[MBTI General] do you distant yourself from people who have seen you naked?

[sculpting]

I guess I just feel so flawed internally. Today I just feel ashamed of what I am and what I do when I try and share that internal side of myself. It is way too intense and overwhelming. So I want to hide it away forever, but get torn by a desire to share it as well as I don't want to be alone.

I don't want to be alone but I can't be true either without seeming a monster. So to let someone in real life see what I feel-in all its honesty is terrifying.

I let me entp best friend read some posts a made a few weeks back and she said she was proud that I said what I felt even if sounded crazy. But I couldn't even talk to her about it. I had no words.

I don't say these things to get attention or make people feel sorry for me-I detest both as they make me feel weak-i would disapear into nothing given the chance rather than seek attention of others.

I wish I could be invisible so I could help people without hurting them. I wish I did not need other people so that I could be alone.

I just feel like a monster and feel shame at being what I am.

 

[Phantonym]

I guess I just feel so flawed internally. Today I just feel ashamed of what I am and what I do when I try and share that internal side of myself. It is way too intense and overwhelming. So I want to hide it away forever, but get torn by a desire to share it as well as I don't want to be alone.

I wish I could be invisible so I could help people without hurting them. I wish I did not need other people so that I could be alone.

I just feel like a monster and feel shame at being what I am.

I can relate to this so much. There are times when this feeling is so strong. Too strong.

 

[Salomé]

Maybe that's human. Is that true of other types like the NTs and STs?

I think fear of vulnerability is pretty much universal.

Well, it's complex. If I like or admire someone there grows the fear that once they know me, they are bored or bothered by me and I'll withdraw because I hate to feel like I am being invasive or a bother to anyone. That causes me problems. Maybe I've even hurt others through this, I am not sure.

This surprises me. I can't imagine you being an invasive type at all. And certainly not boring.

 

[Fidelia]

I've heard several INFPs express heart's sentiments and it always surprises me how different their perception of their level of invasiveness (or boringness!) is compared with mine!

 

[Shimmy]

Nop, I almost always grow closer to those who have seen me naked.

 

[runvardh]

Only if they couldn't handle it.

 

[SillySapienne]

No, I will feel shy immediately after the incident, but then I'll feel a deep kinship with the person(s).

When I am out and about, and in the company of others, I often wear my extroverted suit of arms, but there is a lot of vulnerability and dare I say sadness beneath my surface.

Yesterday night I went out to dinner with my patient/client and her brother and his fiance. I feel very connected to her brother, always have, and he and his fiance often ask about my personal life, (more specifically, my romantic life), and I disclose my issues/opinions/feelings openly with them.

Recently, I have been dealing with a lot of "stuff" and I tried to express myself in a light way, keeping my composure, and towards the end of the discussion he mentioned something to me, a compliment, and then suddenly a rush of tears began running down my cheek. :/

It's times like these when I thank the gods above that I cry quietly, i.e. the tears just fall, no noise to accompany them.

Regardless, when I do cry in the company of someone else, it means a lot, and it displays a love and trust that I have/feel with the person.

 

[Lady_X]

no...i'm only naked with people i trust to start with.

 

[SillySapienne]

no...i'm only naked with people i trust to start with.

Yeah, this.

I'll never forget this time I started crying at Starbucks in front of my father, and he just kept prattling on, I then excused myself and went to the bathroom to get all the tears out.

One of the most awful experiences of my life.

 

[sculpting]

I guess I just feel so flawed internally. Today I just feel ashamed of what I am and what I do when I try and share that internal side of myself. It is way too intense and overwhelming. So I want to hide it away forever, but get torn by a desire to share it as well as I don't want to be alone.

I just feel like a monster and feel shame at being what I am.

Hmm emo breakdown. Gotta love those. But just for the jungian enthusiasts in the crowd, this ^^^ is Te judging the results of an Fi judgment and finding horribly fucked up. It is Te measuring and understanding in advance the results of what happens when I share emotion openly and realizing how bad an idea that is and why it should not be allowed.

By all of the things I "value"-accountability, responsibility, integrity, honesty, self control, stewardship, I grade myself a FAIL. It leaves me torn between hiding and wanting to dissolve into nothing, being overcome with feelings of utter disgust, or running into the street and beating my hands on the pavement until they bleed. I am more repulsed by myself that any external person ever could be and repulsed by my own need to share my pain.

I think today I have decided a new course of action. I think I will be alone and stay alone. At first this seems painful, but there is an austerity and strength in that isolation and in making it a concrete choice it becomes a Te rule to abide by. However I want to find ways to help other people indirectly and in mass via via work or helping in my community in some way.

 

[SillySapienne]

Happy Puppy, what's up?!!?



A healthy dose of self-loathing facilitates growth, but don't fester in this poo-stew!

This too shall pass.

At least you have the courage/gumption to write your feelings down/out.

 

[Lady_X]

Hmm emo breakdown. Gotta love those. But just for the jungian enthusiasts in the crowd, this ^^^ is Te judging the results of an Fi judgment and finding horribly fucked up. It is Te measuring and understanding in advance the results of what happens when I share emotion openly and realizing how bad an idea that is and why it should not be allowed.

By all of the things I "value"-accountability, responsibility, integrity, honesty, self control, stewardship, I grade myself a FAIL. It leaves me torn between hiding and wanting to dissolve into nothing, being overcome with feelings of utter disgust, or running into the street and beating my hands on the pavement until they bleed. I am more repulsed by myself that any external person ever could be and repulsed by my own need to share my pain.

I think today I have decided a new course of action. I think I will be alone and stay alone. At first this seems painful, but there is an austerity and strength in that isolation and in making it a concrete choice it becomes a Te rule to abide by. However I want to find ways to help other people indirectly and in mass via via work or helping in my community in some way.

hugs babe i get that feeling. i think i may choose to stay alone too...too idealistic for relationships, i think. just f@*k it, ya know?

 

[SillySapienne]

Thirded.

At least when you are alone you have a valid excuse for feeling lonely, and there's always solitude.

Gah, but as idealists, let's not kid ourselves, we want loooooove baby, true love!

 

[heart]

no...i'm only naked with people i trust to start with.

I don't think this is possible for an Fi dom, I am either silent or spewing myself all over the place. Everything in life is intensely personal.

 

[Fidelia]

Is that why a lot of INFPs seem to hold back? Are they worried that they will just be too intense if they let it all out?

 

[SillySapienne]

I don't think this is possible for an Fi dom, I am either silent or spewing myself all over the place. Everything in life is intensely personal.

Hmmm, I agree.

Except for the instances/moments when things/life is light light light.

Gah, but even that is personal, but the intensity feels light, not heavy.

"Everything in life is intensely personal"

That's the most profound statement I've come across in days.

I have to process this.

It rings many bells.

 

[heart]

Wel, an Fi dom will experience life different than a Ne dom will.

 

[Charmed Justice]

I prefer to undress in stages. I'm very self-disclosing because I want people to know me. At the same time, there's a part of myself that I keep in reservation; that only comes out with a few select people.

 

[Rebe]

"You don't have to be strong all the time." - esfj friend

me: NOOOOOOOOOOOO. Yeah I do.

Also, if I know a certain trait is unacceptable to you and I want to impress you and not lose my pride, I will actively hide a trait. With an INTJ and ISTP, I hid my emotional vulnerability. The only time I cried like crazy in front of people, I was extremely drunk, extremely and we were all sharing deep stories and I trusted the two people I was with. Otherwise I will always be .

"I guess I just feel so flawed internally. Today I just feel ashamed of what I am and what I do when I try and share that internal side of myself. It is way too intense and overwhelming. So I want to hide it away forever, but get torn by a desire to share it as well as I don't want to be alone.

I don't want to be alone but I can't be true either without seeming a monster. So to let someone in real life see what I feel-in all its honesty is terrifying.

I let me entp best friend read some posts a made a few weeks back and she said she was proud that I said what I felt even if sounded crazy. But I couldn't even talk to her about it. I had no words.

I don't say these things to get attention or make people feel sorry for me-I detest both as they make me feel weak-i would disapear into nothing given the chance rather than seek attention of others."

*hugs* I understand this well. The depth of my despair sometimes is unreasonable, but it is there, like a monster. This realization that the world is imperfect and its people imperfect and we want so much for perfection.

If the INFJs feel it too, then it is not Fi-related? I am actually surprised to read that some ENFPs feel this way as well, as I thought it was a rather introverted thing, this hiding away of emotions. I thought since ENFPs can get along with the external environment and enjoy it so well, they don't get lost in such an extreme.

 

[gromit]

I only want people to see the parts of me that I hold tight to me if I feel like they can handle it. I am not sure what "handle it" means, but I just feel like certain people can handle it and a lot of people just wouldn't know what to do with it, so why would I want to expose them to that needlessly (it is uncomfortable to everyone and no good really comes of it)? I can't really be any more concrete than this, because I all I have is the sense I get from another person and all the different feelings inside of me. I guess TRUST is what it comes down to.

Anyway. With the people who can handle it, it is immensely rewarding and I do feel that instant kinship.

If I accidentally share too much, I feel like the other person has some power over me, which is bad bad bad, so I am very cautious. Something I recently realized that I do: if I am uncertain about a person, I toss a little scrap out there and see what they do with it. If they can cherish (or better, make something out of it), then I can share more. If they dismiss or don't even notice the information, then I can tell the person is not safe for that kind of thing.