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  1. #1
    Senior Member Rebe's Avatar
    Join Date
    Nov 2009

    Default relationship problem...

    to be in one or not to be in one...with an istp. i have been thinking and thinking about this for weeks and i am 50/50. some moments i'm all like YES, let's do this! live my life and be happy! and other moments I'm all like this makes no sense whatsoever and have no chance of succeeding

    reasons for it being an extremely illogical choice: (if I am intj, i would be done with this very quickly)

    - we will be geographically separate from each other for most of the year, say 80% of the year

    - the age difference is huge, i am still in college and he is in his late twenties, though he acts like a young twenty

    - we are not the most compatible when it comes to interests...though we enjoy spending time together and have topics to talk about and we feel very natural toward each other, never any awkward-ness or shyness

    - sometimes we are just not on the same page and can't connect the way I did with an NT intellectually, not to say that he is not smart, he is, very much so. he doesn't understand me well and can't foresee my reactions.

    - i am a planner (where are we going, physically and mentally) and he likes to be extremely spontaneous

    - i feel...i Know that all the perks of a relationship cannot be done over the phone, i don't like phones, he doesn't like phones, it's just not a work-able idea

    why i would say yes:
    - he apparently likes me a whole lot and is willing to work this out
    - and i quite like him too
    - and i always try to live and experience life, that's better than being cautious and plotting every single future moment
    - and it may be about time i give something a chance and be hopeful and trust someone

    If we were in the same town and if I didn't have this big problem that I think I should tackle on my own (health related), I would definitely give it a chance. But that'd be an ideal situation and oh dear, life is not all simple and pretty.

    I am stuck between reason and emotion. I can't listen to either. Maybe I can listen to one of you. Anyone? Hmm?

  2. #2
    Senior Member
    Join Date
    Apr 2008


    I say try it. Forget of all the reasons not to. If it works, great! If least you won't regret not trying it.
    I know it's easier to say it than to do it, but think, what do you have to lose?

    You have stated all the reasons it might not work out, but maybe you should weigh what you have to lose or to win trying. If you really want a rational approach.

  3. #3
    Senior Member TopherRed's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jul 2009
    2w3 so/sx


    Ooo...just saw this one after I launched mine.
    Love is the point.

  4. #4
    One day and the next Rainne's Avatar
    Join Date
    Mar 2010


    Give it a shot. If it doesn't work out, whatever.

  5. #5
    Circus Maximus Sarcasticus's Avatar
    Join Date
    May 2008


    I would have a hard time with a long-distance relationship but I've seen others make them work.

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