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[ENFP] Any ENFPs not fickle or "adhd"?

CzeCze

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I do however have some really weird anxiety issues about appointments. I always show up 15 minutes early. I hate having my day planned as it makes me anxious trying to remember all the stuff I have to do.

This is eerily familiar...

BTW, it surprised me to learn that ENFPs are commonly(?) affected by anxiety and prone to anxiety attacks. Damn Ne/Fi.

In theory, I want to get things done, but I realize I'm a P because the unscheduled day/week/month - it's like a beautiful blank canvas. And as soon as you start making plans and decisions, you reduce the infinity of possibilities until finally you are *gasp* stuck with something and it gets harder and harder to re/arrange one appointment once you get locked into a matrix of multiple appointments.

I know in theory as well this sounds kooky ^^ but I think this is one why my "P" manifests in a very visceral, every day kinda thing for me.

I need to be super, almost over and tightly scheduled or have a ton of things on my 'to do' list or else else my natural inertia (and extraversion?) causes me to drift and be very beach bum laissez faire and get NOTHING done.
 

Malkavia

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Erp... *yoinks Malkavia back into the thread*

Na-uh, not so fast there mister! Things were going well up until you used the Q and E words together and suggested closure would help you sleep *head-shake* this will not do, soon you'll others expecting this concept of 'closure' will cut it when dealing with ExxPs! They'll think they can answer a question and walk away, that we'll stop our quest for alternate answers. That kind of thing should keep you awake at night, just look at the precedent you've set :dont:

....drat!

First, how old are you?

I'm 20, but Ive always had to be organized. I've been completely on my own since about 17 so Ive learned how to take care of myself.

I understand P does not mean disorganized. ;)
 

Thalassa

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I need to be super, almost over and tightly scheduled or have a ton of things on my 'to do' list or else else my natural inertia (and extraversion?) causes me to drift and be very beach bum laissez faire and get NOTHING done.

Wow, I can't live like that. Actually, if I'm tightly scheduled it will CAUSE me to break down, run away, and do nothing. I function better in the long term if I'm given adequate space on an almost daily basis.
 

Moiety

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I'm not organized, by when it comes to people I wouldn't consider myself fickle at all. One thing is true though, my mind tends to shut off for a few seconds if you are talking to me in minute detail explaining something. I can try really hard but inferior Si prevents me from assimilating information in that way. I'll just get the gist of it. People can sometimes confuse this with not caring.
 

gigi_xo

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Wow, I can't live like that. Actually, if I'm tightly scheduled it will CAUSE me to break down, run away, and do nothing. I function better in the long term if I'm given adequate space on an almost daily basis.


yes, I dont think a tight schedule would produce anything but a panic attack :)

I am working on an annotated bibliography due tomorrow morning and I told myself I'd to 3 sources and hour

then I freaked out and told myself to go at my own pace

3 sources were done in half an hour with that mindset :)

just a loose example
 

gromit

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I just have read so many posts here on this forum about ENFPs not calling people back or not putting effort in relationships or appearing, spreading the love, then disapearing again.

I just dont understand that and I myself would never do those things.

Sometimes I honestly just forget. I try to have electronic things remind me of plans and important events, but it's just hard to keep track of everything or to remember to make an outlook appointment or add it to my calendar even. I don't like it in myself, though, especially when it comes to relationships with other people, so I do try really, really hard to remember everything. I just don't always succeed if there is something else on my mind or if I get wrapped up in something very interesting or another conversation or if I fall asleep or something.

And a lot of the time I underestimate how long it will take me to get places.

It's not that I don't care. I care quite a lot... it's just that I am a little bit of a mess. And I'm not trying to make excuses. I actually work really hard at not being a mess.
 

gromit

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In theory, I want to get things done, but I realize I'm a P because the unscheduled day/week/month - it's like a beautiful blank canvas. And as soon as you start making plans and decisions, you reduce the infinity of possibilities until finally you are *gasp* stuck with something

Yeah... I find there's a happy medium. Too much and I just like short circuit or something. Too little and I just sort of mope around. My work day is typically not very flexible, though, so most of my free time I leave unscheduled, except for the weekends, but even then I try to leave time for spontaneity. :headphne:
 

Lady_X

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Sometimes I honestly just forget. I try to have electronic things remind me of plans and important events, but it's just hard to keep track of everything or to remember to make an outlook appointment or add it to my calendar even. I don't like it in myself, though, especially when it comes to relationships with other people, so I do try really, really hard to remember everything. I just don't always succeed if there is something else on my mind or if I get wrapped up in something very interesting or another conversation or if I fall asleep or something.

And a lot of the time I underestimate how long it will take me to get places.

It's not that I don't care. I care quite a lot... it's just that I am a little bit of a mess. And I'm not trying to make excuses. I actually work really hard at not being a mess.

ha! :hug:
 

William K

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That's finicky.

Like a cat. (i.e. "INFPs" :p)

ENFPs are more like puppies. ;)

Hey! Who are you calling picky? :tongue:

*goes back to sorting out the peas from his dinner because his Fi feels that they taste icky*
 

LadyJaye

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I don't know if this might help of not - I'm ENFP, Domino ( my twin ) is an ENFJ. One letter difference, but it is significant. So if you feel that the description of an ENFP fits you overall, then that's probably what you are. I'm very organized myself, I like to have a game plan, keep my living environment sorted out, etc. I do find inflexible timetables anxiety inducing, mostly because it seems I am completely unable to be exactly on time to anything, regardless of how I try. But I do like to have ball park estimates of what my plans for the day will be. I'm not totally a "fly by the seat of your pants" type. ( I think it's because my inner ISTJ us very well developed ). I don't blow people off, but I do take " time outs" from them if I'm feeling fried. But I do tell them what's going on with me,so they don't have to guess as to why they haven't seen me, and so they don't feel abandoned.

My sister is very J, but she's not especially regimented. I think it all depends on how well developed each of your functions is.
 

hermeticdancer

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Maybe this fickle stereotype has more to do with our (ENFP) typical communication style. We in general don't like to make plans in advance if we are going to meet someone out, we are generally not direct and to the point and this may confuse people, and we generally don't share our true thoughts and feelings if we feel uncomfortable, or negative, we will have trouble saying no, rejecting, redirecting, setting boundaries as well as giving proper credit to the other person (extroverted feeling) even though we feel it, we don't say it. This extroverted feeling and making plans, and being more direct and saying how we feel, (is what we want to be more like but struggle with, I think because there are not many role models out there) instead it is easier to be silent, think of expressing feelings as fake, or not real, going off on zany tangents and acting ditsy of ADD, when we are well aware of what is going on inside us, but we can't express ourselves and feel frustrated, or worst, when very frustrated we may become malicious and (throw other people under the bus, and blaming others for our problems, like we are the victims, and gossip and back stab people) would help people trust us more and see us as less fickle. It is harder, but more fun to be straight up confront situations. I still find making plans, sometimes to be difficult, because I don't know how I am going to feel that day, and I don't want to come across as too bossy.

In short, with younger ENFP's I think it is more common, because it is a defense mechanism, when we are uncomfortable letting our guard down, we act like a flake or make jokes a lot. This quality lessens with maturity, life becomes more dull and realize that people can't see though you, and vice-versa.

p.s.(Excuse my grammar, I may have left some words out. It's late, hope this is makes sense...)
 
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Lady_X

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i know what you mean and agree. i come across light and airy and i am to most people because i have to trust you quite a lot to open up and express the other things that aren't easy. it is frustrating not feeling like you can communicate as well as you want and you hate to be misunderstood.
 

Jon_sparky

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I can totally relate to all these comments on schedules! Hate them...
Here is a possible explanation for ENFP actions;
The information gathering is different then others. Instead of collecting information linearly, i.e making lists, scheduling etc. ENFP's will tend to intuitively take in all the information, then distill it all to find the answer or solution to a problem. Now the world, schools, work place, etc. runs on schedules, notes, planning, etc. The ENFP is ready when they are ready, and not by a schedule. The distillation process of large amounts of information takes time, it also require some solitude, to work out. Anyway, this explains the distaste and panic when it comes to deadlines! It also explains the seemingly "spaced out" or scattered reply's that people get when they ask us a question.
There is yet another typology, called Human Dynamics, that deals with the way the different types think, and process information. The ENFP would be called Physical Emotional, relying on there intuition to gather information, but this will be another topic...
Hope this makes some sense! :huh:
Jon
 

Little Linguist

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I'm not fickle or adhd unless I'm under a lot of stress and not being myself or have to do something I really cannot stand.

Usually, most people associate me with being organized, reliable, a planner, and someone who gets very irked by people who are not.

I know, I know - not your stereotypical ENFP, but screw it, I am.
 

Little Linguist

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OMG LADY JAYE IS BACK!!!!!!!!!! :hug::hug::hug::hug::hug::hug: Where have you been????? I missed you!!!!!!!!!! :D
 

Avocado

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Being overscheduled makes me anxious, too. I have to have some plans to make me feel secure, and some sense of what I will do in the near future, but it has to be a loose framework and I feel an intense sense of relief when I have an unplanned day.

Same here!
 
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