floor to lower floor (I tell myself it's because sim AI is stupid).

    Seriously though, maximum amount of floors then a roof lounge place thing, patios, outdoor veranda and outdoor buildings with different and specific purposes- maybe the next thing I make on the sims should be something like a hotel. The funny part of all this is my friends I show my stuff to end up screaming "GREY THAT IS NOT A HOUSE!! HESUS CRUST" which is really funny and it's like I have this sheer incapability of building a sane, normal-looking house. Like I tried making a 'smaller' house that was actually a house once and it was still like, HUGE.

    That aside, SAME THO. I actually enjoy staying in hotels.
    S K Y K I N G
    I wanna be the very best, like no one ever was

  7. #22857
    Non-Oblivion Lady Lazarus's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Luminous View Post
    Not enjoying when someone who was previously friendly to you tells you they "give no fucks" about you (and it wasn't just about me, it was about everyone she didn't remain in contact with) is vastly different than thinking there's a special connection or even wanting there to be a special connection. Seriously, my comment was partly passive aggressive, but it was also true. If you want to make friends, don't say things like that.

    I hope that things get better for you, honestly, LL. That you find a compatible person who will help you.
    I also think the implication that you want or assumed some special connection where there was none was around given the kind of person I am. Which I don't hide. I'm not like you, I'm very overt about things usually. I'm much more innocent in my methods than you are though you coat yourself in the saccharine. I would never try to entice others to run someone off the forum just because I hoped they would never come back, which I assume is the reason you mentioned everyone I didn't keep in touch with in this post. And I would never believe that the forum must adhere to my vision. As if I were some sort of Nazi purification fanatic. I am not socially graceful and willing to rely on the status quo to bolster my aims. Nor do I need to seem as if I am doing something righteous when I am simply being petty and childish. This is all about you and your inane grudges, nothing more. Not you wanting to tell me something obvious like I shouldn't tell people I don't care about them and not you caring about the fact that I said this in a broad way. (Which I actually don't mean, I may not care too much about certain others, but there are some I do care about. There is a third category. And I did not put that well yesterday.) It's about the fact that you are attached to typology, are mad that I told you I do not believe you are an sx dom, told you that longing isn't the same as what I went through, and it's about the fact that you can't deal with me not giving a fuck about you for some reason. I would link your need for reciprocity with social dominance since sx doesn't need those things, and the fact that this post is literally you trying to use society to your favor, but honestly, who cares what you are. I don't understand you at all, whatever it is. But yes, there is nothing admirable about what you have done. And trying to take that position at this point is ridiculous of you. You have no honor as a person and the way you get angry is like a caricature, it is horribly immature. It was hard not to laugh at your behavior in the type the person above you thread. But I tried my best to show you both compassion and some respect until you wore down my patience toward the end. I approached you with maturity at the beginning and you acted incredibly unintelligent and like a child throwing a tantrum. You denied these things I offered you, so of course I am not open to your desire to have them now in your own way. Trying to do damage control on your role here or whatever it is has failed, because what you did was so pitiful in so many ways that trying to spin it this way now has not saved. All because you cannot handle being typed, because you pathetically attach your self-worth to something as limiting as a type. At least I just yelled at everyone as a teenager who needed to be a 4. You speak a different language, this interaction made that clear to me. And it's a much less innocent one though you are terrible at direct conflict so it mistakenly seems otherwise. I mean, you even bring your friends in to try to create a mob or something. Like that would help.

    My not giving a fuck about you statement was mostly about all of the trolls in that chat if I recall correctly. But you got thrown in there too, for getting in my way while I was trying to deal with others on things you have no idea about. Right after you told me to stay out of it when you were trying to bully another member in your usual cowardly, passive-agressive manner. I have no idea who you must think you are. I bet this ordeal is the sort of garbage you have been pulling while people who you were too afraid of kept you in line started leaving. You were even chummy with the person who sexually harassed me, why would I ever consider you someone close in light of that. Someone once told me that you try to see the good in others as a response to you getting in my way the time I told you I didn't give a fuck about you. And I told them that I don't think that is valuable, I think accepting people as they are and seeing their bad in the process are the actually valuable things. I know this is why we have never seen eye to eye and why I have often found you to be out of touch with reality as I did that time. This is one of the more concrete examples of what I mean when I say that our vibes are incompatible. And all of this is why when I told you that, it wasn't out of the blue. You are just so unwarrantedly self-righteous that you didn't see that as something wrong even when I showed you annoyance over it.

    I sincerely wish that someday, somehow you'll be in a place where you arent willing to be dishonorable and ridiculous, throw everything and everyone, under the bus for your role and your identity attachments. What a pitiful creature you are now. But you do not always have to be. Please keep the pity you where erroneously attempting to show me for yourself, you certainly need it. I cannot believe that what I experienced came from another grown woman. You must have no idea how to help people and must be so impossible to reach because when we sell our soul to the identity attachments, we have given up on being human.

    I am so furious at your ridiculousness and the only palatable way I can see going about it is to get it all out now so that I will not engage in something like holding a grudge for like 8 months. I bet this worked out for you perfectly with people who are just as weak as you are. Because there can't possibly be anyone weaker than all of this suggests from you. I am so furious that your rotten behavior will not go punished. If we want to make everything about type, what is with people with heavy super-ego influences and not being able to fight like human beings. God help me, the number of people here who start things they can't end and engage in some iteration of pathetic indirectness on because they don't know how to be quiet yet ask for things to end at the same time.

    I needed to get all of that out. So yes, like I said I'm a strong woman. And I know in due time I will get better at human relationships. I mean, I did try my best to be good to those here I did give a fuck about. I ask that you please misread that as arrogant and elitist again, simply because it hurts your feelings. As my patience has been gone for days, I do not care to restrain myself so much. You abused my compassion for you when you did not heed in that other thread, as anyone with reason would.

    I do not have enough time to play the mod game again on the cowardly who try to slip between the rules so I am off again after this. But of course, this isn't because you wished it nor is it because of what you have done. I hope you at least know enough of me to know that's not the kind of woman I am. I don't know why you told me that you wished I would have stayed gone, as if I care about what you want. No, it's just that at my current health, it's useless to try to interact with unhealthy people such as yourself. You don't understand because you're not here yet. For your sake and for the sake of those who remain here, I do hope someone else has the time to put you in your place. I think it will be good for you and force you out of the identity attachments that keep people stagnant. I say this all arrogantly this time, tbh, because I do not fear my own strength and therefore, have no intent of hiding it or the fruits of it. I'm truly happy with my life in all respects but the intimate now. I would never lie about that. The self-pitying person I was here, I no longer recognize as me anymore. I do not belong here because I'm not unhealthy, so I know the only answer is to keep trying to find where I do belong. And I look forward to that. I know now I can handle anything.

    This was all really useful in clarifying that I'm not in the place for this place anymore. I missed many here and was welcomed back by them, which I definitely appreciated. It's nice to know that good people persist here. Farewell.

    「」

  8. #22858
    Curious Hermit of the Forest's Avatar
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    Weak. Lifted some heavy things today (but not anything I'm unuse to carrying) and now my right arm feels like jelly.
    Chase the adventure. Cherish the joy.


    Cu·ri·ous
    adjective
    1. Eager to know or learn something.
    2. Strange; unusual.



    INTP ~ 9w1 2w1 5w6 so/sx ~ Burned Hufflepuff

  9. #22859
    Mr. Brightside... The Cat's Avatar
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    Just soldiering on without much meaning.
    With all due respect,
    The Cat.

    Clarity demands a certain degree of objectivity, from the world as well as the observer...


    I’m the one who gripped you tight and raised you from perdition.
    I am Catstiel. I am an Angel of the Lord...

  10. #22860
    Primal evil Sung Jin-Woo's Avatar
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    Feeling the onset of dysregulation. Seems trying to fall back into my old social habits generates more distress than I thought. I have to learn to pace myself better.
    “An intellectual says a simple thing in a hard way. An artist says a hard thing in a simple way.”
    Charles Bukowski

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