Let people think what they want. When someone pushes once too often, and has to pick themselves up off the concrete, or gets verbally and emotionally annihilated, they will only have themselves to blame. Believing stereotypes are accurate, is a recipe for pain.
Most people see quickly that I am not "soft". They may think being quiet and reserved means that at first, but it doesn't take long before they see I have a lot of backbone. I'm actually seen as grouchy more than anything. The sensitivity is not equated with softness, but with being moody.
On jobs I've had, people were somewhat "afraid" of me. I wasn't seen as gentle or nice, but as a sullen crank who would ignore people & do what I wanted. I also have a perfectionist streak which makes me critical, and I have a need to control what is important to me, which makes me stubborn. Because I did my job well, this was overlooked. It actually took time for my "nice" side to be recognized.
I'm not proud of that, but instilling a fear also meant I got away with more and was respected more. My ex boss would make excuses about why he couldn't pay other people & he'd talk down to them, but I
always got paid and was dealt with carefully.
NFs tend to think of others first.
I sooo think of myself first
For me, avoiding conflict has to do with avoiding internal upset, not upsetting others. I fear becoming emotional because it makes me vulnerable.
I'm often sensitive to criticism because I hate being misunderstood (that's why criticism I deem valid is not so upsetting), not because I really care if someone likes me or not.