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[INFJ] infj's and indecision

killersloth

New member
Joined
Mar 14, 2010
Messages
6
MBTI Type
infj
So, I recently decided to return back to school. I'm 25 and even though I am married I'm in no real hurry to "grow up" as it were. It's barely midsemester and I'm already bored with my current major. It's not that I don't like what I'm doing, my grades are top-notch, but something just doesn't feel right. But that's the problem, it always..doesn't feel right. I'm an excellent student, I do well at whatever I try...but I always seem to be looking for that one thing. That one day its just going to click and i'll know what i'm supposed to do with myself...again..the problem is..it ALL CLICKS. i can give a hundred and one reasons for why i could succeed at a hundred and one different things..and they all seem like good decisions..

So, i guess what i'm trying to get at..is..how can an infj just..go with the flow..and really stick to something...is there ever that one thing? ahhh...its got me so confused i feel like i dont even make sense anymore

thanks for your time

alex
 

michL87

New member
Joined
Mar 3, 2009
Messages
41
MBTI Type
INFJ
Enneagram
4w3
You need to find your life passion, and it needs to be something long-term that you can work on for the rest of your life :)

So yes, there is that "one thing," and you'll know what it is when you find it. But until then you'll just kind of feel like you're floundering (or at least that's how I was until I found mine.)
 
P

Phantonym

Guest
Yup, it never feels right. I haven't found that "one thing" either but I know it's out there, somewhere. :whistling:

Nah, it's not really "out there", I think it's more "within". Peace of mind or whatever. That no matter what you do, it feels right at this particular moment. It might be different tomorrow, but what is essential is that feeling of peace in the present moment.

Anyway, if other INFJs have found "it" and managed to make it stick, I'd be interested to hear about it as well.
 

killersloth

New member
Joined
Mar 14, 2010
Messages
6
MBTI Type
infj
thanks for the words :)

i kind of float between happy in the moment and looking for something to stick..im lucky that i have a good support structure that lets me float around from interest to interest. I just sometimes feel like everyone is thinking "here we go again...she's going to try something new" yarrrrrrrgh!!
 

michL87

New member
Joined
Mar 3, 2009
Messages
41
MBTI Type
INFJ
Enneagram
4w3
Anyway, if other INFJs have found "it" and managed to make it stick, I'd be interested to hear about it as well.

I found mine a year and a half ago in writing. Writing's always been a part of me, but I never thought it would be possible to be a novelist. Then I realized I would never know if I could succeed or not if I didn't try, so I wrote a novel. I ended up signing with a reputable literary agent a few months later.

This was all fairly recent, but it's amazing how much I've changed and grown in the past year and a half after finally realizing my passion and going for it. Becoming a successful author is a long-term goal, so I no longer feel like I'm bouncing around aimlessly. It's nice to have that feeling of finding your purpose in life--something you can always reach for.
 

scortia

New member
Joined
May 23, 2009
Messages
201
MBTI Type
INFJ
My problem with making things stick is that I fancy so many things. I am really flighty and lose interest in any one thing quickly. A big issue is that the concept and the "feeling", not the details, are what draw me in. When it comes to insignificant technical things... my drive totally dies.

But yeah, with a love for music composition, art, writing, directing and educating groups of people.... it's too much to focus on just one. Or, my passion in life is to FULLY create, construct, and direct musicals for the stage. It's about the only way I could balance everything at once. :)

The answer to everything probably could be answered with "balance."
 

hokie912

New member
Joined
Feb 10, 2009
Messages
271
MBTI Type
INFJ
Enneagram
9w1
Yeah, I definitely find that this is a problem for me, too. Fortunately I found psychology as an undergrad major pretty early, but then I was distracted by biology for a while. And figuring out what I'd like to study in grad school has been ridiculous. I've considered everything from developmental psychology to public health to social work to counseling. Right now I'm thinking that I'll do a dual Masters program in social work and public health. I think my problem is that I've narrowed down my area of focus (childhood trauma/abuse and neglect), but I can see it from so many perspectives that I'm having trouble choosing one approach (say, policy development as opposed to clincial work). I hate closing off options when I'm not completely sure what I want. I envy the people who can pick one path and completely throw themselves into it!
 
S

Sniffles

Guest
Well I certainly certainly notice that if something doesn't really click with me, it REALLY doesn't click with me, no matter how much others might persuate me otherwise. OTOH, if something does click with me, there's no way to shake it off. So yeah, perhaps you haven't found your thing yet.

Of course I can also relate to the issue of having so many interests it's often hard for them to stick, or rather stay at the forefront of my mind for any extended period of time.
 

Amagi

New member
Joined
Mar 14, 2010
Messages
10
MBTI Type
INFJ
So, I recently decided to return back to school. I'm 25 and even though I am married I'm in no real hurry to "grow up" as it were. It's barely midsemester and I'm already bored with my current major. It's not that I don't like what I'm doing, my grades are top-notch, but something just doesn't feel right. But that's the problem, it always..doesn't feel right. I'm an excellent student, I do well at whatever I try...but I always seem to be looking for that one thing. That one day its just going to click and i'll know what i'm supposed to do with myself...again..the problem is..it ALL CLICKS. i can give a hundred and one reasons for why i could succeed at a hundred and one different things..and they all seem like good decisions..

All of that is said as if I had written it. I completely identify so please know you are not alone in this kind of struggle. I wish I had suggestions for you as to how you might go about actively trying to find that "one thing" but I do not. Is there a "one thing" for everyone? I'm not sure about that... but that would depend on your outlook on life and things more involved than personality. I hope that you can find peace. I definitely know that's available for everyone.
 

Halla74

Artisan Conquerer
Joined
Jan 20, 2009
Messages
6,898
MBTI Type
ESTP
Enneagram
7w8
Instinctual Variant
sx/so
Yup, it never feels right. I haven't found that "one thing" either but I know it's out there, somewhere. :whistling:

YOU are a BAKER!!!

baker.gif_320_320_256_9223372036854775000_0_1_0.gif


Do NOT Fight YOUR Destiny!!!!!! :cheese:
 

durentu

New member
Joined
Mar 18, 2008
Messages
411
MBTI Type
INTP
Enneagram
5w4
just as a thought experiment, what if you never find your passion ? Going through life from now until death just trying to find that passion.

And what if you find more than one passion? How will you choose between them?


I've been looking into happiness and philosophy for a while now trying to find that "meaning of life". I came across many great answers from existential philosophy. And yes, you are going through you 'quarter century' crisis where you sit and ask yourself "is this all that there is?"


The innate nature of a passion is that it's a process. It's not if you do this, then you'll be happy kinda thing. You have to find something that you enjoy doing. Like arts and crafts or working on research or whatever. You have to like to doing of it and that you will always like the doing of it. This is passion: it's the process, not the goal.

The meaning of life is what you make of it. It's whatever meaning you apply to your life. Taking in account for all your strengths and faults that only you know. Knowing that your type may help speed things up.

Just find something where you can say "I don't mind doing this everyday for the rest of my life" That is probably your passion, however anticlimactic it may be.
 

cafe

Well-known member
Joined
Apr 19, 2007
Messages
9,827
MBTI Type
INFJ
Enneagram
9w1
This is why I'm such a flake. I'm still in my first career, which is being a full-time mom, but I know it's coming to its end pretty soon. I'll be forty this year and I don't know what I'm going to end up doing. Sometimes I worry about it, but the good thing about things 'clicking' is that I also believe that when the time comes I will 'know' what I am supposed to do.

Now that may not happen, but at this point, I feel I've found enough passions outside of a career that if I end up just doing something that I don't hate and that pays enough money to keep me from being a Walmart cart lady when I'm elderly, I think I'll be content.
 

Synarch

Once Was
Joined
Oct 14, 2008
Messages
8,445
MBTI Type
ENTP
This is why I'm such a flake. I'm still in my first career, which is being a full-time mom, but I know it's coming to its end pretty soon. I'll be forty this year and I don't know what I'm going to end up doing. Sometimes I worry about it, but the good thing about things 'clicking' is that I also believe that when the time comes I will 'know' what I am supposed to do.

Now that may not happen, but at this point, I feel I've found enough passions outside of a career that if I end up just doing something that I don't hate and that pays enough money to keep me from being a Walmart cart lady when I'm elderly, I think I'll be content.

I am convinced that the key to a good job is moving to large city and job hopping till you acquire enough experience. Large cities have larger economies, larger networks and this means more opportunity. There's a reason people move to NYC or LA.

An advanced degree can help sometimes, but it's not necessary. For some things it is.
 

cafe

Well-known member
Joined
Apr 19, 2007
Messages
9,827
MBTI Type
INFJ
Enneagram
9w1
I am convinced that the key to a good job is moving to large city and job hopping till you acquire enough experience. Large cities have larger economies, larger networks and this means more opportunity. There's a reason people move to NYC or LA.

An advanced degree can help sometimes, but it's not necessary. For some things it is.
This is true. I'm really glad that we're already modestly but comfortably set up where we are. I'd rather take a beating than live in NYC or LA.
 

entropie

Permabanned
Joined
Apr 24, 2008
Messages
16,767
MBTI Type
entp
Enneagram
783
Tho still a mystery, they cant decide on what to do with their lives but when I ask for a threesome they leave me and never call again
 

Froody Blue Gem

Necromancing Scapelamb
Joined
Dec 19, 2018
Messages
1,141
MBTI Type
INTP
Enneagram
954
Instinctual Variant
sp/so
I've always been bad at making decisions and dithered a lot. I need to ask people for a little more time to think about it. Realistically, I won't always get all of the time in the world that I need. Finding what someone wants can be a difficult thing. It can take a little exploring the possibilities. I may want multiple things but it's not possible to have them all at once/have your cake and eat it too.

There are times when we don't even know what we want. I may think I want one thing but when I get it, things don't work out the way that I thought that they would. I need a lot of time in order to settle on something. Of course, it's the 9w1, not wanting to do something to make people unhappy, trying to see the best possible outcome but there are pros and cons. I don't want people to decide my life for me and want to be independent, in the end you can't please everyone. It's just life.
 
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